Pirates of the Caribbean: A Sparrow's Eye View
by LittleVampirateXX
Summary: "Bugger. The word that summed everything up nicely. If my life was a word then that would be it. It would definitely be my favourite word if I was asked to pick one. Not that anyone would ever ask me to. But if they did then I would know what to say." The Pirates films, from Jack's Point of view with an added character ; JackxOC. Please R&R :
1. Bugger

Bugger.

The word that summed everything up nicely. If my life was a word then that would be it. It would definitely be my favourite word if I was asked to pick one. Not that anyone would ever ask me to. But if they did then I would know what to say. With that decision firmly decided upon and planted in my mind for future reference I turned my attention back to the reason that I had first used the word. Well not _first _used it. I'd used it before that moment, but now I had a new reason to use it. My boat was leaking.

Now, in my experience, there is never a good time to have a leaking boat. Maybe that's not strictly true it's useful if it's someone else's boat that sinking, but when it's your own boat it's not so good. Actually it wasn't technically _my _own boat, but why linger over the insignificant details? It was the boat I was on and that is the point. It had been a good day until my boat, or rather; _the _boat had started to leek. I glanced up at Port Royale one last time, felt myself fill with hate and looked back down again. It was a problem that had to be fixed if I were to reach the hateful little place. I jumped down from the mast to bail it out. Water sprang up around my boots as I splashed down. Bugger, now I had wet feet. I scrambled around for a bucket and scooped some of it out. I watched it slosh over the side to join its other watery friends. I glanced up for a fraction of a second, but it was enough to stop my in my tracks. The rotting corpses grinned back at me from where they hung, swinging in the wind with broken necks.

I was not an unusual sight. In fact it was getting to be all too common. I stood up and took off my hat, nodding my respects to them. A fourth noose swung empty with a sign dangling down from it. I squinted at it. _Pirates, ye be warned._ Whoever wrote that had very bad handwriting. Was it meant to scare me off? Was I meant to believe that fourth noose was waiting for me? Did that git Norrington think he could catch me? Well think again mate, unlike those poor bastards you've got hanging there I'm not stupid enough to get caught. I plopped my hat back on my head and grinned. I love my hat. It's the best thing in the world… apart from rum. Rum's good.

The boat was a lost cause. Even I could see that. Good job there were plenty of boats where I was headed. None of them were mine of course, but that hadn't stopped me in the past. One day I'd have my own ship back. Hopefully soon. I sighed and climbed back onto the mast. I stood up straight and with pride as if nothing at all was wrong with boat. The goons of Port Royale stopped what they were doing and stared at me. Can't say I blame them. It was either because the boat I was standing on was partially submerged below the waves or because of my infinite good looks and charm and of course my infamous reputation. I kept my chin up and hoped it was for the latter reason. They really were idiots; it was hard to tell their gasps apart from the baa of a goat at one point. I shouldn't have been surprised. You'd _have_ to be an idiot to live in Port Royal. Nothing good ever came out of there. And nothing ever will, you mark my words.

I suck out my foot as the jetty drew nearer and when it came into contact with the wood I stepped smoothly off. This was going well so far. Apart from the whole leaking boat thing, but that was behind me now. I strode off along the jetty hoping that if I appeared to be confident enough the harbourmaster wouldn't spot me.

"You there!"

_Bugger._

I spun around on my heels to face him. I dazzled him with my most charming smile, but if I'm honest he didn't look all that dazzled… or charmed. How odd, it usually worked on Scarlette and Gisele and those other wenches. Maybe it was because they were of the female variety. I approached the harbourmaster. He frowned at me disapprovingly. Pirate prejudice was something I'd have to get used to in this snobby town. Still, as long as he didn't see my pirate brand then he couldn't prove anything. I walked back over to him, back the way I'd just come still smiling, but his disapproving look didn't shift. "It's a shilling to tie up your boat at the docks." I raised my eyebrows at him and then at the boat, the mast of which was only just visible. He ignored my look, "and I shall need to know your name."

He looked down at the book he held open, poised and ready to write down whatever name I was to give him. As if I would! That would get me arrested for sure. I rummaged about in my pocket my fingers felt the cool of three coins. I pulled them out and slid them onto the open pages of his book. "What do you say to three shillings and we forget the name?" I suggested. He blinked at the money and looked up at me as if he had completely misjudged me- which he had. He snapped his book closed on the coins in case I decided to suddenly snatch them back.

"Welcome to Port Royale Mr Smith," he said brightly. I nodded my thanks. Stupid blighter. And Smith? Not exactly very original now, was it? I walked away from him and just before I rounded a corner spotted a small leather purse. I picked it up, looked around and shook it. The cheerful rattle of coins was the only sound. No shouts from the owner of the purse. Perfect. Now the owner of the purse was me. I pocketed it and continued on my way.

People like me aren't exactly welcome in Port Royal. We are very far from welcome, but that's fine. We don't want to go anywhere as rubbish as this anyway. Not usually, but needs must and that's why I was there. Because I needed to be. I planned on being as quick as was humanly possible. The looks I got from people as I wandered down their streets really summed up the way I felt about them and their stupid little town. I gritted my teeth and reminded myself that I would be out of here soon enough. The place even smelt funny. Not half as good as Tortuga. Now _that _was a place worth visiting. It was alive and exciting, not like this dull, sleepy Port full of empty people and their empty lives. It was more of a prison than anywhere you would want to live and yet people imprisoned themselves here by choice and sneered at people like me who chose freedom over everything else.

There weren't that many people around so I could walk a bit more openly than if I had been there on a more normal day. Those that were around were the sorts that give me a look as if I smelt as bad as they did, but let me walk on. Anyone who would scream for my instant execution was up at the Fort and this was the reason I had chosen today as my day to gatecrash the hellish town. It was bloody Norrington's bloody promotion. It said a lot about the King's Navy that they would reward an idiot and his supreme idiocy with a promotion. This was, however, good for me because it meant that most military concentration was at the Fort and Port Royale was as safe as it could be for me. Not that I was stupid enough to get caught if there was normal military routines… or that they were smart enough to catch me. I grinned at my own intelligence. I really was a genius. I've never met anyone like me. Thank God. If I met me I think I'd end up killing me. Not that I'm annoying. Not at all. I'm just too perfect, that's what it is.

"This dock is off-limits to civilians." One of two red-coated buffoons said as he stepped between me and the Navy vessel I was aiming for. It wiped the grin at my own perfection off my lips. Complications I hadn't been expecting had arrived. Maybe Norrington wasn't as stupid as I thought.

Bugger.

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**Hey.**

**For people who don't know this is a spin-off from my other Pirates series, so it features all my OCs and follows the same plot, but don't worry, you don't have to have read the original series to get this one. It's from Jack's point of view and I would really appreciate it if you all gave me you're honest opinion on whether I've got him right or not. He's hard to write.**

**Reviews as loved and appreciated as those who give them.**

**LV XX **


	2. Saving a Drowning Girl

**Hey. I'm not sure how much sense this A/N will make. I'm really tired and school hates children and wants to see them suffer. I feel like a member of the un-dead. And not a really fast vampire either- a slow and sluggish zombie with no head and no legs. I have my final exams coming up and all the subjects seem to be punishing us for taking them and rushing to get everything done before the deadlines of everything. I'm pretty stressed and have very little time to write, which is a bit of a bum as that's usually what calms me down, but anyway... That ramble was just to say sorry if I don't update as often as normal. I've not forgotten you, but am in fact pining away for you all in some stuffy classroom. Sorry. I'll try and update the regular PotC stuff too, but no promises. **

**Well done if you read through that. Have a coconut and sorry I rambled.**

**Love you all very, very much.**

**LV**

**XX**

**...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...  
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"I'm terribly sorry, I didn't know" as they relaxed slightly I tried to sidestep them. "If I see one I will let you know immediately." They shuffled along to block my way. _Damn it, not as idiotic as I thought then. Better try a different approach. _"Apparently there's some sort of high-toned and fancy to-do up at the fort, eh? How could it be that two upstanding gentlemen such as yourselves did not merit an invitation?" I waited for their answer knowing that my apparent flattery would have thrown them, but that they would be embarrassed to admit that they were in fact not so upstanding. I knew that and they knew that, but they didn't know I knew they knew that and they didn't have to. Eventually one of them told me that somebody had to make sure the dock was off-limits. This was an answer I could have predicted five minuets ago, either because I am incredibly smart or because they're so predictable. Whichever answer it was didn't matter because it meant that while they were squirming around trying to pick the answer that made them sound the most useful I had time to come up with a reply that would not only get me information I needed, but also hopefully get me closer to the one I wanted, "It's a fine goal to be sure but it seems to me that a…" I tired to shift past them, but they blocked me I carried on as if I hadn't noticed and pointed to the boat moored further from the shore. "…a ship like that makes this one here a bit superfluous, really."

"Oh, the Dauntless is the power in these waters, true enough, but there's no ship as can match the Interceptor for speed," said buffoon number on e without even thinking about it. Perfect. I silently thanked him for that tip-bit of information and moved in for what I hoped would be enough to get me on my way. Get them talking, that's the key. If you can get someone talking long enough you can do what you want and they'll barely notice. Unless they're me. I would notice of course, but I'm a special case.

"I've heard of one, supposed to be very fast… nigh un-catchable," I paused to make sure they were hanging on my every word, "…the _Black Pearl_."

It felt funny to say it. The words were often in my thoughts, but hardly passed through my lips. That may have been because I travelled alone and talking to yourself does not bode well for your sanity. Buffoon One immediately jumped in denying the existence of the _Peal_ which I could tell before he even started arguing with him that it upset his friend a great deal. As they argued I slipped my gaze over to the ship they were supposedly supposed to be guarding. This would be the point where, if I had an accomplice or a crew, they would jump aboard the ship and get ready to make sail while the Redcoats were distracted. I did not have either of those things. This was fine because I didn't need them. All that ever happens when you have companions or a crew or people you could call friends is that they betray you and take everything you have. It's best not to get to know people; they will just end up using you. Unless, of course you use them first.

A triumphant, "No" cut through my thoughts and the one denied the existence of the _Pearl_ turned to grin at me. His friend looked rather more disgruntled.

"I have seen a ship with black sails though," he grumbled. As they launched into another debated I slipped away up the gangplank of the _Interceptor _and took a look around. It was small and well enough equipped for me to use. I strode over to the wheel and gave it a spin to test it out. Not to bad, Mr. Norrington, hope you won't miss her too much. I stood behind the wheel and looked out, pretending there was no land in sight. That was when the sea was at its best. When there was no land boxing you in and you weren't quite sure where you were headed or where you were going to end up. Although, it was also good if there was something shiny waiting for you at the end. I like shiny things…

"Hey! You! Get away from there."

_Bugger. _I had almost forgotten about the idiots. Unfortunately, they hadn't forgotten about me. They were shouting and waving their guns around. I don't have a problem with guns unless they are being pointed at me. Since these ones were I stepped back ever so slightly.

"I'm so sorry," I tried to sound sincere, but when you never use a word sincerely it's hard. "It's just… it's such a pretty boat." Their hands tensed around the guns and I corrected myself, "Ship."

They asked me my name and I used the one the harbormaster had given me, but seeing as it was so bloody unoriginal I offered them the chance to call me Smithy. It was a chance they chose to pass on. "What's your purpose in Port Royal, _Mr. Smith_?"

"Yeah… and no lies!" The smaller one tried to look threatening.

If it was the truth they wanted, then far be it for me to hold it back, "Well, then, I confess, it is my intention to commandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasely black guts out."

They stared at my blankly and I grinned to myself. I knew it was too much for the brains of idiots to process, even if there was two of them to figure it out. The smaller one looked cross, "I said no lies."

"I think…" the other one said slowly, "he's telling the truth."

"If he were telling the truth he wouldn't have told us!"

"Unless," I intervened before they could launch into another pointless argument that could easily be solved as the answer lay right before them. "He knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if he told it to you."

I could see how far this threw both of them. They were not exactly the sharpest swords in the armory. They're blank expressions lingered on their faces for a few moments as they tried to figure me out. Many have tried and failed to figure me out and I doubted these two idiots would be the first to. They seemed to thin so too and after exchanging looks decided to shake it off and get on with trying to shoot me. That was always the way. Everyone always seemed to be trying to shoot me and after a while it lost all of its amusements. I raised my hands again, "Parley?" It was worth a shot. They frowned at me, but chose to ignore my offer of parley. It never worked with these Navy gits.

"Why are you here?" one tried a different way of asking the same question. I sighed. The truth had proved, as it had a habit of doing, useless.

"You really want to know?" I asked. They nodded and I sighed again. I could almost hear the rather large and overworked lie department of my brain ticking into overtime. "Very well, but you might need to sit down, it's an awfully long story." They hesitated. "Sit!" I snapped at them sternly and they sat. I hoped I could come up with something long enough for me to come up with a plan. Maybe I should just kill them, but there were two of them and I would be slightly outnumbered. Then again, being outnumbered was something I had grown used to over the years, but like having guns pointed at you it was becoming slightly tiring. "Now, you see it all started on a very remote island inhabited by a fearsome tribe called the Pelegostos. They eat people, but they had something I wanted. So I…"

"What did they have that you wanted?" one of them was already drawn in and hooked on my brilliant narrative. He'd even put his gun down to rest on his knee. This was a good sign; it meant they were warming to me. But then again, who wouldn't? I glowered at him for interrupting.

"Don't interrupt with stupid questions!" I snapped, annoyed that my story had been ruined. His friend looked slightly more disbelieving. He kicked him to make him shut up and turned to sneer at me.

"Get to the point, Mr. Smith!" he said. The shorter one looked slightly disappointed and I decided that he was my favorite. He not only believed in the _Pearl_, but also enjoyed my story.

"I ran aground on their island and then they made me their chief…"

My story was once again interrupted by some screaming. I frowned at them and they frowned back. We looked for the source of the noise. It was coming from the girl falling from the cliff. The noise had annoyed me at first, but I supposed she had good reason to be screaming. We watched her splash into the water before any of us moved to peer over the edge. I glanced up at the Fort. Small figures were looking down, but nobody jumped in to save her. Someone would soon enough. They would have to. The silence seemed longer and quieter after the screaming. Still nobody jumped in. If someone didn't do something soon she would drown. She had been down far longer than she should have without a sign of her head breaking the surface. She had to be in trouble. _Someone jump in. Someone. Anyone. Come on! _I looked to the goon on my left.

"Will you be saving her then?" I asked him.

He shook his head, "I can't swim!" I rolled my eyes and looked at the other goon. He just shook his head at me too. I sighed and before I knew what I was doing I was pulling off my hat.

"Pride of the King's Navy you are," I said bitterly. They were forcing me to do something I really didn't want to have to do. I voluntarily handed over my effects with a warning not to lose them and jumped in to _save someone's life_.

Not just anyone's life. The life of someone who hated me and someone I hated in return. As I dove in I cursed myself for what I was doing. Why was I saving some snob that would only try to kill me for it? If only she'd bothered to learn how to swim then I wouldn't be risking myself like this. I pushed myself through the water and squinted at the shape floating in the water. In her defense, she did look like she was trying to swim upwards. She was panicking and thrashing around; it was no use at all. Her dress wasn't all that much help either; it seemed to be doing more damage than good. As I reached her and griped her waist, her eyes rolled back alarmingly in her head and she went limp in my hands. I kicked upwards, pulling her up with me. It felt like she was tugging me down again. My head broke the surface and I gasped in a lungful of air before my head ducked under again. She was weighing me down. Maybe I should just leave her and swim for shore. No, I'd come this far, may as well finish what I'd started. In the quiet of the ocean I had time to think. It wasn't her, it was her _dress _bogging us down. She floated, suspended in the water with her hair floating around her face as I ripped off her dress. It sank down and the two of us rose upwards. Breathing in as much air as I could I pulled her over one shoulder and swam to where the goons were waiting anxiously on the docks. I was glad to see they still had my things. I pushed her up first and they helped by dragging her onto the dock. I pushed myself up and waited to catch my breath.

"She's not breathing!" I heard someone say. I turned to them. I was not wasting all that energy on a dead girl. I pulled out a knife and pushed them out of the way. I could tell that for a moment they thought I was going to slit her throat. Why would I do that after I'd just saved her? Some people truly are mad. I ran the blade along her corset and cut it open, throwing it to whichever buffoon was closest. She immediately turned onto her side and began retching and coughing up all the water in her lungs. She flopped back onto her back. She looked at me and I did not see her fill with hate. She looked rather dazed and waterlogged. Probably because she was. She looked slightly familiar. But not as if I'd met her before, as if she reminded me of someone.

"I know these events can be boring, love, but there's no need for you to throw yourself off a cliff," I smiled at her. Her mouth twitched as she sort of began to smile back. Then her sea-blue eyes widened. She'd realized what I was. She had finally figured out I was a pirate. But still she didn't look disgusted. She looked a little scared, but surprised more than anything else. Maybe the hate feeling hadn't dried off yet. I glanced down, drawn to something shiny. And I got the shock of my life.

She was wearing a pirate medallion. And not just any medallion. One that as long as she was wearing it put her in more danger than she could ever dream of and tied her to the pirate world. The question was- what was she doing with it. I picked it up and looked back at her. She just looked scared now. Scared and guilty, like I'd caught her out. Which I kind of had.

"Now where did you get that?"


	3. Outsmarting Some Goons

**Enjoy. Love ya!**

**XX  
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I honestly thought that she was going to answer me, I really did, but she spent to long staring at me in shock and guilt. Some people waste so much time feeling guilty when it's really not worth it. We were suddenly surrounded by an army of red coated idiots. And their chief was barking orders at me to stand up. I came face to face with Norrington and felt absolutely nothing but pure hatred for him. The girl looked scared as she scrambled to her feet. She looked scared of Norrington which was ridiculous. I tried to count the number of guns pointed at me, but I got bored before I could finish which is a shame since it could have been my personal best.

The Governor stood there looking concerned in his idiotic wig and ordered for me to be shot. I cursed the almost-drowned girl. This was her fault. "James!" she said before I could finish silently calling her every insulting name I knew. Her brow was creased in a worried little frown and as she pulled a blanket around her shoulders a wild worried light danced in her eyes. How come she got a warm blanket? Where was mine? I had been in the water too. Had everyone forgotten that? These people were so bloody rude. "Do you really intend to kill my rescuer?"

I watched with interest as he looked at her in the same way I would have loved to have looked at him if it were not for the fact my life was on the line. She winced a bit, but stayed firm, staring him back. He seemed to admit defeat and looked at me. She must have some standing over him if he was going to listen to her. And she new him by his first name. Maybe they were married or something. He tutted once and turned to me. "I believe thanks are in order," he extended a hand. I didn't really want to touch it to be honest, but there didn't seem to be much else I could do. I reached towards him slowly and hoped that I wouldn't catch any kind of disease from touching his hand. You never could tell with these people. He grabbed my hand mid-air and pulled it roughly towards him.

_Bugger._

The slimy git pulled up my sleeve and revealed the 'P' one of his learned colleagues had scorched into my arm. Norrington looked smugger than I though possible, even for him, "Had a brush with the East India Traiding Company have we? Pirate."

He paused before the word 'pirate'. He needn't have bothered, no matter how long you paused for dramatic effect the word 'pirate' never fails to cause the same reaction from people like them. Everyone shrank back from me and the Governor's voice came out a few pitches higher than even that of a normal woman, "Hang him!"

Norrington was pleased of the excuse even though we all knew that that was what he had been planning to do to me since he'd clapped his slimy little eyes on me. He barked orders to his crew as if they were dogs and one of them even ran to fetch something for him. What a good doggy he had. He pulled my sleeve further up my arm and tutted at my tattoo. Just 'cause he wasn't cool enough to have one. All he got was a stupid wig. "Well, well, Jack Sparrow isn't it."

"It's Captain actually," I informed him. Everyone always forgot that. Now I had expressly told him of my status to his face in front of all these witnesses he couldn't forget again.

"I don't see your ship, Captain." he said, looking around in his stupid wig with a stupid look of smug mock-interest. His stupid crew laughed with him and that did wonders to boost his ego.

"I'm in the market, as it were," I jumped in before his ego was so swollen it burst all over the docks and made a mess of all the pretty boats.

One of the goons decided to pipe up, "He said he'd come to commandeer one." Oh, for goodness sake! When will goons learn to shut up? I turned to give him a look I hoped would encourage him to pipe down more often.

"Told you he was telling the truth!" The other one piped up before I had a chance to pipe him down. He was holding all my effects and handed them over to Norrington. "These are his, sir."

_Bugger._

_Was that not losing them? I didn't think so, goon._

Norrington was looking at my pistol as if it had just been sick in his hand. I wish. "No additional shot or powder." He dumped it back down and picked up my compass. "A compass that doesn't point north," _Yeah, well who wants to go North? North's boring, trust me, I've been._ He unsheathed my sword and looked up at me scornfully, "And I half expected it to be made of wood."

_I half expect you to be made of wood._

"Ignore him Captain Sparrow, everyone else does," said a voice from the sidelines. I looked at Drowned Girl, just like everyone else was. She looked as if she wished she hadn't spoken at all. I grinned at her to reward her for showing some spirit and backbone. The corners of her mouth twitched, but did not form into a fully-fledged smile. Smiling had probably been banned by Norrington. She looked at him and stopped any expression what so ever from entering her features. I sighed. The last flicker of hope that the upper-class were even the slightest bit less upper-class vanished into oblivion. She became just like the rest of them.

"You are undoubtedly the worst pirate I've ever heard of." Norrington was being awfully childish.

"But you have heard of me." I pointed out. I thought I heard Drowned Girl chuckle, but I must have been mistaken. I glanced at her She had turned a pretty impressive shade of red. Norrington grabbed me roughly by the shoulder and pulled me up the jetty. He is, naturally, a week man and I would have been able to push him over, but he caught me off guard. Damn Drowned Girl again. Norrington's little 'puppy' Gillette had the handcuffs waiting to chain me up. Then Drowned Girl's friend stepped forward.

"Commodore, I really must protest!" It was the Governor's daughter. This was a turn of events. "Pirate or not, this man saved Izzy's life."

Thank God _someone _remembered. Norrington wasn't having it though, "One good deed is not enough to redeem a man of a lifetime of wickedness."

"Though it seems enough to condemn him," I said. Norrington's upper lip curled.

"Indeed."

His puppy finished chaining me up and stepped away from me. "Finally!" I threw my chains around Swann junior's neck and used her as a shield. The guns pointed at me wouldn't dare go off if she was there. Just as I had suspected Governor Swann ordered them not to shoot. I smiled at him. "I knew you'd warm up to me." He looked disgusted. Pleased with myself I looked to Norrington, "Commodore Norrington, my effects please… and my hat!" I watched him hesitate and pulled the chains around the Governor's daughter's neck tighter. "Commodore!" he warned him to hurry him long. He knew he had no choice and no options that wouldn't put Swann junior in danger. Norrington picked up my effects and looked at me like yet another goon. King Goon. "Elizabeth. It is Elizabeth, isn't it?"

"It's Miss Swann," I heard the icy, bitter tones in her voice and guessed she was already regretting trying to help me. Her mistake, it was the only way she'd learn.

"Miss Swann," I said as sweetly as I could, which is very. "If you'd be so kind." She paused. No wonder the Navy was so bloody rubbish; they took about three months of hesitating before they could follow any simple orders. "Come, come dear, we don't have all day." Norrington handed Miss Swann my possessions and stepped back to glower at me. He was a rubbish glowerer. I could glower better than him any day. I plucked my pistol from the top of the pile. I was good to be the one with the gun for once, not that I would use that shot, not after all this time, but they didn't need to know that. I put the gun to her head and turned her around. She looked like she hated me, which is a _very _hard thing to do. Some people manage it though, "Now if you'd be very kind."

I trained my eyes on Norrington as Miss Swann reluctantly and rather moodily put my hat on my head and then as she reached around me to put on his holster round my shoulders Norrington's face twisted with jealousy. I smiled at him. _Yeah, I bet you wish you were me now, King Goon. _Norrington sighed. Swann gave a particularly moody tug on my belt. "Easy on the goods, darlin'" I muttered to her. Her upper lip curled.

"You're despicable!" she snarled.

_Is that your best? Is that all you've got. I hate to say it, love, but I've had worse. _

"Sticks and stones, love." I told her. "I saved your friend's life, you saved mine. Now we're square." I spun her back around and everyone shuffled a bit closer. I saw them panic as I backed towards the end of the jetty. "Gentlemen, ladies" I nodded to Drowned Girl. She looked scared of me now. _You win some, you lose some. What did it matter? They'd never forget me. Who could?_ "You will always remember this as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow!"

I pulled the chains from Miss Swann's neck and pushed her into them. Every last bloody one of them reached out to catch her and make sure she was alright. I kicked out to free a rope and grabbed it on its way up. Before any of them realized what I had done I was soaring above their heads. Flying through the air, free as a bird… free as a Sparrow.

I landed on a wooden beam high above them. They started to fire at me and bullets pinged through the air, but didn't hit me. I was too fast and they were too rubbish. The chains proved very useful. I swung them over a rope and caught the other end. I pushed off and gripped them hard in my hands. I was once again airborne. I slid down the length of the rope and managed to let go and keep running without stopping as my feet touched the ground. I had to duck as they shot at my head, but they may as well having been blindfolded.

I was too fast for them. They were too stupid and I was far, _far_ too clever. But I could hear their feet pounding the streets and even _I _wasn't cocky enough to think that this was over or that I was, by any stretch of the imagination, safe.


	4. A Eunuch in the Blacksmiths

_I'm a genius._

I really, really am. I am also amazing at hide-and-seek. Norrington's rubbish, but then again, he's rubbish at everything except being a first class idiot. I could hear him and his men running around desperately trying to seek me, but they never would. I was too clever at hiding. It did strike me that this was a rather odd and one-sided game of hide-and-seek. I had always thought that there was meant to be one seeker and lots of hiders and yet here I was the one solitary hider surrounded by hundreds of seekers. Clearly the rules and point of hide-and-seek were far too complicated for Norrington's tiny little brain. I heard the footsteps run past and fade away again without stopping to find me. _Idiots._ I pulled my sword out from the hand of the statue and poked my head around it. No shouts or cries of "there he is", "we've found him" or "look at that devilishly handsome man, let's make him the King of Port Royal let him have all our boats". It was unfortunate that the latter did not happen, but at least I was safe to move. I snuck out and glanced up at the building in front of me. It was a blacksmiths. Perfect; Lady Luck was finally beginning to favour me. Good for her, I'd buy her a present next time I saw her.

I pushed open the door and glanced around. A loud snore drew my attention to the drunk, sleeping blacksmith in the corner of the room. He was so drunk even his snores were slurred. Good for him, it was nice to see _someone _in Port Royal knew how to spend their time wisely. I crossed over to him and gave him a prod to see if he'd wake up. When he didn't I turned my back on him. As I may have explained before I am not and idiot, I am quite the opposite and so I was clever enough to know that even when people appear to be asleep, they may in fact only be pretending so that they can betray you when you're back is turned. Rather than let the blacksmith sneak up on me as others have done I turned when the sleeping man was least expecting it and screamed at him. He didn't even flinch so either he had nerves of steel that could withstand my ferocious "Whoa!" or he was truly asleep. With that firmly tested out I looked around for something to break the chains still binding my hands together. My eyes came to rest upon a hammer.

_Perfect._

I don't know if you have ever tried hitting something tying your hands together with a hammer in order to break it, but if you've not I'll tell you now so that you don't waste any time in trying it out for yourself that it is incredibly difficult. With ever thud of the hammer I cursed it for being so useless.

_Bloody_

_Stupid_

_Hopeless_

_Good-for-nothing_

_Piece_

_Of…_

This wasn't working and it was never going to. Time was about as much my friend as Norrington was and so I needed a quicker more efficient way of breaking free. A donkey brayed to my left and I grinned. I'd always liked donkeys. I may not have acted like it when I shoved a red-hot poker up its rear-end, but I really do like them. Honest. The donkey gave a start and moved away from me. Can't see why. As it moved the machinery it was tethered to began to creak into motion and I sprang up to put the chains on one of the cogs. As it turned and came into contact with the one above the shackles broke. I grinned at the gap. Gaps were lovely things.

Click.

_Bugger._

Someone was coming. I ducked down and hid in the shadows hoping that it wasn't one of Norrington's pets come to sniff me out. Someone who looked barely older than a teenager came in. Surely he wouldn't try to pass himself of as a man. He rushed over to calm the donkey and looked around. I ducked down further incase the boy was a snitch. He then looked at the blacksmith and gave a sort of half-laugh. "Right where I left you," he said to him.

_He's asleep, he can't hear you. So the boy talks to himself… clearly a nutter._

I rolled my eyes and then I saw him frown and his brown eyes clouded with confusion. He'd seen my hat. "Not where I left you," he told it. _I think it knows that. _He reached out to pick it up and I brought the flat of my sword down on the back of his hand and gave him a slap with it.

_Step away from the hat, whelk._

He followed the line of my sword to look me square in the face. It was only when he did so that I knew I didn't know why I knew I knew him, if you know what I mean. His face seemed like one I had met before, but where…? He said something, but I didn't really listen I was too busy trying to decide whether it was because I had met him before or because I had met someone with an equally stupid haircut and face. He finished talking to me in a voice I sort of knew I knew and I decided to ask him why I knew him, "You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?"

**"**I make a point of avoiding familiarity with pirates," he said snootily.

_Obviously not then._

He seemed harmless enough. Harmless enough for me to put my sword back in its sheath. The boy didn't have the guts to stop me leaving. "Ah, well, then it would be a shame to put a black mark on your record. So, if you'll excuse me…" I turned away, but I heard the sound of him picking up his own sword. I looked back at him, "Do you think this wise, boy? Crossing blades with a pirate?"

He looked decidedly cross. "You threatened Miss Swann."

I slid my blade down his and back up again, reading from his face that he may have a softer than soft spot for Miss Swann, but couldn't get on a first-name basis with her. Then again, some of these people were married and still not on a first-name basis. And they say a pirate's life was a shambles? "Only a little." I told him to reassure he undoubtedly shamefully clean thoughts about Miss Swann. This only served to heighten the tension between us and he moved his sword I blocked and swiped for him too. It was a blow that he blocked. Not too bad, "You know what you're doing. I'll give you that. Excellent form. But how's your footwork? If I step here," I stepped to one side and praised him for following exactly as he should. I did it again and nodded to him. He was good, but this fight was over. I was exactly where I wanted to be, by the door. I then thanked him and sheathed my sword. I turned to the door. Something flew through the air whistling past my ear. There was a bang as it got lodged in the door in front of me. The hilt of the boy's sword wobbled in the air, taunting me. I tried to pull his sword out, but it wouldn't budge and neither would the door. _Stupid bugger._ I took a therapeutic deep breath to stop me from shooting him dead right there and then. I turned back to him when I was sufficiently calmed by there being another door. "That is a wonderful trick," I told him, "except, once again you are between me and my way out. And now you have no weapon." I unsheathed my sword again and smiled at the knowledge that he was done for. He reached over to the side and produced another sword. For a second I thought he had produced it from nowhere like some kind of magic man, but then I saw that the room was full of them. Why would one person need so many and why were they all here? I glanced at them pointedly as he attempted to fight me. "Who makes all these?"

"I do!" he said proudly. _Might have guessed. _His was still fresh from the fire and as the red hot metal of his hit the cold of mine sparks flew around the workshop. Real sparks not metaphorical sparks before you get any ideas."And I practice with them three hours a day!"

_Three hours? What a sad little life he must lead._ "You need to find yourself a girl, mate," I said truthfully. That's the trouble with honesty, it gets people angry and when you're fighting them it makes them all the more determined to kill you. "Or perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you already found one and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet." His eyes were burning with anger now. I guessed I was right. Unless, of course, he was lacking in the trouser department and that's why she wasn't interested. He didn't seem to be the most masculine of men. In short it he was a bit of a drip, so it wouldn't surprise me if he was….erm… trouser department-less. I glanced down there. "You're not a eunuch are you?"

His upper lip curled in anger. Must have struck a nerve. "I practice three hours a day so that when I meet a pirate, I can kill it!" he said fiercely. _Makes sense I suppose. _

He lunged for me again and I jumped up onto a cart. He was so rubbish and heavy footed with his fighting that it broke loose and swayed about beneath us. The boy caught me off-guard and managed to pin my left hand to one of the wooden beams on the ceiling. I swiped for him a few times before hitting a loose board on the cart which sent him tumbling off. While he was temporarily out of my way I swung my feet up and pushed them against the wood. The sword dropped free and I dropped with it. I got up as quickly as possible and looked around for the whelp who was nowhere to be seen. I glanced around and saw him hanging from the rafters. _How did you do that and more importantly… why? Stupid boy. _I soon found out how when he cut free a sand bag which came crashing down on the other end of the cart. It sent my flying through the air, which I was officially annoyed by, but secretly found quite fun. I hoisted myself up to face him. He jumped to the beam opposite me in order to resume the fight, so naturally I jumped to the other one. _Ha ha, too clever for you. _He jumped to my beam and so I jumped to the other one. _Ha! _I saw him get ready to jump again so I did it too. I glanced at him to find he was on my beam. _Ooops… How did that happen? _He went for me again and we fought in the rafters. He knocked the sword from my hand and I swung down again, knowing he wouldn't be far behind me I grabbed a sandbag and emptied the content into his eyes. As he moved to protect them I pulled out my pistol. He looked outraged. "You cheated!" he sounded disappointed. _Yeah, and…?_

"Pirate," I reminded him in case he'd forgotten what his justification for trying to kill me was in the first place. Not that there was justification for such a thing. Why try and kill perfection? I heard shouts from outside and the door began to shake on its hinges. The boy's lodged sword had actually been useful to me after all. He moved to block the other door. I kept my pistol trained on him. "Move!"

"No," he stayed there stubbornly, still holding his sword as if that would offer him and protection. He was such a pathetic sand-covered sight. I didn't want to shoot him. Not now. Not after I'd kept this shot for so long.

"Please move."

**"**No! I cannot just step aside and let you escape," he seemed determined to stay righteous. My finger tensed on the trigger, but refused to pull it.

"This shot is not meant for you," I hated how pleading I sounded. I hated that I had to plead with someone who should have been begging _me_ not to shoot him. I had to shoot him. I couldn't get caught by Norrington or I'd never have the chance to shoot the one person who should be shot. But if I shot the boy I couldn't shoot the man I'd originally intended to shoot in the first place because I wouldn't have that bullet left. And it had to be _this _bullet. It couldn't be any other.

Something very hard smashed into my head and glass broke around me. The room began to sway and I knew I'd not be able to stay conscious. The fickle Lady Luck had turned against me yet again… probably because I hadn't got her a present yet.

_I haven't had time to get it you moody cow!_


	5. Two Mouldy Old Bones

_Why do I always wake-up with a sore head?_

It wasn't even the good kind that tells you that even though your brain is quite clearly about to come spurting out of your nose at least you had one last good time with it before it does. It was the kind you get after being hit on the head after an impressive life-or-death struggle with a eunuch in a blacksmith (which you were, naturally, winning). Thank God it was dark. There is nothing worse that waking up with a headache in broad daylight because than you get eye-ache too. And that is one of the worst kinds of aches there is. The problem is that I am more used to waking up with a good kind of headache caused by rum for which the cure, of course, is to drink more rum. Rum cures all, you mark my words. Unfortunately, I'm not too sure if it cures the second kind of headache and you can thank Norrington for that as he refuses to keep even a drop of the stuff in his poxy little jail cells.

He must think I smell because he kept me in a cell all on my own. He's the one that smells. Or maybe he thought I was just far too special to be sharing with common thieves. They were stupid common thieves at that. As I sat plotting a way to escape in the most dramatic way possible, they were all shouting through the bars to a small dog that held the keys in its mouth. It says a lot about Port Royal that the smartest, most trustworthy person they could find to hold a set of keys was a scruffy little dog. Their pleading calls were amusing at first, but it soon became annoying when the sound cut through my vision of dressing up as Norrington and being carried out of the town by the cheering people of Port Royal who made me their King as the real Norrington was left to meet my fate. I knew there was flaws in that plan as anyone stupid enough to cheer for Norrington was clearly too mad to be allowed out of their house, but still, it was a fun plan. The whistling bounced up and down on my last nerve and I turned to the idiots. Even the slightly less goon-ish people in Port Royal couldn't break out of jail properly.

"You can keep doing that all you want, but that dog is _never _going to move," I told them. They all looked at me with wide eyes. _Yes, I know I'm handsome... what's your point?_

One of them apparently didn't agree with me. He looked at me in almost the same way Norrington did. _Goon. _"Excuse me, if we haven't resigned ourselves to the gallows just yet."

_You're excused. _They went back to what they were doing and so did I. I couldn't help but smile at their stupidity.

_Amateurs..._

***

So, now as well as the cheering people that had made me King of, not just Port Royal, not just England, but the entire _world_ had got me back a certain ship as a present for being so amazing and they had made a certain ship-stealing, treacherous, disloyal, dishonest, ugly man with yellow eyeballs serve my every need. It was a lovely dream, but given the lateness of the hour I would probably have to come up with something a bit more... well.... _more. _Gunfire sounded in my head and I wondered why. I knew the sound so well and exactly which ship had fired them, but this way my daydream and I had not ordered them to be fired. So why could I still hear them? Unless...

My eyes snapped open and flew to the window. In the other cell they had all crowded round their window. The sound continued. I sprang to my feet. I had never heard a more beautiful sound in my entire life. "I know those guns," I grinned on the inside as well as the outside and my next words made me almost delirious. "It's the _Pearl_!"

I felt myself shudder with sheer joy and those around me shuddered too, but for an entirely different reason. "The _Black Pearl,_" one of them said as if it was a bad thing. "I've heard stories." I turned my head, _this should be good. _"She's been praying on ships and settlements for near ten years, never leaves any survivors."

_Utterly ridiculous twaddle-speak that could only have twaddled its way out of one man's speak hole. Under her current Captain I doubted she could do anything as brilliant as that. His first name is Hector for God's sake! No self-respecting pirate is called Hector! No brilliant ones anyway... A brilliant ship needs someone brilliant at the helm. Someone more... me-like._

"No survivors, eh? Then where do the stories come from I wonder?" That got him. His eyebrows joined in a frown and he puzzled over the new idea that Captain Barbossa may not be quite so bloody marvellous and threatening as he made himself out to be. _Honestly, big-headed and vain people can be so misleading in the lies they tell..._

My eyes were drawn back to the flash of cannon-fire. It was really the only way that you could tell the _Pearl _was even there. The entire ship was so gloriously black it made all other shades of black look grey in comparison, even her sails were black and she blended in beautifully with the night. Every time a bright flash lit up the dark shape of the _Pearl _another building in Port Royale would catch fire or crumble away. Cannon-fire sounded different coming from those guns, it was more dangerous, more powerful and so much better. The only thing wrong with what I was seeing was that I was seeing it from the wrong angle. I shouldn't have been the one on this end of the cannon fire. I should have been the one firing.

A particularly bright flash gave me about ten seconds of warning for me to throw myself to the ground before the jail was shaken to its very foundations. As I bashed against the ground I smiled at my change of luck and the thought of Barbossa's face if he'd known that he may have just aided my escape from jail. The second the jail stopped shaking I scrambled to my feet and then my heart sank. As I had suspected, he had blown a giant whole in the side of the jail, but I had not anticipated that it would be remarkable unbeneficial to me. The amateurs in the next cell were whooping with delight and scrambled out of the whole like monkeys. The last one to go looked at me, "My sympathies fried, you've not matter of luck at all."

I watched them go, running down the slope still cheering at their fortunate escape. There was a tiny fraction of the whole hole that was just wide enough for my face to rest against the edge and stare out at other men's freedoms. How typical of Barbossa to only let me smell and see what should be mine without having to give it to me. The shouts of my jail mates faded away prematurely as they were swallowed by yet more cannon fire. Unfortunately, it looked like as if Barbossa had turned the guns elsewhere and there was little chance of lightening striking twice in the same place (except this time a little more to the left...). The jail was quiet without the jabbering goons in the other cell and I found myself missing their jabbering goonishness. I was the only living thing in this hell-hole.

_Not quite._

Something shuffled and then whimpered and I remembered the dog. It cowered under a bench a little further along the jail I could almost smell my freedom now. Then again, maybe it was other people's freedoms I could smell. Or that mouldy old bone on the floor.

_Perfect! I love mouldy old bones and one day I shall keep one as a pet!_

I crawled over to the bone, reached through the bars and picked it up. It was all shiny and surprisingly smooth. _Maybe it was a bit creepy to keep as a pet... I may have to re-think it. _I whistled and wiggled it around in a tempting manner. I know a lot about being tempting, so I was naturally very good at it. The dog whimpered under his bench. I called again and he poked his head out. "Come on," I called to him. "It's just you and me now. Just you and old Jack."

_You know your life's taken a wrong turn onto a Norrington-filled path when you find yourself holding a mouldy old bone and talking to a dog... I bet his best friend's a dog. He's a dog... No he's not. I like dogs._

The dog inched closer to me, getting up onto his feet and padding slowly across the dusty floor. I urged him on. _Stupid thing. _He was almost close enough for me to reach out and touch. Almost, but not quite yet... I should explain that I have a gift with animals, as I do with most things, like women for example, which is why I thought I was safe saying what it did next. "Come here you filthy, slimy, mangy cat!"

_Bugger..._

It turns out that dogs, and some women (who probably are dogs), can resist my gifts when I say the wrong thing... It's a bugger when that happens. Maybe if I got the dog drunk...? It whimpered and ran away from me. I reached out in a desperate attempt to grab it where it was, but the stubborn thing would not accept my apology. _How bloody rude!_

Then I heard a massive clang and a few shouts. A body fell down the stairs. One of Norrington's followers. Two men came down after it. Two men I knew. My stomach clenched with hate. The smaller one looked around him. "This aint the armoury!" he shouted. _Well noticed. _The taller one had seen me. I got to my feet. If only I had something to kill them with. Maybe I should just punch them. He sauntered over to me.

"Well, well," he sounded like he was enjoying it a little too much. One day I'd make him pay for that. One day soon. "Look what we have here Twiggy."

_Twiggy? Stupid name, get a real one. Never liked it... or you._

"Captain Jack Sparra," the taller one snarled. _It's Sparr__**ow **__actually. Learn to speak then get back to me. _He spat at me as if he'd heard my thoughts. _Disgusting manners. Never liked you either._

Twiggy-with-the-stupid-name-and-stupider-face was grinning like a stupid person. "The last time I saw you," My stomach clenched tighter. It was getting uncomfortable, a pain rum couldn't fix... God knows it had tried... I knew where this was going. _I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you... _"You were all alone, on a godforsaken island... shrinking into the distance." He looked to his friend and laughed, "His fortunes aren't improved much."

_I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you..._

"Worry about your own fortunes, gentleman. The deepest circle of hell is reserved for betrayers and _mutineers_." It was hard to keep my voice level and quiet. The taller one shot his hand through the bars and grabbed me by the neck. _I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.... _

_Ooh..._

I stared at his hand in the moonlight. For a moment I didn't know what to say. This was almost too perfect to be true... "So there is a curse? That's interesting."

My highly intellectual mind was working overtime. His grip tightened momentarily. "You know nothing of hell," he warned, his voice a low whisper. He let go, pushing me back. He and the other idiot turned and left the jail. I watched them go, but the hate was less intense now there had been a new development.

"That's very interesting," I muttered aloud, going over what I had seen his hand to be like in the moonlight and the moonlight alone. I was checking that I had been right. I'm not mad and I know what I saw. The stories were true.

_His hand had been a mouldy old bone..._


	6. The Return of Eunuch and Drowned Girl

**Hey, I couldn't sleep last night and I was kinda on a roll, so here's another.**

**LV  
XX  
**

* * *

One day someone came up with a stupid idea to make locks on jail cells unable to be picked. I really don't see why. The fact that it would stop prisoners escaping is irrelevant. If you don't want prisoners to escape then don't imprison anyone. That way there will be no prisoners _to _escape. Unless someone really deserves to be imprisoned, let's say... for example, if they stole your ship. Then you could imprison them and punish them in any of the two-hundred and fifty-seven ways I have listed. I would be a great King of the World. Shame no-one can see my potential...

So, where was I? Oh, yes, lock picking... I was using a bit of the mouldy old bone to pick the lock of my cell. No matter how much I twisted and turned it and rammed it in, I never heard that click telling you that it can be opened now. _Bloody thing. I hate doors and they hate me. If there was no door there would be no lock and so there would be no need for all of this..._

A clang made me stop and jump back. Now it was daylight it was entirely possible that Norrington had decided it was time for me to meet the Hangman. I'd met him before... we hadn't got on. I lay down, hoping that if they thought I was sleeping then they wouldn't bother trying to hang me and maybe leave the keys in a helpful place... like in my cell. Or in the lock... I closed my eyes and hoped.

"You!" a man shouted. _How rude! I have a name, you know! _" Sparrow!" _Better..._

"Eh?" I grunted, sitting up. I knew it had been a voice I sort of knew. It was the eunuch... and he'd brought Drowned Girl with him... how nice. It was like a party down here. Maybe Drowned Girl was the strumpet he had been failing to woo and now he'd come down here to show her the pirate he'd helped capture. _Trust me, mate, it won't help, you're a eunuch. No girl will marry a eunuch, no matter how drowned she is. And anyway...I shall deny it. Say you cheated and have no trouser-department, because you did and you don't._

"You are familiar with the _Black Pearl_?" the eunuch cut straight to the point. _What a rubbish party this was turning out to be. And if this is you showing off to Drowned Girl, you're crap. Not that she'll like you anyway... you're a eunuch. No wonder she tried to drown herself if this is your idea of wooing!_

"I've heard of it," I said, as flippantly as I could. I was good at being flippant. Flippancy... one of my many talents. Eunuch Boy then went on to ask the most stupid question I've ever heard anyone ask ever... and I've once heard a child ask what the point of rum was, so I've heard my share of stupid questions. I thought at first that he might be joking, but one look at his blank, stupid face told me that he didn't have the wits to crack any kind of joke. He really didn't know where the _Pearl _made berth. Neither he nor Drowned Girl had heard the stories, trust me, I asked. _What __**do **__they teach people in this place? _I filled them in on the Isla de Meurta, but as I could have guessed, they didn't believe me. People like them don't like things that can't be explained. Like islands that cannot be found unless you already know where they are.

Eunuch got annoyed with me over this. _Why does nobody ever believe me when I'm telling the truth? _"The ship is real enough; therefore it must set sail from a real place...So where is it?" he sounded like he had been angry and tense for a long time. Probably his whole life, given that he was a eunuch.

"What makes you so certain that I know?" I said, now that they had made it obvious that they were too stupid to recognise the truth when they heard it.

"You're a pirate," Eunuch stated. _Nicely observed... That's always what it comes down to, my being a pirate. They never actually admit that it's because I'm the smartest person they have ever met and I know everything._

"And you want to turn profit by becoming pirates yourselves, is that it?" I looked at them both. Hard to imagine, but still possible.

"No! Never!" Eunuch slammed his fists into the bars. _Calm down, whelp. _There was something about his face that was annoying me. Not just because of how ugly and stupid it was, but something else too... "They took Miss Swann," he interrupted my thoughts with a useful bit of information.

"Ahh, so it_ is_ that you've found a girl." _I knew I was right, I always was. I had forgotten your previous mention of 'Miss Swann'. So, it isn't Drowned Girl, but Drowned Girl's friend you're after... interesting. Doesn't make a difference though, you're still a eunuch..._ "But I'm afraid you're going to have to go it alone, I see no profit in it for me."

"We can get you out of here," Drowned Girl suddenly piped up. _She's looking decidedly less drowned today..._

"How's that? The keys ran off," I informed her. _Were they really offering to help me?_

She smiled at me. First time either of them had done that. She looked more relaxed without Norrington around. "They do that a lot," she said. I laughed. _What do you know? Someone here has a fractional sense of humour. And it's Drowned Girl... who'd have thought it?_

Eunuch Boy was looking intently at the door. _Maybe he'd decided the door was the one for him, not Miss Swann. Just as well, given that you're a eunuch._ "I helped build these cells." _Did you now? Well you may be of some use after all._ "These a half pin barrel hinges." _I don't care. _"If I apply the right amount of force the door will lift free."

_Useful, thanks for that._

I studied him. What was it about that face? Besides its ugliness and stupidity, which I have to admit, was getting less and less the more he spoke. (The stupidity, that is, not the ugliness) "What's your name, lad?"

"Will Turner."

_Ooh._

"That would be short for William I presume," I said, even though I didn't presume, I knew. "Good, strong name, no doubt the name for your father, eh?"

He looked suspiciously confused. Maybe it hadn't been such a sly hint after all. He studied me. "Yes," he said slowly. Both of them looked suspicious now. _Bugger, time for a change of subject._

"Tell you what," I stood up, "I've changed me mind. If you spring me from this cell, I swear on pain of death I will take you to the Black Pearl and your bonny lass. Do we have an accord?"

I stuck out my hand for Master Turner. He looked at it with distaste. _It's alright... it's not Norrington's hand... no diseases. _He took it and we shook on my release. Freedom was now guaranteed. Turner grabbed a bench and flipped it the wrong way round and using it as a lever to lift the door clean off its hinges.

"Hurry," he said. "Someone will have heard that." _Well, it was you who made all the noise._As I picked my belongings up from the other bench Turner turned to Drowned Girl and dismissed her like she were a slave, "Alright Isabel, you can leave now."

"What!?" her voice rose in anger.

_Bad eunuch..._

"That's not very nice." I told him. Drowned Girl, or the less descriptive "Isabel" as she was apparently more commonly known, glanced at me. The support of a man was probably not something that happened very often.

"I don't need you anymore, go home," he told her. _Ruder by the minute... if you weren't useful in my plans I'd say I was leaving you here and just taking Drowned Girl, so there!_

"No! Why can't I come too? I'll be more useful than you!" She leapt to her own defence without hesitating. Clearly something she was practised in. She must live with Norrington, or someone equally difficult, if she was this used to putting up a fight. My mind turned to the events at the docks and how she had clearly meant something to Commodore Goon? Could she be Mrs Goon? Although, she looked a bit like him, so maybe they were related? Then again, even if they were, Goons had habits of marrying their own cousins just to keep the family name. _Disgusting... no wonder some of them are so ugly and stupid... inbreeding._

"But we-"

"If may interrupt with my professional opinion," I said loudly to put a halt to all this nonsense. "You two are wasting a lot of time and Ms Norrington-" nobody corrected me, so one of my theories was right "-could be useful, as we have a distinct lack of crew members, plus she is willing to come and as she seems like a feisty one I would advise you not to disagree with her, I'm pretty sure she could win this argument."

It was true -angry woman versus whelp- angry woman wins every time. Angry woman win most things. I should know. "Fine then," William was not a happy eunuch, but angry eunuchs win nothing either. "We'd better get a move on."

He stormed away in an angry whelp-ish way. I glanced at Drowned Girl. She smiled again, "Thank you." She said it in a whisper, but she said it nonetheless. I didn't think posh people knew how to thank people- a phrase too common to enter their vocabulary. Along with "please".


	7. Steal is Such and Ugly Word

I looked at the two ships, weighing up my options. I thought I knew what I wanted to know, but it was probably best to check. I wouldn't ask eunuch, he was clearly an idiot. Drowned Girl… would she know?

_Better not call her Drowned Girl to her face… might not go down so well. _

She seemed less of an idiot that eunuch, _but _she was a Norrington… No, better ask her, see if she'd picked up anything useful from her time with Commodore Goon… But was she Miss Goon, or Mrs Goon? Hmm, if I said it really quickly she might not notice if I'd got it wrong… or, Isabel? Was that what Eunuch had called her? Maybe that wasn't the best option either. The upper-class has issues with using first names. No wonder, some of them are ridiculous. I met someone called Fitzwilliam once… bit cruel. Better stick with Ms Norrington since she'd answered to that before.  
"Ms Norrington." She looked at me. No corrections. _Of course there weren't any, you can't correct a person who's always right. _"What can you tell me about the Dauntless and the Interceptor?"

She reeled something off, she sounded bored which was amusing. She looked bored too, more than bored. It was sort of like… if you made her say it again she'd throw a chair at your face. I was so amused at the thought of Drowned Girl swinging chairs at people I forgot to correct her when she said that the Interceptor was the fastest ship in the Caribbean. A lie fed to her by Norrington to boost his goon-ish ego. The prig.

"I could have told you that." Will piped up._ Oh, hello. Thought we'd got you to shut up for a bit… apparently not.  
_

"Well, I thought that being a Norrington, she would know more than you… and I was right, now shut up." _Ha! Put that in your eunuch-y, metaphorical pipe and hypothetically smoke it! _Unfortunately for me, William Eunuch Turner the Second did not fully understand the concept of shutting up. There was a momentary silence, more a pause than anything else before he piped up again with a ridiculous question about which ship we were going to steal.

_Steal is such an ugly word… like Will, he's such an ugly man. It is the Will Turner of words. It's probably a eunuch and all._

"_Commandeer_," I corrected him, "nautical term. We're going to _commandeer _that ship." I indicated towards the Interceptor before turning to William, "One question about your business boy, else there's no point in going in. This girl; how far are you willing to go to save her?"

"I would die for her!"

_Idiot. _

"Oh good," I smiled. _I love doing deals with idiots. _Before he could change his mind, or thing about what I had said. I turned away from them and beckoned them to follow me on my sneaky sneaking over to someone else's dingy. When I motioned for them to get underneath they hesitated. Will looked suspicious while Drowned Girl was more… intrigued. I explained my fool proof plan in a fool-friendly way, but Turner was still confused. There really was very little hope for him functioning in the world of clever, normal people with fully-fledged trouser departments when he was such a foolish, eunuch with no trouser department at all. It really was very simple, just walk along underwater for a few minutes. Nothing difficult about that, is there? Well, naturally he was busy thinking about how we would breathe. _What do you think the upturned boat is for you goon? It's for an air-bubble, not just because I think the three of us look good with a dingy on our heads._

Once I'd finally got it sorted in his head I lead them down the beach and into the sea. Once underwater, the silence was a bit awkward. What do you say to two people you don't really like when you're all sharing an upturned boat under the sea?

"This is brilliant!" Drowned Girl piped up behind me, sounding more excited by what we were doing than would be deemed normal. _Clearly, she is a little bit of a nutter._

"This is madness." Will's grumbling tones made me want to hit him.

"Remarkable how often those two traits coincide." I muttered, thinking of them and how he was brilliantly stupid and she was madness in a dress. With a great deal of concentration I managed to navigate us to the underbelly of the _Dauntless. _And instructed them to float upwards with me. This was it; this would be the test of how useful they would be to me. Time to see if they had what it takes. Not that I could really fire them if they didn't, they were my only crew. I swung onto the deck. They scrambled up in a rather undignified manner, but they managed it. I clocked the crew, Gillette had his back to me. The temptation to shoot him there and then was unbearable. But just as that shot had not been meant for William Turner, it was not meant for Norrington's pet Gillette. But they didn't need to know that. I drew my pistol. "Everybody stay clam!" I shouted. "We are taking over the ship!"

"Aye… avast!"  
_Not smooth, eunuch._

They laughed at us… can't say I blame them. I would have laughed at us too, if I weren't one of 'us'. Gillette looked all smug and smarmy, like he had us beaten already. My rule about not shooting him was looking increasingly flexible. He came up with some utter rubbish about there not being enough of us to be successful in our mission. Clearly, they all needed reminded of something.

"Gentlemen, who am I?" I smiled in my usual charming way. They all looked confused, it was an easy enough question, but they didn't answer. "I'm Captain Jack Sparrow."

_Why does nobody ever get that?_  
It was a miracle they found enough brainpower to follow my orders and climb into one of their lifeboats. I stopped the last one and looked him up and down. He was positively sweating with fear. Disgusting. He'd be stinking by the time he got back to Port Royale. "Sword." I said.

He stared at me like a confused codfish. "W-w-what?" he stammered. _He does look like a bit like a fish… he has the mouth._

"Your sword. Give me your sword." He did as he was told, annoyingly slowly and with shaking hands. He handed it over and then, rather pale and still quite shaky, he lowered himself into the dingy to join the others. I handed his sword over to Drowned Girl. She looked a bit startled.

I winked at her. "Wouldn't want you to go unarmed, love, apologies for the quality, but what can you expect from the King's navy, eh?"

_Take that Gillette, that'll teach you to forget my name!_

"Erm… thanks." She said. I almost laughed at how thrown she had been by it. I could imagine her inner turmoil at not wanting to forget her manners on receiving something that was a kind of gift, but morally unable wanting to condemn stealing. Phase Two of my characteristically brilliant plan was put into action and then it was just a matter of waiting for Commodore Goon to get a move on. I hoped we wouldn't be here all day. Young William was on lookout for him and I didn't want him to have become Old William by the time he got here. Drowned Girl was looking at the sword I'd given her. I watched her clip the holster round her waist before approaching her. Out of the two of them, she seemed the most agreeable and if I could get through to her, William might begin to trust me more. Which was exactly what I needed.

"Isabel," I tested out her actual name. Her brow furrowed, I went on before she could correct me. "Can I call you that? Isabel? Or do I have to continue calling you Ms Norrington until the day I die?" I saw her hesitate and saw my opportunity. It hadn't been an outright refusal, so I was in with a chance. "I'll help you with this difficult decision; I'm going to call you Isabel anyway."

To my surprise, she half-smiled at my insolence. I think it surprised her too, but she agreed to it. I told her to call me Jack in return, she nodded but there was no guarantee that she would. She looked a bit awkward and started chewing on her lip. I think I made her a little uncomfortable. It was fun. Then I remember what I'd been meaning to ask, "Isabel, what relation are you to the Commodore?"

Not that it really mattered now that I could relax about what to call her. Still, it was good to know. It could come in handy. "I'm his sister," she replied. _Brilliant_. It made me happier than it should have but I didn't really realise that I was smiling until she gave me an odd look. "What?"

_It's just good to know an idiot like Norrington's not with a good-looking girl when he deserves someone who's either part or entirely troll. _

"I thought you were married to him!" I smiled. She looked like she was about to be sick. I laughed. "Alright, I'll take that as a no."

_Even the Commodore's own flesh and blood thinks he's sickeningly ugly._

"Jack!" William's dullest tones brought me out of my amusement. "They're catching up."

_Oooh, that is good news._

I took them to hide and listened to the Commodore's barked orders as he drew up alongside us in the _Interceptor_. Lines of Redcoats swung over onto the _Dauntless. _I handed Will and Isabel a rope each. They both look amusingly frightened by them. Isabel squeezed her eyes pretty tightly shut for most of her journey swinging across. I was pleased she didn't do any screaming. Screaming is not smooth. When we landed I scanned the deck. There was one solitary man left. I walked over to him immediately, asking if he could swim. He had fear in his eyes, knowing that there was one of him and three of us. I liked it when people had fear in their eyes when looking at me.

"Like a fish…" he promised, in answer to my question.

I smiled. He looked hopeful. _Don't do that. I'm not taking you with me, you junior-goon. _I pushed him overboard. The splash was beautiful. I like splashes… as long as they're not made be me. Unfortunately, I didn't have very much time to listen to it. The Interceptor was already ready to set sail but the ties between her and the Dauntless had to be cut as soon and quickly as possible. I wondered how long it would take Commodore Goon to realise we were missing. I hoped it wouldn't be too long; I wanted him to be close enough for me to see his stupid, ugly face.  
_Aha._

There it was… that wonderful angry shout that means he's gone very red and I'm getting away with something brilliant. I turned to him, giving him my best smile. Which was hard, I have so many good ones. "Thank you for getting us ready to set sail; we'd have had a hard time of it by ourselves."

He looked alarmed. "Isabel!" he shouted. _Hahahahahaha._ "Isabel! What are you doing?"

I saw Isabel tense up. She was standing in front of me and her fists clenched. _Oh… this was going to be brilliant fun.  
_

I put my arm around her waist. She jumped slightly as she'd not been expecting it, but she didn't move away and she didn't slap me. _Nice, makes a change. _She did, however, look completely confused and a little bit scared. I smiled at her and pulled her close. Her eyes widened. I looked at her brother with my very best 'I-might-just-kiss-your-sister smile'. It had the desired effect. After a moment Isabel started to laugh. _Wow, there really is such thing as a Norrington with a sense of humour… she has an odd laugh though…. _ She was smiling with a spark of childish amusement about her.

"Don't worry Commodore; I'll bring her back in one piece," I laughed, not actually sure myself whether I was referring to Isabel or the ship.

_Perhaps it's best to stay ambiguous, and then you can't be held to either promise._


	8. Drowned Girl's Theaving Little Secret

**I know it's taken me a while, but On Stranger Tides is my priority untill it's finished and I've got exams on (as I'm sure do most of you). So pease bare with me. I'll get cracking when they're done. :)**

LV  
XX  


* * *

"When will we be in Tortuga?" Isabel called over to me, leaning one hand on the rail and pushing her hair out of her face with the other.

"Should be by nightfall," I replied and her smile made me smile. _That's an odd thing about smiles… they're as catchable as a plague._

"Good." she said. "Where do we go from there?"

_My, my… someone's getting a bit nosy. Do we tell her? Might as well, Drowned Girl looks like the sort that might pinch if I withheld information. I do not much care for being pinched. _I eyed her nails worriedly. They looked a tad sharp for my taste."We pick up a crew and head to the Isla de Meurta; we could have your Elizabeth back within the week."

The answer seemingly satisfied her. She was in a good mood. I could play on this. _Time to make a move Jack-y. _"Isabel," I said slowly, easing myself in. Her eyebrow rose._ Honestly… some people could be so suspicious. _

"Yes?" she said equally as slowly and with an undeserving air of mistrust towards me.

"Where did you get that medallion?" She turned away from me. I tried to read her expression but her hair was shielding her face. Didn't matter, I could see right through it to what I knew I already knew. Her pretend oblivious to my question was more obvious than Eunuch's eunuch-ness. She was apparently faking deafness. It's very rude to pretend to be handicapped. If it continued I would point it out to her. "Isabel, love?"

"I can't tell you," she said. _Ah, so you did hear me… naughty little drowned girl._

"Can't or don't want to?" I smiled.

"Both, so please drop it," she snapped. Seemingly this was one occasion where smiles were not plague-like. This was odd because I happen to have it on good authority that my smile is highly charming and contagious.

_Time to change tactics methinks. _

"If I guess, will you tell me?" I asked. I paused, but there was no response, as expected. "You stole it."

I reached out quickly and stopped her hair from hiding her face so that I could see her immediate reaction. _Hahahahahahahah. Gotcha! _She had 'guilty' written all over her face. Not literally, you understand. If people literally had 'guilty' written on their faces when they'd done something there would be very few people left that weren't either hung, in jail or murdered. I'd have been dead by the age of three… possibly before that but I can't quite remember that far back… I put my hand under her chin and tilted her face up towards mine. Guilt suited her, brought a bit of colour to her cheeks. Or maybe she was blushing because I was laughing at her. I was as triumphant as… as a very triumphant person. "And you stole it from William."

_I'm on top form today! Not that I'm ever anything else._

Her eyes widened, her voice was just a whisper, "How did you know that?" I loved how jumpy people got when their dirty secrets were coming out for all to see. _Not that this is particularly dirty… it's not like she- Stop it, you're getting off topic._

"Lucky guess," I shrugged, toying with her. _I'm good at toying with people. I'm like the master of toying. _She heaved a sigh, looking a little worried. _This is fun. _"And I'm going to make another one; Elizabeth now has it."

Her silence spoke volumes. I'd never quite understood that expression until now. But there she was, standing in front of me with the answer as plain as day. She was easy to read. _Time to make an annoyingly smug exit_…

She called after me, "How did you know all that? And if you say it was a 'lucky guess' I'll punch you."

I wouldn't have stopped if it hadn't been for the last bit. It was the last bit that made her more interesting than, say, Will. He was as dull as a rainy day in England. This is all grey, in case you haven't seen it. Isabel wasn't really grey. She was a little. I thought she'd been to start with but comments like that were bringing her out of the grey zone, "That's not very ladylike, but I bet you punch like a girl!"

_It's funny cause you are a girl._

She didn't find this quite as funny as it was. "Jack!" she glared at me.

I grinned right back at her, "Not telling, you'll have to hope your guesses are a lucky as mine."

_Hahahahahahah-_

"That's why they took Elizabeth as their only hostage."

_-Damn._

"Yes, very good, love." I expected a reaction from her. Perhaps a degree of the same smugness I had displayed or at least a bit of scolding at the sheer cheek and rudeness of calling her 'love'. But she just turned away from me, her face set, her eyes clouded over and her teeth gnawing on her bottom lip. I sighed. Some people cared too much. "Isabel," I called before I'd really meant to. She turned, still looking troubled. "It's not you're fault, love. If she hadn't had that medallion she probably wouldn't be alive. They'd have shot her immediately." She nodded but her guilt-clouded eyes didn't clear. I sighed, "And I won't tell William if that's what you want."

She brightened slightly, "Please don't. We did it for the right reasons, we thought-"

"Save your breath, love, I don't need to hear reasons, I'm sure yours are better than any of mine." I winked at her.

"Can you tell me why?"

"No, I'm afraid you just going to have to trust me."

_Here it comes, the outrage at the very thought of trusting a pirate, the scorn. _

It never came. She just nodded, "Alright."

_Well, well, aren't you just full of surprises you little non-grey thing._


	9. The Life Story of a Eunuch

_I don't care. _

_I don't care. _

_I don't care about your life Eunuch! Stop talking about you and your eunuch past… I know why you're doing it and I don't care. Just get to the point, lad. _"After my mother died I came out here, looking for my father, William Turner," Eunuch finally got round to saying what it was he'd be wanting to say for however long it was he had been wanting to say it. It had felt like about ten years. Hopefully it wasn't, that would have been a colossal waste of my time.

_Time to act nonchalant… _

"Is that so?" I said lightly.

_I can be just as annoying as you, Eunuch Boy. Although not as ugly._

"In the jail, it was only after you learnt my name that you agreed to help us, as that's what I wanted I didn't press the matter. I am not a simpleton, Jack." _Yes. Yes you are. That is exactly what you are. You are a simple, simple simpleton. With not one tiny hint of a department in your trousers._ I raised my eyebrow at Isabel to show her exactly how I was feeling about William's misguided comment. I saw her smile. It was nice to see that Drowned Girl was upholding her sense of humour. Something her Eunuch friend didn't seem to have, "You knew my father?"

_Time for the truth. I hate this bit. And he's not going to like it either._

"I knew him," I sighed, "Probably one of the only ones who knew him as William Turner, everyone else just called him Bill, or Bootstrap Bill."

"Bootstrap?" William echoed me like a parrot.

"Good man, good pirate. I swear you look just like him."

"My father was not a pirate!" Will was outraged and I heard Isabel's sharp intake of breath, "He was a merchant sailor, a good respectable man who obeyed the law."

_Oh here we go. Nobody's used that story before. _It was laughable how many pirates were believed to be respectable. "He was a bloody pirate and a scallywag."

"That's not true!" I heard him unsheathe his sword. _Calm it. _It may have sounded insulting but I used the word "scallywag" in a loving way. There was no need for him to get his petticoat in a twist. "My father was not a pirate."

_Eunuchs…they're so very, very cross all the time. Must be tiring having no department in your trousers. All that pent-up tension. _"Put it away lad, there's no use you getting beat again."

"You didn't beat me; you ignored the rules of a fair fight. I'd have killed you"

_Oh for- _

"Well, then, that's no reason for me to fight fair now, is it?" In one swift (and naturally brilliant) move I grabbed Isabel and pulled her down while spinning the wheel with my other hand. The boom whistled through the air as the boat turned, it took out William before he had a chance to react and left him dangling over the side all floppy and girly like a ragdoll. I stood up. Isabel was looking tense. I hoped she didn't kill me before I had the chance to sort out her Eunuch friend. That would be unfortunate for everyone involved.

"Jack, what are you doing?" her voice shook a little, but I ignored her for the time being. I pointed Will's own sword at him.

"So long as you're just hanging there, pay attention, the only rules that matter are these; what a man can do and what a man can't do. For instance you can accept that your father was a pirate **and** a good man, or you can't, but pirate's in your blood boy and you're going to have to square with that one day. Now me, I could let you drown, but I can't bring this bloody big ship into Tortuga all by me onesie, savvy?" I paused. William was looking confused. _Nothing confusing about it, lad. _I spun the ship back around and kept the sword trained on William as he landed elegantly on his arse. "So… can you sail under the command of a pirate," I flipped the hilt to face Will, "Or can you not?"

He looked at me with his stupid eyes and grabbed the hilt. "Tortuga?"

_Perhaps you're not as stupid as you look, sound and smell…_

I helped him to his feet.

_Then again… perhaps not._

Tortuga is like a second home. Not just to me, but to anyone who is worth their weight in rum. Which I most certainly am. The best thing about it was it, unlike Port Royal, held no prejudices. Even the two drastically out of place outsiders I had brought with me would be as welcome as I was. I didn't need to look at them, I assumed their expressions would be full of the wonder and delight that Tortuga deserves.

"It is indeed a sad life that has never breathed deep this sweet bouquet that is Tortuga, savvy?" I sighed with an adequate amount of love and bravado. "What do you think?"

I didn't even really have to ask, I knew they'd love it. Who wouldn't? "It'll linger," William answered.

For once I agreed with him. Tortuga is like the sea- completely unforgettable once you've been there. Unlike their hometown. Which was as bland as William's face.

"I tell you, mate, if every town in the world was like this one, no man would ever feel unwanted," and there, right on cue, came a perfect person to prove my point. I adopted my most charming smile to greet her. "Scarlette!"

_She looks a bit cross I wonder what's-_

_**Ouch.**_

She slapped me, turned on her heels and left.

_Rude._

There was an awkwardly stunned silence around me. My check stung a little. "Not sure I deserved that," I said quietly. This was a bit of a lie. I was positive I didn't deserve that, but being the selfless and caring human being that I am, I didn't want Tortuga's resident prostitutes to look like man-slapping whores. That would be slightly misleading. _Oh good_. "Giselle!"

_Good old Giselle will redeem everything that's gone wrong so far. Unless she happened to see me-_

"Who was she?" she asked.

_Bugger, she looks cross. If I look as charming as possible she won't- _

_**Ouch.**_

_Yeah… I saw that one coming._

* * *

**Review please :)**_  
_


	10. Gibbs and Some Pigs in a Shady Alley

_This alley looks a bit shady. I bet they're both thinking this is a bit shady._

I was fairly certain of where I was going. Gibbs could be hard to find, but where there's rum there's Gibbs. Or me. But I wasn't looking for me. I knew exactly where I was. So, to locate Gibbs it was a matter or going from one rum-filled place to another. Will and Isabel looked laughably out of place as I lead them to Gibbs's usual haunt. He wasn't inside but someone muttered something drunkenly about him being round the back. I hoped he didn't mean it in a dead way. We went to check.

_What is that God awful stench? Oh, it's just Gibbs. _

"Aha," I muttered, proud that my brilliance had found him so quickly. He wasn't dead, just lying in pig muck with some pigs. Real pigs… not really ugly people. I wasn't being rude, I genuinely meant of the animal variety. The snoring indicated that he was asleep. I picked up a pale of water and threw it over him. He jumped awake. Immediately angry at life and everything it stood for.

"Curse ye' for breathing ye' slack-jawed idiot!" _Rude. _ Slowly he focused on my handsome features. His anger ebbed away. Obviously. "Mother's love! Jack! You should know better than to wake a man when he's sleeping. It's bad luck."

_Oh Gibbs… such a fool._

"Ah, but fortunately I know how to counter it." I smiled at him. "The man who did the waking does the man who was sleeping a drink. The man who was sleeping drinks the drink while listening to a proposition from the man who did the waking."

I waited while he thought it through painfully slowly. What was so difficult to understand about that? It seemed a perfectly reasonable statement._ I'm offering you a drink, fool._ "Aye," he smiled eventually. "That'll about do it."

I extended my hand to my old friend and helped him to his feet. No sooner had he stepped back than Will stepped forwards and doused him in another bucket of water. _Eunuch… what are you doing? Throwing water at people is not a way of greeting someone. Is that what you thought? You massive idiot. Gibbs won't be happy._

"Blast it I'm already awake!"

_Told you._

"That was for the smell." Will replied.

_Ah... seems reasonable. _

I turned and was about to walk away and back into the tavern when Isabel stepped forward, her eyes were fixed on Gibbs. "Joshamee Gibbs," she murmured. Her voice was soft and quite. I detected a mild hint of affection.

"Miss Norrington?" Gibbs sounded shocked beyond belief.

I didn't like this. It was too unexpected. "Do you two know each other?" I frowned at them both.

"Aye," Gibbs nodded. He and Isabel exchanged tentative smiles. It was bit awkward. "That's James Norrington's sister. I used to be part of his crew. What are you doing here?" Gibbs addressed her but something made me speak first.

"Barbossa and his crew took her friend."

"It was Elizabeth," she added, not wanting to be outdone.

Gibbs's attention was back on me. But not because of how good looking I am. "Barbossa," he repeated, looking at me with shock and disbelief. I just nodded, hoping that he'd drop the matter. He didn't of course, because he is a buffoon. He tried to speak so I grabbed him and pushed him in the door before he could arouse any suspicion. I glanced behind to check that Drowned Girl and Eunuch were following. Both of them looked a little bit confused and concerned about their surroundings. I guided Gibbs to a table and sat him down. Will and Isabel approached. If this was going to work I was going to have to keep them as far away from Gibbs as possible until I had a chance to explain the situation. I stood up and gave them a winning smile.

"You two, come with me, I need to talk to Master Gibbs on his own, he may take some convincing," I left Gibbs, leading them away from the table. "Keep a weather eye," I looked around the tavern as if I was suspicious of something. If they thought there was a reason to suspect suspicious people then they would turn their suspicions towards them and that would take their suspicions away from the suspect motives behind my conversation with Gibbs.

I got Gibbs and me some rum and sat back down. Gibbs took a refreshing swig. "Now, what's the nature of this venture you're on?"

I leant in closer so that nobody could overhear. "I'm going after the _Black Pearl_." Gibbs almost choked on his drink. _Calm down and stop looking at me like I'm crazy. It's really rude._ "I know where it's going to be, and I'm going to take it."

"Jack, it's a fool's errand…" _I'll let it slip once but don't call me a fool again. _"Why, you know better than me the tales of the _Black Pearl_."

"That's why I know what Barbossa is up to. All I need is a crew." I tried to be patient with him. Some people just don't understand that I always know exactly what I'm doing… well, most of the time.

"From what I hear tell of Captain Barbossa, he's not a man to suffer fools, nor strike a bargain with one."

_Rude._

"Well, then I'd say it's a very good thing I'm not a fool then, eh? I said sharply.

"Prove me wrong." Gibbs challenged. "What makes ye think Barbossa will give up his ship to you?"

I felt myself smile. I loved these moments when I proved to disbelieving people how brilliant I am. **"**Let's just say it's a matter of leverage, eh?" I nodded towards Will. Gibbs looked confused. Because he's an idiot. I nodded towards Will again. It took a while but eventually he got it.

"The kid?" he frowned.

"That is the child of Bootstrap Bill Turner. His _only_ child, savvy?" A glint appeared in Gibbs's eyes. Now he understood.

"Is he, now? 'Leverage' says you… 'I think I feel a change in the wind,' says I. I'll find us a crew. There's bound to be some sailors on this rock crazy as you."

_I choose to take this as a compliment._

I assumed by 'crazy' he meant brilliant.**"**One can only hope." I replied, even though I doubted he'd find anyone as close to brilliant as I am. Perhaps just people who could see and understand my brilliance would do. I raised my rum to his, "Take what you can?"

"Give nothing back," he tapped his off mine and the deal was done.

* * *

I was feeling a bit tired as we walked back to the _Interceptor_. All this planning was taking it out of me. I _never _usually do this much planning.

"Where's Gibbs?" Isabel asked. Nobody had spoken the whole way back and so her voice, although it was quiet, gave me a fright.

"Gone to find us a crew," I acted nonchalant, hoping she hadn't seen my slight jump. "We should be ready to sail by tomorrow morning."

"That's good," she sounded relieved. "Isn't it Will?" I detected a hint of falseness about her voice and question. There was a reason she was trying to make him talk to me. Will scowled before he slammed a door behind him.

_I wish you'd slammed that door in your own face._

I sighed. "Am I detecting a little hostility between me and William?"

"Erm…" she squirmed uncomfortably. "I'm sure it's nothing personal… He's just a bit… preoccupied at the moment."

She was so easy to see through it was laughable. Not _literally _see through, you understand. It wasn't like her clothes were see-through… although that could have been interesting… Unfortunately it was just her words that were see-through. Not that you can really see words anyway but you know what I mean.

"You are the worst liar I know," I said truthfully.

"Well, I'm sure you know very many," she retorted. _Bit cheeky for your kind is it not love? Keep it up…_

"True, love," I felt myself smile as I could see her own shock at her sudden boldness was written all over her face. "True."

There was a moment of easy silence. She looked me in the eye. "I appreciate what you're doing for us, Jack."

_That was almost like a 'thank you'. _Not that anyone from such a class as hers would ever thank anyone. Ever."Do you now?"

"Yes. You could have stabbed us in the back a thousand times by now, but you haven't you've stuck to your word." She sounded a bit too surprised.

"Did you not expect me to?" _Because if you did you're an absolute fool for coming. _Her silence said it all. "I thought as much. Like brother, like sister."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she said sharply. _No need to get bitchy, it was meant as a joke._

"You made up your mind up about me before you knew me, just like your brother," I explained, trying not to let her rattle me.

"Hypocrite!" she narrowed her eyes. "That's exactly what you've just done!"

_It's different when I do it because I'm right._

"Well, I know you're type."

"What do you mean 'my type'?" She was easily angered. Even for a woman. Well if she thought I would treat her differently because she had a dress on she had another think coming.

"I mean that you are nothing but a snooty little rich kid that has everything handed to her on a silver platter by doting parents." She was stunned into silence and I couldn't resist rubbing salt in her wounds, "Oh sorry(!) Did I offend you precious mummy and daddy?"

There was a moment's silence and then she raised her eyes to look at me. All the fight was gone. "My parents are dead."

_Oh __**shit**__!_

She said it quietly. Her voice didn't crack or come out all high-pitched like you might have expected from a woman. But the pain was all there. In her eyes. She turned away from me. I'd stopped enjoying this now, being right felt all wrong, "I'm sorry, love."

Why is it that when someone's bereaved we always apologise as if it's our fault? 'Sorry' seems like the least helpful thing to say. I wasn't sure if I was apologising for her loss or apologising for bringing it up in the harshest way possible.

"Yeah," she sounded like she forgave me but she'd heard all this before. She walked away. Her barriers were up now. I knew how she felt.

_Catch her up, Jackie._

I did what the small voice in my head told me to do because I can usually rely on it to be right. It usually agrees with my compass and I trust that immensely. "My mum's dead too," I admitted, knowing that it was the only way to salvage whatever kind of almost-tolerating each other that had been going on before this argument.

She stopped. "Really?"

I didn't think this was the right time to point out how stupid a lie it would have been if it was one. Which it wasn't.

"Yeah, my dad keeps her head on a piece of string." She laughed. _\It wasn't meant as a joke. _Her eyes widened with the surprise of it all. I didn't understand why she was surprised but laughter was better than anger.

"I suppose it kind of sweet," she said after she'd finished laughing at my father's disturbing behaviour.

_Sweet? _Why do women find the most bizarre thing attractive? Like baby animals instead of a good sail on a big black boat. Even so, a head on a string was a bit of a leap from a baby animal. _She's an odd one, this one._

"You're a bit odd, love," I said honestly.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

"Didn't say it was a bad thing," I winked and her blush deepened. _This is fun. I like making people squirm._ "'odd' can be good."

I put my arm around her shoulder and gave her a squeeze. She seemed quite happy now. _Angry and upset one minuet, happy and finding creepy things sweet the next… women, eh?_

* * *

__**Thanks for reading, I know it was a bit long :P**

**Love you guys :)**

**LV xx  
**


	11. A Collection of Idiots

**I'm not sure if this actually worked the first time I tired to upload it :S So I'm trying again.**

Lots of love,

**LV xx  
**

* * *

_Well this is the strangest collection of idiots I've ever seen in all my life. Master Gibbs, you've outdone yourself. Congratulations. _

"Feast your eyes Capt'n," he grinned at me like a dog awaiting his praise. _He's a good boy really. I should throw him a bone. _"all of them faithful hands before the mast, every man worth his salt. And crazy to boot."

_That much is obvious but thank you for the confirmation._

"This is your able-bodied crew?" No prizes for guessing whos snooty voice that was.

_I'll show you, Eunuch. _

"You, sailor!" I snapped at one of them. His eyes widened but he said nothing.

"Cotton, sir," Gibbs butted in. _Bit rude, let the man speak for himself._

"Mr Cotton? Do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay true in the face of almost certain death?" There was a long silence. This was the height of rudeness. If rudeness was a mountain, this man would be sitting on its snowy peak. _I hope you freeze up there; I am trying to beat a Eunuch. _"Mr Cotton! Answer, man!"

"He's a mute, sir," Gibbs explained, "poor devil had his tongue cut out, so he trained the parrot to talk for him. No-one's yet figured how."

_Ah… Fair enough then._

Cotton opened his mouth wide to show me the space where his tongue used to be. Behind his yellowy-brown teeth was an uneven, red scar and a disfigured lump. _Urgh, well that's just disgusting. _

I almost moved away from him, but out of the corner of my eye I saw will. He presence made me feel angry and also a little bit ill all at the same time. I still had a point to prove. I looked at the parrot. "Mr Cotton's parrot… same question."

"Wind in the sails! Wind in the sails!" the horrid feathery thing screeched in my face. I looked at Gibbs.

"Mostly we fear that means yes," he said.

"'Course it does!" I smiled, glancing over at Will "Satisfied?"

_Take that you big… girl._

"Well, you've proved they're mad." I'm not an idiot I could hear the distain in his voice. _If he puts just on more foot out of line I swear I'll-_

"What's the benefit for us?" a vaguely familiar voice cut across my dark thoughts. I am not a fan of vague familiarity. Experience has taught me that vague people are not to be trusted. I walked down the line, they stared back at me, gormless. I reached one who'd hidden himself with an overly large hat. I reached out and lifted up the brim, worried about what might lurk underneath.

_Oh shite._

"Anna-Maria!" I tried to sound enthusiastic as she glared at me. _Glare all you want, but please don't- S_he slapped me hard across the cheek.

"I suppose you didn't deserve that one either?" Will's smug tones made me want to get her to hit him too. She had a good hit. Unfortunately for me.

"Nope, that one I deserved."

I was lying of course; I deserve nothing but good things. However, good things would not happen to me if I were to contradict Anna-Maria. She raised her hand again. I braced myself, but she only pointed. "You stole my boat!"

_Incorrect. _

"Actually-" She slapped me again. _How many times can this happen in one day?... don't answer that. "_Borrowed. Borrowed without permission, but with every intention of bringing it back to you."

"But you didn't!"

_Well obviously. _

"You'll get another one." I said hurriedly as she raised her hand, but again, she was only pointing.

"I will."

"A better one," Eunuch Boy chipped in. _That was actually pretty helpful of you, Eunuch, cheers for that. _

"A better one!" I smiled at her. I could see her calming down.

"That one," I heard Will say and everyone looked. I panicked.

"What one?" I stared at him. He was looking at the Interceptor. _I hate you._ "That one?" I had a second to glare at him before everyone turned their attention back to me. Then I had to plaster that stupid big smile back on my face. "Aye, that one. What say you?"

"Aye!" everyone said all together even though the question had not been directed at them. Fools. Anna-Maria snatched her hat back rather rudely from out of my hand and stormed off. I felt rather drained after that.

"No, no, no!" Gibbs was yapping at my side, "its frightful bad luck to have a woman aboard."

He knew nothing. "It would be far worse not to however." I said gravely.

"Excuse me?" a moody voice snapped from behind us. Isabel. _Why are women always so difficult to deal with?_

"What?"

"You've had a woman aboard long before now!" she said. _What the hell was she on about?_ "I'm a woman too, in case you hadn't noticed!"

My eyes slipped down to her chest and swiftly back up again. _Not bad… _ I gave her my most charming smile, but she didn't seem to notice. Which is odd because it is a very noticeable smile. "I promise you, love, I had noticed, but you're a special case."

"What?"

"Well, you don't really count." Gibbs explained. "You're not here by choice."

"Right." She nodded and a tiny little frown creased her brow. She obviously did not understand. Personally, I thought it had been explained rather well.

_You can storm at me all you want, I'm not stopping and I'm not slowing down._

The ship pitched beneath us and rocked violently. I admit it was a little dangerous and we got through it on pure skill alone. My skills, obviously, although the crew might have helped a little bit. If I was having a slight disagreement with the weather, it was nothing compared to the massive, raging argument it was having with the contents of Isabel's stomach. I've never seen anyone be sick so much all at once. Ever.

"Never mind, love," I said to the back of her head as she made delightful retching noises over the starboard side. "You just need to find your sea-legs."

She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and then looked up at me slowly. She gave me the most disgusted, cross look in the whole world. She was not amused. I was. I had no idea that someone could turn that shade of green. It was interesting. When her seasickness didn't wear off, I did worry a bit. I thought Will would be more concerned than he was. _Well he's rubbish. I am so much better than him_. I checked in on her when I could but most of the time she was either too unconscious or delirious to appreciate my efforts. My time was better spent trying to keep us afloat, anyway. Under my hands, the rain made the wheel a slippery little bugger.

"We should drop canvas, sir!" Gibbs staggered towards me, barely able to see me because of the rain. Which is unfortunate for him because I am a very pleasant thing to see. Gibbs is a cautious man. Perhaps too cautious. That what comes of having been in the Navy with Commodore Goon. I'd be cautious then too.

"She can hold a bit longer," I told him as the ship pitched violently from side to side again.

He had to squint through the rain. "What's in your head that's put you in such a fine mood, Capt'n? " he bellowed over the noise of the storm.

"We're catching up," I said with a smile.


	12. Arrival at the Isla de Meurta

"Feeling any better, love?"

Isabel looked up at me from her bunk. She sat up and smiled. It was a weak smile, but it was still a smile. "Yes, thank you."

"Aye, we're on calmer seas now," I told her. "But take it easy, darlin'."

She shook her head and swung her feet out of bed. "I think I've been 'taking it easy' long enough. I'm perfectly capable of pulling my weight again." For some reason this stirred some kind of pride in me. She was turning out to be the exact opposite of what I had been expecting in a Commodore's sister. Especially the sister of the one and only Commodore Goon. Clearly, she had gotten all the brains, and strength… and looks. Not that it's hard to be better looking than Commodore Goon. He is genuinely a frightfully goon-ish looking man. She caught me smiling at her and frowned. "What?"

"You're not such a delicate little flower, are you?" I grinned.

She grinned back. "Not exactly."

I was overcome by a moment of disgusting chivalry during which I helped her to her feet.

_Never done that before. How odd… still, I'll try anything once. _

"Does your brother know?"

"What James doesn't know won't hurt him," she reasoned. _Brilliant reasoning, I like you. _

"Let us keep to that philosophy when we get you home, eh?" I winked. It was meant as a joking statement but the moment the words had left my mouth the atmosphere changed. I got a bit sad. I do not care for being sad. She looked away from me, the smile was still on her face but that was different too. _I don't like change._

"Yes. Quite," she said and I realised what had changed. Here, standing in front of me was Drowned Girl from Port Royal. The girl with the classically British 'stiff upper-lip' and elegant reserve. The one who worried about what Commodore Goon thought of her. Not the more relaxed, care-free lass from moments before with whom I had almost become… friends?

_ Friends? Don't be ridiculous. Our kind can't mix with the likes of them. _

She brushed her hair out of her eyes and straightened out her clothes. She glanced at me once, smiled and walked away, picking up a sword as she went.

_A lass like that's wasted in Port Royal._

"Dead men tell no tales…" that bloody parrot squawked from the prow of the _Interceptor. _

_Cheerful, thanks for that._

Cotton peered over my shoulder and stared at my compass. _Rude. _I snapped it shut and put it in my pocket. I don't care for nosy people. Especially when I need to concentrate. I was once again demonstrating my extraordinary nautical talent and skill to navigate one of the most dangerous passages known to man. And more importantly, I was doing it brilliantly.

_Now, you see, this is what's important. Being a Captain and stopping yourself and yer crew from drowning. None of this feeling sad business. No time for being sad when you're too busy being brilliant._

_Don't think about her. Don't even look at her. _

"Jack." I'd been so busy pretending not to know about her I hadn't noticed her approaching me. _I'll have to look at her now I suppose, be rude not to. Doesn't mean I'm friends with her though. _She was looking at me strangely. It was not the kind of strange I was used to. Many people give me strange looks, but she looked… _worried. _Not like she was worried about me shooting her, or robbing her or as if she was worried about my sanity. More like she was worried about _me. _Just me. Nothing else. Odd. "I know what Barbossa did to you and I think it's awful."

I was flushed by a sudden rage. "What? How do you know?"

"Gibbs told us," she said apprehensively.

_Filthy swine. Can no man be trusted?_

"Us?" _Who else had he seen fit to tell? _I looked over. He was sitting with Eunuch. While the story may have stirred empathy in Isabel, it would stir nothing but suspicion in the whelp. "Right!" I marched over to the pair of them, who were gossiping like little girls.

"He roped a couple of sea-turtles?" Will was mocking me.

_I loathe you, Eunuch._

"Aye," Gibbs nodded.

"Then what did he use for rope?" _Stop picking holes in my story!_

"Human hair," I said and they both nearly wet themselves, "from my back."

"Eww," I smiled at the blatant disgust on Isabel's face.

"Let go of the anchor!" I snapped at the crew. "Young Mr Turner, Miss Norrington and I need to go ashore."

The two gossiping gannets stood up. "What if the worst should happen?" Gibbs came uncomfortably close. _I still don't like you._

"Keep to the code," I said sternly, "You know that."

"Aye… the code." Gibbs agreed with me, as he always does. I stood in silence looking moody so that he knew he was not forgiven. Not sure he noticed. The long boat hit the water and I led Will and Isabel down. The tension was almost tangible in the boat. They looked worried, but neither of them backed out as I started rowing towards the Isla de Meurta.

We sat in silence as the island rose out of the gloom. I could feel their nerves, but I said nothing to calm them. Nerves keep people on edge. And people on edge react quicker. People who react quicker are less likely to die.

"What code is Gibbs to stick to if the worst should happen?" Will asked in a suspicious kind of a way.

"He who falls behind is left behind," I said. I knew it wouldn't appeal to them, but there was no point in hiding it.

"No heroes among thieves then," Eunuch's voice was full of contempt.

_I have had just about enough of you._

"You know," I tried my utmost to restrain my anger. Falling out with him now would do nothing to help me later. "for having such a bleak outlook on pirates you're well on your way to becoming one. You've sprung a man from jail, commandeered a ship of the fleet, sailed with a buccaneer crew out of Tortuga," I caught him looking down into the waters of the dark cave where gold and piles of treasure lay glinting, "and you're completely obsessed with treasure."

The boat came to a stop. I jumped out and left the Eunuch to pull it out by himself. "That's not true!" he protested. _I think you'll find it is. _"I am not obsessed with treasure."

I looked into the cave from our safe vantage point at Elizabeth. If there was one thing he was obsessed with, it was her. It was borderline creepy. _Can people be treasures?_ I reached out to take Isabel's hand and help her up to where I was. _Yes they can._ "Not all treasure is silver and gold mate," I reminded him. Isabel smiled her thanks and then looked over to her friend.

"He means Elizabeth." She whispered wisely as Will joined us.

_Really?_

"Don't half state the obvious do you love?" I whispered and watched her smile, but her eyes were back on Elizabeth.

"Where did she get that dress?" she said, more to herself than anyone else.

"Isabel, is this really the time?" Eunuch had to get all serious about the situation.

"Sorry."

_No, don't apologize for having fun. Ever. It's the whole point in life._

"It would look better on you." I winked at her and she went red.

"Jack, this is not the time for you to be hitting on Isabel!" Eunuch was cross. _Any time is the time for me to be hitting on anyone… besides,_ I looked Isabel up and down while she wasn't looking…_ it's true._

"He's not hitting on me!" she glared at Will.

_Oh yes I am._

"Shh," Eunuch had gotten himself all worked up, "this isn't the time."

_Bite me, Eunuch Boy._

"For ten years we've been tested and tried and each one of you has proved his mettle a hundred times over and a hundred times again!" Barbossa was also going off on one.

_Traitorous,_

"Suffered I have!" came a shout from the crowd.

_Cow-hearted…_

"Punished, we were. The lot of us - disproportionate to our crimes!" Barbossa threw the lid off the chest. _That beard is foul._ "Here it is the cursed treasure of Cortes himself. Every last piece that went astray, we have returned, save for this." He pointed to the medallion hanging around Elizabeth's neck. There was a ridiculously feminine gasp. I knew it would have been Will without even having to look. He tried to leap forwards. I grabbed him and pulled him down.

"Not yet," I warned, "we wait until the opportune moment."

_He's going to ruin everything._

I walked away from him, hoping that was the end of matters.

"When's that? When it's of greatest profit to you?" he snarled.

_Bugger off._

"May I ask you something?" I turned on him. "Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?" I glanced at Isabel who was looking decidedly worried as well. Did she think the same as he did? After all this? "Either of you? Do us a favour and stay here… and try not to do anything stupid."

I turned my back on the pair of them.

_I swear, if they weren't important, I'd-_

There was a sharp pain on the back of my head which tingled and spread as my vision blurred. _Bugger. _Everything went black.


	13. Is this Hell?

_Is this hell?_

_Probably._

I opened my eyes very, very slowly. All of me hurt and everything was spinning. Or maybe I was. Even though I was lying down… At least, I think I was.

_This. Is. So. Sore. I think my head might actually fall off._

Either I had the worst hangover in the history of everything or I was paying for my sins in a deep circle of hell. I could hear people crashing around, shouting to one another. _That's so rude, some of us have a head that may or may not fall off any second now. _I looked to my left, something was lying beside me. I reached out and picked it up.

_Well, who are you and… oh, you're an oar. Odd._

I stood up and picked the mysterious oar up too. It stood alongside me, like a friend would, if there was such a thing. _Come on Mr Oar, you can come with me. _We walked along. It was difficult to walk quickly or in a straight line. It was like being drunk but with none of the fun. Everything spun around us.

_Stop saying 'us', Jackie. Mr Oar's not real._

_Isn't he?_

I looked at Mr Oar as I turned to walk a different way. He didn't look back at me. Because he had no face. _Maybe you're not so real after all._

I looked up. A sea of puzzled faces looked back at me. There was not one face in that crowd that I liked. I did, however, recognise them. _If this indeed is hell there is nothing in my life that's bad enough to warrant ending up in e same circle of hell as these bastards._

"You…" one of them pointed. I tried to focus on him.

"You're supposed to be dead!" the one next to him shouted at me. _Rude_. I knew that I knew their names, but I couldn't for the life of me remember them. Everything spun a little faster when I tried to.

"Am I not?" I asked him. _Sorry to disappoint you. _Looking down at myself I saw that I was in fact all there. I certainly felt solid enough. Maybe I was here and alive after all. _They look cross… better leave them to it._ I turned away from them. I heard a gun click in front of me. _How did you all get there so fast?_

I turned back. More swords and pistols greeted me. _Oh._

If I didn't say something soon I would be shot dead. _What's the magic word? The one that makes everyone like you… Starts with 'P'… isn't please. I hate that word. _"Palulay?" I tried. _Nope. "P_alu-li-la-la-lulu?" _No… close though."P_arlili?" _Is that a real thing? "P_arsnip, paisley, par - partner, partner?" _These are all real things. They're just not…._

_Bugger. _

"Parley?"

_Thank you, fool. _

"Parley! That's the one. Parley! Parley!" I could have sung it. _Best word ever. _Everyone looked crossly at the one who'd told me the magic word. He was my favourite. Ragetti. His name came back to me as the pain in my head throbbed.

"Parley?" his fat friend cursed him. _Pintel… God, I'm clever. "_Down to the depths whatever muttonhead thought up 'parley'!"

_Calm down… it's only a word._

"That would be the French." I informed him. _Clever me. _He looked so angry. As I waited for Barbossa I began to remember everything. Where was Eunuch? Where was Drowned Girl? Where were my faithful crew? _You can't depend on anyone but yourself. I am the only person loyal enough to stay with me. _

I waited for Barbossa. He was just as ugly and loathsome a I remembered. But I loved being the cause of the annoyance in his eyes. "How the blazes did you get off that island?" he asked. I saw his repulsive yellow teeth.

_Wouldn't you like to know?_

I leant on my oar, smiling. I had great reason to smile. He had no power over me. I was not going to lose to him again. "When you marooned me on that godforsaken spit of land, you forgot one very important thing, mate." He looked confused. But I suppose it doesn't take much to confuse an idiot. "I'm Captain Jack Sparrow."

_Obviously._

"Ah…" He did not look impressed. "Well, I won't be making that mistake again. Gents, I trust you all remember Captain Jack Sparrow?" He looked like he was enjoying this. I was enjoying this too. He had no idea what was coming. "Kill him." He instructed, turning his back on me. I smiled.

_What a weak, weak man._

"The girl's blood didn't work, did it?" I said loudly over the sound of many guns being prepared to be fired. Barbossa stopped.

"Hold your fire!" He snapped. I relished the resentment in his voice. He turned. "You know whose blood we need."

I nodded to confirm his statement. "I know whose blood you need."

I grinned. He looked at me with hate in his eyes. _The feeling is more than mutual._

"We found another one," a gruff voice called, turning Barbossa's attention away from me.

_What? Who? Who else is here?_

"Shoot her," he said flippantly, "I have no use for her."

'_Her'?..._

_Oh God._

"Aye, aye Capt'n," Barbossa's man sounded pleased.

_Isabel!_

"No!" someone shouted. _Oh, that someone is me,_ "don't! Let the girl go!"

I moved to get a better look. Isabel was standing before Barbossa looking terrified.

"Why? Is she one of your lot?" Barbossa's voice was almost a growl. I knew he wouldn't care. Isabel's eyes finally located me and suddenly she looked a lot calmer. Oddly enough, I felt calmer too. I was also confused as to what she was doing here. _Why wasn't William with her? _But most of all I felt a burning need to keep her safe and alive.

"Yes. If you shoot her, you'll have to shoot me too and you know what the consequence of that will be," I looked meaningfully at Barbossa. A flash of understanding passed between us. There was a long and tense silence. Barbossa nodded and I relaxed.

"Her life will be spared until your usefulness has run its course," he agreed. She was pushed over to where I was standing. She looked a little shaken.

"What are you doing here, love?" I asked quietly. For some reason, I was worried about the answer. "Why aren't you with William?"

"I stayed behind," she replied as Barbossa and his crew dragged us out of the cave. "When you were unconscious I stayed behind to wake you up. I argued with Will and he left without me."

_That bastard._

"You idiot!" I told her. She looked a bit taken aback and said nothing. A heavy silence hung between us. My stomach twisted with some strange emotion. _I shouldn't have said that. _I looked at her, studied her face. _She stayed… she actually stayed to help me._ "But thank you, I don't know anyone else who would do that for me." I said so quietly that I didn't even know the words were coming out of my mouth, but her smile told me that she'd heard.

_I feel strange… In a good way… I think._


	14. A Eunuch Attempts to Strike a Bargain

_You could've at least looked after my bloody ship once you'd taken it from me you scraggly-bearded twat._

"Apparently there's a leak," I said loudly as water swirled around my ankles to prove my point. Nobody replied. _Rude. _

"What do we do?" Isabel turned to me.

_Well this is clearly the first time you've been in a jail._

"Don't worry, darlin'," _Was she worried? _I put my arm around her to make her feel more comfortable. She leant into me. "Something'll turn up and if it doesn't, I sort of have a plan."

Her eyebrows rose. "Well, 'sort of' is very comforting." Sarcasm was very endearing on her. It made me smile. But she still looked a little uneasy.

"I know what I'm doing, love," I told her. "I'm not exactly new to these situations. If bloody William had done what I told him, the two of us wouldn't be in this mess."

_I hate him._

Isabel sighed, "He did what he thought was right and so did I, it just so happened that we didn't agree on what it was."

_How very… diplomatic of you. Just call him a cowardly little Eunuch next time. _

I studied her expression. She looked calm enough, but I couldn't decide if she was now resenting me for her being in her current position. Then I remembered that it was a choice she made to stick with me out of her own free will.

"Do you regret it?" I asked her.

"I don't know," she sounded thoughtful. "It depends on how this all turns out."

"I'll get you home, love, don't worry."

_And if you I don't then it'll be alright because you'd die so you won't be able to be cross with me._

"I'm not worried," her face lifted in a smile and she looked at me properly. "Not yet."

**BOOM.**

_Bugger._

I had a split second to react. I pushed Isabel to the ground as the _Pearl _shook with the impact of a cannonball. I turned to look at the damage. A massive, stupid hole looked back at me.

_No, no, no, no, no, no, NO!_

"Stop blowing holes in my ship!" I shouted, although I knew that nobody above the Interceptor would hear me. I peered through the whole that had just been created to fix them with my most ferocious glare. Which is pretty damn terrifying. If I met myself and glared at myself, the me that was being glared at would be very scared of the me that was doing the glaring.

"What's going on?" Isabel scrambled to her feet

"Your friends are fighting back," I was not amused. Something shiny caught my eye, I stooped to pick it up. It was a fork. _Bit odd… _"Your friends are fighting back with cutlery…" _What are they actually doing? Am I the only normal one in this whole place? And… What the hell was that? _"Cutlery and Gibbs's flask." _Gibbs will not be pleased. _I picked it up and pocketed it. Then I turned and noticed the door. It had been damaged in the blast. I pushed it and it swung open. _Ooh… well… that's useful._ Without thinking, I grabbed Isabel's hand, "Come on."

I led the way out of the brig and up on deck. I was cautious, but luckily everyone was too busy trying to kill each other to notice us. I surreptitiously grabbed the rope of someone who was swinging towards us from the other ship. He looked a little shocked when he saw me and dropped directly into the sea. "Thanks, mate," I smiled at the patch of sea he'd fallen into. _I'm too polite for my own good. _I glanced at Isabel, her eyes were wide, "Hang on tight, Isabel."

Her arms wrapped around my waist. We jumped. I expected a girly scream, but all that happened was she clung on tighter. We flew like two birds together for the briefest moment, away from the _Pearl. I'll be back soon. _We were as graceful as two Sparrows… until we tumbled onto the deck. I recovered slightly quicker than Isabel and helped pull her to her feet. She smiled at me.

"Isabel!" someone shouted. Isabel's eyes lit up. Elizabeth Swann was running towards us. Isabel ran towards her, calling her name. She looked deliriously happy.

_Don't know why. She doesn't seem to be anything special._

I walked over to them, feeling a little odd. "Where is the medallion?" I asked, interrupting their girlish embrace. Elizabeth's face immediately flooded with rage.

"Wretch!" she shouted in my face.

_Bit rude._

Isabel looked confused about all this. I studied Elizabeth. _So she is a woman, after all. Eunuch and a woman. Wonders never cease. Speaking of Eunuch…_"Ah, where the William?" I asked and her face changed completely. She shot off to find her dearly beloved and his lack of trouser-departmentness.

It was then that I spotted Barbossa's stupid, pestilent, filthy monkey with that medallion grasped in its stupid, dirty paws. "Monkey!" I yelled to it, in the hope it would stop and ran after the slippery little devil.

_I hate monkeys, they're like stupidly small and highly idiotic miniature, hairy people. With creepy faces. _

The stupid bugger was hard to keep track off in the movement of all the normal sized people. I chased that stupid creature all the way back to the _Pearl. _I was close on his tail. He was fast, but I was gaining on him. With a sense of elation I reached out and-

_Oh._

A pair of boots stood in my way. I continued looking up to see who they belonged to. Barbossa. He was grinning. He looks even uglier when he does that.

"Thank ye' Jack," his gloating eyes were fixed on me.

"You're welcome…" I muttered.

_You're not._

"Not you," his ugly grin widened. "We named the monkey Jack."

_Die._

"If any of you so much as thinks the word 'parlay' I'll have your guts for garters."

_Parlay… oh, you did nothing. What a surprise._

_**BOOM. **_The Interceptor erupted in a flash of fire._ Commodore Goon is not going to be happy with me. Good._

The whole explosion seemed to get Elizabeth all worked up. She charged at Barbossa, screaming shrill things in a shrill manner at the top of her undoubtedly shrill voice. Barbossa, naturally, was loving it. "Welcome back, Miss. You took advantage of our hospitality last time. It holds fair now that you return the favor." He pushed her roughly towards his crew who began grabbing her wherever they could. _Desperate… then again, with only Barbossa to look at for months on end, who wouldn't be?_

"Barbossa!" a stupid, weak, eunuch-ish little voice spoke up from the rail of the _Pearl_. Eunuch was attempting to glare and look frightening. "She goes free."

_Oh God no… Is this what it's come to? I've seen scarier glares on a door handle and they don't even have eyes,_

"What's in your head boy?" Barbossa swaggered towards him.

"She goes free," Eunuch repeated.

_Oh God, we're doomed._

"You've only got one shot and we can't die," Barbossa spoke to Will as if he was an idiot. Which he was. It seemed Barbossa and I had found something we agreed on.

"Don't do anything stupid," I muttered, knowing that such a request was impossible. It is in a stupid man's nature to do stupid things.

"You can't," Will agreed. _Well at least he's got one thing right today. He must be proud. _It was then that Will turned the gun on himself, "but I can."

_What the hell is wrong with you?_

"Who are you?" Barbossa was thoroughly confused.

_Oh shit, I know where this is going… _

I leapt forward to save him. "He's no one," I said, which was true. He was insignificant enough not to be an actual person. "He's the distant cousin of an aunt's nephew twice removed. Lovely singing voice, though. Eunuch…"

_I imagine it's very high considering he had his trouser department hacked off. _

"My name is William Turner," Will cut across my ingenious cover-up with the ridiculous truth. "My father was Bootstrap Bill Turner. His blood runs in my veins."

_Oh for fuck's sake… don't tell them everything they need to know!_

"He's the spitting image of old Bootstrap Bill come back to haunt us!" someone shouted out.

_Oh no. No. No. No_

"On my word do as I say or I'll pull the trigger and be lost to Davy Jones's Locker," Will teetered dangerously on the edge of the rail. I really wanted to just push him in.

"Name your terms, Mr Turner," said Barbossa.

"Elizabeth goes free!" he demanded.

_No shit._

He secured Elizabeth's freedom. _Eh… Eunuch…_

Isabel's freedom was also agreed upon.

_I do believe you're forgetting someone… someone important…_

He ensured the safety of my crew. _WHAT ABOUT ME EUNUCH?_

_Well… bugger him. _

Beside me, someone let out a gentle sigh. I glanced at Isabel and briefly caught sight of a tear in her eye. Slowly, slyly, I reached for her hand and entwined my fingers with hers.

"It'll be alright, love," I whispered for only her to hear. I felt her give my hand a slight squeeze.

_Not really… we'll probably all die. _


	15. The Truth About Turtles

"Barbossa, you lying bastard!" I looked up. _Did the Eunuch really just say 'bastard'? _He had, you know. _Unexpected. Sounded all wrong. _He glared at Barbossa in a way which I'm sure, in his head, made him look strong and fierce, but in reality it just made him look like a cross kitten. But not a cute one. A really ugly one. "You swore they'd go free!"

"Don't impugn me honour, boy!" Barbossa actually managed the angry look. "I agreed they go free, but it was you who failed to specify when or where. Although…" He looked at Elizabeth, "it does seem a shame to lose something so fine, doesn't it lads?... So I'll be having that dress back before you go."

Laughter rippled around the crew. Elizabeth ripped off her dress and was left standing in her undergarments. _No complaints here…. _Barbossa's crew whistled as she threw the dress at him. _She's actually better at looking angry than Eunuch… then again, she is a woman. _"It goes with your black heart," she snarled.

"Oh, it's still warm," he chuckled. _Creepy… _

Elizabeth continued inching her way along the plank. _She may be good at looking angry, but she's not very brave. _She stopped again. Her eyes scanned for the Eunuch's. She opened her mouth to say something. One of Barbossa's cronies thumped all his weight down on the other end of the plank. It shook violently and Elizabeth plopped off into the sea. "Too long!"

_Agreed._

Isabel was shoved forwards. I prepared to wait another age for her to finally decide to get her hair wet, but she strode quickly to the end. There was a slight hesitation when she reached it, but then she jumped. And that was it. No fuss. _Hadn't been counting on that._

Now, it was my turn.

_Bugger._

"I'd really rather hoped we were past all this," I said, trying to appeal to Barbossa's more reasonable side.

_He doesn't have one._

"Jack…" Barbossa's breath was in my face. _Urgh… that is truly disgusting. _"Jack . Did ye not notice? That be the same little island that we made you Governor of on our last little trip."

_I hate you._

"I did notice." I nodded.

He grinned at me. _Also, a truly disgusting thing. _"Perhaps you'll be able to conjure up another miraculous escape, but I doubt it." _You'll be sorry. _"Off you go," he motioned me along.

_Not so fast._

"Last time, you left me a pistol with one shot." I pointed out.

"By the powers, you're right. Where be Jack's pistol? Bring it forward," he looked smug as he handed it over. I glanced at the sea below.

"Seeing as there's three of us," I tried to look at my most innocent. "A gentleman would give us _three_ pistols..."

"It'll be one pistol as before, and you can be the gentleman and pick a lady to shoot, leaving one of them dead and the other pissed off and starving to death with you."

He threw my pistol into the sea. _The next time you see it, Barbossa, it'll be the last thing you ever bloody see. _With that promised I dove in after it.

The freezing water did nothing to calm my anger and the swim to shore made me tired and irritable. I watched the _Pearl _sail away from me and longed for something to punch. Ideally, Barbossa. "That's the second time I've had to watch that man sail away on my ship." I didn't realise I had spoken out loud until I felt a slender arm wrap around my waist. Isabel. I leant towards her. She was warm. Comforting. Someone coughed and I felt Isabel jump away from me.

_Fuck you, Elizabeth. Fuck you._

"Isabel," she said, her voice was as cold as she was. "Let's go for a walk."

Elizabeth stormed off and Isabel half-heartedly followed. _Women…_

All my pent up frustrations unleashed themselves as I launched my pistol at the sand. I felt rage boil up again.

_No, Jackie… don't let him do this. Focus. _

I picked up my pistol and sat down. I needed to let it dry. I took it apart and let any trapped water spill out. As I was putting it back together again I heard voices. Isabel looked confused to see me. Elizabeth looked pissed off. _Nothing new there then._

"It's not all that big is it?" I smiled at their shock of having walked around the entire island already. Isabel did not smile back. She looked completely miserable.

_Is that what one little walk with Elizabeth can do to you…?_

"If you're going to shoot me please do so with all haste," she said shortly. I looked at her. _Bugger… this is serious._

I tried not to look at Elizabeth. She made me crosser that I already was. "Is there a problem between us, Isabel?"

"It's Miss Norrington to you!" Elizabeth jumped in to something that wasn't her business.

_Shut up .Everything was fine until you showed up._

"I wasn't talking to you," I glared at her, staring her down. She looked haughty. _You are __**not**__ better than me, Missy. _I stood up and looked at Isabel. "Isabel, love?" I prompted, gently.

She looked up at me. She didn't just look angry, she look betrayed. The feeling it gave me wasn't pleasant. "You were going to trade Will's life for a ship," she said quietly.

"We could use a ship!" I pointed out, but she didn't crack a smile. Elizabeth smirked. I glowered at her, "This is your doing!" _You deserve a fucking Eunuch, love. "_Actually I was not going to tell Barbossa about bloody Will because as long as he didn't know about bloody Will, I still had something to bargain with, which now, none of us have thanks to bloody stupid Will!"

The silence between all three of us felt as if it were angry too.

"Oh," the girls said together.

"Oh," I echoed in a perfect imitation of their high-pitched voices. I sat down. _You can both leave me alone now._

"I'm sorry," Isabel's sincerity took me by surprise.

_Did someone of her class and status really just apologise?_

"It's alright, love… It wasn't your fault." I told her, glaring at her stupid friend. Isabel sat down beside me and took off her shoes. I watched her bury her own feet. She looked quite happy and contented in such a childish thing. I felt myself fill with something that was almost… affection? She caught me smiling at her and she smiled back.

"What are you doing?" Elizabeth butted in where she wasn't needed… again.

"I'm sitting down," Isabel replied.

_Isn't it obvious?_

"How can you sit at a time like this?" Elizabeth was borderline hysterical.

_Is she serious?_

"A time like what?" Isabel sounded as confused as I felt.

"Will!" Elizabeth screeched.

"Oh for God's sake!" I stood up and walked away. If I didn't get away from her then I would, quite happily, punch her in the face. She followed me, like a stray dog. Except she was more annoying. Like a stray dog with fleas and a constant bark.

"He still tried to save us! We have to help him!"

_No. No we don't._

"Off you go then!" I shooed her off. "Be sure and let me know how that turns out."

"But you were marooned on this island before! We can escape in the same way you did then!"

_Shut. Up._

"To what point and purpose, young Missy? The _Black Pearl_ is gone and unless either of you have a rudder and a lot of sails hidden in those bodices-"I glanced at her chest. _Hahahah, no. _ "-unlikely." _Isabel's are a bit more… No, Jack! Focus. _"then Mr Turner will be dead long before you can reach him."

I turned away from them and got on with more important matters. _Rum. _I pressed my ear to the trunk of a tree and knocked. _Brilliant._

_Right, now three steps over here._

_One…_

_Two…_

_Three… _

_Good. _

"But you're Captain Jack Sparrow!" _Oh my God, will you please just STOP TALKING?_ "You vanished from under the eyes of seven agents of the East India Company. You sacked Nassau Port without even firing a shot. Are you the pirate I've read about or not?" _Well… yes, I am rather brilliant._ "How did you escape last time?"

"Oh, well. There's sea turtles in the waters nearby, so Jack went out and stood in the…" _Erm… not exactly. _She saw the look in my eyes. _Bugger. _"Oh," she muttered.

"I wasn't being completely honest with you, love," I admitted. One of her eyebrows shot up.

"And you say **I'm** a liar?" she sounded like she was trying to be cross, but was actually just slightly amused.

_Good. I'm safe._

"The very worst I know," I agreed. "It just so happens I am the very best I know."

_I'm the very best at everything. Try me._

I grinned at her. She tried and failed not to grin back. She had a devilishly cheeky grin. It was not unpleasant.

"We seem to be digressing from the subject, you two," Elizabeth's cold tone grated against my nerves. _Do you just go around destroying any happy thing you can?_

"Last time I was here for a grand total of three days, alright?" I snapped, opening the trap door I had been looking for. If I was going to have to deal with her snobbery and miserable presence I was going to need some rum. I couldn't get down the stairs fast enough. "Last time the rum-runners used this island as a cache and I was able to barter as passage off. From the looks of things they've been out of business for a while." The sun hit my face as I climbed back out of that beautiful rum-filled slice of heaven on the island. I glanced at Isabel, "Probably got your bloody brother to thank for that."

She rolled her eyes. Elizabeth was looking at me in a way that can only be described as 'not amused', which is surprising because I am very amusing. "So that's it then? That's the grand adventure of the infamous Jack Sparrow? He spent three days lying on a beach, drinking rum?"

_Yes, Elizabeth, it's called having fun. You should try it sometime. _

"Welcome to the Caribbean, love," I handed her a bottle of rum. _This may cure you of all your boringness._

"Unbelievable," she muttered as I walked away from them both and sat down.

_Then again, maybe not. _

"That was an awfully unimpressive story." I heard Isabel agree with her.

_Not you as well!_

"I can hear you, you know," I said loudly. There was a silence. A pair of bare feet came into my line of vision and someone blocked out the sun. Isabel. I looked up.

"Were there truth in any of the other stories?" she asked.

_Oh, go away_.

For a second, I thought about saying it out loud, but something in her eyes made me stand up. "Truth?" I echoed. _If it's the truth you want it's the truth you'll bloody get. _I kept my eyes trained on her face as I rolled up my sleeve, exposing a deep gash on my arm. Her eyes widened. I showed her some of my other wounds; the bruises on my other arms, the burns on my collar bone, the cuts and scars that mapped out my life. _There. _Her eyes met mine again. "No truth at all," I murmured.

_Now. Now go ahead and judge me. I suppose I deserve it for living a life of piracy, don't I? Oh… piss off and join your prissy friend. _

She didn't move, she just took a deep breath. Something burned in her eyes. Something like… compassion. "Jack, that's awful," her voice was soft and she sounded close to tears. And that was it. That was all she had to say. She was concerned about _me_ and my pain. Not what I'd done or why I'd done it. Judging me never seemed to cross her mind. Nobody had ever shown me this kind of unconditional understanding before.

_You… you are brilliant, Isabel._

Without any kind of conscious thought I felt myself pull her towards me in a hug. Her body pressed against mine, she was warm, solid. A true comfort. A true friend. _Stop it, you're getting soft, Jackie… punch her in the face, that'll balance it out. _I was about to pull away and consider the pros and cons of punching her, when I felt her arms wrap around me tightly after a slight hesitation. She rested her head on my shoulder. _Thank you. _ "I like you better than the others, love," I blurted out. _Now, what did you say that for? Well… I suppose she's only competing with Will and Elizabeth. There are lepers I like more than them._ She suddenly remembered Elizabeth. Her head lifted from my shoulder and her arms slipped from round my neck. She looked around as I slowly slid my hands away from her waist.

A small frown creased her brow, and she sighed as she sat down. I sat down beside her.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to come between you and Elizabeth, darlin'"

"You haven't," she shook her head and smiled. "She'll come round."

I lay back and thought about how good it would be if she didn't come round. Or if she accidentally fell off the end of the island, never to be seen again… Bliss.

_Ooooh… look at that!_

"That cloud looks like a parrot," I pointed it out to Isabel. She lay down beside me and looked for herself.

"What cloud?" she was confused. "There aren't any!"

_Silly girl…_

"There is! It's over there by that palm tree."

To be fair, I did have my head tilted all the way back and I was squinting a little bit, but it was definitely there.

"That is a miniscule speck of a cloud," she said, unimpressed. _Well… that's a bit rude._ "It barely counts as a cloud," she concluded.

_You barely count as a cloud!_

"I've seen smaller!" I said in the poor cloud's defence.

"Do you go around measuring them? (!)" she asked sarcastically. I looked at her. Her head was still turned skywards, but she was smiling, it made me smile too. If we didn't get out of here and this was how I was to spend my last days… I could deal with it.

"Yup," I tried to sound serious. She turned her head to look at me in disbelief, her eyes full of laughter.

_Now… let's get you nice and drunk._


	16. Crimes Against Rum

_I fucking __**love **__drunk Isabel. _

_I love drunk me too, but that's no surprise… I already know how brilliant I am…_

Isabel's laughter filled up my ears. It was a nice thing to be full of. It was like eating just a little bit too much of your favourite thing and then feeling comfortable and warm inside. I tried to focus on her, but it was difficult. I blinked a few times and shook my head. I took a deep breath and managed to see her properly. By the light of the fire I could see her spinning around in a circle with her eyes squeezed tightly shut. A blissful smile lit her face. The hem of her dress spun outwards as she twirled. It didn't last long before she started to stumble. I walked towards her and caught her arm before she hit the sand.

"I got you, love." I said as I set her back on her feet again and she smiled, looking a little dizzy.

"No you don't!" she giggled. "You can't get me!"

She ran off on shakey legs. _Challenge accepted._ I ran after her. It was bloody difficult to run on that sand and after a while I stumbled and fell. She ran closer to the fire and laughed at me. I don't know why she laughed. _Bit rude. _I lay for a second. It was quite comfortable. _I might snooze._

"You're a silly man!" Isabel stood over me.

_Rude._

"That's not very nice," I told her.

"Neither is Barbossa," she pointed out, as she helped me up. _True._ "But he doesn't have sand between his toes!"

_True again. She is so… wise._

"Do you have sand between your toes? 'Cause I have sand between my toes!" _And Barbossa doesn't… life is so unfair._

"That's cause you're silly," _Rude. _She frowned. "silly!" _Rude again. _She hiccoughed and then looked confused as to where the sound had come from. It made me laugh. She frowned at me again and swayed on the spot. "I want more rum!" she said after some thought. _Great minds think alike._

"But you haven't finished that one," I spotted the one in her hand. She frowned at it.

"No," she shook her head, "No, this is empty silly. Look!" She tipped it up and rum spilled out. _, no! Wasting it! I'll never forgive you. _She looked surprised."Oh, well it's finished now."

"What a waste! You're not allowed another one!"

"But we've got more -hic- more ones!"

_Thank God._

"Wow, yeah we do have a lot!" _In that case I forgive you now_. "How many is that?"

"Hundreds."

_Wow._

"How many hundreds?"

"Hundreds of hundreds!" her eyes were wide.

"That's very much!"

I stared at it all in awe. _I love you, rum. _

"Very, very much," Isabel shared my amazement. She swayed again. _She is so drunk… _I caught her as she fell, but I stumbled too. We both landed on the sand, laughing. _She's very attractive… has she always been this attractive? I should sleep with her. Maybe…_

_**No! Stop it. That's not part of the plan.**__ Change the subject. _

"Let's sing a song!" _Yes, good idea. I am so clever._ 'Lizabeth can join in too."

"No!" she stood up and staggered hurriedly away.

"Why?" I shouted as she left.

"'Cause I'm going to be sick!"

_Lovely._

"What was that about me?"

_Elizabeth! She'll sing with me!_

I stood up, "SING!"

"What?"

_You heard me. "_Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me." I began at the top of my voice. "We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot, Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho!" Elizabeth began to join in and we danced our way round the fire. "We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot, Drink up me 'earties, yo ho. We're rascals, scoundrels, villans, and knaves, Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho. We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs, Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho."

"I love this song!" I announced coming to a stop. _I do love it. I really do. "R_eally bad eggs!" _Will's a bad egg. Yuck. Nobody wants to eat his silly self. Stupid Eunuch. _I fell down again. Elizabeth sat down beside me. I turned to her,_ "_When I get the _Pea_rl back, I'm going to teach it to the whole crew, and we'll sing it all the time!"

_What a good idea. God, I'm clever. _

Elizabeth agreed. "And you?ll be positively the most fearsome pirate in the Spanish Main"

_Wrong._

"Not just the Spanish Main, love." I corrected her. "The entire ocean… The entire world… Wherever we want to go, we'll go. That's what a ship is, you know. It's not just a keel and a hull and a deck and sails that's what a ship needs but what a ship is, what the Black Pearl really is… is freedom."

_I am brilliant with words._ _I do words rightly. _

Isabel came stumbling back out of the bushes and sat down on my other side. She could hardly keep her eyes open and was swaying around as she sat on the sand. I put my arm around her. She smiled at me and leant on my shoulder. Her hair tickled the bottom of my nose. _Smells nice._ I smiled.

"Jack…" Elizabeth leant towards me too. "It must be really terrible for you to be trapped on this island."

"Oh, yes." I put my arm around her too. _This night might just get even better... _"But the company is infinitely better than last time. I think the scenery has definitely improved."

"Mr Sparrow," Elizabeth looked a little bit cross. "I'm not entirely sure that I've had enough rum to allow that kind of talk."

_Good point. Can never have too much rum. _

"I know exactly what you mean, love." I let go of her and pulled my other arm tighter around Isabel's neck so that I could curl my moustache.

_I am so classy._

"To freedom," Elizabeth toasted.

"To the _Black Pearl_." I said, gulping down my bottle of rum.

_The Pearl. God, I love you._

_I am so tired. _My bottle seemed almost finished. Isabel was sleeping on my shoulder. _What a good idea. Just a small sleep would be okay. _

_Just a little one._

_I'll just close my eyes for a little bit… just a little while…_

_Ohhhh… my head._

I thought about just lying there forever. Or at least until my head got better. Then I smelt something.

_Burning._

_Bugger._

My eyes snapped open. My head throbbed in pain. I sat up and looked around. Elizabeth and Isabel were throwing poor, defenceless barrels of rum onto a big fire.

_**NO! This is a crime against rum.  
**_

"What are you doing?" I jumped up. "You've burned the food, the shade… the **rum!**"

"Yes, the rum is gone!" Elizabeth look satisfied as she chucked another barrel on the fire.

"But why is the rum gone?" she hadn't answered the most important part.

"One, because it is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels." _That is a matter of opinion. _"Two," she continued. _Technically, this should be number one seeing as your first point was __**irrelevant.**_ "That signal is over a thousand feet high; the **entire **Royal Navy is out looking for us, do you really think there is a chance that they could miss it?"

_That is no excuse!_

"But why is the rum gone?" I asked again, searching for an answer that made sense. Maybe if it were poisoned… or… _No, that's about the only good reason for destroying a beautiful thing._

"Give it one hour, maybe two," she turned away from me and sat down. She sounded pleased with herself. "Keep a weather eye open and you will see white sails on that horizon."

_I hate you. _Without thinking, I pulled out my gun. My hands shook. _No… best not. Barbossa. _ I put it away and stormed off.

_I hate her. I hate her. I hate her. Get me away. That lying bitch. She tricked me with alcohol… What kind of person would do such a thing…? I would never so such a thing… oh, wait… well that was different! _"Must have been terrible for you to be trapped here Jack, must have been terrible for you," I said in a perfect imitation of her stupid, high-pitched, whiney voice. I turned in her general direction, "WELL IT BLOODY IS NOW!" I screamed. It was meant to be at Elizabeth's distant form on the other side of the island, but Isabel's startled eyes met mine.

_What…? Have you been following me? Bit creepy, darlin'. _

"Oh," I said. She stared at me like I was mad. _Rude._ "I didn't know you were going to be there."

_Were you in on that scheme too? Get away from me._

"Um," she stammered. _You are rubbish. _"I brought you this."

In her hands she held a bottle of rum. Glorious rum.

_I take it back; you are not rubbish in any way. You are perfection. _"You're an angle!" I told her, picking her and the bottle up and spinning them round in a happy little circle. "I might kiss you!"

She look worried and muttered something. I laughed and kissed her forehead before I put her down. I took a swig. It was beautiful. It was almost as brilliant as she was.

"You truly are the most amazing person I've ever met," I said honestly. _And just for that I will share my beautiful rum with you. _"Want some?"

"No thanks," she winced.

"Are you sure? I didn't hear you objecting last night." She winced again at the memory. _No better cure for a hangover than more drink, love. _

"I don't think James would be very happy if I repeated last night," she looked sheepish. _Don't look sheepish. Sheep have no fun. Ever. Just ask one. They won't answer… too boring to talk, you see. _

"He's not here…" I pointed out, waggling the bottle under her nose temptingly, but her eyes were elsewhere.

"Are you sure about that?" she indicated to the sea. I turned and looked. White sails.

"Bloody hell," I said aloud, my good mood vanishing instantly.

_I need more rum. _

I felt a metaphorical heaviness press down on me as some longboats were rowed towards us from the Goon Vessel. Isabel looked as grim as I felt, not too sure why… she wasn't facing the gallows. _Then again, she does have to live with that ridiculous brother of hers. _As the redcoated Goons shoved me very rudely along with them I imagined what it would be like to punch James Norrington in the face. It was a satisfying feeling. Elizabeth, Isabel and I did not say a word as we were rowed towards the _Dauntless._ Not that I was speaking to Elizabeth anyway, this was all her doing.

The women were both carefully escorted aboard the ship, while I was pushed and pulled from every angle. They were keeping a tight hold one me. Maybe so I wouldn't escape, but probably just because I am too amazing for anyone to possibly let go of. They were all glaring at me as if I were sum. _I'm not sum, you're all scummy scummers. _

I studied the redcoated Goons that were nearby, praying that none of them were her ridiculous brother, King Commodore of all Goonkind. Some ginger loon was waving enthusiastically at Isabel, who hadn't spotted him. _Maybe she was just embarrassed to know him. _"Do you have a ginger brother?" I asked her.

"No," she looked at me blankly. "Why?".

"Because that man in is waving at you and it looks like he knows you." I nodded towards the loon. A welcoming smile lit up her face and the man walked over.

"George!" she called. I watched them embrace. There was something about him that I didn't like. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I am usually right about this kind of thing. I'm usually right about most things, actually.

"Isabel, I've been so worried about you!"

_You're softer than Eunuch. _I thought about the Isabel I knew, the one who had held her own at sea and dealt with Barbossa and his crewfull of crazy. I laughed at Ginger Goon... _or George as I should maybe call him. Maybe._ "She can look after herself. Can't you, love?" I smiled at Isabel. She _almost _smiled back before George put a protective hand on her shoulder.

"Don't you talk to her!" he glared at me with venom and hatred in his voice. "It's the gallows for you, pirate." _Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? "_Come on Isabel."

He tried to drag her away from me. "No!" she stood her ground. It made me smile.

"What?" George was shocked. _What a twat._

"Jack's not going to the gallows," she said firmly. _That's my girl._ "He's going free."

_Ha!_

He looked at her like she had gone completely insane. _Told you she could look after herself._ "Isabel, I fear you have sun-stoke." _Ginger Goon, I fear __**you **__may have idiot-stroke._ "This man is a pirate and he tried to kidnap you."

_Were you born this stupid?_

"No George," Isabel spoke slowly, as if to a child. "This man is a pirate and he saved my life. Twice."

"That's right, I did," I grinned. _Clever me. _Ginger Goon glared at me.

"I'm going to fetch some irons," he muttered darkly, "I'll be back soon."

_We won't miss you._

"I don't like him," I told Isabel firmly, as Ginger Goon gooned his way off.

"He's lovely, really," she said. _No… he's a twat._ "He just sees the pirate thing as a bit of a barrier, that's all."

"A bit like your brother, then," I pointed out. "Except ginger_. So basically, you __**do **__have a ginger brother. Speaking of brothers… _I had been keeping an eye on the one and only Goon Norrington. He had been watching George and Isabel as they talked, looking at them as if they were some sort of… investment. I looked at Isabel. _What a waste that would be._ "Do me a favour, love and keep your relationship with him as just friends. If you end up married to someone like him I'd have to shoot myself, or better still; him."

_Him, definitely him. _

She looked confused, but before she could reply, Norrington came striding towards us. "Isabel, what do you think you are doing?"

She paled slightly. "Oh dear, time to face my brother," she whispered to me. _Good luck._ She turned.

"James," she said sweetly and I detected a hint of my own charming tactics about the way she said it. _Proud. _

"Isabel Victoria Norrington!" _Victoria… really?_ "Do you have any idea how much you've out me through?" I could already see him softening. _Any moment now he's going to… there we go. _He hugged her. They had a conversation too quiet for me to hear. _He almost seems… human. Maybe he…_

"Set sail for Port Royale," he snapped, turning to his crew. _Nope, still hate you._

"But what about Will?" I rolled my eyes at Elizabeth's predictable question.

"Elizabeth, we have no time to go gallivanting after pirates," her father said firmly.

"Then we condemn him to death!"

_Much like he did to us…_

"The boy's fate is regrettable, but so was his decision to engage in piracy," Commodore Norrington was carefully steering himself further away from humanity.

"To save me! To prevent anything from happening to me!"

_Oh, for God's sake, this is going nowhere. _

I stepped forward. _Captain Jack Sparrow… always a voice of reason. _"If I may be so bold as to inject my professional opinion. The _Pearl_ was badly damaged after the battle, and it's unlikely she would be able to withstand another one. Think about it, the last real pirate threat in the Caribbean, mate. How can you pass that up?"

The Commodore looked at me with loathing, "By remembering I serve others, Mr Sparrow, not just myself."

He turned his back on me. _Rude._

"Commodore, I beg you, please do this for me… as a wedding gift."

_Oooh… sneaky._

"Elizabeth?" her father looked like this was the happiest day of his life. _What a sad life._ "Are you accepting the Commodore's proposal?"

"I am."

"A wedding! I love weddings!" _I better be invited!_ "Drinks all round!" The Commodore glared at me. _No drinks for me then? No… it would seem not. _"I know, clap him in irons, right?" I sighed. "Although, the imbecile who went off to get them seems to be taking a long time, incompetent fool."

_You should fire Ginger Goon. Out of a cannon. Into a cliff._

"Mr. Sparrow, you will accompany these fine men to the helm." He indicated to the Goons on either side of me. _I wouldn't call them 'fine gentlemen', but… whatever floats your boat, Commodore. _"And provide us with the bearing to Isla de Meurta. You will then spend the rest of the voyage contemplating all possible meanings of the phrase 'silent as the grave'? Do I make myself clear?

_Do you ever not?_

"Inescapably clear."

…_I hate you._


	17. A Gaggle of Idiots

It was ridiculously difficult to steer them in the right direction. Not the ship, the ship was easy to steer, it was those Goons that were the problem. Something about their stupendously thick heads found it difficult to comprehend the idea of a successful compass that didn't point north. I don't know why everyone was so obsessed with North-pointing compasses. North is boring, I've seen it. They spent a lot of time leering over my shoulder. And they did not smell pleasant. Their very faces got on my nerves and I was not in the best of moods.

I could hear Isabel and James squabbling. I glanced over at them. Isabel's faced was flushed and they were trying their best to keep their heated discussion under wraps, but I was fairly confident I could take a wild guess as to what it was about. I started to move towards them.

"But I want to come, James," she said fiercely. "I can help."

I felt a slight surge of pride. _You are brilliant, love. _

"Isabel, you are not coming and that's **final**!" Commodore Goon snapped. And then something really weird happened. I… agreed with him. It almost made me physically sick

"But-" her cheeks flushed with anger.

"_**No**_!" Commodore Goon turned his back on his brilliant sister and walked away. She looked like she was about to scream. She bit her lip.

Her sea-blue eyes fixed on me. "You have to tell him I should come!" she pleaded.

The more I looked at her, the more I agreed with her brother. "No," I said shortly.

She looked as shocked as I had been by my unusual change of heart. "What?" her mouth dropped open.

"It's for the best, love," I said, trying not to look directly at her. Her hurt expression was making me feel something I didn't much care for. I would have said guilt, but of course that couldn't be, because pirates don't feel guilty. Ever.

"Why does nobody think I can help?" she looked forlorn.

"I know you could, love, but I don't want you to come."

That just made things worse. "You **'don't want me to'**?"

"No, you need to stay where you're safe."

"You sound like James!" _Low blow._ "You don't think I'm capable either!"

"Listen!" I said angrily. "I promised I'd get you home and I did. Leave this to me. Our story ends here, Isabel, and you can't come with me!"

I walked away from her. This was probably the last time I'd see her, if all went well. I almost looked back, but I stopped myself. It wasn't that I thought her incapable, she would probably be of more use that any of the Naval Goons. It certainly wasn't that I didn't want her there; it would have been nice to have someone nearby who wasn't a complete idiot. Trouble was, Barbossa had his moments of not being a complete idiot himself. Which was dangerous. I didn't want to think about letting Isabel in to that kind of danger. It was the only thing her brother and I seemed to agree on. Not that this changed anything. He still looked at me with hatred when I cheerfully sat myself down near him in the longboat.

_Rude. Near me is a very good place to sit, Mr Goon._

The boat pushed off.

_Bye, Isabel._

A heavy silence descended on the longboat and stayed with us all the way to the Isla De Meurta.

_Well… you Goons are a barrel of laughs. Do you have a personality between the lot of you?_

"I don't care for the situation," Commodore Goon's dull voice cut across the silence and made it even more boring. "Any attempt to storm the cave could turn into an ambush."

"Not if you're the ones doing the ambushing," I pointed out. _Must I do all the thinking for everyone? _"I'll go in there and convince Barbossa to send his men out in their little boats. You and your mates can return to the Dauntless and blast the Jesus out of them with your little cannons, eh? What do you have to lose?"

Commodore Goon gave me a look of complete disgust. _Well that's not very nice. _"Nothing I'd lament being rid of," he commented dryly. _Meaning me? Rude._

"Now, to be quite honest with you," I glazed over his general rudeness, "there's still a slight risk to those aboard the _Dauntless_, which includes that lovely sister of yours and of course, the future Mrs Commodore."

_Ha! Argue against that, Goon._

I knew I'd won. Winning is not hard when your opponent is an utter fool. I enjoyed how much he obviously hated doing what I wanted him to. He rowed us all back and I was sent out by myself. I tried my hardest not to show how pleased I was until I was a safe distance from the Commodore's judgemental glares.

_I am actually a genius_

I could smell Barbossa and his crew long before I could see them. The idiots were all standing around. I wondered what the collective name for a group of idiots was.

_A pack? A pack of idiots?_

_No…_

_A gaggle maybe? A gaggle of idiots._

"Beg your pardon," I said politely to an idiot in the gaggle who wouldn't move out of my way.

"Begun by blood…" Barbossa began in an overly dramatic fashion.

"Excuse me," I said a little more loudly, but Barbossa didn't notice me, which is unusual because someone as charming and handsome as myself tends to stand out from the crowd.

He continued on with his melodramatic speech, "By blood un-"

"Jack!" It was Will who had noticed.

_Who'd have thought it? The cleverest idiot in a gaggle is a Eunuch…_

I relished in the shock on Barbossa's ridiculously repulsive face. "S'not possible…" he gasped.

"Not probable," I corrected. People are always making that mistake.

Will's eyes were wide. "Where's Elizabeth?" _Is that genuinely the only thing you can ever think? You are about thirty seconds from death…_

"She's safe," I assured him. "just like _I_ promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like _she_ promised. And you get to die for her, just like _you_ promised. So we're all men of our word really except for Elizabeth who is, in fact, a woman."

_And Isabel's fine too, not that you seem to care._

"Shut up!" Barbossa snapped, reminding me that he was there. _Well… that's rude._ "You're next."

_Hahaha no I'm not._

"You don't want to be doing that, mate…" I said calmly.

Barbossa grimaced at me. _Unattractive. _"No, I really think I do."

_No, I really think you don't._

"Your funeral," I shrugged.

Barbossa hesitated, sighed and then took the blade away from Will's throat. "_Why_ don't I want to be doing it?"

"Well, because-" I tried to step forward, but someone had a big heavy hand on my shoulder, which was refusing to move. _Bad. _I slapped it off. _Bad, rude man. "_because the _HMS Dauntless, _pride of the Royal Navy, is floating just offshore. Waiting for you."

A ripple of worry passed through the gaggle of idiots. Barbossa wasn't sure what to do, I liked the confusion on his face. "Why would you-"

"Just hear me out, mate." I cut across him, enjoying the power of knowing more that everyone else. I always know more that everyone else, but I don't often get to flaunt it. "You order your men to row over to the _Dauntless_ and they do what they do best." Everyone laughed. _Naturally. _"Bob's your uncle, Fannie's your aunt; there you are with two ships, the makings of your very own fleet. `Course you'll take the grandest as your flag ship and who's to argue, but what of the _Pearl_? Name me Captain and I'll sail under your colours, I'll give you ten per cent of me plunder and you get to introduce yourself as 'Commodore' Barbossa. Savvy?"

I gave him a winning smile, because I was winning. At everything.

"I suppose in exchange you want me not to kill the whelp?" Barbossa sighed.

_Don't be a fool._

"No by all means kill the whelp," I smiled, picking up four of the cursed coins. "But wait to lift the curse until the opportune moment. For instance, once you've killed Norrington's men. Every-" I threw the first coin back. "-last-"In went the second. "one" In went the third one, the fourth I kept to myself, being careful to brandish my empty hand in front of Barbossa. _Skilful_. I glanced at Will, he'd seen. _Clever Eunuch. This is going so, so well. _

"You've been planning this from the binning ever since you learnt my name!" he pretended to be cross. His performance was a little wooden, but believable enough for someone who thought that lying was immoral.

"Yeah," I nodded.

"I want fifty per cent of your plunder," Barbossa got back down to business.

_I don't think so!_

"Fifteen," I corrected him.

"Forty," he tried.

_Hahaha… no. _"Twenty-five" I said. I saw him start to think about it, it looked like I might be losing him. _Only one way to pull Barbossa back now… hats. _"And I'll buy you the hat. A really big one… Commodore."

_That is the very last time I call you that. _

"We have an accord," he agreed. I was almost sick as he shook my hand. He was not a person I'd particularly want to touch.

_This is perfect. There is literally nothing that can go wrong now._

"FUCK YOU!" _Pardon? _I looked up. A sea of stunned faces looked back at me and then they all turned to the woman storming through them. "You **bastard!**" _Isabel…? This language is not very ladylike. _"What the **hell** are you doing?" _What the hell are __**you **__doing, dressed as a man? _"I thought you HATED HIM! Or was that all lies? What was all that about trusting you? THIS is what we get?" Her hand was on the hilt of her sword and her eyes were burning with rage. _Oh shit, oh shit, I'm in so much shit. Why isn't nobody stopping her?... Why amn't I stopping her? _"You're no different from the rest of them, are you? That was all bullshit. Like you, you're so full of bullshit. I can't believe it. I can't believe we were **stupid** enough to believe a word you said. I wish we'd let you hang! I wish we'd shot you. Hell, I wish I'd shot you myself!" _No… no, love. Please it's not what you think! Wait… why are you not saying this out loud, Jackie?_ She had now come to a stop in front of me. Angry tears made her eyes shine. My stomach twisted unpleasantly and she started to unsheathe her sword. Her lip curled. Her cheeks flushed. It would have been incredibly sexy had she not been about to kill me. I tried to say her name but nothing came out. "You are nothing but a vile-"

_No!_

She crumpled to the ground as Barbossa's bosun, who had recovered from his shock, smacked her across the head with a solid gold statue that had been lying around in the rest of the swag they had acquired. I fought the urge to run to her as she lay motionless. I looked at Will. He only looked mildly concerned, which angered me. _If that had been Elizabeth you'd react differently… God knows why! Can't you see you've picked the wrong one? She's your friend for Christ's sake! Be more bloody worried!_

I looked to Barbossa. _Don't show him that you care._

There was a long pause. "What the hell was that?" Barbossa asked. I brushed it off.

"What? Oh… that? That was nothing."

Barbossa raised a quizzical, bushy eyebrow. "Should we shoot her?"

There was a moment of general agreement. "No!" I said hastily. They all stared at me. "She's the Commodore's sister… could be good leverage."

He nodded. "Alright then."

I turned to the crew. "All hands to the boats!" I said hurriedly. Barbossa glared at me. _Ooops. _"Apologies. You give the orders."

He grinned repulsively. "Gents… take a walk."

_Um… what does that mean?_

"Not to the boats?" I questioned. There was no reply, which was rude. The cave emptied in minutes. Barbossa went to see his gents off. I still didn't understand what they were doing. The minute he was gone I scrambled down the mound of treasure to Isabel's motionless body. Her face was turned to the side; her hair fell over her face.

"Isabel," I said softly, pushing her hair back. It was matted with a little bit of the blood that had trickled down her face. _Please be okay, love, please. _"Isabel," I murmured again. I thought I saw her eyes flutter, but they did not open. I tried getting some of the blood out of her hair with my fingers. "Isabel."

_Yes! Thank God._

Her eyes opened. She looked a bit confused. I had about three seconds before she started swearing and drawing attention to herself again.

* * *

**Coming to the end of CoBP now :O You guys up for me doing the others?  
**


	18. Justice At Last

**Lots of love to everyone who's been reading and reviewing :)  
**

* * *

"Go away!" she was trying her very best to sound strong, but she was so groggy that it didn't really work.

_Bless her. _

"No, Izzy…" _Izzy? When did I decide nicknames were okay?_ "You don't understand. I'm still on your side. I need you to know that, love."

Her eyes widened incredulously. "You weren't on my side; you were going to kill me! Me and everyone else aboard the _Dauntless_!"

_Technicallities... _

"No, love, I wasn't, I swear," I desperately tried to look as honest as possible without making it seem fake. I didn't have a lot of practice in the realms of genuine honesty. "It'll make sense I promise. Barbossa's 'gents' are 'taking a walk' and I don't know where he's gone, but he'll be back soon. Lie still and trust me."

She looked at me for what felt like a very long time. I did not break eye contact. _Come on, love. Please believe me. Please. _She nodded and I felt myself break in to a smile. She turned her head and looked away. _Good lass. _I stood up and began to pick out all the treasure I was going to keep for myself when all of this was over.

"They're away," Barbossa's voice made me turn, it grated against my ears and my last nerve.

"Right," I nodded cheerfully and picked up a statue. _Well… this is a bit funny looking. Is it a man or a woman? I can't tell… Should I keep it…? _

"I must admit, Jack," Barbossa was sounding thoughtful; "I thought I had you figured, but it turns out you're a hard man to predict."

_You can't predict brilliance, mate._

"Me? I'm dishonest and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest." _This statue is creepy and I don't want it. _I threw it down with a clang. "Honestly. It's the honest ones you have to watch out for because you can never tell when they're going to do something incredibly… stupid."

I caught Will's eye. He was paying attention, which is a fairly impressive feat for a Eunuch. They usually think about how much of a Eunuch they are, or they don't think anything at all. It's a scientific fact.

I kicked one of Barbossa's hench-idiots and grabbed his sword as he fell into a pool of water. I threw it to the Eunuch before anyone could react. He caught it, which came as a shock to me. _Clever lad, I had expected you to drop it like a fool. _For the first time in a long time Barbossa and I crossed swords. I knew all his moves, all his tricks, so it wasn't difficult. Trouble was, he knew all mine too. That said, I was surprised that he didn't get a fatal blow in. He, after all, didn't have to worry about dying, so he didn't have to protect himself. Nor did I. But he didn't know that. I blocked his sword as he swung at me and pushed it down and away from us.

_Brilliant._

His head was bowed slightly. _Yes! _With one skilful swipe I slashed the big, stupid feathers on his big, stupid hat in half. _I have always wanted to do that. _Rage erupted from his mouth in a snarl. _Calm down, it's not like I cut your baby in half... you would have very ugly babies. Don't procreate, for their sake. _He sprang forwards, his anger replenishing his energy and his hatred in me. _Bugger! _I blocked him a few times and then managed to turn so that I wasn't balancing on a slippery rock just in front of a deep pool. He tried to corner me by backing me into a huge mound of treasure. Our swords connected and I used mine to push his up so that I was safe to shimmy round. Unfortunately, this meant getting closer to Barbossa than I would ever be comfortable with. I'm barely comfortable being in the same world as him. He looked like he was enjoying it a little too much. He leaned right in close with a crazy glint in his eyes.

"You're off the edge of the map, mate. Here there be monsters," he smiled manically, breathing directly in to my face.

_Your breath is appalling, mate, have you just devoured a long-dead and rotten cat? Shame on you._

I let him drive me up the slope of the cave. _Bugger. _I slipped and fell backwards. I was now at a disadvantage, as he lunged at me again. I fended him off and tried to scramble back up. Barbossa kicked me. _Rude. _

"You can't beat me, Jack," he said, sheathing his sword.

_Oh yes I can. _

I sprang to my feet and rammed my sword through his gut. _Take that, ScraggleBeard! Been longing to do that for ever. _He looked down at it for a second before rolling his eyes and sighing in an incredibly rude fashion. He pulled out the sword from his own body and stabbed it through mine.

_This feels really, really… odd. _

I staggered backwards as Isabel's scream echoed around the cave. I tried not to react to it. The moonlight hit me and illuminated my bones.

_Well… would you look at that? I'm a skeleton._

"That's interesting," I mused looking at my own skeletal hand. _I've never seen the inside of my own self before. _I pulled the piece of cursed treasure from my pocket. I showed off, passing it between each of my fingers and relishing in the look on Barbossa's stupid face. "Couldn't resist, mate." I said. Barbossa grunted angrily at me. _Unattractive. _He sprang back in to action again. I pulled my sword from my own chest and we fought on. This whole immortality deal was incredibly useful.

Now that Barbossa knew I couldn't die I wasn't afraid to push the fight further. It was brutal, but I was brilliant. Obviously. We fought all the way back down to ground level. Barbossa was beginning to tire. He leant back on a moonlight rock.

_I think the decaying look is actually an improvement on you, Barbossa._

"What now, Jack Sparrow?" He asked. "Are we to be two immortals locked in an epic battle until judgement day and trumpets sound, hmm?"

_Oh no, I intend to kill you long before that._

"Or you could surrender," I offered. I took his attempt to cut me in half as a very rude 'no'. Our fight saw us wade across one of the shallower pools in the cave. I was careful to manipulate the situation so that we were both closer to the cursed chest. There was an explosion to our right. Body parts flew in every direction. While Barbossa was momentarily distracted I seized the opportunity to slice the palm of my left hand and clutch the piece of cursed treasure in it. I knocked Barbossa's sword from his hand and threw my blood-stained coin to William. Barbossa had straightened up and pulled out his gun. He had it trained on Elizabeth, probably hoping to use her as leverage.

_I wouldn't be looking so smug if I were you._

I pulled out my own gun and finally got to use that bullet I'd been saving all those years. The shot echoed around the cave. Barbossa looked at me in confusion. "Ten years you carry that pistol and now you waste your shot?"

_I've warned you before about not looking smug._

"He didn't waste it," Will's voice made him turn. Both medallions dropped from his bleeding hand. _Good lad. _ I watched the horror grow on Barbossa's face as he pulled back his coat. Crimson blood seeped onto his shirt out of a gaping wound. He looked back up at me.

"I feel," he said, still in a state of shock. "… cold."

The life left his eyes and he fell backwards.

_Justice._

I walked away from him. It was finally over. After all this time. It was a more serious occasion than I had pictured it to be. Everything I'd done over the last decade had led to this moment. And now it was over.

_Ah, well, I suppose the best way to move forward is to decide what treasure I'm going to take with me now. I think I'll avoid the cursed stuff. _

I picked a pile of swag at random and began rummaging through it.

_This is sparkly and covered in jewels… I think I'll wear these._

I adorned myself with as much as I possibly could. Enough for a King, which is what I would be if Kings weren't so bloody boring. Trust me, I've threatened a fair few in my time. Not one of them ever cracked a joke. I came across a rather funny looking statue.

_I don't want this. It's tacky. Wouldn't have it on my ship._

_**My ship.**_

I thought of the _Pearl _and smiled. Then I threw that hideous statue over my shoulder and enjoyed the lovely crash it made.

_This weird ornament thing…?_

_Nope. No that's a bit scary actually._

Crash. I flung it away.

_Goblet?_

_No, I'd rather drink from the bottle. _

I threw that away too.

_Oooh, a crown. That'll look nice. _

I plopped it on my head. A shadow fell across my treasure pile. I kind of already knew who it was. I wasn't really sure that I wanted to look up. I didn't know how this would go. Or how I'd deal with it.

_Izzy. _

"Hello, love," I smiled as I looked up. _My smile doesn't feel right. I don't feel right. I feel…_

_Sad?_

"Hey," she smiled back. Her smile didn't look right either and I could see why. It wasn't really real. And nor was mine. _I don't like this. _Her eyes left mine for a moment and they brightened. "Nice crown."

_I know. _I really smiled then. I glanced around and found the matching one. I picked it up and placed it on her head.

"Now we match," I commented cheerfully. _Fit for a Queen. Except… Queens don't dress as men. What is she doing? She never did explain…_"It kind of takes away the effect if you're dressed as a man- why are you dressed as a man?"

"To get away from James," was the only thing she could offer as an explanation.

_Ah, explains everything. _

"You know, love, there was no need for it," I tried to appear confident. "I had it under control." She nodded disbelievingly. I hesitated. _Go on, Jackie, just say it. Might as well. _"Although, I am glad you came back."

One of her eyebrows arched. "Well, screaming 'our story ends here Isabel in my face' and storming off is not a decent goodbye," she said. _Touché. _

There was a moment of silence. I looked at her, she was looking down. She looked sad and I didn't like it. I stepped closer. I hesitated before I reached out and put my hand under her chin. I gently guided her face up to look at me. Her eyes were slightly wider than usual, a little bit surprised by how close I was. My other hand was gently tracing a line down her face.

_Remember every detail. You probably won't see it again._.

"Then let's say goodbye properly, darlin`" I said softly. _What am I doing? _She nodded, not breaking eye contact. I began to wind a lock of her hair around my finger. _Seriously, what am I doing? _I leaned towards her. _Are you actually going to try this? Is this happening for real? _She wasn't pulling away. My heart was beating a little bit differently and I wondered whether or not this should concern me. _C'mon, Jackie, you've kissed girls before. This one's no different. Just do it._ I closed my eyes and moved my hand round to the back of her head. Or, at least, I tried to.

**CLANG.**

…_the hell was that?_

We jumped at the sound of my hand had knocking her crown to the ground. We both smiled.

_This isn't a good idea._ _We can't do this. Don't be silly. _

"Maybe," she looked at me. "…maybe it would be best if we just left it with a hug."

I nodded, "Maybe that would be best." I pulled her towards me and squeezed her tight.

"Thank you." Her voice sounded odd. It was only when I felt her body shake in my arms and heard her sob that I realised she was crying. I hugged her tighter. _What's she crying for? I'll have to punch whoever's made her cry squarely on the nose. _"Goodbye,"she whispered and then I realised. It was me.

_Tears... For me?_

_Did this mean I had to punch myself squarely on the nose?_

_Oh._


	19. How Many Boots Does One Hangman Need?

"I'm sorry, Jack," Elizabeth said quietly.

_So am I, love. _

"They done what's right by them," I said listlessly, looking out onto the empty patch of sea where the Pearl should have been floating, waiting for me. "Can't expect more than that."

_You can't expect anything from anybody._

Something warm touched my hand. I looked down as another set of fingers interlocked with my own. _Izzy. _I looked up. Her eyes met mine. Neither of us said a word. There wasn't a need to. We were both thinking the same thing.

_To the gallows it is, then. _

Isabel's grip on my hand tightened and I honestly think it was the only thing stopping them from shaking. She looked so serious, so sad. She leant her head against me and I felt her sigh. I hesitated and then rested my own head on hers. Her hair brushed my nose and I caught a whiff of her scent. _Sweet… like vanilla._ It was strangely comforting. The urge to plant a kiss on the top of her head was overwhelming, but I was acutely aware of Will and Elizabeth's presence in the boat. I looked back out to sea.

_Chances of Commodore Goon clearing my name for bringing his sister back in one piece?_

The _Dauntless _loomed out of the darkness in front of me.

_Next to zero…_

_Well… looks like this might be the end…_

_Don't be foolish, Jacky, how many times have you faced the gallows? _

The drums started up in their usual overly dramatic fashion.

_Never been this close to the actual gallows themselves though…_

_This might, actually, be it._

_This is what happens when you rely on other people._

"Jack Sparrow," said an official looking fellow to my left.

_Oh, for crying out loud!_

"Captain," I corrected him. "Captain Jack Sparrow."

_If you insist on hanging me, the least you can do is get my name right._

He carried on regardless, "Be it known that you have been brought to justice today for you wilful commission of crimes against the crown. Said crimes being numerous in quantity and sinister in nature, the most egregious of these to be cited herewith- piracy, smuggling, forgery, sailing under false colours, looting, impersonating an officer of the Spanish Royal Navy, impersonating a cleric of the Church of England…"

_Hahaha…brilliant._

"Ah yeah," I grinned, turning to the man standing beside me. He didn't laugh. _C'mon… that one's funny, you have to admit. _He didn't even crack a smile. _Why are you so serious? And what's with that mask? Wait… that's creepy… who are you and why are you next to me?_

_He's the executioner._

_Oh._

_That's why._

I turned back to the crowd of people who had come up to the Fort to watch me swing. _At least you've all dressed nicely. _I felt a little bit sick at the sight of them. I hated them all. I saw Commodore Goon standing at the back. I hated him the most. I thought he would be looking smugger than he did. Instead he just looked annoyed.

_I saved your fucking sister, mate. And your fiancée. I'm sorry putting me to death is such an inconvenience for you._

It was then that I saw her. My heart jumped a little. I hadn't expected her to be here, I wasn't sure why. Now that I saw her it seemed like the best thing that could possibly have happened in this situation. Other than me being freed, obviously. Her eyes were full of such genuine grief that I felt so sorry for her; even though I was the one set to hang.

_That can't be right… surely?_

_Then again… she DOES have to live with that brother of hers. And see Eunuch's face every day. My God… the poor lass._

The executioner began to move behind me. _Don't look away, Izzy, please. Don't leave me now. _She kept her eyes on mine and I knew she was with me till the end. Even from here I could see that she was shaking, fighting back tears.

_Someone needs to give that girl a hug. Preferably me. Is it too late for last requests? _

I looked over to the executioner, about to ask him, but thought better of it. When I glanced back at Isabel she had been distracted by something. From what I could see of it with the crowd in the way, it looked like a giant feather was talking to everyone who was standing on Commodore Goon's platform. _That's a bloody big bird. _

Everyone on the platform looked shocked. _Can't say I blame you… something that large must have an incredibly pointy beak._

The giant bird turned and started barging its way through the crowd. Apparently it was also a very rude giant bird. I felt the noose round my neck. _Bugger. _There was a sudden commotion in the crowd. All the women started panicking and gabbling like a bunch of chickens who were worried about losing their heads._ Ah… so you've all noticed the giant bird, have you? It's about time._

_Good Lord…_

… _the giant bird is a Eunuch?_

It wasn't just any old Eunuch either. It was the one called Will. Maybe the most useful Eunuch there's ever been. Not that that's hard, but still. Credit's given where credit's due. He looked up at me from under a hat.

_Oh… it's a hat._

_William… are you aware that there is a giant dead bird on your hat?_

I almost shouted it to him, but then I heard the drumbeats stop. _Bugger. _The trapdoor beneath my feet opened and I dropped. _NO!_

My feet found something incredibly small and extremely slippery. It was almost impossible for me to balance there, but it did save my life. _That is the cleverest thing a Eunuch has ever done. Ever. _

Something red caught my eye as Will charged up the steps to the gallows.

_You've come in a cape….really? Are you aware of how much of a colossal ninny you look?_

I could hear clangs above my head as he began to fight with the executioner. I dangled in between them.

_Emm… William, would you kindly CUT ME DOWN FROM HERE?_

The hem of a dress swished into my line of vision and a split second later Isabel cut me down. I fell to the ground. _Finally. _I jumped up as quickly as possible to see what I'd been standing on. It was a sword. _Useful. _I cut myself free from the bonds tying my hands before running out from under the gallows and pulling that bloody noose off my neck. Will grabbed the other end of the rope and we ran straight into the path of a line of Redcoated buffoons running towards us. Pulling the rope tight, we managed to flip all of them. We got the next line too, before they realised what was happening. I didn't have time to look, but I secretly hoped one of the buffoons was George. As we reached the top of the steps we managed to catch another two in our rope. Like fish in a net, except not as intelligent. I stood shoulder to shoulder with the Eunuch and we pulled the rope tight, pinning them to the pillar on the other side of us. I heard them collapse. Then I dropped the rope and rolled along the ground with my usual smooth flare. Then I realised Eunuch and I had done it in unison and I felt a bit scared.

_Are you copying me, Eunuch…?_

_Ah, well… copying is the highest form of flattery… I suppose. _

We ran to the next pillar, I could almost see the edge of the Fort and my freedom, but I could also see the swarms of Goons surrounding us with their bayonets pointed at us. _It's rude to point, you know. _We were surrounded on all sides.

_Bugger._

"I thought we might have to endure some manner of ill-conceived escape attempt, but not from _you._" Commodore Goon sneered at the Eunuch.

"On our return to Port Royale I granted you clemency and this is how you repay me?" The Eunuch was also not in Governor Goon's good books. "By throwing your lot in with him? He's a pirate!"

_Well observed…_

"And a good man," two voices spoke at once. I looked at the Goons around me to make sure that they knew that it was me they were speaking about.

_Yeah… that's right, two people think I'm a good man. And how many people think you're good? None. Because you're shit._

I looked back as Isabel stepped forward and stood in front of me. She looked fierce, defiant… protective. Her brother was not best pleased, as you can imagine.

Will looked nervous, but did his best not to show it. "If all I have achieved here is that the hangman will earn two-"

"Three," Isabel piped up and her jaw clenched.

_He wouldn't hang his own sister… surely?_

"Three," Will corrected himself, slightly annoyed by the interruption to the most intelligent speech of his life. _I really have taught this lad something, good for me._ "pairs of boots instead of one then so be it…" _How many boots does one hangman need? Greedy bugger. _"at least my conscience will be clear."

_Conscience? I am unfamiliar with this word._

"You forget your place, Turner," the Commodore was almost shaking with rage. I noticed Isabel give and involuntary flinch.

Will took a deep breath. "It's right here; between you and Jack."

"As is mine," Elizabeth stepped forward and stood beside her beloved Eunuch. Everything was as it should be. Elizabeth's father immediately started panicking. All bayonets were lowered.

_Put them down now, come on…_ Every last one was lowered._ Yeah… that's what I thought._

"So this is where your heart truly lies then?" the Commodore stammered, looking like a lost, yet incredibly stupid little puppy.

"It is," Elizabeth admitted.

_A Eunuch gets the girl… who'd have thought it, eh?_

It was then that a brightly coloured and beautifully familiar parrot caught my eye. _Cotton. _My spirits were lifted immediately.

"Well, I'm actually feeling rather good about this." I said truthfully, wandering over to get a good look at Governor Goon. "I think we've all arrived in a very special place, eh?"_ I don't know what you're wincing at, mate, you don't smell so great yourself_. "Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically." I approached the Commodore, "I want you to know that I was rooting for you, mate. Know that." _Best to keep you on side… Any chance of you letting me take Isabel with me? _His glare gave me an answer without me having to ask. _No? Alright then…In that case-_ "And look after that sister of yours, she's a gem." _Learn to appreciate it. _I began to walk towards freedom, and then I hesitated. "Elizabeth," I looked at her, "It would never have worked out between us, darling. I'm sorry." _You are just far too boring._ "Will-" _Don't call him a Eunuch, don't call him a Eunuch, he just saved you._ "Nice hat." _I'm lying, it's hideous, but it'll give others a good laugh. _My eyes met with Isabel's and I faltered. For the first time in my life I didn't know what to say. _Be alright, love. Be happy... don't drown. _She nodded; she understood there was no need for words. I addressed the crowd and began backing my way to freedom, "Friends!" _I'm lying again, I hate most of you._ "This is the day you will always remember as the day that-"

_Bugger. _

I tumbled through the air far earlier that I'd meant to and landed in pretty much the same spot I had saved a Drowned Girl. _Well… that put a damper on my dramatic exit. _I pushed myself back up to the surface. There was a shout from the Fort. I turned to see my beloved, beautiful _Black Pearl _sailing towards me.

_Has there ever been a more beautiful sight?_

_No._

I started the long swim towards what was, and always had been, rightfully mine. I could hardly keep my eyes from her, but then salt got in them and it became a little bit difficult to swim. I was so happy to see her black sails that the swim didn't even tire me out. Cotton threw me a rope and I was hoisted in to the air. I landed by the wheel and looked up at Gibbs.

"Thought you were supposed to keep to the Code?" I challenged.

He looked shifty. "We figured they were more actual… guidelines."

_Haven't heard that one before…_

I offered me his hand and I allowed him to pull me to my feet. _Good man. _Cotton handed me my hat. _Oh, thank God. _I thanked Cotton too, just to be polite. "Captain Sparrow," said a voice. _Finally… somebody remembered the 'Captain'. _Anna Maria draped my coat over my shoulders. "The _Black Pearl _is yours."

I took the wheel of my ship.

_My ship._

_Mine._

I ran my hands along the wood. _You've not changed a bit, not even in the hands of that great oaf._

_Oh… everyone's looking at me._

"On deck you scabrous dogs!" I ordered. "Man the braces! Let down the haul to run free."

They scattered to their stations. It was as if I had never been parted from my beloved _Pearl. _"Now, bring me that horizon…" I muttered to myself. _Reminds me of a certain shanty… _I began to hum it, pulling out my compass.

_Where to now then?_

I opened it up and waited for the needle to stop spinning.

_Oh._

_That's odd._

It was pointed in the exact opposite direction from the one we were headed to. It was pointing **back **to Port Royal.

_Well… that can't be right._

_Nothing there for me…_

_Unless…_

_No! Don't even go there, Jacky. _

_Maybe it's broken._

_Yes that's it. It must be broken. _

"… and really bad eggs," I finished aloud. "Drink up me hearties yoho."

I snapped my compass shut. I didn't want to look at it anymore. _It's never behaved this oddly before. _I looked up at Port Royal one last time. Nothing good had ever come out of there. Well… except….

_Farewell, Izzy._

* * *

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	20. A Misbehaving Compass

**So, I've decided to do a little bit of what happens between CoBP and DMC and just run this as one continuous story. Unless it all goes pair-shaped, in which case I'll stop :P  
**

**Anyway, hope you like it :)  
**

* * *

_My God you're annoying._

_Please… just work. _

The needle of my compass stubbornly stayed pointing to Port Royal. It had been like this for a whole day; even though I had told it countless times that I didn't want to go there. I couldn't work out why.

_Port Royal is the last place I want to be._

_Please, stop pointing there. _

I shut the lid, picked it up and shook it around a little. I stared at it for a long, long time. _Behave. _I opened it up. It spun round about three times and stopped.

_No!_

_Did I ask you to lead me to what I least want in this whole world? No. I didn't, so please stop showing me!_

I did it again. Three spins and then back to the usual.

_This is just getting rude now. Three is not enough spins to get anything right._

"Capt'n," Gibbs barged in without knocking. _Rude. _I slammed the Compass shut, feeling a sudden need to hide it from him.

"What!" I snapped. He looked a bit taken aback. I felt angry and unusual, but wasn't sure why. I blamed my Compass's recent misbehaviour.

"We were just wondering… what the plan is?" he continued. I thought I caught him looking at my Compass. He wouldn't trust it if he knew it was acting up. I slyly leant in front of it and blocked it from his view. It did mean that I had to stand at a rather funny angle, but I'm sure he didn't notice. He was frowning a lot, perhaps a bit too much. But that was probably just because he's a grumpy old sea-dog and not because he was suspicious of my peculiar lean, which had me balanced at an uncomfortably odd angle.

"The plan?" I repeated.

"Well… yes, do we have a heading, Capt'n?"

_Well… you're nosy aren't you?_

"Isla de Meurta," I said quickly. _Oohh… that's a good idea, well done me. _"You know the way." He looked confused now. Which was both a little bit insulting that he doesn't trust the meticulously well-planned plans that I come up with on the spur of the moment and also a boringly normal Gibbs expression.

"Um… Capt'n?" he said slowly. "We're going there… again?"

_God… you're thick. _I nodded. "There's treasure to be had there, Gibbs." I reminded him.

His eyes widened and he looked cheerful again. If there's one thing that cheers Gibbs up, it's the promise of something shiny. He's a bit like a magpie in some respects. Except he can't fly and he doesn't shit where it's not needed. "Aye," he said enthusiastically. "Aye, so there is! I'll away and tell the crew."

_Yes, please leave._

"Good idea." I dismissed him and turned back to my maps. _Right, Compass, let's get you sorted out._

"Er…" Gibbs stammered in the doorway. _What is it now you idiot? _"What about the curse?"

_Good God man… anyone would think you were a Eunuch. _I eyed him suspiciously. "It's not _ALL _cursed, Master Gibbs… we'll just have to keep all the idiots away from that one chest." _Idiots like you. _He nodded gormlessly and left me in peace. I looked back at my Compass.

It looked back at me.

_Cheeky. _

I repositioned it on top of the map.

_Right, let's do this._

I placed my fingers around the edges.

_Properly this time._

I opened it up again.

_Quick! Don't look at it, it might feel pressured._

I closed my eyes and listened. I thought really hard about everything that wasn't Port Royal. I had a good feeling about this one. This was it; this was the one where it would start working again. I heard the needle stop. I opened my eyes.

_NO! NO! DO AS YOU'RE TOLD!_

* * *

_Well… I wasn't expecting this…_

…_Bugger._

"Ah," Gibbs's voice broke the silence that had been hanging around in the air like a bad smell. "It's not quite…"

"Not quite what you were expecting?" I said.

"Well, yes, but… it's not quite… _there _anymore," he finished. He had a point. In the spot where the Isla de Meurta had been was now just a few pointy rocks. You can't do anything with pointy rocks. Except sink a ship, but that's not particularly useful. Unless it's someone else's ships and that someone else is trying to kill you. The sea had done what she often does and taken something shiny from me at the most inopportune moment. No wonder Gibbs was so depressed.

"Yes. I can see that, Master Gibbs," I said.

"So…" someone else piped up. I looked him up and down. _Who are you and where did you come from? _ I did not recognise his face and was therefore a bit suspicious of it. "What do we do?"

_Yeah… I don't like you._

"Well… obviously we'll have to slightly change our plan," I said and wandered off before anyone else could come up with another awkward question. Gibbs followed me, as is the norm for him. I'm not sure what he does with his life when I'm not in it. I'm not sure who he follows. I hope it's not just any stranger. They might find it creepier than I do.

"Capt'n," he said.

"What?" I stopped in the door of my cabin and turned to look at him.

"Do we… have a plan?"

_Erm…_

"Gibbs… do you trust my judgement?"

"Well…" he hesitated. _No! Don't hesitate. It's not trust if you have to hesitate._

"Gibbs!"

"Erm… yeah," he said weakly. It was most unconvincing.

"Good," I nodded and shut the door in his face. He was driving me crazy, all of them were. I sighed and slumped down in my chair. _I wish there was someone here worth talking to. _My Compass seemed to look at me. The needle was annoying pointy and it annoyingly pointed its pointy self to bloody Port Royal. _Oh… don't you start again. _I snapped it shut so it would stop annoying me. Then Port Royal itself seemed to look at me. I stared at it, touched it gently with my finger.

_What is it about you? I don't understand._

There was nothing special about Port Royal. Nothing. It was a hateful little place with hateful little ships and hateful little buildings.

_Did I leave something there… or…? _

A burst of frustration welled up inside me and I hurriedly pushed the stupid little map with the stupid little Port away from me. F_orget it, Jacky. Out of sight, out of mind. _I stood up, kicked my desk. A bottle of rum fell to the ground. _Perfect. _I picked it up and swigged down the remainder of the bottle. I was immediately in better spirits. _Much better. _

I became aware of raised voices and shouts from outside my Cabin. Gibbs popped his head round the door and I could see at once that it was actually something of importance this time. "What is it?" I asked immediately.

"Norrington," his eyes were wide. Something inside me gave a start, like the little jolt you feel when a ship pitches violently and unexpectedly.

"Which one?" I asked automatically. My voice sounded odd.

"I think we can safely assume it's the Commodore," said Gibbs. "Considering that Isabel doesn't have her a ship and probably won't be allowed near one for the rest of her life."

_Shame that… poor lass._

"Of course," I said. _Stupid question, really. _I grabbed my spyglass and headed out on to the deck. I was surrounded by panicking idiots, but I didn't let it affect me. I'm used to being surrounded by idiots and panicking ones are very much the same as calm ones, only they're a little more high-pitched. Sure enough, I could see white sails that were a bit too close for comfort. I raised my spyglass to have a good look. Definitely a Goon. Definitely the Commodore. "Aye, that's him right enough." I said. "What do you suppose he wants?"

I quickly scoured the rest of the Goon deck, but there were no familiar or friendly faces. I heard a bang as the Commodore fired at us. _Bit rude. Why are you always trying to kill me?_ He was out of range and missed by a lot, for once I didn't think it was just down to his idiocy alone. He was obviously sending a message. _You're out to kill us, message received. _"I don't think it's a friendly chat he's after," Gibbs noted. I had to agree with him. I kept watching the Naval Goons, I'm not too sure why. I could feel Gibbs staring at me. "Orders, Capt'n?" he asked.

I looked up at the sails. There were still holes in them from Barbossa's lack of caring about my ship. I hadn't been surprised by it, given his lack of care over himself and his own shoddy appearance, but I would have to have them patched up. I hoped Gibbs was good with a needle. "Get more wind in these sails," I said. "We need to gather speed if we're going to get away."

"Get away?" he repeated. "We're not going to fight then?"

"No," I turned away from him and walked towards the wheel.

"But, sir, I think we could-"

"No," I cut across him. "We're not sinking that ship."

"But-"

"NO!"

There was a pause. "Is this because of Isabel?" he asked quietly. I felt that silly jolt course through me again and turned to him at once, glancing around to make sure that nobody else was listening.

"What?" I asked, as if I hadn't heard.

He didn't repeat himself. "Because… I don't think she's on that ship, Capt'n. It's just the Commodore."

I stared at him for a long time. "You think she's in Port Royal?" Gibbs nodded. "And if he dies out here, by my hand, who's going to look after her? What will she do then?" He didn't have an answer. _I'm not going to be to blame for her misery, not matter how much I'd like to see him dead._ I turned to the rest of the crew, who were all gathering to question me over what we should do, and spoke for all of them to hear. "Not one cannon is to be fired at that ship, do you hear me? Not one **single** one. Unless it is absolutely necessary, and by that I mean life or death… understand?" They all sort of nodded and muttered unconvincingly. I raised my voice. "I said **do you understand?**"

There was a terrified chorus of, "Aye, aye, sir" from all around.

"Good," I nodded at them. "Let's get moving then. Come on!"

They all sprang in to action at once. I took a hold of the wheel and glanced back at the Goon Vessel.

_Where's a big pointy rock when you need one?_

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	21. Capt'n

_Why won't you leave us alone?_

Every time I looked over my shoulder I saw the annoyingly white sails of the Goon Vessel that had been creepily stalking us for a long time and doing its best to blow us to smithereens. It wasn't an ideal situation. It was a little bit inconvenient, truth be told, and I was getting a bit sick of it. It was a good job that the King's Navy weren't all that intelligent or we'd probably have been caught. I've never understood why the King thought it would be a good idea to put his stupidest subjects in charge of his ships. Perhaps it was because if they were on the sea they wouldn't be there to muck up his Kingdom

_That's quite a good idea actually. _

I eyed my crew, wondering if I should banish any of them to the Kingdom so that they wouldn't muck up the sea.

"Capt'n!" said Gibbs, "they're catching up." Even he sounded bored of saying it, which is saying something because if anyone loves a bit of melodrama over something we've all seen before, it's Gibbs. I looked up from the wheel.

"You know what to do," I told him. He sighed and turned to the crew.

"Right, lads!" he called. "Let's get some more wind in these sails!"

There was a sort of collectively tired grumble from everyone on deck. _Little bit rude, but I'll let it pass. _I looked up at the sails of my beloved beautiful ship. They were damaged from Barbossa's idiocy. If you're going to steal a ship from someone the least you can do is take care of it. _My poor, bedraggled Pearl. He wanted you looking as scraggly as his beard. _That was the reason that we couldn't outrun the Goons completely. Yes, the _Pearl _is the fastest ship in the Caribbean and she could still beat a Goon Vessel even with her sail damage, but she couldn't leave them out of sight. She needed repairing. Fast.

"Right, lads," I called to get them to look back at me. "Change of plan. We're going to do some sewing."

_Don't look at me like that, it's rude._

* * *

_Bugger. _The needle stabbed through my thumb and I cursed it. Stupid thing.

_Sewing is hard…_

Gibbs grumbled to himself in the corner before throwing down what he was doing in frustration. "Capt'n… this is naught but woman's work."

This earned him a kick from Anna Maria. A kick which he should have seen coming. "Do your duties, Master Gibbs," I said calmly.

"But… Capt'n…" he continued. I sighed.

_Why must you always be so whiny?_

"Get it done. We need to fix the _Pearl _if she's to be of any use," I said. Gibbs picked up what he had been doing and reluctantly began fashioning a black patch to mend the sails with. I finished the one I was on. It was, of course, brilliant. The best patch out of the lot. Obviously. The rest of my crew were like monkeys. It's difficult to work with such imbeciles sometimes, there's a lot of responsibility that comes with being the only clever one on a chip. Tis just one of the many reasons that I am Captain. I handed it to Ragetti so that he could attach it to the sail and stood up. Everyone looked miserable. I smiled at them to lift their spirits. "I'll leave you gents to it."

Before anyone could do any more whining or complaining I walked away from them and took to the wheel. I felt much more comfortable there than I did sewing. At least the wheel did not puncture my thumb until it had more holes in it than there were grains of sand on a beach. Needles were fickle fellows. I did not see us getting along in the foreseeable future.

I was allowed a few moments of peace at the wheel. It was a very lovely day. There is nothing better than being at sea on a lovely day. It had been so long since I had been able to be at sea at the helm of my own ship. I relaxed and smiled at the horizon in front of me, which was completely clear. Not one tiny bit of land in sight.

_Just how I like it._

There wasn't a single bit of land I wanted to see. _Well… I might want to see Tortuga sometime soon, but not just yet._

… _and perhaps it wouldn't be completely awful to pay a quick visit to-_

_No! Stop thinking about Port Royal._

"Capt'n!" Gibbs's frightful face gave me a fright. _My God man! Will you never leave me alone?_

"Yes, Master Gibbs?" I sighed.

"We were just wonderin'," he began. I raised an eyebrow at him. "I mean, me an' the lads… we just wanted to know if… if ye have a heading in mind?"

_Why is everyone so obsessed with that issue?_ "Yes," I lied. My hand automatically closed over my Compass, so that it couldn't tell on me. I noticed Gibbs noticing it, but we both pretended neither of us had done any noticing of anything at all. I saw that Gibbs was about to question me again. "How many times to I have to ask you if you trust my judgement in being Captain of this ship?"

"Well…" he stuttered. _Choose your next words carefully, mate. _"I suppose you have been a Captain for almost thirteen years, even if it hasn't strictly been _on _the _Pearl._"

_Yes. Exactly._

_Wait… WHAT?_

"What!" My voice was much louder than I thought it would be and a little bit higher. I hoped that I didn't sound silly. "What did you say?"

Gibbs look alarmed and shrank away from me a little. "I… um… even if it hasn't strictly-"

"No!" I snapped. "Not that you idiot, the bit before."

"…You've been a Captain for almost thirteen years…" he looked tense.

_Bugger. This changes everything._

I felt a bit sick. "God, you're right… so I have." I shut the door in his face. It was now absolutely vital that my Compass learnt to not piss me off. This little reminder from Gibbs was certain to kick it in to action. Now that my priorities were in order it would surely point to what I wanted.

_I want to live._

I felt peculiar. Hot and cold all at the same time. And a little bit shaky. Maybe I was ill.

_Or scared._

_No, don't be silly. It'll be fine._

I opened my Compass, sure that this time it would show me what I needed. It spun more than three times this time and refused to come to any kind of definite conclusion. _Well… this is even less helpful than before. _Stupid indecisive thing.

_I need a plan._

I stared at the compass for a few seconds, but the incessant spinning made me angry. Not for the first time I slammed the lid shut. I put my head in my hands and closed my eyes to have a think. This was going to be difficult.

_Come on Jacky, how you going to beat the Devil?_

_Can't be that hard… can it?_

_Just know your enemy. Jones. Davy Jones. What do we know about him?_

I realised with a sinking feeling that I was going to have to pay a visit to another jail cell. And this time it wouldn't be breaking out of it that I was going to have a problem with.

It would be breaking _in_.

_Well… bugger me. _

I sat back, allowing myself a moment to sort my thoughts out. They have a dreadful habit of disarranging themselves in to the most unhelpful order that they can. It's all a bit rude of them really.

"Capt'n!"

_**If I bloody hear that one more bloody time today I'm bloody banishing you all to a faraway place with no rum. **_

"What is it, man?" I snapped. Gibbs looked too frightened to be offended by my tone.

"Storm on the horizon… looks pretty bad. It could be a hurricane, sir." No wonder he was shaken. I jumped up immediately, grabbing a map. This was serious.

"Land," I said, brushing past him on the way out of the door and calling to the rest of my restless crew. "Let's get the _Pearl _to land as quickly as possible."

"Which direction, Capt'n?" Marty asked.

I looked down at the map in my hands. "I believe our nearest Port is Tortuga," I announced, which lifted everyone's spirits dramatically.

_At least one thing has gone right today. _

_As long as we don't die on the way there of course._

* * *

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	22. Time In Tortuga

"I'll tell you…" the man's words ran together as I bought him another drink. "I'll tell you where you can find Jones's chest."

"And where might that be?" I asked, leaning back and taking a sip of my own pitcher of rum. He belched. _Classy._

"You need… you need the key first."

"Aye, I'm working on that," I tried not to get rattled. Drunk people can be so foolish. I'm not a foolish drunk. Obviously. I am eternally clever. A lot of time drink only serves to sharpen my brilliance. "But where is the Chest?"

"It's…" his fingers aimed for the Charts I was showing him, but missed. I leant towards him to try and see where he was attempting to point. "It's buried."

"Yes I know… but _where?" _I slid the Charts closer across the table towards him in an attempt to coax a correct answer from him. _This is more difficult than getting a wench to agree to sleep with you for free. _

"You need the key to get in to the Chest," he said.

_Not this again._

"Yes, I know."

"You need the Chest _and _the key. Together."

"Yes I know, but I need to know where the Chest is…" I prompted.

His stupid, drunk face lit up. "I can tell you where to find the Chest."

"Can you really?" I said sarcastically. "I had no idea."

He looked pleased with himself, "Isla de Cruces."

_Finally._

I stood up, taking my drink and the Charts with me. "Thank you Captain… Whatever-your-name-is."

He slurred his thanks for the drink. He needn't have bothered. I'd stolen his wallet earlier in the evening, so technically he'd been paying. Gibbs approached me. "How'd it go?"

"Painfully," I said, dumping the Charts on Gibbs and scanning the rest of the tavern. "But we have a heading."

I gulped down the rest of my rum. "That's good news Cap'n… so-"

"Excuse me, Master Gibbs," I said lifting his drink from his hands and finishing it for him. It rendered him slightly speechless. _What? It's not like you were drinking it. _"But I have… eh… other business to attend to. I walked towards Scarlette at the other end of the bar.

_This is such a good idea._

* * *

_This wasn't as good of an idea as I thought this would be._

Scarlette's lips were on my neck. The vast amounts of beautiful rum in my bloodstream was making the walls behind her spin and her face was all strange and out of focus. "It's just…" I said, taking another sip of rum. "It's just that she has really nice hair."

"Jack…" Scarlette wasn't listening at all, which was rude, but the rum made me want to continue talking.

"Even when it's messy, it's still nice."

"Mmhmm," a disinterested Scarlette pushed me on to my back. My rum almost spilled. _What a waste. _I downed some more to keep it safe.

"And her eyes," I used my free hand to turn Scarlette's face towards mine. She looked confused. I tried to focus on her eyes. _They're not the same. _"They're so…"

Scarlette pulled away from me. "Jack, are we going to do this or not?"

"Yes," I said quickly, but I wasn't really so sure. This had seemed like a good idea when I was sober, but now I was slightly intoxicated… _What's wrong with me? Snap out of it. _I pulled Scarlette back towards me and kissed her to make the odd empty feeling in my chest go away. It did not have the desired effect. _The last time I was this drunk I was…_ I pulled away again. Scarlette smiled and began to whisper in my ear. Whatever she was saying was no doubt titillating, but I couldn't seem to hear it. My head was full of the echo of a beautiful laugh and the room in front of me faded. It was replaced by a smell of salt and sand and a crackling fire. A girl spun in front of it with a blissful smile on her face. The empty feeling was instantly gone.

_We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot, Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho._

The girl stumbled towards me, her eyes full of laughter. I laughed too. Those eyes.

_We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot, Drink up me 'earties, yo ho._

She stumbled. I caught her and lay beside her on the sand.

_We're rascals, scoundrels, villans, and knaves, Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho._

We sat side by side by the fire, there was someone else there too, but it was someone I didn't care about. I put my arm around her and she rested her head on my shoulder. Her hair tickled the bottom of my nose. I smiled and waited for the sweet scent I knew should wash over me. _Smells… all wrong._

The dirty, damp inn room came spinning back down. Scarlette's crimson hair was tickling my nose. _No. That's not... she's not..._

"You're…" I was feeling drowsy. _Too much drink… No! Never! Not enough. More… _

"Yes, Jack?" Scarlette simpered as she pushed my shirt off my shoulders.

_Oh… rum's all gone._

_That's sad. _

"Go on, Jack… What am I?" Scarlette prompted between all the pleasurable, but predictable things she was doing with her mouth on my chest. "Tell me what I am…"

"You're… not like her," I finished. She sat up and looked at me. One of her eyebrows shot up.

_God… I'm too tired for this._

"And… what is _she_?"

I closed my eyes and saw her smiling.

"Beautiful."

_Ouch! _Scarlette's palm slammed into my cheek. My eyes opened but they couldn't really see anything. _…the bloody hell was that for? _Scarlette clambered off me. I heard the door slam, but I was too tired to feel disappointed. I kept my eyes open long enough to blow out the candle. The last remaining line of a song wove its way through my thoughts.

_We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs…_

Something inside me reached out in to the darkness. I hoped that somewhere, somehow, she was reaching out for me too.

_Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho…_

_Goodnight, Isabel. _

* * *

_Oh God… oh God, what sweet hell is this?_

It felt like there were several blades stuck into my brain. Maybe there was. _Commodore Goon better not have taken advantage of my drunken stupor and run his goon sword through my head… that would be nothing but rudeness. _I opened one eye very slowly. The bright light gave me eye-ache, but there was not a Goon in sight. I opened my other eye and Gibbs's face loomed over me.

_My God, that's worse than seeing a Goon stab me in my own head. _

I got such a fright that I leapt up and out of the bed. "Cap'n!" Gibbs's voice was unnaturally loud. My head throbbed as I stood up beside him.

"Must you should like that?" I asked hoarsely. My throat was painfully dry.

"I wasn't," he said as loudly as before.

"Oh," I winced.

He dropped his voice to a whisper. "Is this better?"

"Much," I whispered back. "Now what is it?"

Gibbs was looking around the room in awe. I looked around too and soon saw what he was shocked by. There was hardly a thing out of place. I also, worryingly, had a vast majority of my clothing on. "Cap'n…" Gibbs was as surprised by this as I was. "What happened here?"

"I don't remember."

"Did you not…"

"Don't be silly." _Surely I'd not gone to bed alone. That would be absurd. No… of course not. I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. There's not a wench in this Port who can resist me. _"Now, what you rudely wake me up to say?"

"The hurricane's past," he grinned and for once his stupid grin didn't annoy me.

_Brilliant. _

"Finally," I muttered and it was time to go.

* * *

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	23. In A Turkish Prison

_Oh God this place is dire… I think it might even be worse than Port Royal. _

The rotting corpse of a man leered at me in the dull light of the day. His eye sockets were black and empty and his most of his flesh had been ripped off, revealing a few fragments of his muscle and bones. I could only assume that it had been devoured by the suspiciously well-fed crows that were squawking around the place in an annoying fashion.

_Well at least the people here are more attractive than Commodore Goon…._

This prison was much more impressive than the one at Port Royal. It took up the whole island. There was even a long, narrow bridge with a hefty drop for prisoners to be dragged along in chains that was lined with giant bird cages. But they weren't for birds, they were for people. And the birds pecked at those people, so really they were more like bird feeders. It all made me feel a little bit sick. I made a mental note to tell Commodore Goon (if I ever saw him again) that I'd been in a prison that was bigger and better than his.

"Excuse me," the guard looked a bit confused as to why I was just wondering around the prison, without guarding anything or being guarded myself. "What are you doing here?"

"Official business," I said shortly, waving a piece of paper under his nose too quickly for him to read it, but slowly enough that it didn't look suspicious. He nodded and I carried on walking.

_Idiot._

_Was it just me, or did he look a bit …? _

_No…. don't be ridiculous. _

I glanced behind me; the guard was watching me walk away with narrowed eyes. I saw him beckon one of his fellow idiots over. Without looking too suspicious, I sped up. _You have no idea how long it took for me to work my way in here, mate, you're not ruining it for me now._

Each corridor was lit with crude torches, but there were barely enough of them. The cells were crowded. Stank of piss. I counted each locked door and tried not to breathe too deeply. I stopped at fourteen. Rows of miserable eyes looked back at me. Nobody spoke. I looked at them all, scanning their dejected faces. "I'm looking for Stern," I said. "Harold Stern."

There was a short silence. "Me," said a shaky voice from the corner. A short, thin man stood up and walked towards me, stepping over his cellmates who were still staring at me with hollow eyes. He stood nervously in front of me, clearly not quite sure what to make of my appearance. It was rather… distinctive, I'll admit. And not my usual sort of distinctive either. It wasn't my naturally handsome good looks that made me so distinct this time; it was the respectability with which I had dressed myself in.

_Repulsive._

I felt more than slightly uncomfortable. It didn't help that it had been crafted by my crew on the journey here. As I had already discovered, sewing was not their forte. It may not have been all that convincing, but it had done its job and got me in… even if it was unravelling slightly.

_I'll bet that was Gibbs… shoddy work._

"Why do you need to see me?" he asked tensely, unable to make up his mind about my appearance.

"You've had dealings with Jones, yes?" I said quietly. At the mention of his name, Stern recoiled a little. I could see the sparks of fear in his eyes.

"Who wants to know?" he sounded genuinely terrified.

_That'll be a 'yes' then._

"I do," I said. "I have a debt to pay him."

He looked a bit more relaxed now that he knew I wasn't working for Jones. He shook his head, "You can't beat him."

_Mate… I'm Captain Jack Sparrow._

In the interest of being as quick as possible, I chose to ignore his previous comment. "I need to know about the key."

"You'll need the Chest," he reminded me. _I am sick of hearing this. _

I sighed, "Yes, I know about the Chest… but what of the key?" He hesitated. I pulled the key to his cell door out of my pocket as a little motivation for him. Everyone around him in the cell gave a start at the sight of it.

"He keeps the key safe," he said quickly. "It'll be difficult to find, but it's very distinctive."

"What does it look like?" Stern hesitated again before pulling some old cloth and charcoal out of his pocket. I waited patiently as he began to write something down. I watched him, but listened to the noise around me. The guards were sounding a bit restless. I silently willed him to hurry up.

"This is it," he held up a drawing of a key. I reached through the bars to take it from him. "But… I don't see how you'll get it off him."

"Well, you just let me worry about that, eh?" I moved to the door and slipped the key in to the lock. Everyone in the cell was immediately on their feet. As the key clicked in the lock there was a shout from behind me.

"Hey! You!"

_Bugger._

"Gentlemen," I said, stepping back and letting them pour out of the door. Shots were fired behind us as we all began to run into the maze of corridors that made up the Turkish prison. It was every pirate for himself, but I had a plan which put me at an advantage. First, I had to lose my ridiculous disguise. It made me stand out and therefore I was an easy target for the guards. It was a bit brightly coloured and unravelling to go unnoticed. I was sure Gibbs had added a few too extra decorative buttons for it to be realistic. _He needs to sort himself out. _

I pulled off the long overcoat as I rounded a corner. My ordinary clothes underneath would make it easier for me to blend in. I had been sweating with two coats on. For a moment I thought about taking off my magnificent tricorn hat so that I would stand out less, but the thought of doing that physically upset me. I let my dreads fall back into place from where they had been hidden under it and put it back on my head after throwing my makeshift 'official' uniform into a dark corner and heading downwards.

The shots were fading away, but I had to keep an eye out for other guards. The prison was getting louder as more guards joined in the chase and raised the alarm. After each twist and turn there were fewer and fewer people running in the same direction as me. We all split up down different corridors and passageways. I mentally wished them all luck, but I knew there was only one way to get out. It was something my father had told me a long time ago about this particular prison.

_You only get out if you're dead._

So, that's what I was going to do. Except I wasn't actually going to be dead, I was just going to pretend for a bit.

Deep down the bowels of the prison was the morgue. You could smell it miles off and it was not pleasant. I could hear people running behind me. I didn't know if they were guards or prisoners, but I wasn't prepared to hang around to find out. I darted in to the last room. Coffins lined the walls, stacked and piled one on top of the other. I jumped up and opened the lid of the nearest one. A shot rang out in the corridor outside as I leapt in to it. I could hear footsteps that were getting louder. I pulled the lid down behind me just as a shadow appeared in the doorway.

Inside the coffin the darkness was so complete it was depressing.

_No wonder dead people are so sombre all the time._

I heard someone move around outside of my claustrophobic coffin. I held my breath. They walked right in and I heard things being moved, but my hiding place stayed still. The footsteps left. I let out a sigh of relief. It was only when I breathed in again that I noticed the god-awful stench.

I was not alone in this coffin.

"Sorry to barge in on you like this," I said to the poor soul. There was no reply.

_Well… this is unpleasant._

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Please review :) xx**_  
_


	24. A Dead Man's Leg

_Ouch._

Not for the first time, whoever was carrying the coffin I was in bashed it off the wall.

_You're not being very careful. How disrespectful. Or do you not know what precious cargo you are carrying…?_

Clearly, they did not. The coffin swung around haphazardly. I was hoping they wouldn't drop me. If I was dropped too hard and the coffin split open, whoever was holding it would get the fight of their lives if I were to hop out... Might have been quite funny though.

"This coffin's heavy…" I heard a muffled voice above me. "Must have been some poor fat bastard."

_Hey! That is so rude. There are two of us in here!  
_

_I ought to jump out on you._

I didn't, because then they might have killed me and the need to pretend to be dead would be removed completely. While that would have made sitting there a lot easier, it would also have meant that I was dead. This would have been a little bit inconvenient for me. So far, death didn't seem like much fun… and I had only been pretending. God knows what it's like for people who are genuinely committed to it.

_Ouch… not again.  
_

_When you die, whoever you are with the honour of carrying me, I hope someone bangs your coffin repeatedly off a sharp pike surrounded by fire and angry lions._

That was the last bash before we came to a stop. I felt them set me down and I waited. I heard their footsteps and a few ominous grunts and splashes. I knew what was coming. I braced myself when they picked me up again. There was a moment where my insides panicked as the coffin was airborne and they only seemed to reconnect with the rest of me a few seconds after I had hit the water. I felt myself bobbing around rather uncomfortably. It's a good job I was used to the sea, otherwise it might have made me incredibly dizzy.

_God… it really does smell funny in here._

_Like a Goon's armpits._

_Ew… wow, I just made myself feel sick._

The waves eventually settled down and I was left to just drift. It would have been rather soothing if it hadn't been for the dead man I was lying on top of. That put a rather large damper on things. I was pretty sure that I had quite a while to just drift along so I let myself relax and ignore the corpse.

_Corpses aren't so bad… I'm sure people have put up with worse._

_Isabel is surrounded by worse on a daily basis… poor lass; at least I'm not her._

_Mind you, she doesn't have to lie with one…_

… _unless she's married that Ginger Freak, then she'd have to-_

_No. Please no. Let's not think about that._

I decided to think about more productive things. I was suddenly feeling a strange achy feeling in my chest. _Perhaps a bruise?... on the inside? Odd. Very odd. You know what would fix this? Rum._ I decided to think about rum and how much I missed it. I hadn't thought to bring any. The thought of rum calmed me down and made me feel slightly happier. Rum does make everything better, I promise you. Maybe not forever, but at least for a while. Feeling slightly better about everything in general I started to relax and drift into a state of almost sleep.

* * *

**Knock. Knock**.

_Hello?_

**Knock. Knock. Knock.**

_Oh… wait I'm in a coffin, it can't be someone at the door._

**Knock. Knock. **

_Whoever this is… is just plain rude. There is someone trying to be dead in here… Not me, but still…_

**Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.**

_RIGHT… enough is enough!_

I reached for my pistol and shot at whatever was making that incessant knocking sound and blasted a hole straight through the area it was coming from. The knocking stopped immediately, so I guessed that I had managed to take down whoever was. I stuck my pistol out into the air above me and moved the barrel around, since I didn't know which direction my foe was in. When there were no shots or sounds of retaliation I pulled it back in again and used my fists to break out of the coffin, sitting up as I did so.

_God, it's nice to be able to breathe… that was uncomfortable. _

I looked around me for whatever deadly enemy had seen fit to knock on the coffin of a dead man. A pile of feathers on the sea looked unthreateningly back at me.

_Oh… it seems my rude nemesis was once a crow._

_Pity that…_

_My head feels funny. _I reached up and knew at once what was wrong. _Oh God, my hat! That bloody dead crow's pinched my hat!_

_Oh no wait…_

_Here it is._

I pulled it out and patted out the creases before putting it back where it belonged. Then I looked down at my coffin-mate. _This is going to be truly disgusting._

"I'm sorry, mate," I said sincerely as I ripped his leg off. In all fairness he didn't protest. I pulled it out and looked at it for a moment. "Mind if we make a little side-trip?" I asked it. It did not respond. _Little bit rude, but to be expected as you are in fact a dead man's leg. _"I didn't think so."

I began using it to row towards the full moon, which was sinking down towards the horizon, and the dark shape of a beautifully familiar ship, which was floating just to the right of it. It was not the most effective oar I'd ever had, or the nicest thing I'd ever felt… I also felt that sometimes… just _sometimes, _when the light caught the shiny bits of bone that were protruding out in places, I felt as if it were judging me.

By the time we reached the _Pearl _the dead man's leg and I had thoroughly fallen out and we were no longer on speaking terms. Gibbs put out his hand as I clambered up. Grateful not to have to touch it anymore I handed over the rude limb. Cotton draped a coat over my shoulders as I stepped on board.

"Not _quite_ according to plan?" Gibbs asked dryly.

"Complications arose, ensued, were overcome," I told him.

_Now please let that be all the questions._

"You got what you went in for, then?"

_Oh for God's sake!_

"Mm-hmm!" I said non-committedly, pulling out the cloth and hoping he would drop it, but I could tell from the way that he was looking at me that he wouldn't.

"Captain…" he began. _Oh, here we go._ "I think the crew," I turned and found that said crew were standing right in in front of me. _Where the bloody hell did you lot come from? Scraggly looking bunch you are…_ "Meaning me as well, were expecting something a bit more... _shiny… _What with the Isla de Muerta going all pear shaped, reclaimed by the sea, and the treasure with it."

_Yes, I'm fully aware of what went on._

"And the Royal Navy," someone piped up. "Chasing us all around the Atlantic."

"And the hurricane!" Marty chimed in.

There was a chorus of "Aye"s.

"All in all," Gibbs summed up as if it was the end of one of his ridiculous stories. "It's seems some time since we did a speck of honest pirating."

"Shiny?" I said, just to clarify.

"Aye, shiny," he confirmed. _What are you lot? A crew of magpies? _I studied him for signs of feathers.

"Is that how you're all feeling, then?" I looked at them all, feeling suddenly angry and tired and frustrated. "Perhaps dear old Jack is not serving your best interests as captain, eh?"

"Awk! Walk the plank!" Cotton's parrot squawked at me. I drew my pistol and aimed it at him.

"What did the bird say?" I snapped, as Cotton looked alarmed.

"Do not blame the bird," Leech said. _You're right… at least there's an honest soul among you._ "Show us what is on that piece of cloth there."

As if he had heard us, Barbossa's bloody monkey screeched down and snatched the cloth from my hand. _No manners at all._

I tried to shoot him and missed. I grabbed the nearest pistol I could find and shot at him with that. This time it hit him. There was another screech and he dropped the cloth, running into the rigging.

"Know that don't do no good," Gibbs grumbled. The monkey was both annoying and undead… an infuriating combination at the best of times.

"It does me," I said, noting that my spirits had marginally improved.

Marty had dashed to pick it up, "It's a key!"

_WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME TOU SAW A KEY MADE ENTIRELY OF CLOTH? Never. _"No!" I said and stepped forwards. "Much more better. It is a _drawing _of a key."

I held it up for them to see and they all crowded round. Not one of them looked like they had any idea what was going on. It saddens me to say that I was not only expecting this reaction… but _used _to it. "Gentlemen," I said, slowly. "What do keys do?"

There was a pause so long I could have shaved the hair from all of their heads, The probably wouldn't have noticed either…

"Keys..." Leech began. _Ye-ees._ "...unlock..." _Come on, nearly there._ …"things?"

_Clever boy._

"And whatever this key unlocks, _inside _there's something valuable." Gibbs had perked up. "So, we're setting out to find whatever this key unlocks!

"No!" _How stupid are you?_ "If we don't have the key, we can't open whatever it is we don't have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don't have, without first having found the key what unlocks it?"

"So…" Gibbs took a moment, even though I had just explained things in such a clear and precise way that even a Goon could have understood. "We're going after this key!"

_Eh?_

"You're not making any sense at all," I told him. _Sort yourself out or nobody will ever understand you. "_Any more questions?"

"So... Do we have a heading?" Marty asked.

_Bugger._

"Ah! A heading!" I pulled my Compass out and stood with my back to them. "Set sail in a... mmm... in a general..." _NO! I'm pretty sure that bloody Port is that way. Quick, change directions before they notice._ "In _that_ way - direction."

I pointed to my left.

"Cap'n?" Gibbs sounded both shocked and confused.

"Come on, snap to and make sail, you know how this works. " I made my way through them to my Cabin. None of them seemed to be moving. "Come on…oy? Quick… oy… quick, hey!" I said as general way of encouragement.

_It's like training bloody dogs around here.  
_

_I need a drink..._


	25. Lots of small, hideous sea creatures

**Hey! :) **_  
_

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* * *

_Why?_

_Why don't you know what I want? _

My Compass seemed to be staring at me. It had been doing that a lot recently. Just staring at me and spinning in constant circles. Sometimes slowing, but never stopping. I began to measure the distance from where we were to wherever the Compass was pointing.

_Not again…_

_Port Royal. Port __**bloody**__ Royal._

I gave it a friendly tap to jolt it out of whatever kind of malfunction it was having. The needle moved and for a moment I felt relieved, but then it just slipped right back again.

_Bloody hell._

It slipped to a new position and I dropped the calipers. _Pointless. Bloody pointless. _I sat back for a moment and stared at the map. _Y'know… we're not that far from Port Royal, we could always-_

_No. Don't. You can't._

_What's there anyway? Basically nothing. Well…_

_God, I need a drink._

I reached towards the bottle of rum that was sitting on my desk. It felt ominously light. I picked it up and looked inside. _Nothing._ I tipped it upside down. _Definitely nothing._

_Well… who's drank all this then?_

"Why is the rum always gone?" I stood up. The room span a little bit and I stumbled. _Oh yeah…me. Me drank all this then. _"Oh! _That's _why…" I muttered to myself. Keeping my balance as best I could, I made my way out of my cabin and onto the dark deck with only a hand-held lantern to guide me. Not that I needed guiding, I know the _Pearl _like the back of my hand. Below decks, the air was full of the snores of my, frankly rather smelly, crew. Not one of them had the decency to stand to attention for their Captain.

_Don't bother yourself lads…_

_Although… I've heard even Goons do it and a Captain of a Goon vessel doesn't deserve any shreds of respect._

"As you were, gents…" I told them sarcastically, secretly hoping that it woke some, if not all of them. The snoring seemed to get louder. _Rude. Can't talk to any of you…_

I climbed down the next flight of stairs and into the cargo hold. I unlocked the door to the place that we'd set aside specifically for rum. Gibbs once tried to call it the wine cellar to sound fancy, but I told him he was an idiot. There'd never been a drop of wine in the place.

I looked to my left and caught sight of a gaggle of hideous and small sea creatures gathered on a beam of wood in one of the racks we usually keep rum in. _How disgusting._ I shone my light on them and they recoiled a little. _Take your small, hideous sea creature party elsewhere._ I stepped back and carried on my search. I spotted a promising looking bottle and bent to pull it out. Sand poured from the neck of the bottle onto the floor.

_What the-_

"Time's run out Jack," said a low voice from the gloom.

_Aaaaah!_

I dropped the bottle and heard it smash as I moved away to look for who had spoken. If I'd had another bottle, I would have dropped that one too. "Bootstrap… Bill Turner?"

The man, who had been sitting, hunched over and bedraggled, turned to look at me. His skin looked pale and yellowing and it was literally crawling with yet more small hideous sea creatures. _These things are everywhere… I hope they're not contagious._ He even had a whopping great starfish stuck to the side of his face.

"You look good, Jack," he told me. _Well, obviously. _As he spoke water poured out of his mouth.

_You don't._

_You look worse than your sun and he's a eunuch. _I searched for something complimentary to say back. _I like your starfish…? No, that won't do._

"Is this a dream?" I settled for.

"No…"

"I thought not. If it were, there'd be rum…" I looked around miserably. Bootstrap immediately held up a bottle. It didn't look new, but that didn't bother me. I took hold of it and pulled. It didn't budge. I had to prise it from his hands with a delightful crack.

"You got the _Pearl _back I see?" he observed. _As sharp as your son, you are._

"I had some help retrieving the _Pearl, _by the way." I studied the top of the bottle and gave it a tap. _Doesn't look very hygienic… better blow on it just in case. Better. _"Your son."

"William," Bootstraps eyes were serious. I took a swig of his rum. _Tastes just fine. _"He ended up pirate after all…"

_Not really… he's more pansy than pirate, but you don't need to know that._

"And to what do I owe the pleasure of your carbuncle?" I asked, so that he would not dwell too much on his Eunuch of a son.

"He sent me," Bootstrap said meaningfully. "Davy Jones."

_Bugger._

**"**Ah. So it's you, then. He shanghaied you into service, eh?" I tried to sympathise and not let my rising panic show.

**"**I chose it," he admitted. "I'm sorry for the part I played in the mutiny against you, Jack." As he spoke a tiny crab escaped from his sleeve. He slammed his hand down, caught it and ate it live. _That can__**not **__taste good, mate… "_I stood up for ya. Everything went wrong after that. They strapped me to a cannon, I ended up on the bottom of the ocean, the weight of the water crushing down on me. Unable to move, unable to die, Jack… and I thought that even the tiniest hope of escaping this fate, I would take it. I would trade anything for it."

_Please leave now. Let's not have this conversation. _I handed him his rum back and tried to walk away from him.

**"**It's funny what a man will do to forestall his final judgment."

_Like me. Please let me stall it…_

**"**You made a deal with him, too, Jack." Bootstrap appeared directly in front of me so suddenly I almost jumped. "He raised the Pearl from the depths for you, thirteen years you've been Captain."

_Debateable... _

"Technically, I–"

**"**Jack." He cut across me inching closer with every word. "You won't be able to talk yourself out of this. The terms that apply to me, apply to you, as well. One soul, bound to crew a hundred years upon his ship."

_Your breath is not pleasant._

**"**Yes, but _The Flying Dutchman_already has a Captain, so there's really–"

**"**Then it's the Locker for you!" _No. Please no._ "Jones's terrible leviathan will find you and drag the Pearl back to the depths and you along with it."

_No. No it won't. I can't… I…_

**"**Any idea when Jones might release said terrible beastie?"

_Please. Help me._

"I already told you, Jack. Your time is up." It felt like he placed something in my hand. I was too tense to open it. "It comes now, drawn with ravenous hunger to the man what bears… _the black spot_."

_NO. Please, no._

It was only then that I was able to open my clench fist. Within seconds the flesh in a circle in the palm of my hand had grown blackened and rotten. _Bugger. _I felt sick. I looked up for Bootstrap, but he was nowhere to be seen.

_Bugger!_

Without wasting any more time, for I might not have much left to waste, I bolted back up the stairs to where the crew were lying blissfully unaware of the danger we were in. "On deck all hands!" I bellowed to jolt them out of their sleep. "On deck! Scurry! Scurry on! Move it! Move it! I want movement!"

Men were falling over themselves in their panic.  
_  
__Bugger. Fuck. Shit. Bugger.__  
_

_I need this spot covered. _"Run as if the devil himself and itself was upon us!" I yelled, running onto the deck. _And you better be running like that, because he very nearly is upon us. _

I spotted a thin strip of cloth. _Perfect. _I snatched it and stood behind the mast, wrapping up the spot and hiding the evidence.

Gibbs came out of nowhere, **"**Do we have a heading?"

_God, man! Don't sneak up on people like that!_

**"**Ah! Run!" I told him, and then "Land," when I thought he might need some clarification. I ducked behind the mast. Gibbs loomed at me again. I jumped. "Ah!"

"Which port?" He looked bewildered.

"I didn't say port!" _FOR GOD'S SAKE LISTEN, MAN! _ "I said land, any land." _Some first mate you are! _Something brushed against the back of my head. _Bloody hell it's the-… oh. It's just the bloody monkey._He had my hat. He hissed at me, I hissed back to show him how ill-mannered it was and in retaliation he threw my hat overboard.

"Jack's hat!" Gibbs shouted. "Steer about!"

_Are you mad?_

"No, no, leave it!" I said desperately. Everyone stared at me like fools. _That doesn't look like running to me! _ "Run" I reminded them before leaving them to it. I dashed under the stairs.

_No pet of Jones's is going to spot me here. _

Gibbs, however, he did spot me, "Jack?"

I shushed him.

"For the love of Mother and Child, Jack, what's coming after us?" he looked scared.

_Don't trust him with it, Jacky._

"Nothing."

He doesn't look like he believes me. I run into my cabin and shut the door. I know that it's the first place that a sea-monster would come looking, but it's the only place I get any privacy from my crew.

_Should I tell them…?_

_No. There's not one there that I trust._

_Well, maybe Gibbs, but he'd only panic._

_Looks like I'll be going this alone then._

I sigh and sit down at my desk. My hands are shaking and my heartbeat is unusually fast. _I need someone to talk to. _My cabin feels very lonely and vulnerable.

_I miss… I miss Is-_

_No. Don't._

_I miss… I miss… _

_No. _

I look down at the maps laid out in front of me. The words 'Port Royal' stand out more than ever and for once, it doesn't seem like such a bad place to end up in.

_I miss... I miss…_

_I miss my hat._

I reach for my Compass.

_Urgh…Who am I fooling? _

I touch the words 'Port Royal' with one trembling finger.

_I miss my Isabelle._

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	26. An Unexpected Reunion

_Oh God… I've been here before._

"Captain?" Gibbs sounded uneasy. I tried to ignore the fact that his tone seemed to mirror the feelings of the rest of the crew. I looked cheerfully back at them all as they traipsed through the jungle behind me.

"Nothing to worry about, lads," I told them. _That might be a lie… _"We can settle here for a bit." _We should probably leave immediately. _I turned back to face the front, partly so that I didn't have to look at their mistrustful faces, but mostly so that I didn't walk into a tree or fall over anything. "Probably," I said brightly. "Probably as long as we like, I doubt anyone lives here."

_That's not strictly true…_

As if they had heard my lies a steady drumbeat began to sound through the jungle.

_Bugger._

"What's that, then?" Marty asked.

"Oh… probably just something falling over… repeatedly," I said. I glanced back at them. They did not look convinced… can't say I blamed them. "Like I said, lads… nothing to worry about."

_Aaahhh!_

It was at that moment that something clamped itself round my ankle. Everything blurred and spun around me until I found myself looking directly into Gibbs's upside-down face. I frowned at him, "Master Gibbs?"

"Aye, Captain?" he looked weary.

"What are you doing upside down?"

_It's highly unprofessional for a first-mate._

"I'm not," he said dryly.

"Oh." I looked up at my feet, which were bound and tied to a branch and then down at my arms, which were dangling down towards the ground. "Mind getting me down then?"

Gibbs reached for his sword, but then I watched his eyes roll alarmingly back in his head and he collapsed. _What are you doing, man? This is no time for a nap! _I heard a series of thuds and noticed that all of the crew seemed to have befallen the same fate. _Oh._

The Pelegostos warriors emerged from the bushes and looked at me. _Please… please don't recognise me. _

"Latazo?" one of them said with wide eyes.

"Oh bugger," I muttered and they all started cheering. I was cut down and carried off like a king.

_This is the only time in my life that being treated like this does not agree with me._

According to my calculations I had about a week before the ceremony, which they would view as an honour, but in my opinion was just rude. Just like I had told those Goons on the docks of Port Royal, I had been here before and they had made me their chief…. What I hadn't got round to telling those Goons was that this tribe were intent on burning me alive and eating my remains.

_Bugger._

_I look brilliant._

I grinned at myself in my war paint. If there was one thing to be said about the cannibal tribe it was that they sure knew how to decorate their food. This was the best painting they had done on my face by far. I had demanded eyes. Eight of them.

Two on my eyelids.

_So that when I close my eyes it looks like I'm awake. Hilarious._

Six on my cheek.

_Blue, because blue eyes remind me of-_

_Well... that's not important._

I sat with my eyes shut, so that I didn't accidently see anything horrific. Like the casual devouring of human flesh that went on around here all the time. I was doing my best to keep myself and my crew alive, but time was not on my side. I wasn't even sure where my crew were being kept because I couldn't go anywhere without at least five people following me to make sure that nothing killed and ate me before they had a chance to. I couldn't even… er,… relieve myself without three people surveying me. It was all getting beyond the realms of creepy.

They had bumped up the security on me since that last time I had been here. Probably because the last time I was here I had managed to escape before they could feast on my flesh. At least they didn't think that I was being rude when I ran away… if they'd thought that I would have been dead by now. Obviously they just thought that I had been off doing some kind of Godly duties.

_Every duty I do is Godly._

_How unfortunate that the only people who recognise my potential are also the only people who want to eat me._

I had about a day for something to turn up and save me from being eaten. I hoped that whatever was left of my crew were having better luck in dreaming up escape routes than I was. I doubted it though, because most of them were idiots. I heard a commotion and news arrived that my loyal subjects were bringing me a gift. I was always apprehensive about these offerings.

_Please let it be something I can escape on._

_A donkey will do. I could escape on that._

_As long as it's still alive…_

I opened my eyes.

_Is that… is that a Eunuch?!_

Will's stupid face was hanging from a pole. Thankfully the rest of him was there too. I can only assume that he is even less attractive in a decapitated form than he is when he's attached to the rest of his body. He frowned at me in his usual gormless way, looking as confused by life as ever. "Jack?" he said. _Oh this is awkward… pretend you don't know him. _"Jack Sparrow? I can honestly say I'm glad to see you."

_The feeling's not exactly mutual, lad. They'll eat a Eunuch like you up for breakfast… literally. _

I stood up and walked towards him, doing my best not to give anything away. _What the bloody hell is he doing here? I do hope he's not fallen madly in love with me and decided to stalk me across the globe. That's the last thing I need right now. _I tapped one of his little girl arms to demonstrate how pathetic, ridiculous and not worth eating he was.

"Jack! It's me!" Will said, sounding pathetic and desperate. "Will Turner!"

_As if I could forget your ugly face._

I walked over to the Pelogostos' previous leader, who was looking at me expectantly. "Wa-say kohn?" I asked.

"Een dah-lah. Eeseepi," he replied.

"Eseepi," the crowd echoed.

"Tell them to let me down!" the Eunuch demanded.

_Will… SHUT UP._

"Kay-lay lam. Lam piki-piki. Lam eensy weensy. Lam say-say... eunuchy. Snip-snip," I said. All of which was true.

"Ahhh... eunuchy!" the crowd echoed back again. _You see… even cannibals can tell that you have no trouser department._

I began to walk away from them all, but the bloody Eunuch wasn't ready to give up yet. "Jack! The Compass! That's all I need, Elizabeth is in danger!" _That does not surprise me. _"We were arrested for trying to help you." _That's not exactly my fault, or my problem._ "She faces the gallows!"

_And what makes you think that I-_

"So do I!" an indignant voice interrupted him.

_Oh, God…it can't be…_

I looked around for the source of the voice… sure that I knew who I had heard, but not daring to say it out loud in case I was imagining her and everyone on the island thought that their chief was insane.

_It has to be her. Nobody else could be so beautifully indignant… surely?_

There was a second person, hiding just behind Will. As I stepped towards them the Pelegostos who had been blocking my view cleared a path and I could see her clear as day. She was tied up just like Will had been. Her hair was hanging loose, almost brushing the floor. Because of the way her legs had been tied the hem of her dressed had slipped further up her legs than her brother would have approved of.

_Not that I'm complaining… No, don't look at her legs or she'll kick you in the face. _

I stood by her head and looked down at her. Those brilliant blue eyes met with mine and her face broke into the most contagious smile I have ever seen in my whole life.

"Isabelle?" I heard myself whisper, even though I wasn't sure that I had given myself permission to speak. "Hello, love."

"Jack!" she said, happiness radiating from her. I felt a bit dizzy, even though I wasn't the one who was hanging from a pole. I hoped I wasn't coming down with anything. I struggled for something to say, there was so much I wanted to… so much I had planned to say, but… She frowned slightly in an amused fashion. "Why do you have eyes on your face?" she asked.

_God I've missed you._

I laughed at her expression of confusion mixed with amusement… _What do you call that? Confusement? Amusion? _

"Jack have you listened to **anything** I've said?!" the Eunuch butted in with his usual, ever present rage. _I'd almost forgotten you were here. _"It's your fault we're in this mess and it's up to you to get us out of it!"

I looked around at the Pelegostos, who were eyeing Will and Isabelle hungrily. _No. No. No! _I straightened up and looked at them all properly, "Se-se lam shoop-shoop sha smalay-lama shooko, savvy?" They looked blankly back at me. _Oh for God's sake. _"Bal liki liki!"

"Bal liki liki!" was the enthusiastic reply.

Will was immediately panicked by this as they began to carry him away, "Jack what did you tell them? No! What about Elizabeth?"

_Will you please shut up about bloody Elizabeth?_

I looked at Isabelle, she was far calmer than her Eunuch-y friend and she was looking at me with eyes full of absolute trust. It almost put the smile back on my face, but I fought it so that the Pelegostos wouldn't suspect anything and eat her first. I stooped right down and placed my lips by her ear. "Save me," I whispered before straightening swiftly back up again. Her eyes locked with mine and she nodded once to show that she understood. If there was anyone on this whole island I trusted to come up with something clever enough to save my life, it was her. I could still hear the Eunuch screaming away about silly old Elizabeth, so clearly he would be of no use to anyone. Ever. I made my way back to my throne and sat down.

_Well… that was an unexpected reunion. _

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	27. The Eunuch of the Pelegostos

_Oh God. _

_Get that thing away from me. _

… _That better not be for round my neck._

_Oh God it is._

_Bugger._

"Thank you," I said politely, trying my best not to be sick.

_These can't be real…_

I picked up a single toe from the vast selection that was hanging around my neck.

_I hate feet. I hate feet. I hate feet. I hate feet. _

I took a small bite of the nail.

_Definitely real._

I spat it out.

_It's actually not that bad…_

_Still hate feet though. _

I hurriedly dropped it and did my best not to let any of the severed toes touch my skin.

_I wonder whose they are...?_

_No… don't think about that._

I looked at the celebrations that were going on around me. Normally I never turn down a reason to celebrate, but this time I did and I did it for two reasons. Firstly, there was not a drop of rum in sight and secondly they were celebrating my imminent death. If I wasn't very much mistaken their drumbeats were getting faster.

_It's high time someone put a stop to this._

"No! No, no! Oi!? Wait! No no!" I sprang up and moved towards the tribe. "More wood! Big fire! **Big** fire! I am chief! Want big fire! Come on!"

_Nobody ever listens to me… Not as a Captain, not as a chief… not even as an about-to-be-devoured God of the Cannibals._

I turned to the one that had been lurking behind my throne, supposedly guarding it, but he was probably just creeping around and smelling my hair.

"Oi!" I called to him. "Maboogie snickle-snickle!" He started to very slowly move away from my throne. "Tout de suite!" I prompted. "Come one! More wood!"

I watched them absorb themselves in building up my fire and paying me many tributes. All of which are obviously deserved… I just would have preferred it if they had not been building up to me being burnt on a giant stick. Not one of them was looking in my direction.

_Brilliant._

…_and now run._

I ran as fast as I could away from the ravenous dancing cannibals as I could. I felt safer charging across an unstable looking bridge that was dangerously high up that I had sitting on that throne. The Pelegostos' wooden huts stood empty as I ran past them. I was getting away with this! _I am so safe. Nothing can touch me now-_

_Bugger!_

_Oh, bugger that's high._

I stared down over the edge of the cliff I had been seconds from plummeting down. I needed a way across. I turned back and looked around. _Brilliant. _Long stretches of bamboo were lying conveniently close by. I picked one up.

_Hmm… I don't quite trust this on its own…_

I threw it down and began searching in one of the native huts. I found myself in one which seemed to be particularly useful. There I found some rope, which I took with me on my way out. A tin of something caught my eye.

_I wasn't aware that people who ate toes were in need of tins._

I picked it up. It was a tin of Paprika… with the East India Trading Company symbol stamped on the bottom.

_That's interesting… that's very interesting._

I studied it more closely as I exited the hut. I looked up.

"Oh bugger," I announced to the whole tribe who stood in front of me. They did not look happy. _Quick… do something so they don't think you were running away. _I dropped the rope immediately and smiled at them. I look the lid off the paprika and began sprinkling it under my armpits. "Little seasoning, eh?" I said before presenting myself to them. They all immediately returned to their previous high spirits.

_I will never eat paprika again for as long as I live… which may not be that long. _

Being tied to a pole is not all that dignified, I'll have you know. It's also not very comfortable. I was carried on one of those long bamboo sticks that I had once almost called a friend over to the newly built fire.

I had to admit, they'd done as I asked. There was an alarmingly big pile of wood now. "Well done," I said begrudgingly.

_Credit's given where credit's due… but why couldn't I have asked for a smaller fire?_

Someone stepped forward with a flaming torch.

_I do not like the look of that. Put it away, lad. Put it away…_

He lowered it to light my fire. _Bugger. _"Da latazo! Da litozo!" a scrawny looking boy interrupted proceedings. _He looks like the Eunuch of the Pelegostos world. _ "Hay la paka say-say."

_The prisoners have escaped? YES!_

Everyone just stood around like idiots. Thankfully, I am used to leading people who behave in such a way. "Well, go on!" I prompted. "Go get them! Pe lala!"

"Pe ala!" they repeated excitedly, running off to chase my crew.

I saw the torch fall dangerously close to the pile of wood beneath me. "No! No no!" I told it sternly. _Don't you dare even think about setting me on fire._ "Oi! No no!"

_Quick! Blow the sparks in the opposite direction. _

As the sparks began to spread closer to me, I began gently blowing them the other way. But then I saw small embers begin to glow orange, "Not good," I gulped and my blows became more frantic.

_Quick! Blow the whole thing out!_

I could feel the heat on my face as the fire grew stronger beneath me. Smoke stung at my eyes as if it were made of tiny, smell, miniature grey bees.

_Methinks I'll be needing a change of tactics…_

_There's quite a lot of bounce in these polls…_

Without singeing myself in the process I managed to work the bamboo pole I was tied to free of the human roasting spit, by bouncing the pole high enough so that when I came back down I landed on the ground.

_That would have been rather fun had it not been for the threat of imminent death by inferno._

I rolled away from the growing flames and managed to kick my legs free of the rope binding me. There was no time to untie the whole thing, so I just ran as fast as I could with it still tied to my back. It was heavy and it was uncomfortable.

_I pity the snails. Thank God I don't have to carry this for all my days._

I ran as far as I could, almost back to where I had been found before and then stopped, struggling to untie myself. I became aware that I was being stared at and looked apprehensively to my right. It was the scrawny lad from before.

_Well hello there Cannibal Eunuch… we meet again._

He was standing looking at me with a knife in one hand and a fork in the other. I jumped down from the wall I'd been standing on and sidled up to him. He continued to gawp at me as I snatched the knife from his hand. He turned and fled.

_You, lad, are a truly the Eunuch of the Cannibals._

I tried to use the knife to cut the rope binding me, but I then became aware of two Pelegostian women. I stared at them. They stared at me.

_I've had enough of this._

I ran at them screaming, in an attempt to spear them with the part of the bamboo cane that was sticking over my head. Craftily, they side stepped me and I ended up with my one weapon lodged in a coconut, which was one of many that had been left in a pile near the cliff.

_Bugger. Bugger. Bugger. Bugger- wait a moment. _

I lifted it up and spun myself with all my might, launching the coconut off the end of my bamboo and launched it at them. One of them managed to catch it.

_Oh… she does not look happy._

And then all fruity hell broke loose. They began launching various fruits at me, while I continued lobbing my coconuts at them. There is one thing to be said about this kind of fight and that is that it smells quite nice.

"STOP IT!" I shouted at them eventually and they both froze.

_You've made me look ridiculous._

I felt the weight of all the pieces of their fruit that had become speared onto my pole. If there was ever a huge incentive for someone to think it was a good idea to eat me it would be now- while I was freshly seasoned with paprika and surrounded by fruit.

I ran at them again, this time running past them and deliberately not losing momentum when the end of my bamboo cane got lodged behind a wall. I let it spring me over the edge of the cliff. I saw a blur of sea and sky and cliff and angry cannibal woman and fruit. Before I felt my feet land one the ground. I had done it. I had actually made it to the other side.

_To be honest… I didn't think this one would work._

I straightened up as best I could, feeling pretty chuffed with myself. Then I realised I was straightening up a little _too _much… something I couldn't control. _What's happening? _I looked around of the mysterious force that was pulling me back.

_Oh no…_

_No._

_No no no no no._

The fruit started to slide down the pole and the shifts in weight sent me toppling over the edge of the cliff I had so expertly avoided. I fell for a few seconds before the walls of the chasm I was falling into became narrower and the length of bamboo caught. I the rope unravelled and I spun downwards.

_I feel both dizzy and sick and scared of the height I'm at… oh, wait. That's three things._

_How the bloody hell do I get down from here?_

The pole began to slip. _That was one of the rhetorical questions… I didn't need this kind of answer. _"Bugger," I sighed and it slipped again, this time sending me into free-fall.

I crashed through a total of six rope bridges on my way down. I would have been annoyed but they broke my fall, which might just have saved my life. When I hit the ground all the air left my lungs momentarily and I heard those blasted piece of fruit rain down around me. The pole was yet to land.

_Please don't hit my-_

It landed to my right.

_Thank you._

I looked at the sky. _I am never moving again… I'm not sure that I can._

A shadow fell over me. _Please don't rain. _"Jack," said a voice.

_Rain? Rain can't talk._

I looked up to see what was causing it. _Isabel. _I tried to say it, but I was so winded that it just came out as a groan. I hoped she didn't take offence. "Hello," I tried again. _That's better; at least it's a word._ I still felt a bit dazed. She smiled down at me and reached out a hand. I took it and she pulled me to my feet. My back ached. "Can you untie me; I seem to be tied to a pole?"

Her laugher filled her eyes and the air around us. "Sure," she said and moved to unpick the knot around my waist. I watched her untie it, feeling a sudden and odd pull towards her. I didn't think I'd see that face again. She looked up at me and smiled as the rope fell away, "There you go."

"Thanks," I said. I noticed a small frown crease her brow and followed her gaze to my bandaged, black-spotted hand.

_Bugger._

I tried to hide it, but she grabbed it before I could. She inspected the bandage with narrowed eyes. "Why is there a bandage on your hand? What happened? Did you land on it last time you fell from the sky? (!)" she grinned, but I did not feel like grinning back.

"No!" I pulled it away. "It's nothing!"

I walked away from her. "Sorry I brought it up," I heard her mutter. There was an uncomfortable silence.

_Tell her._

_No._

_Tell her._

_I can't._

_Do it._

_If I do, she'll leave .She'll not want to be anywhere near someone with the Black Spot and why should she be?_

_Tell her._

_Not yet…_

_Why?_

_I need her. _

"Sorry, love," I turned to her. "It hasn't exactly been the best of weeks."

"It's alright," she said brightly and I noticed her smile spread to her eyes. She fell into step beside me.

_Say something…_

"How've you been?" I asked. She opened her mouth to reply, but before she could there were a series of shouts and cries behind us as the Pelegostos came running towards us.

"Bugger!" I cursed. "Will these people **never** give up?"

I reached for Isabelle's hand and ran with her, away from them and towards the sea. I could hear the cannibal tribe behind us. Isabelle's hand tugged on mine and I realised she was no longer running. I turned to see her eyes wide with panic as she tried to pull her dress free of a branch it was caught on.

_That's not an appropriate dress for running away from cannibals in._

I stooped to unsnag it, took her hand in mine and we began to run again.

"That dress is awful fancy." I told her, "And not all that practical for running around in."

"It's a wedding dress, it's not meant to be practical," she laughed. "And I didn't exactly have time to change."

Her laughter sounded distant and hollow. I stopped running.

_Married?_

_She's bloody married?!_

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	28. It's like you're not even real

_Married…_

_As in…_

_MARRIED?!_

She said something, grabbed my hand and before I could really take any of it in I was running again.

_If it's George… I'll kick off. _

I glanced at her as she ran with me towards the beach. Her cheeks were a little flushed from all the running and there was a glimmer of happiness in her eye. _He must be some guy to put that kind of look there…_

I felt a sudden surge of hate for everything around me and I wished that undead monkey was there for me to shoot at. _Why? Why am I angry?_

_I bet this is how Commodore Goon feels all the time._

_Maybe everyone from that class feels like this… Oh, God… is it contagious? _I looked to where Isabel's hand was grasped in mine as we turned right to run along the sand.

_If it's contagious maybe I should let go._

… _I don't want to._

I looked back up at Isabel. She didn't look angry at all, so I decided that it couldn't have anything to do with just being upper-class. She was upper class and looked bloody happy enough. This renewed my hate in everything.

_Who is making all that dreadful barking?_

I looked down at that bloody scabby dog from Port Royal's jail.

_Where the hell did you come from?_

_And WHERE are your keys?_

The dog started barking and growling at the cannibal tribe who were still rudely chasing us towards the _Pearl._

_Actually, dog, that's very useful… carry on. _

"Good boy!" I shouted to him as he continued barking. Isabel's hand left mine and I saw her bend to pick the dog up. _What the hell are you doing, love? If you think that mangy mutt is coming on my beautiful vessel you have another think coming. _She turned to me with the filthy mutt in her arms. The stupid dog licked her face and she grinned at it, her smile lighting up her eyes. _Oh, all right then. _I rolled my eyes at her to show her that I wasn't happy about it, but I let her and the stupid dog scramble up the side of the _Pearl _first. I turned to the disgruntled looking cannibals. "My children," I addressed them. _You will never, ever eat me._ "You will always remember as the day that you almost-"

_Oh God what's happening to me?!_

Something smacked me on the back of the head. At first I worried that it was an angry wench, but I realised that they prefer to smack the front of my head. As I tasted salt in my mouth and spat out water I realised that it had been a wave that had hit me. "- Captain Jack Sparrow," I finished, because it had to be said and it's not as if they understood what was I was saying anyway.

I could hear Isabel laughing at me, but I was still feeling irritated by everything that was going on. Being rather soggy didn't help matters. I walked away from her. And right into Gibbs.

_It was nice of them not to eat my first mate._

He was looking rather please at having managed to stay uneaten too. "Let's put some distance between us and this island and head out to open sea," he suggested. _Good suggestion. _

"Yes to the first, yes to the second, but only insofar as we keep to the shallows as much as possible," I instructed.

Gibbs looked confused. _Idiot. _"Uh… that seems a bit contradictory, Captain…" _Bit rude. _

"I have every faith in your reconciliatory navigational skills, Master Gibbs," I assured him even though I didn't really mean it completely. "Now where is that monkey? I want to shoot something."

_Preferably a George, if you have one. _

Gibbs looked at me, his expression was predictably blank. _Helpful as ever. _I walked away from him to take the wheel of my ship in the hope that it would make me feel a little bit better. It usually did.

"Jack!" a pathetic, Eunuch-y voice started whining behind me. _I'd almost forgotten that you were here._ "Elizabeth is in danger!"

_Not my problem._

"Have you considered keeping a more watchful eye on her? Maybe lock her up somewhere?" I gave him my most helpful suggestion, hoping that he would take it on board and that would be the end of all of his woman troubles. Although, I was sure that if he were to just come clean about being a Eunuch then there wouldn't be any woman to trouble him.

"She _is_ locked up," he replied, "in prison, bound to hang for helping you."

_Well… that's unfortunate. For her though, not me._

"There comes a time when one must take responsibility for one's mistakes," I said wisely. _But not me. Any mistakes I make are as a direct response to someone else's stupidity. _

"I need that compass of yours, Jack," he said. _And you think I'm going to give it to you just like that? _"I must trade it for her freedom."

_All of this chivalry is getting a little wearing. _"Mr. Gibbs?" I looked to my still confused looking first mate.

"Captain?"

_If I had a doubloon for every time you said that… _

"We have a need to travel up river," I informed him.

Gibbs looked highly concerned by this and I couldn't say that I blamed him, "You mean a need as in a trifling need, fleeting, as in, say a passing fancy?"

_In your dreams._

"No, a resolute and unyielding need."

Gibbs looked terrified… and rightly so.

"What we need to do is make sail for Port Royale with all haste!" the Eunuch did his usual barging in where he's not needed and throwing his useless opinion of things out to those who do not care.

"William," I sighed. _Shut up, whelp._ "I will trade you the compass if you help me to find this."

I showed him the drawing of the key and he eyes it incredulously. "You want me to find this?"

_Wrong… as usual. _

"No, you want you to find this," I corrected him, "because the finding of this finds you incapacitorially finding and or locating in your discovering the detecting of a way to free your dolly belle ol'" _Don't call her anything rude._ "…what's her face," _Safe enough._ "savvy?"

Will took the cloth from my hands and looked at it with a little more trust, "This is going to save Elizabeth?"

I looked around at him and Isabelle, who had been listening intently, "How much do you know about Davy Jones?"

"Not much," the Eunuch admitted. _Doesn't surprise me… you know 'not much' about everything_, "Isabel?" he asked her.

_Don't ask her, she's married. Married people know nothing… and that's a fact._

"Yup, that's going to save Elizabeth," I said before she could say anything out of her stupid, married mouth.

Will had what he wanted, so he left. I was very, very aware of Isabelle's presence. _Do not look at her. Do not._

"Jack?" she said softly.

_No! Get your marriedness away from me!_

_Just don't say anything and she'll think that she's not real and leave. _

"For goodness sake, Jack!" she snapped. "Stop being such a bloody child! You can't ignore me if you won't even tell me what it was that I did or said in the past ten minutes that seems to have offended you so much!"

_You, madam, are wrong. I can ignore you as long as I like. _

To prove a point, I raised my head and looked up. "Mr. Gibbs!" I called, walking away from her angry silence.

_There, see! It's like you're not even real._

* * *

Darkness fell and the _Pearl _became ever quieter. I don't like it when it gets quieter because my thoughts just get louder. As does the sound of the Kraken coming closer.

_What was that noise?_

_Sshh… nothing._

I looked at my bandaged hand. I couldn't stop staring at the stupid bugger. The fingers of my other hand twitched annoyingly over where the bandage was tied. _Open it. Is it still there?_

_No, don't open it._

_I don't want to see it._

_Oh God. God. What if…?_

_No._

I stared at the words on my map until they all blurred and the lines between the countries went all fuzzy.

_I don't want to die. _

I stood up and moved towards the door.

_Where am I going?_

I opened the door and walked out onto the deck. My feet took me down into the snores of my crew. _Maybe I'm getting more rum… maybe that's it. _But I didn't move down to where we keep the rum, I stayed where I was and scanned the beds. I wasn't sure what I was looking for until I found her.

_Isabelle. I need you._

Without thinking I walked over to where she lay curled up sleeping, with only the very top of her head peeking out over the top of her blankets. I wasn't sure how to go about waking her up, so I prodded her a few times. When that didn't work I started shaking her. She groaned and buried her head deeper into her covers. I shook her again.

"Go away and stop shaking me," she said grumpily. _Or what?_ "Or I'll…stab you in the eye!"

_In the eye? Bit rude._

"Isabel," I shook her again, bending down to speak directly into her ear. Her eyes opened. They did not look happy.

"What?" she asked loudly. I shushed her; I didn't want anyone else waking up.

"I need to talk to you," I whispered.

This was not met with a pleasant response. "You've hardly said a bloody word to me all day and now you decide to wake me up in the middle of the night for a chat?!"

_Well… you are rude when you get woken up in the middle of the night. _

"I don't want 'a chat', love, we need to talk."

_Please listen to me._

"You had the chance to talk to me all day and you didn't." She rolled over so that I was staring at her back and did not turn back around.

"Fine then!" I said. _Be a bitch. _"Never mind!"

_There really is no one you can count on. _

I stormed away from her and shut myself back up in my cabin. _If there's really nobody who cares maybe I would be better off dead. _

_No, don't think like that. _

_Well… would anyone miss you, really?_

The silence seemed long and empty and then it was broken by a knock that made me jump. "Jack," I knew who it would be before she spoke. _Sod off._ "I'm coming in."

I was torn between telling her to go away and opening the door for her, so I just sat there, staring at my Charts. The door opened. I looked up. Our eyes met and she stared at me for a long time. "Sorry, Jack," she sighed and I felt instantly better about everything. "Do you still want to talk to me about whatever it was?"

"Yeah," I nodded, feeling relieved that she was here. "Come in."

The door shut behind her and her eyes met mine again. She looked strange… concerned, maybe. About me? I sighed and felt a tight knot in my stomach. _How can you be married… to someone who's not… what a waste. It better not be George. _"Um…" I took a deep breath. _Be polite, Jack-y._ "First of all, congratulations, Isabelle."

"Thank you," she said, but she didn't smile. Nor did I. She looked confused. "But what for?"

"Your marriage," I couldn't look at her. "To George I presume."

_Please tell me I'm wrong. Anyone but him. It's not her being married I feel bad about; it's just that it's him because he's an ugly shit… Obviously, I'd be fine if I knew it wasn't that ginger bellend._

"I'm not married to George," she said.

_Oh good._

_Why don't I feel better?_

"Oh, well, whoever it is…" I said, looking even more away from her. _I don't even know the guy… why do I feel worse now? Am I ill?_

"I'm not married to anyone," she sounded utterly bamboozled.

"Well you must be," I looked up at her. "You're in a wedding dress."

_What kind of lass forgets he own wedding?_

"Yes I am," she nodded slowly, "but I'm in _**a**_ wedding dress, not _**my**_ wedding dress! It was _**Elizabeth's **_wedding. I'm chief bridesmaid!" I felt suddenly lighter and that tense knot in my stomach was gone completely. "Or, I was until Beckett came and ruined it; anyway, the wedding hasn't actually been yet," she continued, but I was barely listening.

_I don't care about them, darlin'._

"Oh," I grinned at her, filled with a sudden urge to run over to her and… _No. Don't even think it. Sometimes slaps are avoidable._ She smiled back, although still a little confused.

"Is that all?" she tilted her head to one side, as if amused by the fact that my brain had momentarily been completely empty of anything but relief.

_I wish that had been it, love…_

"No," I shook my head and my smile was gone. "You asked me what was wrong with my hand," I stood up and walked over to her, she was looking concerned again. _I'm sorry to have to worry you, love. _I held out my hand to her, "Have a look."

She took it, very gently in her hand and began to untie the bandage. Her frown deepened. I was regretting this. _How is she going to take this? Maybe I should take it back… she won't accept this. _The last layer of the bandage came off and I heard her gasp.

_Too late._

_This was such a bad idea. She will definitely leave now._

Her eyes stayed fixed on the Black Spot for a moment before she looked up at me.

"Jack…" she whispered. _What? What are you thinking, darlin'…? _"What…? How…?"

"The Black Spot," I offered as an explanation. "Jones's beastie is after me and just being here puts you in danger."

_So, I understand if you want to leave._

"What's going to happen to you?" she asked quietly.

_Me? What'll happen to me? That's your first question?_

"If it catches me, I'll go to the Locker." I told her and her eyes filled with such sorrow that I felt compelled to fix it, to reassure her, "_If _it catches me."

She took my other hand and suddenly it was she who was reassuring me. "Which he's not going to," she sounded determined, protective.

"No, love, you're right, he's not. I'll repay Jones."

A smiled played with the corners of her lips, "Or cheat him."

I smiled back. _You know me well, Miss Norrington. _"Yeah, that's more likely," I admitted.

"Do the crew know?" she asked.

"No." I shook my head, "I, erm… don't want to worry them."

_And I wouldn't trust them as far as I could fling them. _

"But you don't mind worrying me?" she raised an eyebrow, teasing me.

"No," I muttered. _It's not like that._ "I trust you."

I let go of her hands and she moved closer to me. "Then I shall keep this between us." she said as the urge to hug her became too strong. I pulled her towards me and held her tight, feeling her arms squeezing me just as tightly.

_Thank you. Thank you. Thank you._

"Thank you," I said out loud. She hugged me closer by way of acknowledging my thanks. I breathed in her smell. _God… I've missed you. _

She pulled away and stepped back. "Goodnight," she murmured. I smiled, but said nothing. I didn't trust myself to speak. Sometimes I say odd things when I feel odd… which I did at that moment. Her hand was on the door handle when I called out to her.

"Isabelle!"

She turned to face me. I studied her face. _Exactly as I remember… _"Yes?" she asked.

_Stay._

_Stay with me._

"Never mind," I said.

"Alright," she shrugged, amused by my behaviour. "Night"

"'Night," I replied and she was gone. I didn't know what was wrong with me, but I would have to snap out of it. I was becoming overly fond of Miss Norrington and I didn't like it one bit. And looked down at my Charts and one Port caught my eye. Port Royal. She'd have to go back there, again. No use getting fond of something that's just going to leave again.

_Pull yourself together, Jack-y… she doesn't belong here. Can you really see her living this life?_

The trouble was… I really could.

* * *

**Sorry this was so long! Love you for making it through it though :) Please review xx**


	29. A Whole Jungle of Weird

_Oh God… what's she talking to Gibbs about?!_

I eyed them both suspiciously and sidled up to stand beside them, trying my best to look as casual as possible. Isabelle gave me an odd look. _Rude. _I narrowed my eyes at her. _If you dare tell anyone my secret I swear to God that I'll be the one stabbing you in the eye…_ I glanced at Gibbs, he was giving me the same odd look, but he didn't look repulsed and he didn't look at my bandaged hand once. I nodded politely to them both and walked slowly past them.

"Anyway…" I heard Isabelle continue. "It was then that James decided that he should probably stop letting me use his sword at all… not even as something to use in one of my games around the house."

_Oh… she's not said anything. Thank God._

"Well…" Gibbs said thoughtfully. "I suppose you had just used it to threaten your governess."

_Wow, that girl really is rude._

"I was eight and I didn't want to have my hair up… what else was I supposed to do?" I heard her retort and I smiled.

_That's a fair point._

I went to the wheel and tried to relax. _She's not going to tell anyone. She's not. I trust her._

_Do I?_

_Yes._

_Sure?_

… _Yes._

_Remember what happened last time you trusted someone with anything important?_

I looked down at my pistol, which was loaded, as it always was, with one single shot. _Barbossa. _I looked back up at Isabelle and saw her now engrossed in what seemed to be a very serious discussion with Will. I felt immediately panicked again. _If she's going to tell anyone it'll be the Eunuch first. They're friends and she'll trust him. He'll probably try and swordfight me again and lecture me on morals. I can't go through that boredom. It'll kill me. _I ran quickly down the stairs and back onto the lower deck.

_I can't look like I'm suspecting anything… I have to look like I'm stumbling in on their conversation. _

_Walk backwards and then it will look like an accident._

I turned around and started walking backwards, using the sound of their voices to guide me. When I came within earshot of them I began listening intently, while keeping my expression as passive as possible. I even looked away from the direction they were in so that they knew I was definitely not listening to them. _This was a brilliant idea._

"I just need to free her," Will was saying. I rolled my eyes. _Oh… it's one of his Elizabeth rambles. _"If we can just be together I know that we'll-"

"Ja-aack…" Isabelle said slowly. I froze but still didn't look at them. _Keep still and she'll go away. That's the trick with women… or is it bears? _"Jack!" she said again. _Damn it._

I turned and smiled innocently at her. "Yes, darlin'?" I widened my eyes because everyone knows that wide eyes make you look less guilty. She didn't look like she was falling for it. One of her eyebrows shot up as she scrutinized me.

"What are you doing?"

_Is the Eunuch as suspicious as her? _I glanced at Will. _Nope, hopeless and clueless as ever. _

"Nothing," I said quickly. She didn't look like she believed me. Will looked like he didn't care. "Nothing at all."

Then I saw a brief moment of understanding flicker in her eyes and she gave me a reassuring smile. The kind that says, very specifically, 'you can trust me'. For a moment I felt relieved. But then I remembered that I have given that smile to many people, many times and never meant it.

_I'm on to you._

I gave her a warning look as I walked away and she looked completely baffled. _Don't you play innocent with me, missus!_ She gave me a look back, which told me that she thought that I was being ridiculous. _Me? Ridiculous? Never._

I kept my eye on her as the day progressed, but she didn't even let on to anyone else that she knew something nobody else knew. _She's good… what else does she know that nobody else knows?_

_Maybe I'd never told her in the first place... Maybe it had all been a dream._

_No, if it had been a dream there would have been much more rum._

…_and far fewer items of clothing._

_And we'd-_

"Capt'n!" _Ahhh! _Gibbs's voice made me jump. I blinked and his face came into focus in front of mine. _Ahhh! _"We're here."

"Ahhh!"

_Oh, that one was out loud._

* * *

The sunlight strained to reach its rays around the dense maze of branches that intertwined themselves with one another above our small rowing boats. There were places that the sunlight couldn't touch, which left them looking dark and dank and very, very sinister. _The kind of place that a Eunuch might lurk and call his home. _I turned around and looked at Eunuch in the other boat. He did not look at all relaxed or at home in his current surroundings. _Ah well, obviously not the motherland of all Eunuchs then._

I looked up. The silhouette of a small person looked back down at us from high up on the embankment. _Get down from there, that can't be safe. _The small person didn't move. I shuddered, feeling both watched and judged. The further into the jungle we got, the darker it grew. There was screeching and cawing and howling from all around us. _There is so much weirdness out here. _A wooden hut loomed out of the jungle mists and I sighed. _Not as much weirdness as there is where we're going, though… _

I stood up and stepped out of the boat, turning to my crew. "No worries, mates," I told them, sounding as confident as I could manage. "Tia Dalma and I go way back. Thick as thieves. Nigh inseparable we are… were… have been… before…"

_She's probably going to put a curse on us all. _

"I'll watch your back," Gibbs tried to reassure me. _You'll hide behind it more like. _

"It's me front I'm worried about." I said honestly and turned to the door of Tia's dwelling. Crouching slightly, I peered through one of the panels on her door. _If she looks angry I'll just run away. _I pushed the door open slowly, ducking further so that if she threw a curse at me she'd have a smaller target to hit.

"Jack Sparrow," she smiled and I straightened up.

"Tia Dalma," I greeted her, giving her my most charming smile. I strode in, walking towards her in my most confident manner. _Aahhh! _A jar swung dangerously close to my face. I managed to stop before I hit it. _Oh God, she keeps eyes in there… it should have seen me coming then. Rude. _

"I always knew the wind was gonna blow you back to me one day," Tia walked over to me. _Of course she's not angry with me… with a face like mine how could you stay mad? She's probably thinking th- Hey, what's she looking at?_ Her eyes moved to the door. "You." She said, pointing. _The Eunuch?! _"You have a touch of destiny about you… William… Turner."

_Don't confuse him any more than he already is._

"You know me?" the Eunuch was, as predicted, completely baffled.

_Poor lad spends his whole life in a state of confusion, no need to make it worse. _

"You want to know me?" Tia asked. _Better save the whelp._

"There will be no knowing here!" I interjected, leading her away from Will. "I thought I knew you," I added, a little hurt that she'd forgotten. _As if a Eunuch is more interesting that me!_

"Not so well as I'd hoped," she said. She threw a demanding, "Come," over her shoulder to the Eunuch.

"Come," I repeated, directing him where to sit as he was still wallowing in his own stench of confusion.

"What service can I do you?" Tia asked, running her fingers along the Eunuch's chin. _She's probably just checking that his sorry excuse of a beard is real and that he's not, in fact, a woman. _She looked up at me. "You know I demand payment!" she said sharply.

I presented her with that bloody, screeching undead monkey. "I brought payment," I said, shooting the bloody thing to show her. "An undead monkey," I announced. _It's just the kind of weird thing that you love. _"Top that!

_As if anyone ever could. _

She opened the cage and the screeching thing ran free, screeching as it went. _I will not miss you. _

"You have no idea how long it took us to catch that," said Gibbs miserably. _Stop your whining… at least we're rid of the blasted thing for good. _

"The payment is fair," she nodded her approval.

The Eunuch produced the piece of cloth I had given him previously. "We're looking for this," he held it out to her. I saw her eyes widen. "And what it leads to."

"The compass you bartered from me," she snapped, looking up at me. "It cannot lead you to this?"

Everyone in the room looked at me. _It's rude to stare. _"Maybe," I replied. I felt suddenly defensive and secretive although I didn't understand why I felt like this. "Why?"

"Ah, Jack Sparrow does not know what he wants;" Tia was far more amused by this than I was. Then her eyes moved from mine and her smile widened. "Or do you know, but are loathed to claim it for your own?" _Izzy… she's looking at Izzy… she thinks it's Izzy_… _Why would she think that? Does she think that I- No, No that's ridiculous. I would never do something so stupid. Captain Jack Sparrow does not fall in love. That's madness. And it would never work… Izzy has to go back to- No! that's irrelevant because I'm not in lo- Quick! Say something so she doesn't think she's right!_ Before I could defend myself against what Tia was accusing me of she moved on to answer Will's question. "Your key go to a chest and it's what lay inside the chest you seek, don't it?"

_Can't say anything now… it would look funny. _

"What is inside?" I heard Gibbs asked. _Definitely too late to say anything. _

"Gold?" Pintel almost wet himself with excitement. I turned to examine some of Tia's less sinister trinkets and prove to them all that I didn't care about anything. Especially not love. "Jewels? Unclaimed properties of a valuable nature?"

"Nothing bad, I hope."

Tia launched into her story in the way that she always does to draw everyone in. "You know of Davy Jones, yes? A man of the sea, a great sailor. `Till he ran afoul of that which vexes all men."

"What vexes all men?" Will, being the most intellectually challenged was obviously the first to be completely taken in by Tia's story. _I bet I get it before you all do._

_What vexes me most?_

"What indeed?" Tia gave them all a meaningful look. _Oooh… this is nice. I think I'll take this. _

I looked around to check that nobody had seen me pocket one of Tia's rings. My eyes fell on Isabelle, but she wasn't looking at me. I felt funny.

_Izzy… Izzy vexes me most. _

"Well," Gibbs struggled to get his brain in motion. "The sea?"

_Don't be stupid. _

"Sums," Pintel offered. _How does one run afoul of a sum?_

Tia shook her head.

"The dichotomy of good and evil," Ragetti piped up with one of those suggestions that are often best left piped down.

_You really are an idiot. _

"A woman," I said to end the madness. I did not appreciate Tia's grin. _This does not make you right._

"A woman," she confirmed. "He fell in love."

_What a fool._

"No, no, no, I heard it was the sea he fell in love with," Gibbs tried to correct her on her own story. .

"Same story different versions, but all are true," she snapped. "It was a woman, as changing and harsh and untameable as the sea. Him never stopped loving her, but the pain it cause him was too much for him to live with, but not enough to cause him to die."

_You see? Foolish thing to do, fall in love… it's for idiots like the Eunuch. _

"What exactly did he put in the chest?" Will asked.

"Him heart," she replied and clearly enjoyed the shocked silence that this earned her.

"Literally… or figuratively?" Ragetti asked.

_Everything you've said today has been utter bollocks, who let you on my ship?_

"He couldn't literally put his hear in a chest!" Pintel didn't sound sure. "Could he?"

Tia leant back and looked at them all. "It wasn't worth feeling what small, fleeting joy life brings so him carve out him heart, lock it away in a chest and hide the chest from the world. The key he keeps with him at all times."

There was a soft,"Aww," from beside me and everyone turned to look at Isabelle, who flushed. It made me smile without me meaning to do so. "Well, it's sort of sweet in a disgusting way," she offered as some kind of defence.

_You are so odd, love._

She looked at me and my smile seemed to catch on, although hers was a little more embarrassed than mine. "You knew this!" the Eunuch's voice jolted against the good mood that had been so unexpected and brief that I hadn't realised I was in it until he had so rudely awakened me from it.

"I did not. I didn't know where the key was, but now we do," I said brightly. "So all that's left is for you to climb aboard the _Flying Dutchman_ grab the key and you can go back to Port Royale and save your bonny lass, eh?"

I turned cheerfully away from them and tried to make my escape. _If I can leave before Tia puts two and two together, then-_

"Let me see your hand!" Tia's tone was sharp.

_Damn._

I turned to face her, but found that Isabelle was blocking my way. I looked at the back of her head in surprise. "He doesn't have to show you anything he doesn't want to!" she said fiercely, suddenly protective of me in a way that I'd never really experienced before.

I laid my bandaged hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, love," I said soothingly. I held out my other hand for Tia to look at, but she wasn't having any of it. Slowly, hoping that she would forget in the time it took me to do so; I gave her my other hand to inspect. I looked away as she unravelled the bandages. I couldn't look at anyone. I didn't want to see their disgusted looks. _Izzy… she already knows. _I sneaked a glance at her. She looked physically pained by the very thought of my Black Spot. I wanted to hug her, but I didn't.

"The black spot!" Gibbs shouted out. _Really? I hadn't noticed. _He turned in a full circle and spat on the ground. Pintel and Ragetti copied him, although I doubt they understood why. They don't understand much. Everyone in the room except Isabelle took a step away from me.

_Thanks for your concern, some crew you are._

"My eyesight's as good as ever, just so you know," I said bitterly as I wrapped my hand back up again. Tia walked away from us all. I couldn't meet anyone's eyes. I was sure they weren't looking at me anyway, in fear of catching my Black Spot or something equally ridiculous. I chanced another glance at Isabelle and saw her glaring at them all. I assumed that my assumptions of their reactions were correct.

Tia appeared in front of me again holding out a large jar in a very serious way. "Davy Jones cannot step on land but once every ten years. Land is where you are safe Jack Sparrow, so you will carry land with you."

I took the jar from her and studied it. "Dirt," I observed. "This is a jar of dirt."

"Yes."

_You give very strange and terrible gifts. _

"Is the jar of dirt going to help?" _Is it magic dirt?_

"If you don't want it, give it back," she challenged.

_How dare you?!_

"No!"

She smiled, "Then it helps."

"It seems we have a need to find the _Flying Dutchman_," Will stated the obvious as per bloody usual.

Tia shook a handful of crab claws in her hands and stood over the desk she'd been sitting at when I entered. "A touch… of destiny!" she said dramatically and threw them down. I walked over to memorise the exact pattern and shape that they fell into. There was a great silence as everyone watched me do it.

"Right," I looked up at them and only a very tiny per cent of them could meet my eye. "Time to go."

The relief was unanimous. _Thank God._

* * *

I didn't speak to anyone on the way back. When we arrived I headed straight for my Cabin and shut the door. They could talk amongst themselves. I unrolled all my charts and spread them out over my desk. It didn't take long until I found a small cluster of islands in the same formation that Tia's crab claws had been in. My heart sank. There was a soft knock at my door.

_If this is Gibbs he can sod right off._

"Who is it?" I called.

_I am not in the mood for a Black Spot story… if it's Gibbs I'll say I'm out._

"It's Izzy," was the reply. I felt myself relax already.

"Come in," I called back. She stepped in and shut the door behind her.

"You all right?" she asked.

"Yeah," I beckoned her over. "Come and look at this, love." I pointed to the cluster of islands I had just found. She looked over my shoulder. "Does that look like the same pattern that the crab claws were in?"

I looked at her as she studied them. "Yes, it looks exactly the same."

I sighed. "I thought you might say that."

"Isn't that a good thing?" her brow creased in confusion. She glanced at me and I looked away.

"It's just… there's a lot of open water between here and there," I admitted, feeling tense as I said it.

_Help me._

"We'll make it," she sounded determined. I stared at the maps, a feeling of cold dread washing over me until I felt something warm take my hand. I looked down at it. Isabelle's hand was holding onto mine tightly, protectively. I looked at her, the surprise I felt mirrored in her eyes. And then I felt calm for a moment until she ripped her hand from mine.

"I have to go," she said, suddenly flustered. Without thinking I grabbed her arm and pulled her back. She faced me with wide eyes, her lips parted in surprise. A strand of hair covered her mouth. I brushed it away.

"No you don't," I murmured, as I tucked the stray piece of hair gently behind her ear.

_What am I doing?!_

I felt funny again. It was a good kind of funny. Almost like being drunk, but not on alcohol. I couldn't really think properly. All I knew was that I liked where I was right now. So close to her.

_Just do it, Jack-y. Go on._

_This doesn't make Tia right._

My hand moved to hold her tightly to my chest. I noticed her blush deepen. "I do!" she said urgently. "I have to speak to Geor- no! James, Eliza-…." She didn't really look like she knew what she was saying. "No WILL!" she finally shouted his name and tore herself from my arms.

I stood there, my mouth still hanging slightly open and the door slammed behind her.

_What the bloody hell just happened to me?_

My Compass was staring at me. The one Tia gave me.

_Shut up._

_You're both wrong. _


	30. A Strong Smell of Fish

_Just don't talk to her. Never speak to her again and you won't ever have to feel odd again, isn't that nice? Yes. Yes it is. Now focus. And hide that bloody Compass so that it stops staring at you._

I put it in my pocket and hoped that this would be the end of the silliness. With a renewed determination never to speak to Isabelle ever again and pretend that she didn't exist, I stepped out to face my crew. I hoped they'd come to terms with what was on my palm. Nobody mentioned it, which was a relief. They all just followed my orders like they used to. The rain was coming down heavily now and not far off there was a devastated ship, almost split in half and completely silent. It could only be the work of Jones and his terrible beastie. Nothing else can leave a ship so completely broken.

_That means the beastie's been here…_

I shuddered and scoured the waters. They were stormy, but there was nothing terrible in them.

_I need… I need…_

"Jack," Will called as I passed him on the stairs. I turned to look back down at him and the rain lashed at both of us. We had to shout over the noise of the storm. "What's going on?"I suppose, for someone so incredibly dim, it was a fairly reasonable question.

"We're here," I told him cheerfully.

"Then what?" Will asked.

"Row over, search the ship, find the key and kill anyone who gets in your way," I told him. _Is that simple enough for you?_ It's best to speak in simple terms when dealing with simple people. "Repeat it to me."

He blinked at me, "Em… I…"

_Too slow._

"Row over, search the ship, find the key and kill anyone who gets in your way," I told him again. "Come on, lad, it's not _that _hard."

"Okay… Em…" He hesitated. _Old, blind dogs learn faster that you do._ "Row over, search the ship, find the key and kill anyone who gets in my way," he said eventually.

_Good boy._

"Again," I demanded, just to be sure. _These Eunuchs have about as much of a brain department as they do a trouser department. Which is basically none. _

He sighed. "Row over, search the ship, find the key and kill anyone who gets in my way. Happy now?"

_Bit rude, but I'll let it slip._

"Aye… wait on deck," I told him and turned away from him to make my way back to the wheel. My crew were working hard to bring the _Pearl _to a stop.

"I'll get Izzy," he called back and I tripped on the last step. _Damn it. Damn her. No… I mean damn who? I don't know anyone. What?_

When the _Pearl _had been brought completely to stop, Gibbs and I joined Will at the rail. There was someone else with him, but of course that didn't bother me. Not even a little bit. I didn't even notice her standing beside him in the pouring rain.

_She looks…_

_Nothing. Not there. What?_

"That's the _Flying Dutchman_?" Will asked, sounding highly disapproving. "She doesn't look like much."

_That's a bit rich coming from you._

"Neither do you," I said honestly. _And you also look like a she, another thing you have in common._ "Don't underestimate her."

There was a long silence. I could tell by the look on his face that the Eunuch didn't believe me. Gibbs wasn't much help. The one time that I need his annoying input to butt into everything that's going on and he stays silent. _Fat lot of good you're doing._ I kicked him. "Must have run afoul of the reef," he piped up at long last.

_Finally. Took you long enough._

Now that I had managed to subtly prompt Gibbs into saying something useful I turned cheerfully to Will. _You see. Gibbs is backing me up. _For some reason the Eunuch's always trusted Gibbs's word more than my own. Which is utterly ridiculous if you think of the amount of twaddle speak and folklore he speaks out of his twaddle. "So what's your plan then?" I asked him. Testing him.

He both looked and sounded very disgruntled. "I row over; search the ship until I find your bloody key."

_No need for that kind of language, Eunuch. But it sounds good so far. I wonder who came up with that small piece of genius._

"And if there are crewmen?" I prompted.

"I cut down anyone in my path," he muttered.

_He's learning._

"I like it; simple, easy to remember," I nodded my approval. _Whoever came up with it should get a prize. _I was feeling good about this whole thing. I think everyone else on board was too. It took quite a lot of effort to get the lifeboat lowered into the choppy seas, but Ragetti got it done in the end. We could hear it bashing off the side of the _Pearl. _

"Your chariot awaits you, sire!" Ragetti called cheerfully to Will. I smiled at the look on his face.

"Let's go," Isabelle said, turning to disembark the _Pearl_. Without thinking, I reached out, grabbed her arm and pulled her back. She frowned at me.

_You are making it really difficult to pretend you're not here. _

"You're not going," I told her. _Well… pretending she doesn't exist is going well…_

Her eyes widened in shock. It hadn't even occurred to me that she would think she was going there with him. It was, and always had been, out of the question. "_**Pardon?**_" she asked incredulously.

"You're not going!" I repeated more firmly than before. _If I'm going to acknowledge her, I may as well commit to it. _

"Yes I am," she said, equally as firmly.

"No, you're not!" I tried to outdo her, but her glare was quite something.

"Why not?!" she demanded. Her shock was completely gone, taken over by rage.

"Because I am the Captain and my word is final!"

_The Captain reason trumps all other reasons for doing anything. Ever. _

"That is not a valid reason!" I could feel her slipping from my grasp as she tried to pull herself away. I grabbed her shoulders. She glared back at me, defiantly. Her eyes were challenging me, daring me to defy her. She struggled against me, but I wasn't about to let her go. I couldn't believe that I hadn't seen this coming. _Of course she wants to help her friend. Of course she does. That's just who she bloody is. Bloody, stupid, brilliant Isabelle. _The rain soaked her hair, making it cling to her face, which looked unusually pale in this light. Her jaw was clenched and it seemed to me that her lips were more prominent than usual.

_Don't stare at them. It's probably just the light. _

"You're **not **going!" I said, with a renewed determination. Something strange gnawed at my stomach. _There is absolutely no way that she's going. _ "Will can do this alone," I told her. "And you need to stay here!"

"Why?!" her eyes flashed with fury. "Why do I need to stay here?"

_Because I need you. I need you. I need you more than I've ever needed anything and there's a chance Will might die over there and if he takes you with him and you-_

"He's gone, sir," Gibbs interrupted before I could decide what I was going to say to her, how I could lie to convince her to stay. _I can't tell her the truth, she'll laugh at me. _I relaxed at Gibbs's news, but Isabelle looked like she was close to snapping. _I don't care. I really don't. _

"Douse the lamps," I ordered. My mind was back on the matter at hand.

"Why?" Isabelle asked immediately. "What's going on? Why couldn't I go with Will? Am I not as valuable as him?"

_Oh for God's sake! You're __**too **__fucking valuable._

"**Stop asking so many bloody questions Isabel!**" It was me who snapped first. Our faces were only inches apart, but she didn't even flinch at my shout. I had a sudden urge to close the gap between us, but instead I pushed her away from me. White hot rage was burning me up, so I didn't even look back to see how she was. I tried my best to focus on what was actually important here. Getting the key from Jones. I used the power of the frustration Isabelle had caused to fuel my last, shouted instructions to Will. "If you do happen to get captured, tell them Jack Sparrow sent you to settle his debt… might just save your life."

_Then again… probably won't._

The candles were going out and my beautiful _Pearl _was melting into the darkness. _There is no way that Jones will see us now. _I got out my spyglass and trained it on the sea to watch Will's progress. He was as slow physically as he was mentally, but he made it after some time. I tracked Will's pathetic little lantern around the broken ship.

_Any minute now… any second…_

Right on cue, a colossal ship rose from the depths. _Bugger… that's most definitely the Flying Dutchman. _I withdrew a little bit involuntarily. _It's okay, he'll never see you. _From what I could see of it, there was a brief and rubbish fight from Will before he was taken aboard the _Dutchman. _

_And I told him to say that he knew me… how embarrassing._

"How's it going?" Gibbs asked.

"SHH!" I hissed. _You'll give the game away._

"Sorry…" Gibbs cleared his throat and dropped his voice to a whisper. "How's it going?"

"Difficult to say," I whispered back. "But he's not doing terribly…all things considered."

"All things considered?" he questioned.

"Considering he's a Eunuch, I mean," I said, just to clarify. Gibbs looked surprisingly surprised.

"Will's a Eunuch?" He frowned. "How do you know?"

"Can't you tell?" I asked incredulously. He thought it over for a moment. I left him to it and turned my attention back to what was going on aboard the _Dutchman. _I could see the back of Jones's head and I felt my insides get oddly cold. He turned around.

_Oh God, it's like he's looking right at me._

I lowered my spyglass and my stomach dropped. Jones was indeed looking right at me, from right in front of me. _Ahhh! Bugger! Shit! How the hell did you get here?! _I looked around at my crew for help and backed away from him, but Jones's crew had captured mine. I looked back at Jones.

"You have a debt to pay," he looked angry, backing me into the middle of the deck. "You've been Captain of the _Black Pearl_ for thirteen years; that was our agreement."

_Not exactly…_ "Technically I was only Captain for two years," I reminded him. "Then I was viciously mutinied upon…"

_Please feel sorry for me and give me more time._

"Then you were a poor Captain, but a Captain nonetheless!" _A poor Captain?... who are you calling a poor Captain? _"Have you not introduced yourself all these years as _Captain _Jack Sparrow?" He strode past me and I could hear him mocking me as he stood behind me. His fishy friends all laughed at his poor joke. It wasn't even a good impression of me. And I'm pretty sure he pronounced my name wrong. _It's Sparrow not 'Sparra'._

_And… you smell of fish._

"You've got my payment; one soul to serve on your ship. He's already over there."

"One soul is not equal to another."

_It was silly of me to think that my soul and Will's would be of equal value._

"Aha," I looked as charming as possible so that he wouldn't strangle me with any of his odd face-tentacles. I didn't think that I could stand the smell of having him that close to me. "So we've established my proposal is sound in principle, now we're just haggling over price."

That got his attention. "Price?" he repeated, obviously thinking about it.

_This is easier than I thought it would be. _

"Just how many souls do you think my soul is worth?"

"One hundred souls," he said after a moment's thought. _Only one hundred? _ "Three days."

_Well that's… potentially problematic._

"You're a diamond mate," I told him, feeling brighter already. "Send me back the boy and I'll get started right off."

_Hopefully he's got the key already._

"I keep the boy, a good faith payment. That leaves you only ninety-nine more to go," he laughed as if he thought I couldn't do it. _Isabelle will kill me if I let him sail off with her friend… and she may not have any face-tentacles, but she can be just as fearsome as Jones._

"Have you not met Will Turner? He's noble, heroic, terrific soprano." _That's because he's a Eunuch, but I won't mention that in case it decreases his value. _ "Worth at least four…" _Saying good things about Will makes me feel physically sick._ "Maybe three and a half," I corrected myself. "And did I mention… he's in love?" I walked around Jones slowly in a circle, studying his every reaction, from his facial expression to the twitches at the tips of his face-tentacles. "With a girl." _You wouldn't think it to look at him, would you?_ "Due to be married, betrothed. Dividing him from her and her from him would only be half as cruel as actually allowing them to be joined in holy matrimony, eh?"

_Please, please, please fall for this._

For a moment I thought he was going to, but then he jolted out of his moment of deep thought. "I keep the boy," he said determinedly. "Ninety-nine more to go."

_Bugged. I'm buggered. _

"I'll go."

_What!? _

I looked round to see who had spoken.

_No._

Isabelle had stepped forward. She looked shaken and scared, but she kept her chin held high.

_No!_

I stared at her. Jones was staring at her too.

_NO!_

Her eyes left Jones's face and met mine. _No, no, no, no! What are you doing? What the __**bloody **__hell are you doing?_ I shook my head at her, but when she looked at me she didn't look scared anymore, just determined. It was as if she was the one who was trying to reassure me, even though she was the one who had just _volunteered _to spend a potential eternity in the company of the Devil.

Jones started walking towards her and her eyes moved back to look at him. I saw her gulp. "Give me the girl and I'll half your debt," he offered. He grabbed her with one of his slimy, filthy hands and pulled her closer towards him. She stumbled forwards.

_Get your fishy hands off her._

"No!" I said immediately, stepping forwards. _What do I do? What do I do?_

"It's alright Jack," Isabelle was trying her best to sound calm. _Why aren't you more scared, love? You are either brilliant or mad. _" I'll go," she even managed a smile. _Who am I kidding, you're obviously both._

"No," I said, grabbing the hilt of my sword. I knew I couldn't kill him, but I had to get her out of this. _Think Jack-y. __**Think.**_ "She stays with me."

"No?" Jones looked at me with a cruel curiosity in his eyes. "I never thought a common wench could have such a strong hold on you, Sparrow."

_It's not… I don't… We're not… LET HER GO._

Before I could say a word there was a loud _bang_. Jones's face twisted in rage and he glared down at my beautiful, fierce Isabelle.

_Did she… did she just kick him?_

I glanced down at her foot and saw her wince when she tried to move it. _Oh God, she did as well. _He grabbed her neck with his hand that was formed like a claw with such a force that it lifted her off her feet and he dangled her there, choking her.

"No! NO! PUT HER DOWN!" I shouted, pulling out my sword and running at Jones. One of his fishy henchmen knocked the sword from my hands. Two of them seized me and held me back. _Let me go! LET ME GO!_

"Not… a … wench…" Isabelle managed to choke out, still glaring at Jones with defiant eyes.

_You brilliant, brave idiot._

"Then I'll be doing you and Sparrow a favour if I kill you," he chuckled softly and I saw his grip on her neck tighten. He turned to look at me, laughing as he did so. She was trying to fight against him and I could hear her every, painful breath. The sound ripped right through me. I fought harder to get away from the people holding me. I saw Isabelle's eyes roll back dangerously into her skull. _NononononNO. _She had been fighting, but I saw all the fight leave her and her body went limp. Jones smiled at me. I cursed him and he laughed. "Or maybe I'll just let you suffer," he chuckled coldly and dropped her body. "After all," he said as I watched Isabelle hit the deck. I couldn't seem to move anymore. "Dividing her from him and him from her would only be half as cruel… would it not, Sparrow?"

_C'mon, Izzy get up. Get __**up!**_

She didn't move.

"Ninety-nine souls," Jones reminded me. "Three days." He gave Isabelle a kick as he walked past, but she still didn't even twitch. He and his crew were gone as quickly as they came. I stumbled forwards to where Isabelle lay motionless. As I knelt down and pulled her into my arms I could hear her long, horrible, rasping breaths. I felt sick.

"Izzy," I murmur. "Come on, darlin', please. Izzy… Please, love, c'mon. You're okay, just look at me darlin'."

_Please be okay, love, please. _

_I love you._

_Wait… __**what**__?!_

* * *

__**Please review :) Thanks for reading my lovelies.  
**


	31. The Return of a Goon

**Helloo If you follow all of my current stories then I'm sorry that you're going to have to put up with the same author's note three times. Anyway, I'm moving into University accommodation on Saturday, so I might not have as much time to write as I would perhaps like to, especially seeing as I need to get settled in to my new place, meet my flatmates and get packed/unpacked (wish me luck I'm so nervous, I hate meeting new people :S) So this is just to let you know that there will be a longer gap between updates than might be normal. Please don't be cross with me; I'll be back on it as soon as I can be. **

**As always, thanks for reading.  
LV xx**

_What?_

_No. No. I didn't say it out loud. It doesn't count._

I saw her wincing with each cough and felt as strange twinge inside me every time she did it. I saw her eyes trying desperately to focus. "You're all right, love, you'll be all right," I said because I didn't know what else to do. She twisted slightly in my arms and I watched her cough something up onto the deck. _Oh God. Oh God. _

"Mary mother of God! She's coughing up blood!" Gibbs said as it happened again.

_OH GOD._

_This is awful. _

_This is all my fault._

"Izzy!" It was all I could say and I said it again and again, as if that could somehow make it better. I pulled her body up so that she was sitting in my arms. Her head rested on my chest for a moment before that hideous coughing started again. I rubbed her back gently and eventually her coughing subsided enough for her to be able to attempt speech.

"Can I-" she interrupted herself with another cough.

_NO! Please don't die on me. Please. Keep talking._

"What? What is it? What do you want?" I gabbled as she struggled to answer me. _Please talk again so you don't die._

"Can I have some water?" her voice was weak and gravely and painful just to listen to.

I glanced around at my useless crew. _Don't just stand there! _"**Someone get her some water**!" I yelled at them, accidently yelling into her ear. It seemed to take an age for Gibbs to return with her water. I grabbed it off him and tried to help her drink it, but I accidently poured it all over her nose.

_Well… saving her life his going well._

She let out a quiet, "Ooof," as I hit her nose. _Ooops. _I looked to see what I was doing and eventually managed to lift the cup to her lips. After a moment her eyes grew a little wide and she started waving her arms around. _Oh, I do hope she's not having a fit. _She made a strange, "Mnnghf," noise.

_Is that good or bad?_

_Do dying people say 'Mnnghf'?_

I took the cup away from her mouth. "What is it, love?" I asked urgently as she swallowed.

"I've had enough," she smiled, looking at me in an almost amused manner. "Thank you."

_So… not dying then._

_Good._

"Are you alright?" I asked, just to check.

She nodded, "Yes." I helped her stand up; she dusted herself off and looked at me. She smiled. I was glad she was fine now and probably not going to die.

_How could she do that? Didn't she see how bloody stupid that was?_

_At least she's okay._

"Good," I said. _But still… what the bloody hell would possess someone to act like such a damn fool?_ I grabbed her arm, "because I am _very _cross with you, love!" I glanced around at the rest of the crew and they all pretended that they weren't listening. _This does not concern you and your nosiness. _I pulled here away from them.

"Why?" Her eyes were widened in surprise. I couldn't understand how someone could go from looking so fierce and defiant to looking so innocent. "What did I do?"

_As if you didn't bloody know. _

"You _offered_ to go with Jones," I reminded her. _Did she cough up some of her memories along with that blood? _"Nobody _offers_ to go with Jones."

_Except from you…but maybe that's because you're not quite 'nobody'._

"But Jack," she looked so frustrated. I could see it in her eyes. "It could have cleared your debt to him and set you free, or at least have got you closer to freedom!"

I felt all of my own frustrations boil over. "I don't want to be free if-"

_If what…?_

_If she's not there… is that what you were going to say? Don't be such a damn fool, Jack-y._

_Don't look at her._

"If what?" she prompted. I still didn't look at her. _I don't know what to say. I don't want to be in this conversation anymore. _"If someone innocent goes in you place? That can't be right, because you sent Will!"

_Bloody hell now she's cross that sent her friend to the Devil._

_She must hate me._

There was a long silence before I looked at her again. "I sent Will because I had to."

_Please understand._

"You didn't have to trick him!" she countered.

_What don't you understand about this? _"He wouldn't have gone otherwise!"

_That sounds like a shit excuse… even to me._

"But _**I**_ would have!" she snapped. _Yes well we've already established that you're a damn fool. Why the hell would you do that? _She was looking properly angry with me now.

_Me._

_Me. She did it for me._

I pushed her back against a wall and held her there; although I wasn't quite sure why. She looked back at me with the same level of frustration and anger in her eyes that I was feeling, but she didn't resist me.

"You need to stay _here_!" I told her, much louder than I meant to, shaking her as I did so. _Don't bloody leave me. _Without thinking I pushed myself closer to her and was suddenly caught off guard by how close we were. _Am I holding her too tightly? _All my anger suddenly vanished into nothing and I felt another strange gnawing at my insides. I recognise the aching feeling to be the same as the one I had felt all the times that she had _not _been here. _I can't go back to that. _"I need you here, love." I said quietly. It felt like there was something blocking up my throat. _How odd, maybe I need a drink. I always need a drink. I bloody deserve one after all this._ "You're the only one I can trust."

She sighed and all of her anger seemed to evaporate as quickly as mine had. _Anger can be very fickle. _She touched my cheek in a comforting way and smiled slightly, whispering my name. I relaxed my grip on her, but she didn't move away from me and I couldn't bring myself to let go of her completely. I found that one of my hands was brushing slightly against her hair without my having first been aware that I had moved it there. _I did not give you permission to this… this is a bit rude. _I watched the progress of my fingers as they ran through her hair, down the side of her face, past her eyes, down the side of her cheek, past her lips and jawbone until I reached her neck. Then I saw the red marks on her neck and I felt sick.

_Me. That's because of me._

"Oh dear, love," I said softly, reaching out to touch those marks. "Look at your neck!" _How can I make you better, love? _She winced at my touch. _I'm sorry love, I'm so sorry you did this for me._ She moved and I let her go, pushing past me to look at the damage on her neck. "Thank you," I muttered so quietly that I don't think she even heard me. I was left feeling odd again.

_Oh, Jack-y… what's wrong with you?_

_Maybe I'm coming down with something._

* * *

_Right… only one way to sort this out one and for all._

_Your Compass… that'll know what you want. That's its job and if it gets it wrong it is fired._

I shook it firmly to show it that I was in charge. _I know what I want. I know what I want._

_No. Stop spinning. You're making me dizzy._

_Again, let's try again. Get it right this time. _

"What makes you think you're worthy to crew the _Black Pearl_?" I heard Gibbs ask as I tried my luck with my Compass again.

"Truth be told, I've never sailed a day in me life, thought I'd best get out and see the world while I'm still young," was the reply of a very old and frail looking man. _How very helpful you shall be… Knowing my luck you'll have died of old age by the morning_

I stared at my Compass. _Maybe if I just gave it more time._

… _FOR GOD'S SAKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?_

At least the next candidate gave me more hope. "My wife ran off with my dog and I'm drunk for a month and I don't give an ass rat's if I live or die."

_That will definitely work in your favour. _

"I know what I want. I know what I want. I know what I want," I said it out loud, so there was absolutely no chance that it could be misunderstood by my Compass. I said it again and again until I was sure that the message would have sunk in. _This thing is more dense than Will sometimes. _I opened it up again. The spinning seemed faster than usual. _Maybe this means that it'll make a decision at some point in the near future._

_Give it time, Jack-y._

_Little bit more._

_Aha!_

_Oh… no. _It had stopped briefly, but then the needle had swung back round to another point. It started switching between the two and I found myself back where I had been before. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Isabelle move. The needle twitched with her. _You're wrong. I know what I want and it's not some girl. I want to live._

"Will you stop playing with that thing?" Isabelle's voice cut through my thoughts. I snapped the Compass shut and hid it from her. _I don't want you getting the wrong idea._

"No," I scowled at her. _Don't you tell me what to do! _This only seemed to heighten the amusement in her eyes, so I decided to ignore her and turn my attention to Gibbs. _At least he doesn't make me feel peculiar. _"How are we going?" I asked him, since I hadn't been paying much attention to proceedings.

_I expect we're almost there. Who wouldn't want to sail on such a beautiful ship with such a brilliant Captain. _

"Including those four…? That gives us… four."

_Oh._

_Looks like we'll be here a little while longer. _

I shook my Compass again, as Gibbs got back to work.

"What's your story?" he asked.

"My story?" the reply made me stop. _That voice sounds familiar…_ "It's exactly the same as your story, only one chapter behind."

_Where do I know that voice from?_

_Oh… oh God… I think I know._

I glanced over at Isabelle to check her reaction. Her shocked expression told me everything I need to know.

_It's a Goon. There's a Goon in Tortuga… The first ever Goon to get into Tortuga alive and it's their King. _

"I chased a man across the seven seas." Commodore Goon continued. _Oh God I'm being stalked by a Goon._ "The pursuit cost me my crew, my commission, my life."

"Commodore?" Gibbs asked in disbelief. _Took you long enough…_

"No, not anymore, weren't you linstenin'?"the Commodore snapped. He sounded very cross and I wasn't sure whether or not he knew that I was in possession of his sister. _I better make a quiet exit. _I reached into a nearby plant pot and grabbed a large branch. _This will hide me nicely. _"I nearly had you all off Tripoli; I would have if it hadn't been for the hurricane!"

_You're a fool, Commodore. A big, goonish fool._

I started to make my escape as the Commodore continued to witter on about his misfortunes. I heard a few gasps and a crash behind me and guessed that things had started to kick off.

_Time to speed up, methinks. _

"So, am I _worthy_ to sail under Captain Jack Sparrow…" he asked loudly. _Keep moving, Jack-y._ _There's nothing to see here but this -slightly moving- plant. He's probably not spotted me. _I moved swiftly to stand behind a pillar for extra protection, "or should I just kill you now."

I heard the click of his gun. _Bugger. I've been spotted. How did that happen? _I looked at him from behind the safety of my leaf. My leaf looked a bit flimsy compared to the barrel of his gun. I saw the anger in his eyes.

_I have done nothing untoward to your sister._

I didn't say it out loud because I didn't know if he knew that I had his sister in the first place. Maybe he had come looking for her. I studied him, he had lost a little bit of his Goon qualities because he looked like he had been swimming in drink for about seventeen years.

_Are you drunk enough to let me get away with this…?_

I moved from one side of the pillar to another. His gun followed me without hesitation.

…_No. No you're not. _

"You're hired," I said brightly.

_Congratulations! You could at least try look a little bit more happy about this… how ungrateful._

"Sorry," he said, not even cracking a smile. "Old habits and all that…"

He cocked his gun. _Bugger._

"No!" Isabelle screamed and dashed forwards from where she'd be standing. I saw the shock in the Commodore's face as he looked at his sister, who was standing in the middle of a pirate bar, dressed in men's clothing.

_He is definitely going to shoot me now. _He didn't even look at me before he pulled the trigger of his gun, but thankfully Isabelle and my crew managed to direct the shot up to the ceiling. The Commodore was caught up in the brawl and was pushed further away from Isabelle. I grabbed her arm,"Time to go, love."

She came away reluctantly, "But what about James…?"

"Erm… we'll come back for him…" I assured her.

_That was a lie. We're leaving before he can blow my head off. _

**Please review **


	32. Itchy Hats and Annoying Compasses

_This is a nice hat._

I tried it on and tested out the general feel of the thing.

_Not as nice as mine though…._

_I need to get rid of it. _I had only just reached the top of the stairs when the new hat began to really annoy me. It just didn't feel right on my head. _It's far too clingy. Like a barnacle on a boat. I hate barnacles. _

I got to the top of the stairs and saw a very jolly looking man sitting in a better hat than my own. I swapped them, which made him even more cheerful than he already was. "Thanks mate," I smiled and gave him a friendly nudge, which sent him toppling cheerfully down into the chaos below.

_What a nice man._

_Terrible hat though… even worse than before. _

This one was itchy. The worst kind there is. It should be made illegal. I turned to the door and was greeted by three running men- or… rather, two of them were running and one was being carried by the two who were doing the running. I could only assume that the destination of the one being carried is the drunken rabble below the stairs. I halted them and they looked at me as if I had just ruined all the fun in the world.

I put the itchy hat on the man's head and stepped aside for them to continue. They cheered.

_Just making things right with the world. _

I lead the way out of the tavern, turning to check that Isabelle was still behind me. I noticed that Gibbs was also tagging along in that way that he does. It made me feel slightly annoyed that he was here, but I couldn't explain why. Isabelle was still looking thoroughly shell-shocked at what she had just seen. So much so that she missed the group of drunken men leering at her from the shadows in that way that only drunken men can leer. Something flared up inside me. I could have punched them all. At the same time. But I didn't. Sensing danger, I put my arm around her shoulders and pulled her close as we walked back to the docks. I motioned for Gibbs to stand on her other side. Just in case.

_Nobody's hurting my Isabelle. Ever._

She looked up at me, a tiny bit confused. I smiled down at her to put her at ease and she smiled back immediately. _I was cross at you for something a while ago… how is that even possible? _"All right, love?" I asked her. She nodded, still smiling in her usual brilliant way. I realised that I was still smiling too.

_Is there a record for longest smile?_

I wanted to say something more to her, but I wasn't sure what. "I cannot believe that _James _is in Tortuga," she said in a way that made me chuckle.

"He probably can't believe that _you _are in Tortuga," I countered. I could see that thought amused her.

"If he tries to kill me…" she began.

"I won't let him," I said before she could ask for my help. She nodded and looked away from me, in the direction that we were going. She still looked happy and content. I still felt happy too. "Although…" I said after some thought. "He's more likely to take out his rage on me than you. You are, after all his sister and I… well I'm the pirate who took her hostage."

"Set me free more like," she grinned, which intensified my happy mood. _I think my happiness is drunk and breeding._ "Well… at least for a little while."

Suddenly her smile faded at what she had just said. I felt like someone had just burst me. _Oh, yeah… that issue._

_Don't go. Don't ever go._

"You'll be going back then?" I asked, trying to keep my tone light and nonchalant, but it was somehow ridiculously difficult. I felt odd again… and a little bit queasy. She looked at the ground.

"Yeah… I'm not sure I'll have a choice." _There's always a choice._ "And anyway… I don't belong here."

_Yes, you do my darling, crazy, stupid Izzy._

_Say something._

_C'mon, Jack-y say something to make her stay._

"Best make the most of it, then. Eh, love?" I felt like all my vital organs had sunk down to my feet and sat there, stewing in misery. She nodded, looking serious for a moment. Then a smile spread across her face the way warmth does from a fire on a cold night. I watched it spread slowly from her lips to her eyes, as she took the hand that was draped across her shoulder in her opposing one and spun away from me, unravelling herself from my grasp but keeping our hands entwined. Without pausing to give me any warning she began to run towards the docks, dragging me with her.

At first, I didn't understand, but the more that we continued to run for no reason, the more my previously burst happiness began to piece itself back together again. I looked at her and I forgot everything in that moment. I just lived it. I'd almost forgotten that you could run without having something to run _from._

_This is why I need her._

_Take your own advice, Jack-y… you best make the most of it. _

* * *

"Captain Sparrow!"

_Who the hell is that?_

"Come to join me crew lad? Welcome aboard," I said cheerfully.

_Hope it's not somebody trying to kill me._

"I've come to find the man I love," was the worrying reply.

_Well that was unexpected…._

_I am not okay with this. _

"I'm deeply flattered son," I said out of politeness, "but my first and only love is… erm…the sea."

"Meaning William Turner, Captain Sparrow."

_Oh, thank God. _

"Elizabeth!" I turned to her, wondering how I had not recognised her voice before. _Has her voice always been this manly? _As Isabelle ran to embrace her friend I turned to Gibbs. "Hide the rum," I ordered. Gibbs looked suitably alarmed and sprang into action. _Good lad. _

"I know Will came with Isabelle to find you," Elizabeth didn't even bother with any form of actual 'hello' or greeting, which I thought was highly rude of her. "Where is he?"

_Oh… this could be potentially difficult._

"Darlin', I am truly sorry to have to tell you this, but through an unfortunate and entirely unforeseeable series of circumstances that have nothing whatsoever to do with me…" _Good… that'll cover me from any form of suspicion that may be coming my way. _"Poor Will has been press ganged into Davy Jones's crew."

I could feel Isabelle's disapproving glance at my blatant lies about Will, so I avoided her gaze completely. Thankfully, she didn't say anything to arouse Elizabeth's suspicions. Which I found slightly suspicious.

"Davy Jones?" Elizabeth questioned.

"Oh please… The Captain of the _Flying Duchman_?" Commodore Goon appeared from nowhere and threw up rudely on the dock near my ship. _Throw up on my ship in an inappropriate place and I'll turn you inside out. _

"You look bloody awful, mate, what are you doing here?".

He wiped the sick from his mouth. "You hired me," he reminded me. "It's not my fault if your standards are lax."

_Nothing about me is lax. _

"You smell funny!" I retorted. It was something I'd been wanting to say from the moment I had first met and caught whiff of him. He really is repulsive.

"Jack," Elizabeth said. _Oh, you're still here._ "All I want is to find Will."

_You two don't seem to talk about much else. Have you ever actually both been in the same place at the same time for longer than two minutes without distress falling upon one of you two damsels?_

"I know…" I nodded. _Try and look sympathetic. It's ridiculously difficult to sympathise with someone whose only desire is a Eunuch… wait… only desire… I'm a genius._ "Are you certain? Is that what you want _most_?"

_If the answer is yes then you are a very sad, but useful individual. _

"Of course!"

_Aha… I thought as much._

"Because… I would have thought that you would want to find a way to save Will _most_."

She looked highly suspicious of me, which was a little bit rude but possibly justified given that I had been known to slip her the occasional lie. "And you have a way of doing that?" she asked.

"Well," I began. "There is a chest…"

"Oh, dear!" Commodore Goon butted into the conversation where he was not needed, wanted or asked to be a part of.

_If you weren't the sibling of someone important I'd shoot you now._

I continued what I was staying, rising above his childish behaviour while he threw up all over again. "A chest of unknown size and origin."

"What contains the still beating heart of Davy Jones," Pintel finished for me, as he and his one-eyed idiot strolled past carrying a crate of something that smelt a little bit odd. Ragetti mimed ripping a beating heart from his chest.

_Am I the only grown-up in this whole world?_

"And whoever possesses this chest possesses the leverage to command Jones to do whatever he… or _she_ wants." _And by 'she' I mean you… _"Including saving brave William from a grim fate."

_And by that I definitely mean you because nobody else really cares about that. _

"You don't actually believe him do you?" Goonface gooned in again.

_I am getting so, so sick of you._

"How do we find it?" I was glad to see that even Elizabeth ignored Ex-Commodore Goon. I took out my Compass and showed it to her.

"With this," I said with some degree of pride. "My compass, 'tis unique." _Like me._

"'Unique' here having the meaning of broken?"

_If that is ever the definition of 'unique' then you have a 'unique' personality… and face._

"True enough," I admitted, trying my best not to punch his face. "This compass doesn't point north."

"Where does it point?" Isabelle asked. I looked at her.

"It points to the thing you want most," I told her and something deep inside me started to ache. "In this whole world."

_Could it be you?_

I watched her smile.

"Jack," Elizabeth's voice reminded me that she was still here whining away. "Are you telling the truth?"

_Why does everyone always question my honesty?_

"Every word, love," I promised, pushing my Compass into her hands. _Better remind her or what it is that she wants… if she's dim enough to want to marry a Eunuch, she's dim enough to forget what she wants most. _"And the thing you want most in the world is to find the heart of Davy Jones, is it not?"

"To save Will!" she said, just to clarify. _I should keep a bloody tally of how many times one says the other's name. _

"By finding the chest of Davy Jones," I said slowly so that she didn't miss it. _Don't mess this up for me._ She nodded and looked intently at the Compass. I flipped the lid open and backed away from them both, so that my Compass did not confuse itself the way it always does when I touch it. I watched her and listened to the steady rattle of the Compass. _Sneak up on it, Jack-y, so it doesn't get itself all in a muddle. _I crept up on it to see if it had worked. I crept up on it to see if it had worked. _YES! _"Mr. Gibbs!" I called. "We have our heading!"

"Finally!" Gibbs shared in my celebration and immediately started giving orders to the crew. I motioned to Elizabeth and Isabelle to accompany me up the gangplank.

_This is brilliant._

_This is the best thing ever._

_Nothing could get me out of this bad mood._

"Jack," Isabelle said quietly. I looked at her and smiled. There was a small, puzzled frown on her face. "Why didn't the compass point to the chest when you held it?"

_Bugger._

_Bugger. Bugger. Bugger. Bugger. Bugger._

"Yes, Jack," the future Mrs Eunuch was looking highly amused. "Why not?" One of her eyebrows was raised in a way that made me feel very uncomfortable. _What is it you think you know? There is nothing to be knowing here. You know nothing about nothing. _She handed me the Compass back. _No. _Before I could throw it at her face she had turned and walked away. The Compass felt heavier than it usually did.

"So," Isabelle pressed. _Go away… please. "_Why didn't it?"

_Don't shout at her… that'll look shifty._ "Because," I said, when I realised that I hadn't spoken in a while. "It's not what I want most."

She looked completely and utterly shocked. _I feel the same way, love._ "Really?" she said incredulously. "What do you want most? The key?"

"No."

_I don't like this conversation._

"Then what is it?"

_What do I say? What the hell do I say? _"I'm between things."

"What things?" she questioned. I began to feel very uncomfortable and warm. "Is the chest one of them?"

_I assume so._

"Yes."

_Please drop it now, please._

"What else then?"

_What is so difficult to understand about the word 'please'?_

"I don't know," I said. _Please let that be the end of it._

"You can't 'not know'!" she protested. _Who are you to tell me what I can't do?_ "You have to have _some _idea of what you want!" _I don't know what to say anymore… _I just stared at her. _I don't think there are any words left._ "Open it then," she prompted. "Let's see."

"No."

_Oh… I do still have one word._

"Why not?" she looked so confused.

_Just tell her…_

… _tell her what, Jack-y? _

_Nothing._

"There's no point! Nothing will happen!" I tried to cram my Compass back into my pocket, but my hands didn't seem to be working properly. Nor did my brain.

"_Something_ has to happen," she demanded.

_No… please no._

"All that'll happen is that the needle will keep spinning," I said honestly.

_I hope that's all that'll happen._

"Let's see," she said.

_I shouldn't do it, should I?_

_No… no I shouldn't._

I stared at her for what was probably an uncomfortably long time for her, but she held my gaze.

_I thought you said you didn't love her, Jack-y…_

_I don't!_

_Then what's the problem? Just show her._

_But, I…_

_If she's not what you want, it won't point to her._

_But…._

_Unless she is what you want-_

_No. No. It's fine I'll do it._

I took the Compass out of my pocket and saw her smile at having gotten her own way. _This is the last time you will win anything against me. _"I can promise you, love, that the needle won't stop," I warned her.

"Well I want to see," she said. _On your own head be it. _I felt sick. I opened the Compass up and held it out for her to see. She moved to stand beside me and we watched it spin round and round in circles.

_Thank God._

I started to relax because nothing untoward was happening. _I told you__so, Miss Norrington! _

_And I told __**you**__ so too, Compass._

_Captain Jack Sparrow does __**not**__ fall in love. _

I looked at her and smiled, I didn't mean to do it, it just happened. She was smiling too, but not at me and not as much. She looked quite fascinated but the eternal spinning of the needle. _She's easily amused, that one. _She moved closer and leant her head on my shoulder. I moved to put my arm around her and rest my head on hers. Her familiar scent made its way up my nostrils and I smiled again.

_I miss that smell when it's not here…_

_And those eyes… wait, what are they looking so excited about?!_

I looked back at my Compass and saw the signs of the needle beginning to slow.

_Bugger._

I snapped it shut and Isabelle flinched. She glanced up at me, slightly annoyed as I moved my shoulder away from her head.

"What are you doing?" she protested. "I think it was slowing down!"

"No, it wasn't!" I stuffed the stupid thing back in my pocket and turned my back on her. _Don't look at her; don't ever look at her again. Bad things happen when you do. _"If you'll excuse me, I have to go and be a Captain now"

_That's right, good for me! I've got to get my priorities straight._

_Sort yourself out, Jack-y._

* * *

**Hello :) Thank you so much for reading, please leave a review.  
LV XX  
**


	33. The Worst Idea I've Ever Had

_What is she looking at me like that for?_

Elizabeth was giving me an odd look. She looked ridiculously smug about something when I approached her. _Maybe that's just the way her natural face is_._ Probably._ "Jack," she grinned in an annoying fashion. I automatically felt suspicious of her and uncomfortable with the situation.

_She's been watching my Compass shenanigans with Izzy… _

I held out the offending Compass to her. "Here," I said bluntly. She took it from me, still with that smug smile plastered all over her face. She gave me a look like she knew something.

_You don't know anything. Stop it. Stop it. _

She didn't stop it, so I turned and walked away feeling enormously annoyed by her. "What did it point to, Jack?" she called after me, her voice oozing smugness and self-satisfaction from every syllable. I stopped moving.

"Nothing," I said quickly, not sure whether to look her in her smug face or not. _Do I sound like I'm hiding something?_

"Is that what you told Izzy?" she asked. _Keep your voice down._ I don't even have to look at her to know that I want to punch her in the face. My mouth hung open, but nothing came out of it. I frowned at the effort it seemed to take me to form a word. I hoped that maybe if I stopped moving she would lose interest and go away. I had no such luck. "Well, Jack?" she pressed. "Is it?"

"What does this have to do with her?" I asked innocently. Or, at least, I tried to sound innocent, but the words felt heavy and clumsy in my mouth.

"I think it has a lot to do with her… but you already know that, don't you Jack?"

_Oh God. Oh God… she thinks she knows. _

_You know nothing, future Mrs Eunuch… there is nothing to know._

_Oh God, I feel a bit sick._

I cleared my throat and clenched my fists in an effort to stop them from feeling so clammy. "I don't know what you mean, love," I replied.

"Oh, I think you do, Captain Sparrow," she continued on in a way that made me want to take her down a peg or two. _Do you, now?_

_She knows nothing._

"Care to enlighten the rest of us mere mortals?" I challenged her, feeling brave enough to call her bluff… _If it is a bluff, Jack-y._

_Yes, it is… what else could it be?_

"I think you're in love, Jack," she said bluntly. I froze up completely. My stomach flipped over inside my insides. _That cannot be healthy. _Hearing someone say it out loud made me feel physically sick and unstable. _I need a lie down… maybe the heat is getting to me. _Elizabeth wasn't finished. "And as for enlightening people, I've already shared my thoughts with Isabelle."

_Isabelle… she thinks I'm love with Isabelle._

_Oh God._

I whipped around to face her without meaning to. I didn't even realize I had done it until I saw the self-satisfied smile stuck all over her face._ I am going to throw up all over it. I really, truly am. _"What?" was the only word I could manage. Elizabeth's stupid, rancid smile widened, but she didn't say anything else. She looked like she was about to walk away. _Oh God I'm going to be sick. _I could feel it rising in my throat and then, "What did she say?" was the only thing that came up.

_Why?_

_Why do I care?_

_I don't. I don't. _

But still I waited for Elizabeth's answer. "Don't worry; she's a clueless as you pretend to be. She thinks it's some unknown prostitute of Tortuga."

_Does this mean that she doesn't… she doesn't…_

_No, I don't care._

I felt both relieved and a little let-down at the same time. It was an odd mix of feelings that I didn't much care for. I had to cover it with my usual nonchalance. "You're both delusional, love," I said dismissively, turning to walk away again.

"Then why doesn't you're Compass work?" she asked, but I pretended that I hadn't heard her.

_If only I knew, love. If only I knew._

* * *

_Well, well… now where did you get that?_

I ran my eye over the Letters of Marque that Elizabeth had produced, they seemed authentic enough. Just touching the parchment repulsed me and made me feel sick to my very core. It was nice to know that Gibbs looked as repulsed as I felt. Izzy just looked downright confused. "How did you get those from Beckett?" she asked Elizabeth.

_Oh… not that slimy little shrimp of a man. He's too disgusting to even be called a Goon. I'm sure there's a height restriction on Goonism and he is far too short._

"Beckett?" Gibbs looked worriedly at me. _Urgh._

"Yes," Elizabeth nodded, peering anxiously at them in case I stole them from her. _Fair enough… I probably will._ "They're signed by Lord Cutler Beckett of the East India Trading Company."

_Urgh._

"Will was working for Beckett and he never said a word," obviously Gibbs felt it his duty to state the obvious. _What a hideous little cretin that Eunuch is. _"Beckett wants the compass… only one reason for that."

_Urgh._

"Of course," I said. _He's not getting his hands on my lovely Compass. _"He wants the chest."

_Bugger._

"Yes, he did say something about a chest," Elizabeth piped up. _Yes… we know that, love._

Gibbs looked as sickened as he should be, "If the Company controls the chest, they control the seas."

_Bugger._

"A truly discomforting notion," I noted, feeling the discomfort in the pit of my stomach.

"And bad," Gibbs said darkly. "Bad for every mother's son who calls himself pirate." _Well that's a little bit of an overreaction, but I agree with your basic principles. _He glanced up at the sails of the _Pearl. _"I think there's a bit more speed to be coaxed from these sails."

As he left I glanced at Elizabeth. "Might I inquire as to how you came about these?"

"Persuasion," she replied.

_Cheeky._

"Friendly?" I grinned, knowing that would wind her up. _This is payback for being so damn smug._

"Decidedly not," she narrowed her eyes at me.

I opened the Letters and looked down at what they were offering. "Will strikes a deal and upholds it with honour and here you are standing here with the prize," this amused me more than it should. "Full pardon, commission as a privateer on behalf of England and the East India Trading Company… as if I could be bought for such a low price!"

_It's insulting really… but I shall be keeping them._

I slipped them into my jacket pocket. "Jack, the letters…" Elizabeth protested. "Give them back!"

"No," I said with my back turned to her. _They are actually meant for me, after all._ "Persuade me…"

"You do know Will taught me how to use a sword," she said in an attempt to sound threatening. _That can't possibly be a euphemism because he is a Eunuch. _

_Also… I have seen Will's skills with a sword and they are… well, shit, quite frankly. _

"Like I said… persuade me," I grinned at her. She glowered at me before she stormed off.

_That'll show you._

* * *

It seemed that my last attempt to wind up Elizabeth as much as she had wound me up had succeeded. She sat on the stairs of the _Pearl_ looking as miserable as a Eunuch must feel on the inside. I didn't feel bad though, not even a little bit.

_This isn't over until I prove you wrong. And nothing says you're not in love with someone than hitting on their best friend. _

_This is the best idea I have ever had._

I sat down beside her on the stairs. It did not lift her mood. _Good. _"My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled." I said.

The future Mrs Eunuch sighed. "I just thought I'd be married by now," she said sadly. _Oh God… do I really have to flirt with someone as desperate as her? Desperate enough to marry a Eunuch… Dear God. _"I'm so ready to be married."

_A truly discomforting notion… nobody is ready for that kind of hell. _

I offered her some rum in the hope that she would be able to drink until she came to her senses. "You know... Lizzy..." I began. _Lizzy? That does not suit her, she's far too uptight. _"I **am **Captain of a ship. And **being** Captain of a ship, I could in fact perform a... marriage. Right here. Right on this deck. Right… **now**!"

_You see… if I were in love with Izzy, as you accuse me of being, would I be able to propose to another woman so eloquently?_

_No. No I would not._

… _Oh, God… what if she says yes?_

_This could seriously backfire. _

_I don't want to be Mr Future Mrs Eunuch. _

"No, thank you," she replied coldly.

_OH THANK GOD._

"Why not?" I feigned a protest, following her as she tried to walk away. "We **are** very much alike, you and I. I and you. Us."

"Oh. Except for a sense of honor, and decency and-and a moral centre," she hurled her unimaginative insults at me as if I would care about them. _And that's the kind of person you think would be a match for your best friend? Charming._ "And personal hygiene," she added.

_Low blow…_

… _also, untrue._

"Trifles," I breezed past it all. "You will come over to my side, I know it."

"You seem very certain."

_I am certain of everything._

"One word love:" I told her, "curiosity. You long for freedom. You long to do what you want to do because you want it. To act on selfish impulse. You want to see what it's like. One day, you won't be able to resist."

I grinned at her. _Who could resist all that?_

Annoyingly, there was no hint of annoyance in her eyes or tone of voice. "Why doesn't your Compass work?"

_Not this again. _

"Uh, my Compass works fine," I insisted. She didn't look like she believed me.

"Because you and I **are** alike," she said. _Dear God, I hope we're not._ "And there will come a moment when you have a chance to show it. To do the right thing.

_By 'the right thing' do you mean falling in love, because that seems like the wrongest thing of all the wrong things anyone could do?_

"I **love** those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by," I gave all those kind of moments that I had ever come across a cheerful wave just to prove my point.

You'll have the chance to do something... something courageous. And when you do, you'll discover something:" she informed me. _And what might that be?_ "That you're a good man."

_You don't know me at all, do you, love?_

"All evidence to the contrary."

"I have faith in you," she said. "Want to know why?"

_This should be good._

"Do tell dearie."

"Curiosity," she looked smug again. _You can't just use my own argument against me._ "You're going to want it. A chance to be admired. And gain the rewards that follow. You won't be able to resist." I glanced at her and saw that she had been sideling towards me. I was immediately alarmed. _When did the tables turn? Why is she using my own tactics on me? _ "You're going to want to know... what it tastes like."

She was frighteningly close, but I resisted the urge to flinch. She was trying to play me at my own game. _You can't just go along with my advances to show me that I wouldn't go through with it because I'm in love with your best friend. Because I'm not._

I turned to face her. "I **do** want to know what it tastes like," I said. She did her best to hide her surprise, but we were so close that I couldn't miss the flicker of worry in her eyes.

_You'll crack before I do._

I moved slightly closer, but did not close the gap between us.

"But- seeing as you're a good man," Elizabeth said hurriedly. _She's cracking already. I'm winning this. _"I know you would never put me in a position that would compromise my honour…" _You're the one marrying a Eunuch. There's no honour in that to compromise. _"Or your relationship with Isabelle…."

_She's right. There's no going back from this Jack-y._

_Izzy might never know. _

_She's her best friend of course she'll know._

_Why do you care?_

_I don't…_

_Do it then. Go on. If it's not a big deal just do it._

…_No. No I can't. _

I started to pull back, feeling something hot prickle at the corners of my eyes and not understanding what it was or why it was there. I looked away from Elizabeth and caught sight of my hand. I recoiled. _Bugger. _My skin began to bubble and boil and then the Black Spot re-formed.

"I'm proud of you, Jack," Elizabeth said, happy that she had won something for once. I was too terrified of the Spot to even reply to her. She walked away and then I saw something that made me feel twenty times worse than the Black Spot ever could. My whole stomach just dropped down to my feet as my eyes met Isabelle's.

_No…_

_How long have you been there, love? _I didn't need to ask her. I could tell from the shock in her face and the wideness of her eyes that she had seen everything. And I knew how it would look to her.

_No._

_No!_

_Bugger. Bugger. Bugger. Bugger. Bugger. This was the worst idea I've ever had. _

I called out to her, but she was already gone.

_Fuck._


	34. Awkward tension in a tiny little boat

_Shit._

_Bugger._

_Fuck._

I wandered over to the wheel, feeling sick. I tried to pass it off to myself as seasickness, but that was ridiculous for two reasons. Firstly, my symptoms were all wrong. My stomach was twisting and flipping over itself, and my heart was not only in a whole new unnatural position high up in my throat, but it was also beating faster that it would have if I had just sprinted twenty laps of the _Pearl. _Secondly, I spend my life at sea, why would I get seasick now? I tried to ignore it, but it consumed me. I closed my eyes and leaned heavily on the wheel.

_I need to find her. I need to find her. I need to find her now._

I had been in such a state of shock over seeing her there that I hadn't taken in which direction she'd gone in. _She could be anywhere… well… not __**any**__where, anywhere on the Pearl. Good job I live on a boat or I'd never find her. There's limited places to hide on a boat._

"Izzy!" I shouted. Half of the crew jumped and turned to look at me, but obviously none of them where her. _Are any of you called Izzy? No. So what are you looking at me for? _I continued to call for her, ignoring everyone else. The first place that I checked was my own Cabin, although I had no idea why. Perhaps it was where I hoped she would be. I liked it when she was in my Cabin and it was just us. It was the calmest I ever was. But my Cabin was empty and void of anything important. I shut the door on it and turned around.

_No. No. Where are you, Izzy? Where did you go?_

I ran down into the galley, just as Ragetti and that bloody dog came bounding up the stairs past me. That bloody dog started yapping at me.

_That bloody dog that bloody Isabelle saved with all her bloody compassion._

_Bloody brilliant Izzy._

_What have I done?_

I caught Ragetti's arm on his way past. "Have you seen Isabelle?" I asked. Ragetti blinked at me, looking confused. As usual.

"Er… yeah, she's down there." He pointed to the crew's quarters.

"Thanks, mate," I said and sprinted the rest of the way down the stairs. I found her sitting by herself on a bunk staring at the floor. I stopped when I saw her. She looked up at me.

"Isabel," I said. _What can I say? What do I say now?_ "Erm… Elizabeth and I were just…"

_Bugger._

_Bugger there's no explaining this._

_God, I'm an idiot._

"It's alright, Jack," she said quietly. _It is? _There was a small smile on her face. Not an amused or happy one, more like she was… disappointed… confused. I didn't like it. "You don't have to explain it."

"Do I not?" I was surprised.

"No," she was still too quiet for my liking. "I understand."

_Oh thank God._

"Good," I felt instantly better. "I was worried you wouldn't."

She stood up, still looking ridiculously serious for someone who understood. She gave a heavy sigh and took a step towards me. "Jack," she said softly, looking at me with a great sympathy in her eyes.

"Yes, love?" I said, brightly, trying to lift her mood.

"I don't want to be the one who has to tell you this," she began. _Oh. I don't think I'm going to like this. _She just looked so sorry for me, so apologetic. _She knows. She knows and she doesn't feel anything for me. _"But…" _Just say it. Just get it out. _"I don't think Elizabeth feels the same." _Wait… what? _I stared at her, to see if she was joking. She didn't look like she was. "I know that you love her, but so does Will and… well, she loves him back. They're engaged, Jack and there's nothing you can do to change that."

_Why the hell would I want to change that?_

"What?" I finally got the word out.

"I'm sorry," she said, looking like she meant it.

_What?... What?... No! NO! You've not understood the situation at all._

"Captain." _NO, WHAT IS IT NOW? _I turned to find Marty staring up at me. "We're here."

"Good." Everything inside me snapped within that one word and it felt like the least good thing in the whole world. The Isla De Cruces didn't even seem to matter to me anymore. I looked back to Isabelle. "We're not finished this conversation, love."

She nodded, but didn't say any more.

_Maybe I should just finish it now…_

_But what would you tell her Jack?_

_Oh, I don't know._

_Do you have feelings for her?_

…_No… of course not… I just… I just._

_I don't know._

I sighed and turned away from her. I hated leaving things so uncertain and with her having the wrong idea, but I didn't know what else to say. I wasn't even completely sure what 'the right idea' was. I'd have time to work out what to say to her once I had the heart.

Then I'd have all the time in the world.

The longboat was being prepared as I stepped on deck, but I barely had time to look at it before Commodore Goon stepped out of nowhere and grabbed me roughly by the arm. _Oh, God. I hope I don't catch anything from this._

"Can I help you, former Commodore?" I asked. _I enjoy saying the word 'former' to you. Keeps you in line._

"Isabelle," he said and I immediately felt a sharp twinge inside me. _I do not like your tone… or the way your face is. I've never liked your face, but I especially hate it now. _"If you've so much as laid a finger on her…"

_I've done more than that, mate. I've probably hugged her more than you have in your whole life._

…_don't tell him that. I don't think he'll appreciate it._

"I would never, mate," I said, trying to sound pleasant, but feeling the hostility growing within me. I had to fight to keep it out of my voice.

The Former Commodore shook his head, as unsatisfied by my answer as he is by his whole life. "It better stay that way," he said fiercely. "I've seen the way you look at her, I know your kind. Stay away from my sister. If you so much as _look _at her…"

Something inside me snapped. "Listen, mate," I said, more forcefully than I meant to. "I would never do _anything_ against anyone's will."

"Just **stay away **from her," he said again, clearly not listening to anything I had said.

"I'm not going to hurt her," I was angry that he would think that I would… that I _could. _

"I know your kind," he said again. He was speaking idiotically loudly for someone who was badmouthing pirates on a pirate ship. "And I know you. You think you could charm anything from anyone. It's disgusting to pray on the weak that way." _If you're calling Izzy weak you clearly don't know her. _"So do not try any of your tricks on her. I know you. You wouldn't keep her around if-"

"I _care _about her, alright?" I snapped. "She is so strong. She is so important to me. More so than you think. So why the _hell_ would I hurt her? I 'keep her around' because she's about the best company I've ever come across."

We glared furiously at one another.

"Yeah?" said Norrington aggressively, through gritted teeth. "Well, don't get used to it, I'm taking her home and as far away from you at the first chance I get."

He stormed away from me and I took a few deep breaths.

_Just for that, former Commodore, you are on digging duty._

Izzy sat awkwardly in the longboat looking as uncomfortable as I felt. She and Elizabeth exchanged a smile. Elizabeth was blissfully unaware of what Izzy had seen… or rather, what she thought she had seen. I'm sure if Elizabeth had been aware, she would be feeling worse than I did.

_Especially since she's the one who started this whole fiasco in the first place._

_What a terrible best friend. _

_I'd be a much better one for her._

_I hate how close they are, Elizabeth's a scummy lummox… how is that fair?_

I realised that I was absentmindedly glaring at Elizabeth as I climbed in to join them in the longboat, so I stopped. I was going to try and catch Isabelle's eye, but I accidently caught her brother's glare of hatred instead, so I thought the better of it.

_So much awkward tension in this tiny little boat._

I balanced my jar of dirt on my knee and silence wrapped around us as we pushed off . I focused on the island in front of me. _Land is where I am safe._

"You're pulling to fast!" Pintel complained after a while. I jumped at the sudden noise.

"You're pulling too slow!" was the whiney reply. "We don't want the Kraken to catch us."

_Oh, God, don't say its name… it'll hear you._

I hugged my jar of dirt a little bit tighter and wished it had the ability to hug me back.

"I'm saving me strength for when it comes." Pintel said in a gloomy tone. "Don't think it's pronounced Kracken anyway. I always heard it Krayken."

_ARE YOU TRYING TO CALL IT OVER?_

"What, with a long 'a'?" Ragetti sounded disgusted at the thought. "Krocken is how it is in the original Scandinavian and Kraken's closer to that."

_STOP SAYING IT. PLEASE._

"Stop it!" _Oh, did I say that out loud?_ I pulled my eyes from the Isla De Cruces and look around. "Shut up the pair of you!"

_Oh no, it was Isabelle who spoke, not me._

Pintel and Ragetti stared at her. This was possibly the first time they'd had a row with Isabelle and so they weren't used to her snapping like that. It wasn't exactly the first time that I had seen her angry. _There's something a little bit attractive about it_.

_In a terrifying kind of way…_

Pintel and Ragetti never said another word all the way to shore. I tried to catch her eye again, but she didn't look at me once.

_Thank you, love._

The boat came ashore and I jumped out first, the way a Captain should. "The Isla de Cruces," I said, by way of introduction. I started walking before anyone else could annoy me. "Mind the boat, watch the tide and don't touch my dirt," I said to Pintel and Ragetti on my way past.

I kept walking without waiting for the rest of them to catch up. A thought had struck me in the boat and it wasn't one I much liked.

_Why do I care what Izzy thinks of me and Elizabeth? Why?_

_I don't._

_No, I clearly did. It bothered me. It bothered me so much. If it didn't I wouldn't have ran after her. _I thought back over the conversation we'd just had and came across another unpleasant block in it. _'She know. She knows and she doesn't feel anything for me.' Why had that bothered me? Did I __**want **__her to feel something for me?_

I glanced over my shoulder at where she was walking with her brother and her best friend so many paces behind me. She was smiling and looked quite happy about something. I felt quite resentful for no good reason and towards nothing I could put my finger on.

_Clearly she needs me less than I need her._

_Fuck._

I felt stupid and I didn't much appreciate feeling stupid. It puts me in a bad mood. And my day wasn't exactly shaping up to be a walk in the park either. It was hot and I was tired. I was tired of being in mortal peril all the damn time.

_I could quite happily kick a sea turtle. Or a Eunuch. In the face. Multiple times._

Eventually I stopped and waited for them to catch up. I still kept my distance, not wanting to intruder in their little Port Royale bubble. Elizabeth was focussed on the Compass. I watched her wander backwards and forwards annoyingly until eventually she threw both herself and the Compass down in frustration.

"It doesn't work. The compass, it doesn't work," she said grumpily. _I've thought that before too. Many times. But you're probably wrong and an idiot. _"And it certainly doesn't show you what you want most."

I walked over to look at where the Compass was lying open. The needle was pointing at her. _Just what I thought… you were being an idiot._ "Yes it does. You're sitting on it."

"What?" she looked surprised.

_I have no time to suffer fools like you._

"Move," I shooed her away and indicated for Former Commodore Goon to start his digging. He did not look happy about it. _Good. _I went to sit by myself and waited for the Commodore's first day of hard work that he'd ever done in his life to pay off. I closed my eyes to block them and the hot sun all out of my life. I sat that way, calming myself down for what felt like a good hour before I heard the sound of the shovel hitting something.

_Aha. _

_If this is a chest of anything Eunuch related that she's lead me to I will need to shoot something. Immediately. _


	35. Fighting a Eunuch and a Goon

**Hello my pretties. I didn't realise how long this chapter was untill uploading it. So.. go and fetch some provisions and have a toilet break. I'm just thinking of your general comfort here. :P **_  
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_Well, well… could this be it? _

There was a great and heavy silence as we all crowded around it. It was indeed a chest… but was it the right one? Commodore Goon helped me lift it out, showing that he was far more invested in this discovery than he would like me to believe.

_You're secretly enjoying this, aren't you Commodore?_

I took the shovel from him and broke the padlock. _That was surprisingly easy… there must be more to it. Unless the whole key malarkey was just a decoy to put people off. _I lifted up the lid and saw that the chest was full of elegantly written love letters and tokens of affection that had been carefully and tenderly chosen with one specific person in mind.

_Don't need to bother looking at that old nonsense._

I brushed it all quickly to one side, revealing a smaller chest underneath. _Aha! _I pulled it out and set it down on the sand. It was far more delicate and intricately designed than the bigger one. _Is this it? _I lent forwards and pressed my ear to the lid. Everyone else followed my lead.

_Yes!_

I could hear a faint heartbeat from inside. I sat back up immediately and stared at the chest.

_Oh my God._

_I've done it._

_I've actually done it._

_I've saved my own life._

"You actually _were_ telling the truth!" Commodore Goon stared at me in utter shock and disbelief.

_Told you so._

"I do that quite a lot and yet people are still surprised," I looked at him and then smiled at his sister. She shared in my joy at having found what we were looking for.

"With good reason!" someone interrupted.

_Well that was rude, who said that?_

"Will!" Elizabeth jumped up.

_WILL?!_

_Oh._

_Bugger. _

Isabelle, Goon and I stood up and watched the Eunuch awkwardly embrace his future Mrs Eunuch, who also happened to be the Former Future Mrs Goon. _This must be sufficiently awkward for the Former Commodore._ They finally managed to pull themselves apart with what I can only assume is the same noise the Kraken makes when he suctions someone's face clean off. It made me feel a little bit sick. I checked to see that they both still had the correct faces. They did. Will looked at me.

_Oh. Actually, it's probably about to be sufficiently more awkward for me that it is for the Former Commodore._

"How'd you get here?" I asked, glancing around cautiously for signs of _The Flying Dutchman _or anyone who smelt remotely fishy.

"Sea-turtles, mate. A pair of them strapped to my feet," was his stupid reply.

_I sound nothing like that. Stop trying to be me._

"Not so easy, is it?" I said. _By that I mean both riding sea turtles and also trying to be me. _

_Is he going to let me off…?_

_Or is he a lying little rat of a man? _I eyed him suspiciously, urging him to keep his trap shut. "But I do owe you thanks, Jack," he said.

"You do?" _Where is this going…?_

"After you tricked me onto that ship to square your debt with Jones…"

_Rat of a man it is then…_

Elizabeth's explosion of rage almost burst my eardrums. "What?!"

"What?" I repeated, widening my eyes to look as innocent as possible.

"… I was reunited with my father," he finished, ignoring all the 'what's that were flying around.

_Oh I see… _

"You're welcome then," I said, hoping that would be the end of it.

"Everything you said to me," unfortunately, Future Mrs Eunuch was not done exploding at me. "Every word was a lie!"

"Pretty much," I said honestly. She quite clearly hated me, but I really didn't care about how she was feeling about this. _Your Eunuch's still alive and Eunuching about, you'll get over it. _"Time and tide, love," I said. _If you think I'm apologising after all the trouble you've caused me then there is something seriously wrong with you and everything you believe in. _I heard the sound of something being drawn from a sheath and glanced down at where Will was kneeling by the chest. _Wait… wait… what's going on?_ "Oi!" I said, because the only way you can get a Eunuch's attention is to make a sharp and sudden noise. They're a lot like dogs in that respect._ I do not like the look of that knife… and why is it so rusty? _"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to kill Jones," he replied as he turned the Chest round a little.

_Over my dead body, Eunuch…_

_Although hopefully not literally. _

I drew my sword and pointed it at his neck for what was not the first time in our acquaintanceship. "I can't let you do that William. `Cause if Jones is dead, who's to call his terrible beastie off the hunt, eh?" My stomach twisted as I said it. Will looked away from me, back to the Chest and stood up slowly. "Now," I said, as quietly and politely as possible, given that my life was at stake. "If you please; the key." I held out my free hand for it.

_This could all be over soon._

I was full of a deep mistrust for him, which is unusual. Usually, William is far too dim for me to mistrust and I can usually trust him to do something incredibly stupid. It makes him both reliable and predictable, which is both nice and also boring. In one surprisingly swift move he snatched the sword from Elizabeth's belt and pointed it at me.

_Ridiculous and overly extravagant gesture, probably in the name of impressing Elizabeth… predictable._

"I keep the promises I make, Jack," he said. _Is that a sly dig at me? Probably… fair enough, actually._ "I intend to free my father." _Oh for goodness sake…_ He narrowed his eyes at me. "And I hope you're here to see it."

_Ah. I should have known that there was some deeper, more ridiculously noble reason for all your shenanigans._

"I can't let you do that either, so sorry." _Well… this is a twist. _It was Commodore Goon who had drawn his sword. I smiled at him. _Perhaps he's shedding his Goonish skin._

"I knew you'd warm up to me," I said, lowering my sword to stand beside an odd, goonish new ally. But then he turned his sword on me. _Or not…_Will shifted so that his sword was pointing at the Commodore now that he was unguarded.

_But wait… now where does mine point?_

_Oh, right. At William. That's fine by me._

"Lord Beckett desires the contents of that chest," the Commodore said. _Ah… so an even bigger Goon than you already were, then? _"I deliver it, I get my life back."

_And Isabelle's too, I suppose…_

"Ah, the dark side of ambition," I narrowed my eyes at him, scrutinising him and everything that he was. He was using any means possible to get what he wanted. Perhaps he had learnt something from his time aboard the _Pearl. _It's just a pity that what he had learnt was not working to my advantage.

"I prefer to see it as the promise of redemption," he replied, sounding smug that he had a chance to save himself and his sister from what he deemed was a life of sin that was far beneath them. The Commodore lunged for Will and was blocked, so I went for him too, but he was ready for me. He managed to dodge us and I found myself face to face with the Commodore. _Who am I even fighting? _I ran after Will. The Commodore and I were both at his heels again at the same time. Will pushed the Commodore away I and managed to grab the keys from his hands while he was distracted. I ran, knowing that they wouldn't be far behind me.

_Can a duel with three people even work?_

_No… probably not, but we'll see. _

I quickly learned that in a three way sword fight you need to be speedy and on the ball. This was incredibly lucky for me, considering that I was fighting a Goon and a Eunuch, so had the obvious upper hand. It also involves a lot of running and underhand tactics. This was also good for me because I am well practiced in both. Norrington, however, was not. In an attempt to knock me to the ground he also managed to floor himself. I turned just as Will grabbed the key, which had flown from my hand. I swiped for him, aiming for his feet but missed.

"Bugger," I cursed loudly. _I blame you, Goon._

I scrambled to my feet and ran after the Eunuch. Goon wasn't far behind. The Eunuch managed to fend us both off for a few moments before I spied an opportune moment to duck down, hit Will below the belt and use that distraction to snatch the keys from his hands.

_It can't have hurt you that much. You don't have anything below the belt for me to hurt._

I ran as fast as I could, heading inland. I was sure for a moment that both of them had fallen behind, but then as I charged through the undergrowth towards a small, abandoned church I could hear someone running close behind me.

_Maybe I can hide out in the church and they'll just think I'm some kind of bishop._

I ran through the doors and up a flight of stairs. I could hear them gaining on me. _Too late to be a bishop now, Jack-y. _I turned and come face to face with Commodore Goon. The Eunuch was nowhere in sight.

_The Goon must have done something to him._

_Well, well… who'd have thought that in a fight between a Eunuch and a Goon, a Goon would win?_

… _probably most people actually, but still… it's handy to know for sure. _

We fought until I had a chance to kick him backwards and start running again. He was on his feet by the time I reached the top of that particular flight of stairs. I hit the ground before I'd even realised he had grabbed my ankle and tripped me up. _Come on, on your feet! _I pulled myself up as quickly as possible in order to block his next blow. I stared into his ugly, dirty sweaty face and swung for him. He grabbed me and, using my own weight against me, pushed me back into the wall. His eyes fell on the keys that were dangling from my hands.

_No!_

He grabbed them from me. I swung for him. Missed. Swung for him again. Missed. He pushed me and I went flying off the landing we'd been fighting on. I caught hold of a as I fell, which saved me from possible death and probable injury.

_Why the bloody hell is there so many ropes dangling about in here?_

A bell began to toll far above me.

_Oh yes, that's right. I'm in a bell tower._

As my rope took me down I passed a Eunuch dangling from the end of another one, who was on his way up. _How and when did you get here?_

My feet touched the ground and I heard William shouting something, which I can only presume was an awful taunt to Norrington from is vantage point at the very top of the bell tower. As I ran to re-ascend the stairs I bumped straight into the skeleton of a man who had clearly hung himself in the bell tower.

_Well that's not something anybody wants to see… why's nobody cleaned him up?_

I started my speedy climb of the staircase, wondering where the hell the Goon and the Eunuch had got to. When I reached the top I stuck my head out of the window to look for them.

_Did they both jump to their deaths?_

_Oh, no… wait I can hear them… but I can't see them._

_Aha! There they are._

I climbed out and walked along the rooftop of the ruined church to where they were still engaged in a furious fight. _This is awfully high… _I studied them both to see who had the key. _It's Goon. Go for him. _I snuck up behind him as sneakily as I could and tried to slyly take the key from his hands. Trouble was, his bloody hands wouldn't stop moving around.

_If I just… no…_

_Can I…? No._

_WILL YOU JUST STAY STILL YOU GIANT GOON?_

His hand was raised, keeping his balance and I saw my chance. I pulled it out of his hands and smiled at the keys. _Good to have you back. _

The Eunuch and the Goon both turned on me. _Oh bugger._

In my defence it did take two of them to knock the sword from my hand. And I maintained my position as current holder of the keys.

"Do excuse me while I kill the man who ruined my life," the Goon said to the Eunuch in an overdramatic fashion. _I am always getting the blame for things that weren't me. _

"Be my guest," Will looked pleased to let an innocent man such as myself die in his place.

"Let us examine that claim for a moment, former Commodore, shall we? Who was it that at the very moment you had a notorious pirate safely behind bars saw fit to free said pirate and take your dearly beloved all to hisself, eh?" Behind him, I saw William tilt his head in a rather confused looking way. _Yes, it __**is **__you I'm talking about. Fool. _I could see the Goon thinking it over; at least he knew who I was talking about. "So whose fault is it really that you've ended up a rum-pot deck hand what takes orders from pirates?"

"Enough!" the Commodore screamed in my face and lunged for me.

_Bugger._

I ducked and then swiftly and skilfully rolled off the rooftop to land gently beside my sword.

_Did that really just all work out for me?_

I heard the clang of swords start up again and I stood up. I looked behind me as I walked away to see that they were still fighting. "Still rooting for you, mate," I shouted back to the Commodore. I slipped the keys around my neck and carried on my merry way.

_And look who came out on top? Me. That's right._

_Do you know why that was?_

_Because I'm Captain Ja-_

_AAAHHH._

I landed face first in the mud. _What just happened? _I sat up and looked about at the shallow walls of dirt that were surrounding me. _Why am I in a pit?_

_It's a grave, Jack-y._

"Oh," I said to myself. _Well this is cheerful… must have been for that poor lad who hung himself. Dug his own grave, but obviously couldn't bury himself. Because he was dead. Pity that._

_Still at least it's not my grave._

I stood up and dusted myself off. I reached up and started to pull myself out of the shallow grave. My head emerged into the fresh air and I smiled. _Good, right back on…_

_Wait… what's that noise?_

_AAAHHHH!_

Something crashed over the top of my head and picked me up with it. I couldn't wriggle free and it took me a moment to work out what had happened. It seemed that I was somehow imbedded in a giant, rolling, wooden wheel, which was in the process of turning me upside down. _How's all this come about then? _

Something began to move slowly into my line of vision. _And where do you think you're going? _The key dangled by my nose. I could feel it slipping from around my neck, but my arms were pinned to my side.

_Bugger._

It fell down into the depths of the wheel as I hung upside down. I tried to wiggle my legs around, but then someone almost tripped over them. I became aware of the sound of a sword fight. _Ah, Eunuch and Goon… we meet again. _Once the world had righted itself I manage to stand up and run inside the wheel. _They key! The key! Where's the bloody key?_ I blinked at there was a metal bar right in front of me.

_Ouch._

For a moment I was blinded by the pain in my head and when I regained my sight I was lying on the forest floor. _ No! _I stood up and started running after the wheel, which was crashing its way through the trees with the small, pathetic looking figures of a Goon and a Eunuch fighting on top of it.

When I eventually managed to catch up with it I could see that the keys were hanging from a rusty nail just inside the wheel. I jumped in, keeping an eye out for both the keys and also treacherous metal bars. The keys were getting close. I smiled at them encouragingly and then the Eunuch popped his ugly face down and saw me. _No. Not you again._

I drew my sword and he swung down into the wheel to fight me. _You can't beat me, lad. We've been through this. _The Commodore was quick to join in on the fighting too. A three way sword fight inside a giant wheel takes even more wit and skill than it does on land. The trouble is, you see, is that running away space is very limited. Will had the keys for a fair while until I managed to grab them while he warded off the Goon. I pulled really hard and they came straight off the string they were attached to.

_Hahaha yes! IN YOUR FACE YOU BIG EUNUCH._

_Oh._

I ducked as he tried to swipe at me and climbed onto the exterior of the wheel. I wobbled precariously on top of it before I managed to grab the first branch I saw. I hung from it for a brief moment before it; I and a couple of coconuts fell to the forest floor. I landed skilfully on my feet. _This has been a particularly smooth-running day for me… pity nobody's been around to see it. _

A strange sound drew my attention to one of Jones's men crashing through the undergrowth. He was carrying the chest. I glanced down at the pile of coconuts at my feet.

_Aha!_

I picked one up and through it as hard as I could. His head came clean off.

_This really has been a very good day for me indeed. Perhaps I am lucky after all._

I made my way over to the Chest and crouched down beside it. The headless fishman's body was still wandering around, blindly trying to follow the ridiculous directions of his conch of a head. That's not an insult, by the way, the man literally had a conch for a head.

"… No. That's a tree," said the conch as his former body walked straight into one.

"Oh, shut it!" I snapped. _You're rather ruining the dramatic mood of this moment._

I slid the key into the lock and turned it. The lock opened and I lifted the lid. There, inside, lay the still beating heart of Davy Jones. It was a lot more repulsive than I thought it might be, considering that it was my chance at freedom. Nobody wants to see a severed heart sitting in a box by itself and if anyone ever tells you that they do you should avoid them at all costs. I picked it up, not enjoying the slimy feel of the thing or the faint odour it was giving off. _I've got it. I've got it. _It was then that I heard screaming close by and so I hurriedly shoved the heart into a pocket on the inside of my shirt and slammed down the lid.

_I need my jar of dirt._

I ran back to the boat as quickly as I could, pleased to see that I was the only one on the beach… for now. When I got to the boat I scrambled around until I found the jar. I managed to hurriedly empty some of the dirt into the boat before shoving the heart inside. I glanced quickly around before using my hands to shovel some of the dirt back into the jar.

_Bugger._

One of Jones's men got me from behind. I turned to fight him off, dropping the newly concealed heart into the boat. I had to fend him off with an oar. The next time I had a chance to turn around I saw the Eunuch was holding the Chest with a very, very confused look on his face. He always looks confused to a certain degree, but this surpassed even his usual limits.

_Bugger, I've left the keys in the lock. _

I turned round once again to knock my opponent back before I slyly did the same to William. As far as I was concerned, it was payback for when he had knocked me out with an oar on the Isla De Meurta. It was also the necessary thing to do, given the situation.

"Will!" Elizabeth's voice was shrill as she ran over to where he dearly beloved Eunuch was lying face down.

"Leave him lay," I said quickly sideling over to stand beside her in case she worked out what had happened. "Unless you're planning on using him to hit something with."

_That may be the most useful thing he could ever have done with his life. Perhaps it was his true calling._

I raised my oar and looked around at Davy Jones's fishy smelling men who were circling like vultures and looking far too pleased with the situation for my liking.

_Shit, where's Izzy?!_

I felt my insides jump in fear until I spotted her standing between Elizabeth and her brother, looking fairly terrified. _We'll be okay, love. _

"We're not getting out of this," Elizabeth was looking solemn.

_Gloomy…_

…_but accurate._

"Not with the chest," Commodore Goon agreed and picked it up. I stared at him. _Are we finally getting rid of the Goon? _He then turned to his sister. "Into the boat," he ordered. I saw her frown and knew that she didn't understand where he was going with this.

Elizabeth did, as did I. "You're mad," she said.

_I've been telling people that for a long time. Is he serious about this?_

"Don't wait for me," he told us. _Oh my God… he __**is. **__We are finally getting shot of his, stupid, interf-_

"James, no!" Isabelle said immediately. _Oh…_ I saw the panic in her wide eyes as she reached out for her brother's arm. "What are you doing?" Suddenly, getting rid of the Commodore didn't feel as good as I thought it might have. She tried to pull him back and he turned to look at her. Her voice cracked when she spoke, "You can't…"

The Commodore didn't say anything for a moment. He just looked at his beautiful little sister, who was standing in front of him with tears in her eyes. She blinked them back furiously. It was enough to make me want the Commodore to stick around. "You look so much like mum," was all he said to her in a quiet whisper. The pain filled her eyes and I saw her grip tighten as he turned. To my surprise, it was me he turned to. "Take care of her," he said sombrely.

_There's nothing else I'd rather do, mate._

I nodded once to show him that he was leaving his sister in the best possible hands. He turned and started to run with the Chest. "James!" Isabelle shouted and made a start to run after him and into the arms of Jones's merciless crew.

_No!_

My hands shot out almost instinctively and took a firm hold of her waist. I pulled her back towards me until I could wrap my arms around her properly. She struggled against me, twisting in my arms and screaming out for her brother in a way that damn near broke my heart clean in two. She kept trying to run, but I pulled her back into the longboat and sat her down.

"It's okay," I told her quietly as I held her tightly against my chest. I could hear her sobbing and I clung to her, thinking that if I held her tightly enough then she might not fall apart. I felt her try to push me away. She called for James over and over again as she struggled. "Darling," I said, finding it difficult to talk. Her pain was contagious. "Darlin', it's fine. Everything's going to be okay, love. I promise. Isabelle. Izzy, come on, love."

She stopped struggling. All of the fight left her and she collapsed into my chest. "James," she whispered, as she wrapped her arms around me. "No."

_Oh, Izzy, my darling Izzy. _

_Please stop. Please stop being in pain._

I hated this. I hated seeing her in such a state.

_If only I could feel all this pain for you. Take it all away. _

I started stroking her soft hair. "It's alright," I whispered because I didn't know what else to say to her. What could I say to her? Her one surviving family member had just run off into the path of almost certain death. She had no-one.

_That's not true._

"You've got me, love," I whispered ever so softly in her ear. The promise I had made her brother rang in my ears and in my heart. "I've got you. I'll look after you. You'll be alright." She pulled herself close to me, pressed right up against me with her head nuzzled into my chest. I had thought that the Commodore was mad for taking the Chest to draw Jones's crew away, but he wasn't. He'd done it to protect his brilliant little sister.

_And why wouldn't he? _I buried my face into her hair and inhaled her scent.

_Because that's what you do when you love someone. _

I kissed the top of her head.

_I'll make sure you're always safe._

_My beautiful little Belle. _

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	36. Guessing Games With Fish Face

**Hellooo! Since many of you didn't seem to mind the length of the last chapter, I wont appologise for this one actually being longer. However, I will appologise for being so bad at replying to reviews. I'll start sticking review replies in the author's note of the next chapter, because I'm very bad at remembering who I've replied to and who I haven't when I do it privately. Sorry about that, seems really rude. Also, I won't do it in this one because I'm really ill and might throw up any second. Too much information? Sorry. :P**

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* * *

_No… no I'm not ready to move._

Isabelle was still shaking when our dingy came drifting close to the _Pearl. _I didn't think that she was ready to leave it yet and I would have been quite happy to sit there forever if she'd needed me to. Her face was still buried into my chest, dampening my shirt with her tears. Her crying had eased off a little bit, but her body continued to tremble in my arms. People were either staring awkwardly at her, or doing their utmost to look anywhere other than her. I glared around at them all, moving my hand to protect Izzy's pain and shield her from those who didn't seem to care. My gaze fell on Elizabeth. She was one of the ones who were avoiding looking at Isabelle at all costs.

_You're the worst offender of all. _

The dingy stopped and everyone filed out. I shifted to gently take hold of Isabelle's shoulders and move so that I could see her beautiful eyes. Only they weren't looking quite as beautiful as they usually do on account of them being red and swollen. "Isabel, love," I almost forgot what it was I wanted to say to her. _Your eyes are just so sad… don't be sad, love. Ever. "Y_ou have to hope for him. He may get out of this. He's intelligent…" _Did I just compliment the Commodore? That's not right. _ "Enough..." _Better. _ "He might have a plan, darlin'."

_I bloody hope he had a plan._

She nodded and blinked away more tears that were threatening to build up again. It might have been because it was what she needed to hear, or it might have been down to her absolute (albeit probably misplaced) trust in me, but she didn't shed another tear after that. I used my sleeves to wipe the remaining ones away. She looked at me with those brilliant blue eyes. _How…? How did the Commodore do it? Just how could you ever leave her? _Determination had replaced the sorrow in her eyes and it made me want to scoop her up and kiss her right there and then. The intensity of it almost knocked me back, which was something that was both unnerving and new to me.

_Don't, though. Nothing good would come from that, Jack-y. You wouldn't take advantage of a bereaved lass now, would you?_

_Well… it wouldn't exactly be a first…_

_But no… not her. Not my Isabelle. She deserves more than that. More than me. _

She turned away from me and the moment was broken.

_What the hell was that, Jack-y? You've got a lot more troublesome issues to be worrying about. Snap out of it._

I was left reeling as she climbed up the side of the _Pearl. _I followed her, feeling a little weak- both mentally and physically. I came face to face with Gibbs, which made me feel even more nauseous than I was already feeling. "Where's the Commodore?" he asked us, immediately bringing up the one thing I had hoped he wouldn't immediately bring up. I glanced at Izzy, she looked alright… all things considered. I wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close.

_Stick with me, love, I'll keep you safe. _

"Fell behind," I said quickly. _Please don't press the matter Gibbs. _

"My prayers be with him," he said, not very sincerely. _Let that be an end of it. _I shot him a look to warn him off further comments and we made our way up to the wheel. As is usual with Gibbs, he was quiet only for a moment. "Best not wallow in our grief. The bright side is that you're back and made it off free and clear."

_That is so true. Lucky for me I-_

_Oh. Bugger._

_The Dutchman _rose up from the depths with its fishy crew at the helm. I clung to my jar of dirt and felt twice as comforted by it. _You don't scare me squid-breath, I have dirt and your heart. _"I'll handle this," I stepped forward to face the King of the fish. "Hey Fish Face!" I called to him, "Lose something? Hey-"

_Aaaahhh… WHAT'S HAPPENING? WHY HAS THE SKY BECOME THE GROUND?_

_Oh… I fell. Just walk it off. _

_IS MY JAR OKAY?_

_Yes. Good. _

"Got it!" I held it above my head just to prove that I was, indeed, still with the jar. "Come to negotiate, eh?" I asked him. _Well you're the lowest bidder in this negotiation. _"You slimy git! Look what I got! I got a jar of dirt! I got a jar of dirt and guess what's inside it?"

_I wonder if he can feel his sandy, sandy heart beating away in my lovely jar._

I grinned at him. Old Fish Face didn't grin back, which is understandable, considering that I was clearly going to come out on top of all this. I hadn't bargained on how confused he would look. And I hadn't counted on his confusion turning into rage so quickly. "Enough!" he shouted. _That wasn't a guess at all. You're not very good at this. _Right in front of me, hatches opened and a row of cannons were unmasked.

_Bugger…_

_Where did they come from?_

_This is not how you play a guessing game, Fish Face._

_It's probably best to run now… he doesn't look in the mood for guessing games or negotiations. _"Hard to starboard," I said quietly, my eyes still fixed on the row of cannons that were, rather worryingly, at the same level as my head. My orders rang out across the _Pearl_ as it was passed from person to person. _The Pearl _exploded into movement as Fish Face and his crew of fellow, but less annoying, fishy-faced fish faces started preparing to fight us all. By the time _The_ _Duchman _had started firing on us we had already turned and began our flight. I felt my beloved _Pearl _shake beneath me as we were hit a few times.

_HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL PEOPLE TO STOP BLOWING HOLES IN MY SHIP?_

There was a cry of "She's on us!" as the _Dutchman _turned to chase us. I didn't much like the look of it, but I wasn't overly worried. _The Pearl _is, after all, the fastest ship in the Caribbean. Faster even than one captained by a man with the head of a squid who smells like stench of a thousand rotten fish heads. Jones opened fire with a sneaky lot of canons that he'd kept sneakily hidden at the front of his ship. I made my way back up the stairs I had so elegantly tumbled down and stood by the wheel, where a Captain should be. Gibbs was there as another piece of my beautiful ship was blown to oblivion. I batted him away from the wheel.

_STOP __**LETTING **__PEOPLE BLOW HOLES IN MY SHIP, MASTER GIBBS. _

He stepped back and I did a better job of steering her one-handed than he had with both of his weathered old hands. I managed to get us out of range of the _Dutchman's _fire and pretty soon all I could hear was the sound of cannonballs splashing into the water around us. I glanced back at the ever-shrinking _Dutchman. _

_And that, Fish Face, is what you call the sound of failure. Get used to it. _

"She's fallen behind!" I heard the celebrations starting up around me and I smiled. _Nothing could possibly go wrong now. _I looked around at all the happy faces and let it infect me. I grinned at them all, breathing in the salty sea air of freedom.

"Jack," I knew that voice. I'd know it anywhere and it did nothing but help to enhance my good mood. I turned to look at Izzy and saw to my surprise that she was the only one on board who was frowning at the good turn of events.

_Maybe she just doesn't understand what has just happened… how odd, usually it's only Will who doesn't get these things. _

"I think she's falling behind, love," I said, just to clarify and awaited her radiant smile to return my own. It did now.

"So I can see," she said and her frown deepened. I saw her eyes flicker to my jar. "What makes you think that we're going to win? What's in that jar?"

_Of course, that's what she's worried about. She doesn't know. Do I tell her?_

"What, this jar?" I lifted it up to show her. "Dirt."

My joke did not lift whatever kind of mood she was in. "Why would you rub it in Jones's face that you have a jar of dirt?" her eyes narrowed slightly. "What else is in there?"

_You can trust her with it, Jack-y. She's the one person on this whole ship who can be trusted not to betray you. _I smiled at her, so sure that this was going to make her feel as good as I did. I couldn't wait to share with her what I had secured to keep us both safe. Keep us both alive and happy. For as long as I possibly could. _With any luck she won't want to go back to Port Royal after all this…_ I placed a loving hand on the lid of the jar. "Jones's heart," I told her and waited for the delight to dance in her eyes. I waited for her to hug me and join in my new love for life.

_Isn't this just the best news ever, love? Isn't this everything that could have gone well going well all by itself? Aren't you just-_

_Wait… wait… why aren't you smiling, Belle?_

_Why are you looking at me like that?_

_Oh my God, what's wrong? _

Her eyes had become cold and I wasn't sure what she was thinking. I was never really sure what Isabelle was thinking, but now more than ever I doubted everything that I knew about her and woman in general. She was shaking. I saw her clench her fists in an effort to stop herself from doing so. She looked like she was close to tears. _What is it, love? What's happened? Please say something. Please. _There was something in her eyes that I'd never seen there before. It was intense. She'd never looked at me like that, but it wasn't in a good way.

_PLEASE SAY SOMETHING._

When she did, it really wasn't what I was expecting. "You killed my brother."

_What?!_

_WHAT?_

"What?" I finally managed to say it out loud.

"You have the heart?" she said furiously. It wasn't really a question. "The chest James took to draw them off was **empty**?! He died to save us while all the time you had that bloody heart?"

_This does not look good for me…_

My stomach twisted horribly. _Am I ill again? _"But, Isabel," I tried to form words, but I felt sick. "We can… we can live…" _And we can live together. _

The anger she was feeling flushed her cheeks and burned in her eyes. The knot in my stomach twisted further. _I really must be very, very seriously ill. _"But James didn't! **You** could have gone in his place!" she jabbed a finger at me. _Maybe I'm dying. "_**You** had the heart! It's **you **Jones is after!" _I'm not ill. This is guilt. So much guilt. "_James was innocent and you let him sacrifice himself, knowing all the time that you had that heart!"

She started at me with that look I'd never seen there before burning in her eyes. _Say something, Jack-y. Say something to make this better._ "Isabel…" I tried to reach out and put my arm around her, make her feel alright, but she wasn't having any of it.

"I hate you," she said. _No. No. Don't. Don't say that. _She wasn't done. "I hate you! I hate you! I **hate** you!" Each one was angrier than the last and I realised that the look I didn't recognise burning in her eyes was hatred. Pure, simple, raw hatred. And it was directed at me. She looked like she was about to break down again. _I just want to hold her until she's okay. _

_But I've caused this. I'm the cause of her pain._

She turned away from me.

_NO!_

_NO, I can't lose her! _

I reached out to take her arm and pull her back towards me. I had time to see that terrible, terrible, heart-breaking hatred there before her fist came out of nowhere and slammed into my face. _OUCH. FUCK. OUCH, OUCH, OUCH, OUCH! _I was knocked backwards, feeling a little dizzy as she pulled herself from my grasp and stormed away from me. _No. No! Come back, love! I need you! Don't…_

I wanted to run after her, but my feet seemed physically stuck to the deck of the _Pearl. _I set the jar down on the rail and buried my head in my hands momentarily. My jaw ached, but the physical pain was nothing compared to how awful I was feeling. _I deserved that. I well and truly deserved that._ _How… how can I fix this?_ For a moment I felt myself run cold with a sickening fear and dread. _What if she never forgives me? What if I never get to speak to her again? _I looked at where she was standing on the deck through gaps in my fingers and suddenly her outline became blurred. _She'll never stay now. No way. There is no way she'll forgive me for this. I __**killed**__ her brother. _

I remembered her looking at me with her eyes full of pain when she'd realised the Commodore's fate.

_**I'll **__never forgive me for this._

I sank down further into my hands.

_I'm a terrible person, the very worst one I know._

_Fuck. _

_What have I done?_

_She's gone now, Jack-y. You've blown it now. _

As my thoughts began to spiral downwards into despair I was jolted from them by a literal jolt of the _Pearl. _I was flung forward. Something smashed. _Fuck._

I looked down to where the jar had smashed on the deck beneath me. There was sand everywhere, but no sign of the heart. _Where is it? Bugger, where is it? _I ran down the stairs to the mountain of sand and broken glass and hurriedly began feeling my way through it. There was nothing but sand beneath my fingertips. "Where is it?" I looked around. "Where is the thump-thump?"

_Did it roll away?_

I continued to sift through the sand. _Where are you? Where are you? Where are you?_

"Must have hit a reef," someone shouted across the deck.

_Where are you? Where are you? Where are you? _

"It's not a reef!" the Eunuch shouted out to everyone. "Get away from the edge!"

_Come on. Come on. You have to be somewhere. _

"What is it?" the future Mrs Eunuch sounded terrified.

"The Kraken."

_**FUCK.**_

_No. No. No. No. No._

_What do I do? What the fuck do I do? _

In my state of blind panic I could neither see nor hear anything properly. There was commotion and chaos all around me, but it seemed that everything inside me had stopped very suddenly. Then it all came crashing down at once and I stood up. _I have to get out of here. I need to leave. I need to run._

When I looked around everyone was far too busy to notice me slip off into a longboat. It was difficult to row with such shaky hands, but I managed it quickly enough. For a moment there was no sign of any movement below the waves. _What if it knows? What if the Kraken somehow knows I'm not on board? What if it gets me here? _I wasn't far off when the Kraken's giant tentacles began to snake their way up the sides of my ship. Another moment later, all the sound on board the _Pearl _died out.

_What are they doing?_

_Keep rowing, Jack-y. It doesn't matter. _

There was an explosion of cannon fire and I watched the tentacles sink back down. There was another moment of complete stillness. I glanced around. _What about now? Does it know now?_

_Keep rowing. _

I put my head down and concentrated on the oars. There was a sickening crash and I could hear screams even though I was now a safe distance from the _Pearl. _

_Don't look up._

_Keep rowing. _

_Don't look up._

_Too late._

I looked up. The Kraken, having learnt from its previous mistake, had managed to grip onto the _Pearl _and attack her from both sides, ripping into her. I could hear people screaming, hear futile gunshots and cannon blasts, see the _Pearl _braking.

_You'll lose the Pearl, Jack-y._

_She's just a ship. Keep rowing. _

_There are people dying out there, Jack-y. _

_None of them are me, though. Keep rowing. _

_One of them might be Izzy._

I stopped rowing and looked at the _Pearl._

_For all you know she's already dead. _

… _So? She hates you… remember?_

I glanced behind me at the strip of land I was aiming for.

_I could make that. I could easily make that if I kept going. _

I took a long hard look at the land. It wasn't close, but it was close enough. I could stay alive there and be free to do so. Jones couldn't get me there. These thoughts weren't as appealing as I thought they might be. _What's wrong? What's wrong with you living?_

_It's just… It's just…_

_Well…_

_Izzy won't be there. She'd definitely be dead._

_She hates you, leave her to die. _

_No. No I don't want to. _

I turned my head slowly back around to look at the _Pearl. Why? Why am I doing this to myself? I know what will happen._

I picked up my Compass and flipped it open. The needle started up its usual spinning.

_Tell me I want to go to land. Where I'm safe. _

_Tell me I don't want to go back to the Pearl. Where there's a strong possibility I'll end up dead. And a stronger possibility that Isabelle already is. _

_She hates me. She hates me. It should be fine to leave her. _

_I could try hating her too. _

_I can't._

The needle kept spinning. _Why?_

_I love her too much. _

The needle stopped, pointing back at the _Pearl, _pointing back at my Belle. _No good ever comes of falling in love, Jack-y, you knew that. And you went and did it anyway. Now look where it's got you. _Now I had no choice but to turn the longboat around and go back to rescue whatever was left of my darling Izzy. That brilliant, beautiful creature I'd probably left to die. The one person I'd trusted since that fucking mutiny lead by fucking Barbossa when he'd fucked me over. And I'd left her to the Kraken. It was a good job she already hated me. _I am such an idiot. _The best case scenario was that I saved her, somehow, from the grip of the Kraken and she never spoke to me again on account of me being a cowardly bastard who indirectly murdered her brother. That I could live with. As long as she was alive and well and eventually happy, once she'd gotten over all the damage I had caused, that would be okay. I could deal with that. What I couldn't deal with, was if I found her dead. Because that would be my fault. I'd rather she never spoke to me again of her own free will, than because her lips had been silenced by the cold finger of death.

I sprang out of the longboat the second that it came into contact with the side of the _Pearl _and scrambled up the steps along the side. _Where are you, my darling Izzy? _I looked around at the chaos that had engulfed the _Pearl. _It seemed that there were very few people left on board. I ran up to the wheel, the last place I had spoken to her and looked out onto the deck. I couldn't see her. I couldn't see her anywhere.

_No. Please. No._

I could see the Eunuch dangling from a net full of barrels and for a moment I was utterly confused. Then I saw his Missus dart out from my Cabin and run up the stairs to where a gun was lying. She tripped on her way up, seemingly desperate to reach it. _Aha! I think I see where this is going. Clever plan. _I walked over and stepped on the gun, trapping it. Elizabeth's face twisted in frustration as she tried to push my boot off it. She looked up at me and her mouth dropped open. I studied her face. She didn't look upset. _I hope this means that Belle's okay… surely she'd be upset if she wasn't?_

I picked up the gun and aimed it at where William was trying to cut himself free of the net. I saw him drop to the deck and held the gun steady. _Not yet… not yet… not yet… NOW!_

I pulled the trigger at the first opportune moment that I saw. At a time where I thought I could cause optimum damage to the massive, vile creature. Everything went up in smoke and flames. The severely injured Kraken sank back down. I looked around as what was left of the crew began to emerge. I could see Gibbs, Marty, Cotton… _Where is she? _…Pintel, Raget- _There she is!_

_She's alive! She's all right. _

_Let's keep it that way, just like I promised. _

"Captain! Orders!" Gibbs shouted. I made my way down on to the lower deck. Isabelle looked at me for a split second and then looked away again.

"Abandon ship," I said quietly. "Into the longboat."

"But Jack!" Gibbs shouted after me. "The _Pearl_…"

_I know. _I looked around at her.

"She's only a ship, mate," I said. _There are more important things than ships. _

"He's right," Elizabeth agreed with me for what might have been the first time in her life. "We have to head for land."

"That's a lot of open water," Pintel frowned at Gibbs and I. I looked away from them and back at the carnage that was left on the _Pearl. _

"That's a lot of water," Ragetti agreed.

"We have to try!" Will said. "We can get away as it takes down the _Pearl_!"

"Aye," even Gibbs was beginning to come round to the idea. It was after all, our only hope. "Abandon ship. Abandon ship or abandon hope."

The survivors started to do just that. One by one they turned. I stood to block Izzy's way, forcing her to look me in the eyes. I could tell that her rage hadn't died, but there was just something she had to know. Telling her would probably do nothing to repair the damage I'd done, but I had to try. "If we don't get out of this, love, I want you to know..."

She pushed past me as if I hadn't even spoken. I should have seen it coming.

… _I love you._

I watched her climb to safety and my heart almost broke. I turned around to look at the _Pearl, _resting my hand on the mast for the very last time. _I've lost the Pearl, I've lost Belle… and there's nobody to blame but myself. _ I walked over to look up at the sails one last time before the Kraken took the _Pearl_ back down to the depths.

"Thank you, Jack," Elizabeth said quietly. _What do you want? _I turned.

"We're not free yet, love," I reminded her.

"You came back," she looked almost… proud of me? _I didn't do it for you. _She took a step towards me. "I always knew you were a good man." I frowned at her. _It wasn't you that made me so. _

She kept moving towards me. I felt my frown deepen. _What's she doing? _Suddenly her lips were on mine and I didn't know what to do. _Get off me. _I'd never been involved in a kiss that I hadn't wanted before. You would think that it might have been pleasant, but it wasn't. It didn't mean anything. No kiss of mine had ever meant anything. And I was so bored of that. _I need to get her as far away from me as possible. This is all wrong. This is disgusting. What is she playing at? I feel sick. _She pushed me backwards into the mast and I heard a click. I opened my eyes as Elizabeth finally pulled away from me. I didn't know whether to laugh, cry or be sick. She'd chained me up.

"It's after you, not the ship. It's not us. This is the only way, don't you see? I'm not sorry," Elizabeth said, looking a lot like what she swore she'd never become. A ruthless, selfish, backstabbing murderess who'd betrayed me, her friends and even her beloved William in order to save her own skin. Despite everything, I smiled. _Well, well, how the tables have turned…_

"Pirate," I taunted her. She glared at me for a moment before she turned and ran down to take her place in the waiting longboat. Nobody came back up for me. I turned to look at where my left hand was cuffed to the mast.

_Right… time to work out how to get out of this one, Jack-y. _

I tried pulling and tugging and wriggling and rattling, but I was stuck fast. I put my foot on the base of the mast to see if I could wrench the chain free of it. Or snap the shackles somehow. I cursed it as I did so for being so stubborn and stuck. The _Pearl _pitched slightly beneath my feet and I stopped.

It was then that the screaming started.

_Isabelle._

I could hear her voice carrying out across the water and I immediately felt a deep pain rip through me. It was me she was calling for. She sounded in so much pain; I couldn't bear to hear it. _I'm coming, my darling. _As she began to scream for them to let her go I drew my sword and reached out as far as I could to hook up an oil lantern that was lying a few feet away.

_I can't let her come back here. I can't. It's dangerous._

I swung the lantern and smashed it against the mast. I dripped the oil onto my hand and then pulled as hard as I could. My poor Izzy was still calling for me. I wished that I could answer her, but I didn't want to give her false hope, or encourage her to follow out her threats to swim back to me. My hand started to squeeze its way out of the handcuff. _Yes! The oil was helping. _I glanced up in the direction of Izzy's screams. They were getting increasingly more frantic, but fainter by the moment as they rowed her away from me. Each one cut deep into my soul. My heart began to tear.

_Stay safe until I can reach you. I'm on my way. _

My hand slipped free and I smiled at it. I've never been so happy to see my own hand in my whole life. Then I became aware of an awful stench and something colossal breathing down my neck. Tentacles snaked their way into my line of vision and I knew that the Kraken was right behind me. I was free now. I might not make it, but I could try. I could try and run for it. I could dive off the side of _Pearl _and swim to the longboat.

_Swim into the arms of my Isabelle._

But it was for exactly that reason that I knew I wouldn't. I could hear the way she was screaming for me and I could hear exactly what this was doing to her. All I could picture in my head was her face and those eyes. Miserable and full of pain. All because of me. And it wasn't the first time I had caused her that amount of pain, either. She deserved to be happy. More than that, she deserved to be alive. If I tried to run and made it as the _Pearl _went down, she'd be in danger all over again. It was suddenly painfully obvious how her brother had managed to turn her back on her and sacrifice himself to save her, even though it cause her a vast amount of distress. She was worth the sacrifice. If there was one thought that I hated more than the thought of causing her pain, it was the thought of causing her death.

"I love you, Isabelle Norrington," I said quietly. _There, I said it. Out loud. It counts. _And then my heart broke because they were words that she would never hear.

I turned my back on her screams and faced the Kraken's monstrous teeth. It opened its jaws and let out an almighty roar that almost knocked me off my feet and splattered me in mucus that smelt as bad as Gibbs was fond of saying it would.

_Well… perhaps not a thousand rotting corpses… maybe only nine hundred and ninety nine. Guess I'll make it a thousand, then._

_That's enough, Jack-y. This is serious now. _

I glanced down and saw a familiar looking hat lying on the deck. Mine. At least I'd gotten that back. I bent down and scooped it up. It felt right to have it back on my head. I looked up at the Kraken once more. It was waiting for me, it was in no rush. It knew as well as I did that I wasn't going anywhere.

_I'll fight to my last breath, beasty. No matter how soon that may be._

For a moment, I was full of fear. Death had always been a thing that terrified me. And now here I was, face to face with it. I drew my sword and let the sound of Izzy's screams fill my head. I pictured her- her eyes, her nose, her lips, her hair and suddenly I didn't feel quite so scared anymore. _Thank you, Izzy, for teaching me that there is something worth dying for. You. _The Isabelle in my head smiled in a way that told me she'd lead a good life -a happy life, a long life- without me.

It was this image I clung to as I ran into the jaws of the Kraken.

_Goodbye, my darling Belle. _

_I love you, enternally, even in death._


	37. My Unfavourite View

_What…?_

_What's going on?_

_And why is it so bright?_

I opened my eyes and the terrible brightness got a thousand times worse. I hurriedly shut them again and continued to lie where I was. I was hot. Far too hot. Uncomfortably so. It would probably have been a thousand times better if there had been some wind, even just a little bit to breeze past me, whisper in my ear and let me know that I wasn't about to boil to death anytime soon. As it was, I was fairly convinced that I would soon start evaporating where I lay. _If there's no wind… am I inside? _I reasoned that I must be because there was no way that anywhere that was outside would have absolutely no wind. I opened my eyes slowly.

_Oh._

_Wasn't expecting that. _

_Wasn't expecting that at all. _

Above me was a seemingly endless sky that was so clear that I don't think it would have known what a cloud was unless one had floated up to it and introduced itself in a loud and clear voice. Or maybe it would need it in writing, just so it could be completely sure what a cloud was. Now, it may sound like a sky that clear would be a good thing- that it would be bright blue and beautiful. It wasn't. The sun was so bright and blinding that it had pushed the colour right out of everything, which was not only rude, but also extremely unpleasant. The harsh rays had faded the usual blue from the sky until it was pasty and pale and almost white. It was strange and not in a good way. I frowned and sat up, squinting against the harsh glare.

_Where the hell am I?_

_Oh._

_Yet something else I wasn't expecting. _

I had woken up on the deck of the _Pearl _with absolutely no recollection of how I had got there. It was not the first time that had happened, but there were many things about the situation that didn't add up. Firstly, this could not possibly have been the bamboozling result of a good and alcohol-fuelled night. I did not have a head ache or an empty bottle in my hand. What was strange and horrible about the situation… was how still it was. There was no sign of anyone on deck.

_Where the hell has my crew gone?_

_I never gave them a day off… are they all in bed?_

_And where the hell am I docked?_

…_wait… there's something very, very wrong here. _

_The Pearl _wasn't moving, not even a little bit. At first I had put that down to my reasoning that we must have been moored or docked somewhere, but there were two things wrong with that theory. The first was that I didn't have the faintest clue where that would be; I had no memory of giving any orders for us to go anywhere or even a slight notion in my head of a port or place that may have taken my fancy. The second was the very same issue that had first made me question my whereabouts- we weren't _moving. _Even when moored or docked a ship still moves, still pitches a little from side to side. It rises up and down ever so slightly in a way that lets you know that you're still afloat, which is a good thing to be aware of. It's a lot like a ship is breathing, to let you know that she's still alive.

_Have we run aground, then?_

…_No, no that can't be it._

As well as water not moving us, there was no sound of it from anywhere. Usually you and hear the sea if you're anywhere near it. And you can hear it especially loudly if you are on a ship. The waves aren't quiet when they're nudging at the bow of your vessel and encouraging you to go back out to sea. Even in the quietest harbours, you can always hear the see knocking on the hull. But now… now there was nothing. So there was no way that we could have run aground. Something was wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong. But what? What was it? I stood up and winced. All my joints and muscles were stiff and sore. Aching as if they hadn't been used in a long time.

_What the hell is going on?_

I looked up the sails of my ship. They hung there, limply, unmoving, confirming more than ever that there was not even the slightest hint of a breeze in wherever I was.

_How am I supposed to sail with no wind?_

_And… no crew?_

I had expected that someone might have got up by now. I know my crew are lazy and sleepy buggers at the best of times, but this was outstanding even for them. _How could anyone sleep on such an unnaturally bright day? _I moved out of the heat and down into the crew's quarters, fully expecting to be knocked off my feet by the level of snoring that usually blasts from the filthy men in their filthy bunks, but I was greeted by more silence. The silence felt.. _heavier _now. "Master Gibbs!" I called out and then I jumped at the sudden noise I had made. I looked around to check that nobody had seen me startle myself. Then I looked around again to check that they weren't all hiding from me in some terribly obvious place for their own stupid amusement. _I'll make them walk the plank if that's what they're up to… nope. Nobody's hiding. I'd be able to spot Gibbs, he's the worst hider I know. _"Master Gibbs!" I called again, louder than before and this time completely prepared for my own voice to break the silence. I listened for a reply, a noise, the sound of someone falling over, but there was nothing. "Answer me man!" I shouted, but no answer came.

I made my way down into the cargo hold, but it was empty. Empty of food, empty of people… empty of rum.

_The rum's gone too? This __**is **__serious._

"**Master GIBBS?" **I should as I ran back up onto the deck. I wasn't expecting there to be an answer, which was good because it meant that there was no disappointment this time. I scanned the deck again. Empty

_Alright, Jack-y… when was the last time you saw Gibbs?_

… _I don't know. _

_When was the last time you saw __**anyone**__?_

… _Okay, I don't know that either. I don't like these questions. At all. _

I sat back and tried to remember what my last memories were. Obviously, I remembered _The Pearl_, but where had I last gone with her? And where was I now? Frowning against the glare of the sun, I looked out to the horizon.

_Oh._

_Well that's…_

…_different. _

It really wasn't what I was expecting. The _Pearl _was landlocked. I had well and truly run aground. So much so that there wasn't a little piece of sea in sight. Not even a speck of blue to be seen, not a puddle or even a dribble of it. It was literally a sea of land. _Well… this is not my favourite view. I much prefer when there's not a dribble of land in sight. This is exactly the opposite of my favourite. My un-favourite, as it were. _It wasn't even interesting land. It was all one colour spreading on and on forever. White. White sand for all eternity. White was absolutely the worst colour that it could have been. It meant that there was nowhere to escape from the harsh sunlight. It reflected it back me, right into my eyes, making me squint at it. It was horrible. _There's no way to sail out of land. _There was no visible way out of this. I couldn't walk. That harsh white desert would kill me before I could reach the sea… if there even _was _any. Nothing could survive that place. It was empty and barren with nothing growing or living in it at all.

_Am I the only living thing in sight?_

I looked around again.

_It would seem so, Jack-y. _

I sighed. _Where is everyone? _

I almost opened my mouth again to shout for someone, but didn't. I knew it would be hopeless before I'd even begun. _Looks like I've only got myself to talk to… _I looked around again. _…which is fine_, _I don't need anyone else. I'm always the best half of any conversation anyway, so now that there's only one of me, surely that means that all of the conversation will be good all of the time. _

I realised that my mouth was still open and ready to shout, so I shut it abruptly. _Best not to start talking to yourself. That's the first sign that you've gone mad. _

_I'm sure that would be an easy thing to go in a place like this. _

_How did I get here?_

_Right, c'mon Jack, how'd you get here? Remember. What do you remember?_

_Many things… but are they in the right order?_

I sat down with my back against the rail, away from that barren hell and pulled my knees up to my chin. _Port Royal. _I remembered being there. I remembered being there without the _Pearl. Now why would that be? _I was in jail, I remembered that. _But then what? _I remembered being on the _Pearl _and at the Isla De Meurta. _But was that before or after I'd been in jail? And who was with me? And how had I ended up here…?_

_**Why is this so difficult to remember?!**_

The frustration that welled up inside me made me want to throw something. I was trapped. Completely trapped here. I couldn't even see the sea. I couldn't even smell it. It might as well not have existed at all for all it mattered to me. _I hate the land. I hate it. Why am I here? _

_At least I'm alone._

_Not idiots to clog up my life. _

The silence crushed down on me.

_Maybe one idiot wouldn't be so bad… _

_Not because I need company… maybe just to laugh at._

_No. This is stupid. _I stood up and walked to the wheel. My head was always clearer up there. _I don't need anyone. _I leaned on the wheel and looked out over that bright, bleak landscape. _You'll need to find a way out of this one, lad. _I turned the wheel in my hand just in case by some miracle it was possible to sail on this kind of terrain. Of course nothing happened… clearly miracles didn't reach here, wherever 'here' was. I looked again at the limp sails, having to squint against the ridiculously bright glare of that giant sun. The sun was not only brighter than I was used to, it also seemed bigger… and as if there was _more _of it, but not in a good way. It looked like it might be about to grow so big that it could consume me whole. _That might not be such a bad thing._

_Is that what happened to everyone else?_

_Did the world end for everyone but me?_

My loss of memory was not only frustrating me, but also starting to worry me a lot. I had memories, but they were so jumbled and so hazy that I couldn't piece them into any kind of order. It was difficult to know what I had been doing and when I had been doing it, which made it harder to place simple things like _who _I was.

_No, that's still easy._

_I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. The one and only. _

With that decided, I made it my mission to find out why I was here and how I had got here. If there was one thing that I remembered about myself it was that nothing was impossible for Captain Jack Sparrow.

_Think, Jack. Think._

_Who do you remember….?_

_Hector Barbossa._

I did my best to gather everything I knew about Barbossa and collect it into one neat and tidy little pile in a section of my mind. He had a stupid beard. _Scraggly and unkempt. _And a stupid hat, one that was larger than mine. _Did he also have a monkey? Or was that a dream? _I didn't know, but the thought of that monkey filled me with hate. I also wasn't sure how I felt about Barbossa. There was resentment inside me, but I couldn't think why. _He's my First Mate, surely I shouldn't resent him_. I pictured him and felt inexplicable rage. Wait… IS_ he my First Mate?_

_Gibbs! Gibbs! I remember Gibbs. _

_Silly little sideburns. _He was a funny looking man, but in a much friendlier way than Barbossa. I didn't feel any resentment towards him when I thought about it. There was a slight bit of annoyance there, but that was down to his intrusive personality, nothing to do with him necessarily being a _bad _person. _Gibbs has never wronged me. _Had Barbossa? I frowned and felt my hands shake.

_The mutiny._

_The Pearl._

_Of course._

I looked around at her, remembering that she had been taken from me and that I had been left to die. Obviously I had gotten her back, or I wouldn't be standing on her now. But how? How had that happened? _Did I kill the mutineers? I hope so. It would explain why they're not here. _

_The Isla De La Meurta… I'd remembered that earlier… what had happened there?_

Firstly I had assumed that I had been there to get the treasure I'd been aiming for, but obviously that was not the case. The mutiny had stopped that. _So why had I been there? _I had definitely seen the treasure. I was sure of it, but I don't think I had any of it for myself. _Why? _

_Cursed. It was cursed._

I strained to remember what happened next, but it was blurry and hazy in my memory. It wasn't exactly as if it ended there, it just got more jumbled. I couldn't be sure what had happened before the Isla De La Meurta and what had happened afterwards. I wasn't even entirely sure what had happened on the island itself when I had got there. Had that led me to be in this godforsaken place? If so, how so? I didn't know. I couldn't see the relationship between the two events, the two places. At least the Isla De La Meurta was near the sea, and at least it had treasure, even if it was cursed. There was nothing shiny here. Nothing of value. No silver or gold.

_Not all treasure is silver and gold mate._

…_Ooooh!_

_I remember that being said._

_Who said that?_

_Me. I'd said that. _

_How profound of me._

_But who had I said it to? And __**why?**_

_Will._

I had completely forgotten about him, but I couldn't understand how that was even possible. Will. William Turner. _The stupidest Eunuch I ever met. _What did I remember about him?

_He's a Eunuch. _

_Yes… what else?_

_William. William. Remember William. _I closed my eyes and tried to picture him. That had helped before. I repeated his name over and over and over again. It wasn't pleasant to continuously think about the ugliness of his face, but I have a feeling that it was important. Important if for nothing else, but for my own sanity… which, I had already decided, was highly important for me to keep while I was in this place. It would be very easy to go mad here. And a mad person would not have the smarts to get out of here. A hint of insanity is always necessary in creativity. You need it to create something brilliant and clever. And I am brilliant and clever and creative, but that hint of insanity has to stay a hint or you'll end up as twisted as Barbossa. Or worse- completely incapable of doing anything. Which would mean that I would never, ever get out of here. _WHAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU KNOW ABOUT WILLIAM TURNER?_

_He has a strumpet he can't woo. _

_YES! Good… finally. Something. _

_Now, who is she?_

_Elizabeth... Elizabeth! Elizabeth Swann. _

_God I'm getting good at this. _

She was easier to remember now that I could couple her with Will. _Is she with Will? _They sure as hell were annoying enough not to have gotten together the very first moment that everyone realised that they were in love. _God, I hate couples like that. _If they weren't together when we were on the Isla De La Meurta then surely there was a reason for that… someone had to have come between them.

_Norrington._

_Ooooh…._

_Norrington. Is… _

_Is… Is that his name?_

He was a Goon, Commodore of the Goons to be specific. And I hated him. I knew I hated him, but not as much as I hated Barbossa. There was also something else going on… something that made me feel a little bit uncomfortable. _There's a little bit of me that wants the Commodore to like me… to trust me. Why…?_

_To trick him into doing something?_

_Possible… but no, no. That's not it. It's something far more complex than that. Tricking him wouldn't require him to like me, he's pretty stupid._

_To steal his ship then?_

_No. That's easy too. I've done that before. _

_What was it? What could it be? What on earth could be important enough for me to want a goon to approve of me?_

_His sister._

My train of thought stopped in its tracks. Something inside me flipped and turned over and jolted all at once. _His sister, _I thought to myself again. _I know her. _And I didn't need to question myself on any detail concerning her either. I knew them all. I knew what she looked like. I knew what she sounded like. I knew the way she smelt, the way she smiled, the way her eyes lit up when she laughed. _I know how beautiful she is_. I knew it more when she was happy than at any other time. I knew that I felt a deep need to make her happy as often as I possibly could. To make her laugh. _I know her happiness. _I also knew what she was like when she was angry- usually with me- when her face flushed and her lip curled and her eyes flashed with a fury that was both utterly terrifying and a little bit sexy all at the same time. _I know how feisty she can be. _I knew what it was like to talk to her, properly talk to her. And she would listen without judgement. I knew the way that she would protected me no matter what I told her. _I know what it is to trust her._ I knew what she was like when she was sad, when her heart was broken. The way the pain in her soul pooled in her eyes, crumpled her face and broke her heart. The way that seeing her in that state had made my heart ache.I knew what it was like to comfort her when she cried, to hold her close to me and feel a burning need to make her better. _I know her pain_. I knew the way that she would hold back, just as tight. More importantly, I knew exactly how she would hold onto me when I needed it the most. I knew the way her eyes would fill with a compassion and an understanding that I had never experienced before. From anyone. _I know what it is to be her friend. _Yeah… I knew her alright. I knew everything.

_I know what it is to love her._

It took a blink to make me realise that my eyes were wetter than they should be. I wiped them quickly. Then I realised that I could hear something. I could hear someone sobbing and I knew exactly who it was. I knew it well.

_Where is she?_

_WHERE IS SHE?!_

"Isabelle!" I shouted, hating the way that my voice echoed around an empty space and hating even more that there was no reply. "BELLE!" _It's her I can hear crying. It's her. _I had already checked everything below deck, but after checking my Cabin and everywhere above deck I re-checked everywhere I'd already checked, calling for her as I went. _Nothing. _The sound of her sobs were nothing to go by, they never got any louder or any quieter no matter where I went on the ship. _She's not here. _I sank down back into my previous spot on the deck with my back to the rail and my knees pulled up to my chin. I put my fingers in my ears to try and block out her cries, but they didn't get any quieter. "PLEASE BELLE STOP CRYING!"

The silence crushed down on me once more. Slowly, hesitantly I took my fingers out of my ears. She'd stopped, but I didn't feel any better.

"Where are you, Belle?" I muttered quietly to myself. _I hope she's safe… is she safe? _

_When was the last time you saw her?_

_I don't know. I don't know anything. _

_She's not here, that's for sure. _

I looked around again. "Definitely just me," I said out loud. _Talking to myself now, eh?_ _Does it count as madness when there's nobody else here to hear it?_ " 's good then."

"Lonely being alone isn't it, lad?"

I jumped. For a moment I thought it sounded like my father. "Who said that?" I asked. Because i_t sure as hell wasn't me. _

"I did," the voice said again. I turned to look at the person sitting next to me. _This cannot be real. _"Or rather," he said. "_You _did."

The person sitting next to me… was me.

* * *

**Hey :) So that may not have been what you were expecting at the start of AWE, but welcome to the first part of Jack's stint in the Locker. I want to spend a little bit more time on it than they did in the film, but as always, if you don't like it feel free to tell me :)**

**Review Replies for Chapter 36:  
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**PirateNinjaCJS: I AM SO SORRY I MADE YOU CRY. Please think happy thoughts from now on. Thank you for your review though, it was absolutely lovely :') I'm just glad that you like Jack and Izzy as much as I do. It's a relief. And thank you very much for existing too my dear :P**

GoTeamSkipper: Poor Jack indeed :( I hate that bit of the film, even though I know he'll be fine in the end. I don't know if Jack will ever find out Will's not a Eunuch, that could be interesting, haha. I feel much better thank you :)  


**Arianna Flamepelt: Aww, not you as well. There will be no more tears! I'm feeling a lot better thank you, and sorry that this took so long.**

lilylilyfairfax: Thank you :) I'm glad you like it, don't worry I'm not planning on stopping any time soon :P

**Thank you so much for reading everyone. Leave a review if you can.  
I love you all.  
LV xx  
**


	38. Myselfs

_Am I looking in a mirror? _

I stared at myself and myself stared right back at me. I tilted my head to one side and the other me didn't move. The only difference between us that I could find was that he was smiling and I was not. _Not a mirror then._ That left me with the perplexing problem of who he was. Aside from our apparent difference in mood, we seemed to be exactly the same. _He can't really be me, can he? _I narrowed my eyes at the man who was quite obviously just pretending to be me. _I don't really look like that._

_Do I?_

_Surely I'm better looking than he is._

"Who are you?" I asked him.

"Should you not be asking yourself that question?" he said to me.

_Well that response was both unhelpful and unclear._

"No," I was in no mood for this imposter's games. I was sure that I had been thinking about something important before he had so rudely interrupted me. "I already know who I am."

"And who's that then?" the imposter asked me. _As if you don't know. You're the one impostering me. _I must have hesitated for too long because then the imposter tried to answer his own question. "Captain Jack Sparrow?"

_Aha, I knew you knew me. Everyone does. _I nodded. "The one and only," I said. _That'll shut me up._

"Me too," the imposter said. _I don't like that. I don't like that at all. That's the worst possible answer._I frowned at him. This man, whoever he was and however hard he pretended he looked like me, couldn't possibly be me. That didn't make any sense at all. "But that's a bit tricky, isn't it?" he said. "Because if we're _both _the one and only Captain Jack Sparrow, we can't really be the _one _and only, can we?"

_This is utter rubbish. I've never met anyone who speaks such twaddle._

"Unless," said another voice. "That makes you the _two _and only." I looked up to see another version of me walking towards us. "Or rather…" he sat down to join in the conversation. "Now, we're the _three _and only. Which makes the 'only' a bit superfluous really."

_This man is ridiculously difficult to follow._

I looked at them both. "Go away," I told them. _Maybe if I blink he'll bugger off. _

"Can't do that, I'm afraid," the first, terrible, version of me said. I blinked, but they were still there when I opened my eyes again. The other me-s.

"Why not?" I asked myselfs. _This isn't right… 'me' and 'myself' should never be plural. _

"You'll have to go away first," the second me said.

_WHY DOES NEITHER OF THEM EVER SPEAK A WORD OF SENSE?_

_Also… that was rude._

I scowled at them both. They were smiling, looking smug. _How dare they make my own face look smugly at me? _I didn't much care for the situation. Or the company. _Why won't they go away? _I blinked several more times, but they stubbornly refused to leave me alone. I hated them already. They annoyed me for reasons that I couldn't quite place, but I wanted them gone. I looked away from them both, in the hope that if I didn't maintain eye contact with them then they wouldn't say anything further and just go back to wherever they came from. If I ever did find out what had happened to my old friends, I could never tell them about this. I could never tell them that there was more than one Captain Jack Sparrow. Otherwise they might not know which one was the original.

_If there's more than one of me… I can't be that original to start with. Maybe I'm not as unique as I thought._

_Nobody can ever know._

_What if they find one they like better than the original?_

_Wait… What if I'm __**not**__ the original?_

"You thinking about your old friends, lad?" myself said to me. I looked up at him and frowned. _'Old' friends? What does he mean by 'old'? Why would he say that? What happened to them?_

"What of it?" I asked myself, my voice full of hostility. Myself moved slightly, making himself more comfortable.

"Best to just forget them, eh?" he said.

"Why?" I asked, I didn't want to be talking to him, but he sounded as if he knew more than I did. "Where are they? What's happened to them?"

Myself shrugged. "Can't say for sure," he looked over at my other self. "Can we?"

My other self shook his head… or rather, _my _head at me. _This is all getting rather confusing, I'm not sure I'm keeping up. _"Nah," my other self agreed. "We only know as much as you do, mate. We could guess though."

Myself's face lit up, "Oooh, yes. Let's. I love guessing things."

"Well…" my other self began. "The crew have probably found a new ship."

"And a new Captain to serve," my other self chimed in. Myself nodded.

"No," I said. "They wouldn't."

"You think they'd come looking for you?" myself looked disbelieving. I tried to nod with some amount of conviction, but my other self was looking just as incredulous at the idea.

"I doubt it," my other self said. "How would they find you out here?"

I thought about the barren desert surrounding the ship. _Perhaps he's right… No, I'm their Captain. Surely they would still try. _"Face it, lad," myself sighed. "The crew will have moved on. I wouldn't be surprised if they followed Barbossa now. They've done it once before."

My stomach twisted into a horrible, horrible knot. _That's true. They have. _Despite the blistering heat around me I felt a wave of ice grip me, making me clammy and cold.

"I have…" I began _Izzy… she'd never give up on me. Never betray me. _I was glad that I had thought of someone who might at least try to find me, wherever I was, but I was also overcome by the sudden impulse to keep quiet about her. Neither of myselfs needed to know about her, it would be just like myselfs to ruin everything that was good about Belle and I. "… other people."

Myselfs laughed at me and looked disbelieving. "Like who?" myself asked me. "The Eunuch and his Terrible Strumpet? They're probably back in Port Royale and happily married."

"Ah, yes," myself agreed. "What an unhappy marriage that shall be… to a Eunuch. And a terrible, Terrible Strumpet. Do you think they'll have any children by now?"

_Don't be ridiculous._

My other self snorted with laughter. _Do I really look like that when I laugh? That's alarming. _"No. Not if he really is a Eunuch. And anyway, why would the Eunuch try and find you unless he wanted something from you, or more specifically, a way to help his terrible, Terrible Strumpet?"

_That was a fair point._

"He wouldn't," myself nodded in agreement. They looked at me for a reaction; I did my best not to give them one. But then I saw myself smile and I knew he knew what I knew. Because we were the same person, what I knew had become what _we _knew. "Ah-ha," myself said and I didn't much like the light in his eyes. He glanced knowingly at my other self. "He's thinking of Isabelle." Myself started to laugh. "He thinks that Isabelle will come and get him."

_Bugger._

I tried not to react, feeling closed off about the whole situation. I looked away from them both, thinking that would be safe, but that in itself was reaction enough. My other self wasn't laughing. He stood up and his shadow fell across me in the blistering sun. I knew he'd be looking down at me, but I never bothered to look up and check. "Best let go of that thought, lad," he said. He sounded serious, sombre… sad even. _Why? _That puzzled me enough to look up at myself. Myself's voice was barely a whisper, "she's not coming."

_Well not for you she's not. You big imposter. _

Something stirred inside me. It hurt a little bit. "You don't know that," I said, determined that I was right. "You don't know _her._"

I thought of how fiercely Belle had always protected me, defended me and I knew that if there was anyone who wouldn't give up on me, it would be her. _I trust her._

"I do," myself said and then he nodded to my other self. "We both do. Because we _are_ you, Jack-y."

_You're not me. Stop trying to say that you are._

Even my other self had stopped smirking at me and was looking serious. He stood up too. "Trouble is, lad, seems like we remember things a little different to you, eh? Isabelle Norrington is her brother's sister through and through."

_How dare you. _

I stood up then too and faced them both. I wouldn't hesitate to pull my sword on either of them. "Isabelle Norrington is a good woman. The best any of us have either known," I glared at them.

_Am I now just accepting these claims that these cretins are, in fact, me?_

_No. That can't be. There's only one Captain Jack Sparrow._

"True enough," myself nodded. "But that's the trouble, isn't it? The difference between you both. You are not a good man."

I blinked at myself in surprise, "I… I…. I…"

_I could be._

"It'll never work, Jack-y," my other self looked out onto the sandy horizon. "You're not a good man. You don't even want to be. Besides, why would she waste her time coming looking for someone she hates?"

I gulped, "She doesn't hate me."

_Why does it feel like I'm the one lying?_

"She does." It was said with such conviction that I found it difficult not to believe that were coming out of myself. "And so she should. You lied to her, you put yourself first as usual and you caused her brother's death. Why the _hell _would she even _think_ about you?"

_Is that true? How can that be true? Did I really do that to her?_

_It does sound like me. _

My other self sighed, "Best just to forget all about it."

Without warning I remembered Belle standing on the deck of the _Pearl _with her eyes blazing with an unshed pain and fury. I felt my stomach twist and I flinched all over again as she screamed the words, 'I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.' As soon as the memory hit me it was over and I was almost knocked back with the sheer power of it. They were right. I didn't know why I'd done it, or how Isabelle had found out, but I'd done it alright. I'd given her good reason to hate me. _Why can't I remember what I did? What's worth losing her for? _"Isabelle," I whispered her name without realising it and longed for her to respond. _I'm sorry_. It was baffling that I couldn't remember what I had done or why I'd done it. I started to worry. Surely something that important shouldn't have slipped my mind. _What the hell happened to me? How did I get here? And why am I here alone? _Myself leaned heavily on the rail and looked as depressed as I felt. I didn't like it. _I wish there was someone else here. Anyone but these two. _

_Anyone but myself. _

"Best to forget about it," my other self said again. "Forget about all of it, Jack-y. None of them are any use to you here."

_He has a point. _

"And," myself said to me in a tone I recognised to be my most persuasive. _Now, where is this going?_ "Forgetting about something is as good as it having never happened in the first place. And something that never happened to us can't hurt us now, can it?"

_That sounds reasonable... but…_

"Don't look so disbelieving. You know there's nobody better at talking you out of something than you." I was now being scolded by myself. This wasn't a new occurrence; however it was very different to actually be able to _see _myself doing the scolding.

I shook my head, "I can't forget." They didn't look like they agreed with me.

"You seem to have forgotten a lot already," myself pointed out to me. "You don't even know why we're here."

"Do you know why we're here?" I asked. I looked around again. The question of how the _Pearl _had come to be stranded so far from sea was a very pressing one indeed. "Where are we?"

Myself shrugged. "We only know what you know, mate."

_Well that's unhelpful. Maddeningly so._

"I can't forget _everything_," I said again, thinking again of Isabelle. "I'd have to lose my mind before I could forget."

"Well… Here you are having a conversation with not one, but _two _versions of yourself. I think your mind is already pulling out of the harbour."

My other self nodded, "That ship has well and truly sailed, mate."

I looked at them both standing there, looking identical to one another and, apparently, identical to me. Then something dawned on me that hadn't before and I couldn't believe that I hadn't asked myself this question before. _Are they real… or am I just making them up? _I stared at them both with a growing horror in the pit of my stomach. "I'm not mad," I said, feeling determined to prove them both wrong, but simultaneously doubting the words that were coming out of my mouth. All this time I had assumed that they were real people, but now… Now I was starting to question that. And I hate questioning things. I'm not usually the kind of person who has to question my own sanity. Many people rudely try and question it for me, but hearing _myself _question my sanity while I stood in front of myself was just… _What? _

_What's going on?_

My head was starting to hurt from all the confusion.

Myself shrugged, "You're as sane as we are."

_But you might not even be real._

_Well this is just… _

_Oh God._

_Oh bugger._

_What do I do?_

_Someone help me. Someone… please._

They stared at me expectantly and the silence stretched on. "What do I do?" I said out loud. _Please let this be a dream. A terrible, terrible dream. _I didn't want either of myselfs to answer, but it wasn't a shock to me when they did.

"Try and get out, I suppose."

My other self nodded. "Good idea. We are, after all, Captain Jack Sparrow."

'_We'… I hate that. I'm Captain Jack Sparrow… am I not? _

Myself laid a hand on my shoulder and I recoiled. _This isn't right. I hate this. _"You're the only one who can get us out of this, lad. The only one you can depend on. You know that. You're the only one you can trust. Trust me."

I looked at him. Or rather, I looked at me. _That __**is **__something I would say. _

_Is it something I would lie about?...Perhaps._

_They… sorry, __**I**__ have a point, though. I should work on a way to get away from here._

"Right," I said, stepping forward and looking out onto the horizon. There was still nothing but sand. "If the _Pearl's _here that means the sea must have been here at one point. Or else a ship couldn't be here. Yes?"

I looked at them and for once, maddeningly they said nothing. They just looked like they sort of agreed with my theory in general, which of course they would do. Because they were me.

I walked away from them and up to stand by the wheel. They followed me, of course. I swung myself up to sit on the rail and felt that now I was taking action and doing something to aid my situation I had a hope of being where I needed to be. I looked out across the horizon in every direction I could. I could see the other two (but clearly less superior) versions of me didn't understand what our plan was. "Now lads," I said to them. "All we have to do is wait."

There was a short silence.

_My plan was simple. _

_Simple, yet brilliant. _

_They'll think this is brilliant. Or course they will. Because they're me. _

"Uh…" one of me said. "Wait?"

_Oh for goodness sake. Turns out I don't even understand myself. _

"Yes," I said, trying to be as patient as possible. "Obviously the tide is out." I looked at the endless sandy horizon again and decided to correct myself. "_Far _out. So all we need to do is wait for it to come back in."

"Simple," one of me said.

"Yet brilliant," finished the other one.

_That's exactly what I thought, too. _

We sat out there in the blistering heat for hours. As each hour passed another version of me arrived to keep me company. I wasn't even surprised when I saw them. Sometimes they'd say something, other times they wouldn't. It didn't really matter. There's nothing lonelier than being surrounded by nobody but yourself. I'd been on my own before. Spent _years _by myself in search of the _Pearl. _And it hadn't bothered me… much. I hadn't minded being alone. I'd thought that I was better off that way. My own first mate and crew had betrayed me. The whole world had seemed an untrustworthy and desolate place. I had been so convinced that I would be in a better position if I was by myself. But that had all changed.

On my search for the _Pearl _I'd found something I hadn't expected. For the first time in years I'd had to travel with other people. Companions I'd had to drag around with me everywhere I went. I wasn't used to it, but I couldn't ditch them, they'd been important. But then something really unexpected happened. I'd found myself starting to like them. Worst of all; found myself starting to like the company. Even Will, occasionally. And also occasionally Elizabeth. They'd often annoyed me, frustrated me. But I still _cared _about them, worried about their future. Isabelle, especially, had shown me something and opened me up to something I hadn't found in a long time. And once she'd opened that door it hadn't taken long for it to spread like a sickness. Once I'd found it in Isabelle and even, sort of, found it in Will and Elizabeth, I'd eventually been able to rediscover it in Gibbs and the crew. I'd found friendship. A _real _friendship with people I hadn't expected to find it in and I'd started to think that maybe, just maybe, having other people around wasn't such a bad idea.

_Fat lot of good that did me. _

_Look at where you are now. _

We sat out there for so long that I was sure night should have fallen at some point, but the sun never set. It shone as brightly and harshly as ever. It didn't take long before the dehydration and hunger was eating me away. The tide wasn't even close to appearing on the horizon. I stood up, feeling awful. I was dizzy, my head was spinning and I felt queasy with a mixture of hunger and exhaustion. I needed to find something to eat and something to drink before I collapsed. That horizon wasn't going anywhere and the tide didn't look like it was thinking about making an appearance any time soon. Surely I'd be able to take a little break from my constant look-out to search for some sustenance.

I eyed up all the different versions of me that had now gathered around. Some were asleep. _Lazy gits._ I tried to pick the most trust-worthy looking version of myself, but it was difficult. _Now I understand why some people might have a slight issue with trusting me. It's a difficult call to make. _Eventually I just nodded to the one who looked the least bored with my plan. "Keep an eye out. Let me know if anything changes."

"Aye, aye Captain," he replied.

_It's good to know I'm still the Captain around here. _

I made my way down into the hull of the ship and it was only then that I noticed something strange. Something I couldn't believe that I hadn't seen before. The _Pearl. _My lovely, beautiful _Pearl _was broken. There were huge holes ripped into her sides where the blistering sunlight was streaming through and illuminating the debris on the floor. It looked like she had _almost _been ripped in half. I stared around at the mess and desolation.

_What the hell happened here?_

_And how didn't I notice this before?_

Was it possible that I had been so busy, so preoccupied with finding the crew and finding my Belle that I had _completely _missed the fact that my beloved _Pearl _was no longer sea-worthy? A knot tightened in the pit of my stomach at the sight of it. Whatever had gone on here was clearly bigger than I had originally thought. Perhaps it wasn't just a case of the _Pearl _having been stranded really, really, really far from the sea. With all this damage it must have been something else. Something worse.

No wonder there was no sea. There was no sea-worthy ship to sail on it.

_Well that has to change before anyone can go anywhere. _

Before I went back up to give my orders to all of the myselfs- lazy or otherwise- I had a quick hunt around for some food and drink. There was nothing.

No food.

No water.

No rum.

_Bugger._

Not a drop of the stuff.

_This is far more serious than I thought. _

All I found was one lousy peanut. I hid it well. I didn't trust myselfs not to take it from me for their own selfish reasons. They seemed like the sort to do that. I headed back up onto deck where the sun still had not set and looked around at the entire crew of mes. I clapped my hands to get their attention. _If any one of them tries to challenge me for my Captain title I'll run him through. _"Right, lads, listen up," I said. "Since you're all I've got here's what we're going to do. We've got to get this ship up and running again before the tide gets here. Which it will. It has to. And then we're going to sail back home and you're all going to go away. Understand?"

They nodded fervently. I wasn't sure quite where I would consider "home" to be, but it certainly wasn't on this barren, dried out desert. I'd know when I got there. And none of these other mes could come with me, that I was certain of. _If they're even… really here… _I shuddered and looked at them all, wishing they would disappear, while simultaneously knowing that if they _did _all just vanish into nothing I would be incredibly terrified. Sometimes it was best to dwell in uncertainty. Especially when I had no idea what was going anywhere else in this place.

It took months to get the _Pearl _ready to sail again or, at least that's what it felt like. I learnt quickly that the sun never set there. If you think a place where the sun never sets sounds pleasant and cheerful, then you have clearly never experienced nights on end where you couldn't sleep because the light penetrated everything- your innermost thoughts and dreams. Closing my eyes did nothing. There was no rest, no shelter from it, no food. It truly was hell on earth. Day after day we worked on the _Pearl, _building her up again until she was ready for the tide when it came. If it ever came. I waited and waited, all by myselfs for the tide to come.

_It has to come soon._

_Soon. _

_Please come in soon. _

But there was nothing. Not a speck of sea to seen as far as the eye could see. I missed its smell and salty taste. _When I get out of here I'm never stepping foot on land again. _I loved my _Pearl_, but she was nothing without the sea. She was stranded and broken. Even when we'd fixed her all up she was still useless, unusable and without a purpose. Sometimes one thing can be completely perfect and whole all by itself, but it just takes something else to come along and complete it. Give it a purpose and set it free. Separately the two things could be fine on their own and never realise the other one is missing, but they _need _each other to make sense in the world. I knew that the _Pearl _would be yearning for her sea; it was almost as if I could feel it myself.

_Maybe you can, Jack-y._

It wouldn't surprise me if I, too, had been longing for the sea.

_No, that's not it. That's not all you long for. _

_Shut up, shut up, shut up, I've had enough of myself talking to myself without my thoughts driving me mad too. _

The _Pearl _was fixed and still the sea never came, but I kept her running smoothly and ship-shape just in case. Exhaustion and hunger were eating me away. I wondered why I hadn't died yet, but I didn't dwell too much on the matter. I've never much liked the subject of my own death. It's best just to forget that'll even happen one day.

_Then again, even death couldn't be as bad as this absolute hell on earth. _

I patrolled the deck of my ship, making sure that everything was as it should be- clean and in working order, ready for when the sea came.

_If it comes._

_It will._

_It has to._

_What has to?_

_The sea._

_I love the sea._

_Where is it?_

_Gone._

_So many things are gone._

_Where?_

_Don't know._

_Maybe I'm the one that's gone._

_But how can I be gone when I'm right here?_

I frowned. _My head hurts. _

I had to stay on the constant lookout for any signs of trouble among my crew. My crew that was made entirely of me. I knew how fickle I could be and I doubted that I would enjoy taking orders from myself if I were in their shoes. One thing I had never been was obedient and so it was safe to say that discipline was a difficult thing to come by aboard the _Pearl _at that time. _Where's Master Gibbs when you need him?_

_Gone._

_Where?_

… _Don't start that again. _

I went down onto the lower deck to check that it was getting as well-scrubbed as it should be, when I saw something occurring that I didn't approve of, didn't much like. One of my mes, perhaps the greediest one, was trying to help himself to that on morsel of food I had been saving. That one little peanut that I'd kept for however long it was that I'd been in this place. That might sound ridiculous, but the thing with the intense hunger that I was feeling was that it was enough to put me in extreme discomfort, but not enough to cause me to die. It was the same with my thirst. So, even though there were times when the hunger and thirst made me weak I was never desperate enough to use up my last resources. Because, small as it was, once it was gone that was it. Then I would truly have nothing. As the other, greedy me raised my last morsel of food to his mouth I shot him back.

_There will be none of this aboard my vessel. I can't show any weakness. Weakness is what got me in trouble before. Weakness is what lets people think they can mutiny against you. _

_Weakness is what lets people think they can leave you in a place like this and not care about finding you. _

_Don't be weak._

I took the peanut from the fork it had been speared onto, "My peanut," I said and then I ate it out of defiance. Clearly, it had reached a point where no man could be trusted not to eat it. So to save it from being eaten unfairly, I would have to eat it myself. Now that it was gone it was of the utmost importance that we left here. "All hands slackened braces!" I shouted out to the crew of mes and listened to the ring of my voices passing on the message. The deck became a flurry of movement. I wandered around, surveying the handiwork of my may hands.

_Well that's not right._

"Mr Sparrow!" I called to one of myselfs.

"Aye Captain," he replied, looking nervous and rightly so.

"What say you about the condition of this tack line?" I asked him.

"It be proper to my eye, sir," he replied.

_Don't think you can weasel your way out of this one, lad._

"Proper?" I repeated. "It is neither proper nor suitable, sir, it is neither acceptable nor adequate. It is in obvious fact, an abomination."

_Wrong, wrong, why is it all so wrong?_

_Why can nobody here do anything right?_

"Beggin' your pardon, sir, but perhaps if you gave the men another chance," he suggested. _Fool. Second chances lead to second mutinies._

_Don't be weak._

"Shall I?" I ran him through with my sword and as he took his dying breath I whispered into my own ear. "That sort of thinking got us into this mess." I turned to the rest of them. _Don't look so shocked, I'd do the same to any of you. _"Gentlemen, we have lost speed and therefor time, precious time, which cannot be regained once lost. Do you understand?"

_The sea will never come if we are so unready. So useless _

There was a chorus of "Aye Captain," some a little slower than others.

"It will have to be redone, _all of it_!" I told them. _There will be no slacking aboard my vessel. _"And let this serve as a lesson to the lot of you."

"What got into him?" one of myselfs asked.

"Doldrums sir, has the whole crew on edge." _Including myself. _I addressed the entire miserable bunch. "I have absolutely no sympathy for any of you feculent maggots and no patience to pretend otherwise." I stepped away from them all and grabbed a rope. "Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness."

I swung down onto the sand that had been keeping my beautiful ship captive for so long. I licked my finger and held it out, testing the wind situation. "No wind," I concluded. _When has there ever been any wind here, Jack-y? _"Of course there's no bloody wind. On my soul I do swear, not a gust, a whisper, a tiny miniature lick."

_What's that? Something smells… it smells…_

I looked down to see that there was in fact something different lying in this desert of similarity. I picked it up. _A rock. How odd. _I threw it as far away as I possibly could and turned to walk back towards the _Pearl. _

_You're stuck. Stuck like you were stuck on that island where Barbossa left you to die._

"Yes, I know." _I remember it. Sort of. Sometimes._ "But why would he do that?"

_I never did figure it out._

"Because he's a lummox, isn't he?"

_Yes. But he'll regret it. Because now I have Will and Elizabeth and Isabelle and he doesn't. And when he begs for forgiveness and I can say- _

"And we'll have a magnificent garden party and you're not invited."

_Exactly, that'll show him. _

_And then we'll have the party right nearby. _

_All we'd need is a garden. _

_As soon as I get out of here. _

… _wait. What was that I just saw?_

I turned around slowly. The rock, which I had previously and rather brilliantly thrown away from me was sitting a few paces behind me. Staring at me. I tried to shoo it away, but it stayed there, stubbornly. _How rude. _I turned my back for a second to lull it into a false sense of security and then snapped back round, in the hope of catching it in the act of moving. _No such luck_. I picked it up again and we started at each other for a while.

_Can I eat it? _

I gave it a lick.

_No._

I threw it again and turned away. "Now we're being followed by rocks, never had that before." I looked up at a rope that was dangling from the _Pearl. _I pulled on it in case it could be of any use to me and yet more of it tumbled down.

_Am I supposed to pull the Pearl to the sea myself?_

_It's worth a shot, I suppose. _

I gave a tug and nothing happened. I pulled with all my might and the ship didn't move. I used all my weight and might, but I couldn't get it to budge an inch. I struggled for a while in the hot sun before I took a breather. Hanging on the rope to catch my breath.

_Am I being watched?_

I looked around. My rock was watching what I was doing. Actually watching me. With actual eyes for watching things.

_Rock's don't have eyes. _

_Or pincers._

_That's a crab. _

_And I just licked it. _

* * *

**Hello darlings! Thanks for reading, leave a review if you have a sec. **_  
_

* * *

**Review replies:**

PirateNinjaCJS: Don't worry yourself, she's back in the next one ;) Yeah I had a look at your Hunger Games story, it's aaawwweeeesome :D  


**lilylilyfairfax: Haha, sorry, I'm very bad for leaving things on cliffhangers. It amuses me. Glad you like my story and Isabelle to :)  
**

**GoTeamSkipper: It's potentially problematic seeing as they're both currently in similar situations, but no, Izzy wouldn't say hell unless she was pushed to it! I'm glad you liked it. I didn't think they did enough with the Locker.  
**

**Sookdeo: Haha, thank you! I'm so glad you liked it.  
**


	39. Small, pincered theives

_What the hell is that?_

I opened my eyes again and sat up, wondering momentarily why I was lying on the ground. Then I remembered that I'd licked a crab that had been stalking and the shock had caused me to blackout for a while. It was the first bit of sleep I'd had in this godforsaken place. _Good, I'm glad that's been explained. _The only thing that hadn't yet been explained was the shadow that had fallen across me. I turned to look for its source. The _Pearl _was gliding past me.

_That can't be right… when did it learn to do that all by itself?_

_Is this real?_

_Is this really happening?_

I stood up and watched it sailing smoothly along on a rolling wave of crabs.

_Well that's… odd. _

_That's more than odd… that's… bizarre._

I didn't know where it thought it was going, but it clearly had some kind of idea. Or rather, the crabs must have had some idea, since they were the ones that were carrying it off into the distance.

_Crabs live in the sea; maybe they're taking her home. _

_Oh great, it's finally getting out of here._

_Wait…_

_Wait a minute… _

_I SHOULD BE GETTING OUT OF HERE TOO. _

I dashed off after my ship as quickly as I could.

_WAIT. _

_WAIT FOR ME YOU SMALL, WHITE, PINCERED, SHIP STEALING LITTLE BUGGERS. _

_**WAIT. FOR. ME**__. _

I'm glad that crabs aren't particularly speedy little fellows, who are also unused to having to travel in a forwards direction, otherwise I might never have caught up with them. For a moment I was fearful that there would be a Giant White Crab, who was in charge of all the other crabs, trying to Captain my ship for me, but thankfully when I arrived on deck there was no such crab to be seen. I wasn't quite sure how I'd have fought off a crab like that. He could have snapped my sword in half with one pincer, leaving me almost defenceless.

_That would have been rude, Mr Crab… I would never cheat in such a way._

_How dare you._

_I'm glad you're not here. _

Now that I was safely back on board the _Pearl _there was one question that still remained. _Where the hell are we headed? _Seeing as there was nothing I could do to steer the situation in any particular way and there didn't seem to be anyone I could ask, as all myselfs had mysteriously disappeared, I climbed as high up in the mast as I could to see what was going on. Then I saw it. The sea. A tiny, miniature little speck of sea on the horizon, which we were heading towards at a growing speed.

_Good job, crabs. _

_Now let's just stand here and pretend that this was all just part of the plan. _

I felt an odd sense of triumph as we crashed over the top of a sand dune and cascaded elegantly down the other side. _All part of the plan. _My eyes scanned the shoreline and fell upon a small cluster of people who all seemed to be staring at me and my beautiful ship.

_Can't say I blame them. _

_I wonder if any of them will want to be in my crew._

The _Pearl _slipped smoothly into the waves and I climbed down to investigate further. I dropped anchor, making sure there was no way that the _Pearl _could move anywhere else again without my permission for it to do so. _You were useful this time, crabs… but you never know with you lot. You can never tell when a crab's changed its mind. I think it's because you all have very small and weird faces… no offence._

I lowered myself a longboat and rowed the short distance to the shore, where I was surprised to see that there was a group of people running towards me. I was even more surprised to find that I already knew them.

_That's my crew. _

_What are they doing here?_

_That's simple, Jack-y._

_Is it?_

_Yes, they're not doing anything here. _

_Why?_

_Because they're not really here. You're imagining things again. _

"JACK!" Gibbs said far too loudly for his own good, as I strode towards him. _I don't know why you're looking so pleased. You've got nothing to be looking pleased about. _ Gibbs's stupid face was smiling at me as if there was nothing at all wrong with this situation and as if he were, in fact, even a real person. "Master Gibbs!" I said sharply.

"Aye Capt'n," he said, his joy dissolving into confusion.

"I thought so," I stared at him. _At least this hallucination knows who he is and none of my imaginings are imagining that they are me again. That was awful. _"I expect you're able to account for your actions then?"

Imaginary Gibbs frowned at me. "Sir?"

"There's been a perpetual and virulent lack of discipline upon my vessel. Why? Why is that, sir?"

_They're imaginary, you're imaginary… sort them and then yourself out. That's your job as my First Mate. Why weren't you imagined to be doing it? You damned fool. _

"Sir… you're…" Imaginary Gibbs trailed off, glancing around him at the desolate beach surrounding us. "You're in Davy Jones' Locker, Cap'n."

_Fuck._

_I'm not…_

_Am I?_

_I am. _

I could see Imaginary Gibbs's stare had turned to a look of concern. I didn't much care for it. He shouldn't worry about me; he should be more worried about himself being fictional. That, surely, should be a far more pressing matter to him. I would hate to be a figment of someone else's imagination. "I know that. I know where I am!" I told him firmly. "And don't you think that I don't!"

_No use having a Captain who doesn't know where he is._

"Jack Sparrow," a voice said and I looked to see Imaginary Barbossa, looking as grumpy as ever. _Oh good. I don't know what you're looking so serious about. You're not in the Locker… not for real, anyway. _

"Hector!" I greeted him, smiling. He didn't return my smile. _Rude. _"It's been too long." _Has it? _"Hasn't it?"

"Isle de Meurta," he said. _What about it? _"You shot me, remember?"

_Did I? No.. surely not._

"No I didn't," I said. _Even in my imagination he's a crazy old fool._

_I wouldn't shoot my First Mate… would I? Why would I do that? _

_Wait…_

_Isn't Gibbs my Frist Mate? What…? What's happened?_

_Never mind. None of this matters because they're not real. _

_Oh... Hello you._

I saw Tia Dalma smiling at me. _Didn't expect you to be here. _"Tia Dalma!" I said happily. _She's looking well. _"Out and about, eh?" _How unusual. I thought you and that shack were one being._ Despite being out of her shack and not even real, she still retained her aura of mystery and misery._ It's impossible to even dream up a happy looking Tia. _"You add an agreeable sense of macabre to any delirium."

_Bit rude of you to soil my own fantasy with your solemn presence._

She looked slightly offended, but she wasn't real, so it didn't matter. "He thinks we're a hallucination." _Thank you for that obvious statement you obvious idiot. _An annoyingly familiar annoying voice had butted in annoyingly, with an equally annoying face to match. _Eunuch… why am I imaging you here of all people? This is the worst group of people anyone has ever dreamed up ever. I'm a little bit ashamed of my own madness for doing so. _I studied him, even as a hallucination he looked stupid and ridiculous and a little part of me wanted to smack him in the jaw.

"Let me ask you something, William," I said. "Have you come because you need my help in rescuing a distressing damsel? Or rather a damsel in distress, either one?"

_Best to be clear. If one of the hallucinations was to slip up and admit that he wasn't real, it would be Will. Stupid whelp. _

"No," he replied.

_Aha._

"Then you wouldn't be here, would you? QED, you're not really here!" I tried to wave him away, but Will's stupid face didn't vanish from before me in quite the way that I had hoped. _Even in a hallucinogenic form he's still pissing me off. _

_Glad I seem to have won this argument, now-_

"Jack," a quiet voice cut through my soul and stopped me in my tracks.

_No. Not her. Anyone but her._

I turned.

_Isabelle… _

_Not her. _

_Not her._

_I can't bear that she's only a dream._

My eyes met hers and everything around us seemed to stop for a moment. It felt like I was suspended somewhere in time, with nothing around me and she was all I could see. All I wanted to see. It had been so long since I had seen her… I was almost paralysed by my need for her. My need for her to be real. _Why her? Why torture me with her? _She didn't make a sound, but I could hear her screaming, crying… I could remember it. Vividly. But why? Why?

_Because I was dying. Because I'm now dead. _

_I'm dead._

_This truly is the Locker._

I came crashing down to earth again and everything else came crashing down with me.

"Jack," another voice drew my reluctant eyes away from hers.

_Now there's a wench who deserves to be in the Locker._

_She killed me. She killed me. It was her._

I ran back to Possibly Not Imaginary Gibbs, fearing for my already taken life. _Can you take the same life twice? _

"The Locker, you say?" I questioned him, to be sure.

"Aye," he replied. My head began to hurt. _Maybe this is all real… _

_Is it?_

"We've come to rescue you!" the terrible, Terrible Strumpet said loudly.

_It would be just like Real Elizabeth to be that obnoxiously loud about everything she was doing if she thought it made her look like a good person. Which she is not. _

"Have you now?" I turned back to face her and her stupid face. "Well, that's very kind of you, but it would seem that as _I_ possess a ship and you don't, _you're_ the ones in need of rescuing. And I'm not sure as I'm in the mood…"

_I'll never be in the mood to rescue the bitch that put me here._

_You can rot here. In Hell. _

"I see my ship," Barbossa butted in. _You were right, I did shoot you. I'm glad of it. Wish I could do it again. _He pointed in the direction of my lovely _Pearl. _"Over there."

I squinted into the horizon. "Can't spot it," I told him. "Must be a tiny little thing hiding somewhere behind the _Pearl_."

_If you think you're taking my ship away from me again… you've got another think coming. And that think is going to tell you that your first think was a wrong think._

"Jack," _OH PIPE DOWN EUNUCH!_ He appeared by my side without me wanting or asking him to be there. "Cutler Beckett has the heart of Davy Jones! He controls the _Flying Dutchman_!"

"He's taking over the seas," the Terrible Strumpet butted in, almost knocking her Eunuch over in her desperation to have her whiney little voice heard.

"The song has already been sung," Tia's voice was in sharp contrast to Elizabeth's moany one. "The Brethren Court is called."

_How unfortunate for you all. _

_I fail to see why I should care._

"I leave you people alone for just a minute and the whole world's gone to pot!" I decided to walk away from them. They were clearly all too deranged for my liking.

_I can't be dealing with mad people. I don't have the time for them. _

"Aye, Jack, the world needs you back something fierce," Probably Real Gibbs said.

_Well it should have thought of that before it turned on me._

_Fuck the world._

"And you need a crew!" _And fuck you too, Eunuch._

_He's right, though. Damn him. _

I turned to look at them all, wishing they'd go away. Now they were here I felt very odd about seeing them. _There's not one of them that can be trusted. You know that. Push them away. _"Why should I sail with any of you?" I asked them simply. "Four of you have tried to kill me in the past…one of you succeeded."

I pointed to Elizabeth and watched in delight as the expression on her face collapsed into that of one of sheer guilt. _You should feel bad. It's your fault that we're all standing here. _I took further pleasure in seeing the shock in every one of their faces as they turned to look at her. _Revenge is sweet. _"Oh," I feigned surprise. "She hasn't told you? Well, you'll have lots to talk about while you're here then."

There was a long silence that was uncomfortable for everyone but me. I watched as Elizabeth's fearful gaze met Isabelle's.

_Oh._

_This'll be good. _

A small tremor ran through Isabelle's body and the tension between them was almost visible. And then I saw Isabelle explode. "HOW COULD YOU?!" she screamed. Elizabeth cowered and took a step back. I didn't blame her, Belle can be terrifying. "HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?! YOU KILLED HIM?!" Izzy balled her shaking hands up in to a fist. "YOU LET ME BLAME EVERYONE ELSE, YOU LET ME BLAME MYSELF?" Her whole body began to shake and suddenly all the emotions I had unleashed were a lot less enjoyable. _You blamed yourself? It would never have been your fault, darlin'. Never. _Once I had looked away from the brilliance of seeing Elizabeth paying for her sins and saw what it was doing to Isabelle, I wanted it to stop. It was when I saw the tears falling from her eyes that I started to move towards her. "AND IT WAS _YOU _ALL ALONG?! ALL THIS TIME YOU'VE BEEN LYING! YOU **BITCH**!"

_Oh my God._

_She just punched her_.

_She actually punched her. _

_In. The. Face. _

It was, without a doubt, the best thing I have ever seen. But I didn't want to see it again. Elizabeth deserved it, but Izzy? She didn't deserve to be shedding all these tears for me. I caught her arm before she could get another punch in and wrapped my arm around her waist. I pulled her backwards, away from Elizabeth and towards me, where she was safe. I don't think she realised it was me until I spoke. "Alright, love," I could feel her shaking in my arms. "It's alright, darlin', you're coming with me."

_I'd never leave you anywhere._

She turned to look up at me and I saw the tears stop and the anger in her eyes subside. I smiled at her. I couldn't help it. Her reaction had shown me, once again, her loyalty to me. _She really does care about me. Doesn't she? _I kept an arm around her, wanting to both comfort her and shield her from that kind of emotion again. I knew what it was to be betrayed and someone as fiercely loyal as Belle shouldn't ever have to face that.

_I need to get her out of here. _

"As for you-" I strode up to Tia Dalma, with a good mind not to let her on this ship. She was, after all, another person who had tried to kill me. She may not have succeeded, but the thought was still there. I didn't want any potential murderers aboard my vessel.

"Now…" she gave me a saucy smile. "Don't tell me you didn't enjoy it… at the time."

_Well…_

_Well…_

_I do find it a little bit sexy when women are angry with me. Perhaps not to the point of murder… but… Well… alright._

_I knew sleeping with her would come back to haunt me._

…_I mean more so than attempted murder._

"Fair enough, alright then, you're in," I told her. _But that's the last time you can play that card. It was a long, long time ago. _I moved on to the One Eyed pirate beside her. _Ew, no thank you. _"Don't need you, you scare me. Gibbs you can come." _Of course._ "Marty," I nodded. One Eyed's counterpart looked hopeful. _No. No. No. I actually thought you and One Eye had merged to form one person. Apparently not. You can work on that while you're here. Moving on… _"Cotton… Cotton's parrot I'm a little iffy, but… at least I'll have someone to talk to."

_He has a bigger brain than the rest of my crew put together. _

I moved on and came face to face with a whole crowd of people I'd never met before.

_Oh. _

_How unusual. _

"Who are you?" I asked them.

"Tai Huang," one of them replied. _Nice to meet you. _"These are my men."

_Interesting…_

"Where do your allegiances lie?" I tested them.

"With the highest bidder," he replied. _Good answer, me too. _

"I have a ship," I offered. _Top that. _

"That makes you the highest bidder," Tia Huang returned my smile. _Great, I won!_

"Good man," I congratulated him before turning to those lucky enough to be coming home with me. "Weigh anchor, all hands. Prepare to make sail." I had never been so happy to say those words in all my life. I let go of Isabelle in order to pull out my Compass and find our heading. The needle spun continuously and my heart sank. _It doesn't work in a place like this. _

_Bugger._

"Ja-aack," Barbossa's smug tones floated over to me. _Creepy. _I turned my head to look at him. He was holding the Charts. "Which way ye going, Jack?" he asked me. _Bugger. _I nodded once and he and the rest of the cretins I had hoped to leave behind turned away from me to board the _Pearl _with the crew members I actually liked. I turned back around to look at Isabelle.

Our eyes met again and for a long time neither of us said a word.

_You've been longing to see her for ages and now she's here you don't have anything to say?_

_I don't know where to start. _

_I can't believe she's here. _

Seeing her, standing there in front of me, looking at me with those eyes that I had tried so hard to forget rendered me speechless. I didn't know what to say, or how to say it. I had missed her so much and here she was. Here was that girl I'd needed to see, to talk to. That girl I'd wanted to hold. Those lips I'd wanted to kiss.

_Say something. _

_Do something. _

_Anything._

I took a step towards her and suddenly she started to cry. I took another step towards her. "That bad to have me back, eh?" I joked, feeling slightly overwhelmed with my own emotions as well as hers. I wanted her to smile. I never wanted her to be sad again. My throat felt a little tighter than usual. She shook her head.

"No," she sobbed and tried to smile through her tears. We were inches apart. She looked up at me, into my eyes and her beautiful little face crumbled with sadness. "I'm sorry…" she stammered.

_You have nothing to be sorry for. _

_Unless there's something else I've forgotten…_

"What for?" I asked, wanting nothing more than to hold her. I didn't know how she'd react, so I stopped myself.

She took a deep breath. "Before you..." she could hardly say it. "…died…" She looked as if her heart was braking all over again. "…. I said some… things I-I didn't mean and…" _Her brother. She's talking about that last argument we had. When she hated me. _"I know you didn't…" she trailed off.

_I did. I did. It was my fault, love._

I reached out and placed a finger on her lips. She stopped talking immediately. Her tears were still falling, but they seemed to have slowed down a little. I wiped them away with my other hand, wishing that I could wipe away all the ridiculous guilt she seemed to be determined to feel. I've never been a fan of guilt. Guilt and I have never gotten on and I didn't like to see it taking advantage of my beautiful Belle. He eyes closed as I touched her cheek and a gentle breeze moved stray strands of hair from her face.

_She really is… absolutely… beautiful. _

_And she came all this way… through all that danger for me._

_Me._

_Love, you have nothing to feel guilty about. You're the best thing that's ever happened._

I smudged one of the tear tracks on her cheek and rubbed my thumb across the smooth, soft skin. Any doubts I had that any of these people were a figment of my maddened imagination left me instantly. Of course she was really here, of course she was. Nobody else would be this determined to save me. I could never imagine an Isabelle as good as the real one. I removed my finger from her lips and found a more comfortable place to rest that hand. I placed it on the small of her back and, as my other hand slid from her cheek to the back of her neck, I pulled her towards me. Although my finger was no longer there, my gaze was still fixed on her lips. I'd not forgotten them; the shape, the size, the colour… the way they looked when she smiled. The only thing I didn't know about them was the way they tasted.

_Oh God._

My stomach twisted in on itself, it was a feeling I didn't much care for, but I didn't know how to stop it. I looked up from her lips and her eyes opened. Her arms wrapped around me and she pulled me close. I felt her chin resting on my shoulder. Her familiar scent almost brought tears to my eyes, but I closed them. With the barrier of my eyelids to protect me I surrendered myself to the moment, enjoying the feeling of holding her in my arms again. Her warm body was pressed against mine and I hugged her so tightly that I could feel her breathe.

_I love this girl._

That one thought filled my mind. I couldn't deny it anymore. I had denied it for too long and I was growing weary. I was head over heels in love with the girl in my arms and there was nothing I could do to stop it. God knows I'd tried. And that thought terrified me more than anything, but right now I was powerless to stop the fear I was feeling. Now, when it was just the two of us, wrapped up in each other on the shore at the end of the world. Her smell filled my senses, her soft hair was in my face and her embrace was so fierce and protective that it held the rest of the world far away from us both. I wasn't in any rush to get back to the _Pearl _anymore. I didn't much care who was or wasn't with us or how long it took us to get back.

I was already home.

* * *

**Hello! Thanks for reading, please review :)**

**Chapter 38 Review Replies:  
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**PirateNinjaCJS: Thank you! I HOPE YOU LIKED SEEING IZZY AGAIN. I know you've been keen for it. GET THE NEXT START DANCING CHAPTER UP ASAP. Kthanxbye.**

**GoTeamSkipper: Thanks! I always felt sorry for Jack, I would HATE to meet myself. I wouldn't object to Multiple Jacks, however ;) **

**Sookdeo: Haha, yeah, perhaps in some parallel universe there's a whole world inhabited by Multiple Jacks, it is rather amusing. **

**lillylillyfairfax: Haha, thank you! I'm glad you think so, publishing it was a bit of a risk. HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE REUNION.**


	40. Long Arrrr's and Homesickness

_This is so good I can hardly believe it. _

_Genuinely the best day that anyone's ever had. _

I took my beautiful Isabelle by the hand and we started on the walk back to my beautiful ship. I had to keep looking at her, to check she was real and really here. I wouldn't put it past Jones and his Locker to fool me with a Fake Isabelle. I frowned. _What if she's not real? What would I do then? _

I looked at her and she smiled at me.

_I don't care. I don't even care. She's here._

She gave my hand a squeeze, a real, solid squeeze. _This is definitely her. It has to be. _I took a good look at her. She was smiling in that way that only she could, the way that made me feel lighter and happier just by seeing it. But I couldn't help but notice that she looked tired, pale and I could detect some underlying stress in her features. _That's not right. I wonder what's wrong? _"How have you been, love?" I asked her. She sighed.

"Well… I've been better," she joked and then her expression became more serious. "I missed you, Jack."

"I missed you too darlin'," I said honestly. _You have no idea how much. _I glanced around the empty white sands of the Locker and remembered how they had driven me mad. "How long has it been?" I asked her.

"A few months," she said. "Took us a while to get here."

"I can imagine," I sighed. No wonder she looked so tired. _You can rest safely now, love. I'll make sure of it. _"Thank you." I said it quietly, but her nod and her small smile told me that she'd heard me. I gave her a one-armed hug as we walked along. I couldn't find the words to tell her everything I wanted to, so a hug would have to do. As much as I like words, some situations don't have any that go along with them.

"I can't believe Elizabeth…" she frowned at the sand in front of us, looking both hurt and angry. "I can't believe it."

"I can't believe you punched her," I said, not even fighting to hide my smile. She didn't either, her face brightened again.

"Yeah… I did, didn't I?" she grinned.

"It was _brilliant_," I said enthusiastically. "_You're _brilliant, Belle."

She blushed a little and her smile changed to one of slight embarrassment. I don't think I'd ever _told _her that before. I'd thought it enough times. "Well…" she said. "You're in a good mood."

"Course I am," I said brightly. "I'm getting out of here, aren't I?"

* * *

Her arm squeezed more tightly around my waist.

"Wave goodbye to the Locker Jack," Isabelle stood at my side, as she had done since we'd set sail. I squinted at the rapidly disappearing shoreline.

"Good riddance," I said, not even bothering to wave at the land that had kept me imprisoned for too long. I smiled at the sound of the sea and feel of the ocean beneath me. There were so many things I'd missed. So many things I was glad to see and have surrounding me. I felt all the pent-up stress I hadn't realised that I'd been feeling leave me with each breath.

"Who's at the helm Captaining?" Isabelle turned to me.

"Me, of course," I told her. _I'm the Captain. Stupid question. _

Isabelle frowned slightly. "But you're here," she pointed out. _Yes… and? _"Not at the helm."

"Oh." I looked at myself. It was true, I wasn't at the helm. _She's got a fair point. _"So I am." _So who is at the helm? _I turned.

_Oh._

_That is not alright. _

_That's hideous, which everyone knows is the opposite of alright. _

Barbossa was standing at the helm, looking around with a smug, ugly look on his smug, ugly face. He sullied my beautiful ship and his very presence made her look a bit less beautiful. I would say that he was a fly in the ointment, but since I don't hold much of a grudge against flies and I've never really had a use for ointment, he was worse than that. It was more like having a big, full tankard of rum and finding something dead and mouldy and decaying congealed at the bottom of it. You have to fish it out before you can keep drinking it, which is annoying to say the least.

I put on my scariest face in an attempt to scare him into not thinking he was a Captain anymore. He saw me coming and moved away from the wheel. _Oh good it worked. _

_That was easier than I thought it would be. _

_Wow, I'm really good at being scary. _

_Shouldn't be so surprising I'm good at mo-_

_Oh. Wait. _

…_what's he doing?_

By now we'd almost switched places. I was on my way up to the helm and Barbossa was on deck. He was smiling, but he smile wasn't a smile of fear. I don't think I've ever seen a smile of fear. He looked smug. I _hate _smug Barbossa. I started to run down to the deck to catch up with him before he could carry out whatever terrible deed was making him look so smug. _What's he planning?_

"Trim that sail!" he shouted to the crew.

_Oh God. _

_He's… he's… giving __**orders. **_

_**That is not his job.**_

"Trim that sail!" I bellowed out just after him, so that the crew didn't think I was falling behind or _not _their Captain. I was. I was their Captain.

"Slack windward brace and sheet!" Barbossa was striding around as if he owned the place. He didn't.

I repeated him, but more loudly. _What's the next one? I need to say it before him._

"Haul the-"

"Haul the pennant line!" I tried to shout it as quickly as possible so that it would look like we had said it at the same time, even though technically we hadn't.

_Ha._

I caught up with him. "What are you doing?" he asked me, looking tired and ugly.

_Good question, shame you're asking the wrong person. _

"What are you doing?" I turned it on him, where it should be.

"No. What arre you doin'?" he repeated with a slightly longer "arre" and a more open and hideous mouth.

"What are you doing?" I tried not to flinch at his awful breath.

"No what arrrree you doin'?" he asked me in an even stupider way than he had the first time.

_I will not be intimidated by you're long "arrrre"s. They do not make you more pirate-y than me. _

_There is no "arrrre" in Captain._

"What are _you _doing?" I put emphasis on the correct part of the sentence. Unlike him. "Captain gives orders on the ship," I reminded him before he could throw an "arrre" in that was so long that we had to listen to it all day. Or until we were all dead.

"Captain of the ship _is _givin' orders," he snarled, disappointed that he wasn't getting to "arrre" in my face again.

_You are so incorrect that it actually offends me. _

"My ship!" I reminded him. "Makes me Captain."

He waved his stupid Charts at me. "They be my Charts."

"That makes you…" _Captain Charts? No. No can't be having anything with the title 'Captain' in it. He's just a man… man… _"Chartman," I finished aloud.

_Good one. If I say so myself._

"Stow it!" I jumped and turned to see an angry and disgusting looking, bald Pintel shouting at us both. "The both of you! That's an order! Under stand?"

_Well that was incredibly rude and out of line. _

_Who do you think you are? _

_There is no, nor will there ever be a 'Captain Pintel'… what a ridiculous name. Sounds like the kind of rum you get that's not actually 100% rum, but is mixed with 50% rat vomit to make it go further. _

_You, Pintel, are a rat. _

He smiled in the guilty way that a rat would if you caught it doing something wrong. "Sorry…" he looked suitably nervous. "I just thought with the Captain issue in doubt, I'd throw in my name for consideration."

_We already know that's ridiculous._

He stepped back and I tried to reach the wheel before Barbossa. We got up the stairs at the same and stood in silence. _I wish I could just push him overboard. Sadly, he can swim… _I pretended that having him standing there didn't annoy me or make me want to be sick in my own mouth for as long as I could. But then he pulled out a telescope and pretended he knew what he was doing. _Look at you, just trying to look like a Captain because you don't have the skills to actually be a Captain…_

_You sicken me._

_It's so pathetic it's almost laughable. _

_I'll show you what a real telescope is. _

I pulled mine out and flaunted it in front of his face. I pulled it open and raised it. _Wait… it's smaller. How did that happen? Is it jammed? _I pulled on it and pulled on it, but the thing wouldn't budge. It just wouldn't get any longer. I saw Barbossa looking at me, smugly. I hate it when he's smug.

_Well… this is embarrassing. _

I had to leave the situation as quickly as possible. Isabelle was where I left her. _If there's anyone who can help me out of a tricky spot, it's her. _I was still pulling on my telescope in the hope that it would miraculously grow a few feet. It didn't. "It's not big enough!" I told her, jolting her out of whatever thought she had been lost in. She turned to look at me.

"What?" her eyebrows were raised slightly.

"It's not big enough," I said again. Now she just looked a bit concerned. _Good, you should be. This is a serious matter._

"_What's_ not big enough?" she asked.

_I do hope you're not thinking about my trouser-department, because I can assure you that is plenty big enough. _

_I'm not Will. _

"My telescope," I scowled at it. "It's not big enough! Even Barbossa has a bigger one than me!"

She smiled and did her best not to laugh at me. "You are such a child!" she grinned. _Am not. _"I think there's a huge one in the galley, do you want me to go and get it?"

_Oh, you are brilliant._

"Yes!"

She was already on her way. "Right, wait here." she called to me. I grinned at her in a way that was designed to remind her of just how brilliant she was.

I looked around at my ship and my crew and felt instantly better. Belle has that effect on people. She knows what to do and how to fix things. She knows how to fix me. _Not that I was ever broken. I'm perfect, always have been, always will be. _

_Well… not __**always**__, Jacky. _

_But nobody is, eh?_

"Er… Captain?" Gibbs had sidled up to me in that way that he does when I both least expected it and least wanted to see his stupid, hairy face. "What are we going to do about…?"

He nodded in the general direction of Barbossa. I wasn't so worried about him anymore, not now that my new telescope was on its way. I shrugged, "Does it matter, Master Gibbs?" I said.

"Well…" Gibbs began in that way he begins everything he thinks will either annoy, offend or disagree with me. Many times he manages to combine all three. In fact… _most _of the time he manages to merge them all together. It's infuriating. I decided to cut him off while I had the chance.

"He'll be dead soon, anyway," I said bluntly.

Gibbs's eyes widened. "What…?"

"Well he's old…" I shrugged. "It's only natural."

_Knowing my luck Barbossa'll find a way to be immortal before I do. Slimy git._

Gibbs frowned. _How old is Gibbs…? Oh. Is he older than Barbossa? That's awkward. _"Be that as it may, Capt'n…" he said in his annoyingly delicate way. "Be that as it may… I don't think that waiting for Barbossa to die is the best way to deal with it."

_You're probably right. _

"It doesn't matter," I said. "Because _I _am the Captain and everyone knows it. I'll find a way to deal with Barbossa. Even if I have to kill him myself."

Gibbs's face became more solemn and he nodded, "Aye, aye Capt'n. There's the Jack Sparrow I remember."

He walked away looking much more relieved about the situation. I had to admit that the Barbossa issue was a little worrying, but Gibbs was thinking about it far too soon. I couldn't kill him here and now, seeing as we were already in the Land of the Dead. It would also be an issue for Tia Dalma and the Brethren Court, who would have to undo all my good work of killing him by bringing him back yet again for their own benefit. Selfish of them, really.

No, it would have to wait.

I saw the top of Belle's head emerging from the galley and I sprang forward to meet her. A huge telescope was glinting in her hands. _Perfect. Both of you are perfect. _As she stood on the deck I reached out to take it from her. She didn't let go of it at first. She clung to it as if it was one of the most important things she'd ever held. "Alright, darlin' you can let go now," I laughed as I had to physically prise it from her hands. I felt the weight of it and wondered why she hadn't been much keener to get rid of it. It was a heavy little bugger. I realised that Belle hadn't responded to me. She hadn't laughed; she hadn't said a word and her hands were still in exactly the same position. I stopped laughing and took in the expression on her face.

_Oh God._

_What's happened?_

She was staring straight ahead of her, but seeing nothing, taking in nothing. Her eyes were completely unfocussed, fixed on something distant and far removed from everything in front of her. I don't think she knew what _was_ in front of her. Whatever far-off thing she was focussed on was something that brought her pain. She seemed, almost, to be in a state of shock.

"Belle?" I said gently and her eyes moved to look up at me. _What's wrong? _They focussed a little bit more and she seemed to see me, but her eyes widened with horror and she backed away from me. She looked away, looking as if she was about to cry. I reached out towards her and she turned away from me. _Have I done something?_ I caught up with her and put my arms around her. "Belle, Belle… Isabelle, what is it?" She didn't respond apart from to shake her head. I couldn't tell whether she was close to crying or if she was about to turn around and hit something. She just looked so lost and unsure of how to deal with it. Whatever 'it' was. "Love… darling… talk to me. Please, love. Belle. I want to help you. What happened? Tell me what's wrong." I steered her towards my Cabin, away from where the crew were staring at her, away from prying eyes and hopefully away from whatever it was that had got her into this state.

I glanced back at the galley. _What the hell happened down there?_

I propelled her into my Cabin and shut the door behind us. She was breathing heavily in the silence. I turned her around to face me and looked her in the eye. "What's wrong, love?"

Her mouth opened and I waited patiently for her to tell me. She said nothing for a while, her eyes searching wildly for something. Possibly the words to voice what she was thinking, whatever that was. She was beginning to frighten me. Something was terribly wrong and I felt the need to know exactly what it was. I needed to fix her. She frowned at me, fixing me with those sad eyes, "You…"

She stopped. _Me?! Me what about me?_

"Capt'n," the door opened and Gibbs popped in. _What the bloody hell is wrong with you man?! Why are you always here when I don't want you here?_ "Barbossa says-" Gibbs stopped when saw my hands on an upset Isabelle's shoulders. "Oh. Sorry," he said, looking awkward. "Jack, you're needed."

_Bugger. _

_This is not the time for this. _

I looked at Gibbs in annoyance and then back to Belle. Her lips were now pursed tightly shut. She looked away from me. She wasn't going to be talking any time soon. "I'll be back, Belle," I told her quietly. "Wait here."

I didn't want to leave her, but I didn't really have a choice. If I stayed I risked Gibbs realising just how much I cared about Isabelle. And I wasn't ready for the world to know that yet. No, the best thing to do would be to go with him and deal with whatever Barbossa was up to as quickly as possible. It might also give Isabelle a chance to cool down from whatever it was that had happened. She'd need time to find the words to tell me about it. But I _would _make her tell me. And I _would _fix her.

Gibbs was staring at us both in a wide-eyed way. _Rude. _I ushered him out of the room and shut the door behind us. I glowered at him. "This had better be important," I told him seriously. Gibbs looked immediately worried. I sighed and stomped my way back up to the helm where Chartman was standing with his charts unfolded.

_Typical Chartman behaviour. _

His confused frown turned in to one of anger when he saw me approaching. "What arrrre you doing here?" he growled.

_Not those long 'arrrre's again. _

I glanced back to Gibbs who was looking sheepish and as if he thoroughly regretted having barged his way in to my Cabin. _Good. You should be. You should never barge anywhere you ridiculously annoying man. _Gibbs looked awkwardly apologetic towards both Barbossa and I. "I… er… thought Jack might be able to help with the whole… chart situation."

_I really don't care about that right now. _

"If I'd have wanted his help I would have asked for it," Barbossa said gruffly.

_Agreed. _

_But it's annoying you and I like that, so now that I'm here…_

"Let's have a look," I said, leaning over to try and move the pieces of the Chart again. He pulled it further away from my fingertips.

"What arrrre you doing?" he snapped.

_ENOUGH._

"Looking for a way out of here," I replied. He stared at me. "By moving the Charts." He continued to stare at me. "Why are you so against that?"

"We already have a way out," he shrugged and rolled up the Charts to hide them from me. "Over the edge, over again."

"Wasn't that how you got here?" I said.

He nodded, "Aye, but we only went over one edge. Now we need to do it again." He held the Charts as far away from me as possible. _You are so, so stupid. _"So we'll just wait." He looked out to sea as if the conversation was finished and he was right.

_No._

_You are so stupid._

"I doubt it'll be that simple, mate," I said as nicely as I possibly could, given that I was talking to the man I most hated in this whole world. "We should be-"

"Just leave the Charts to me," he said. "They are _mine, _after all."

I started at him, stewing in my own hatred for him. I thought, briefly, about wrestling the Charts from him, but then I remembered Isabelle. "Fine," I said shortly. Both Barbossa and Gibbs looked surprised by my apparent submission. I turned away from them. _This can wait. I'll be back. _I made my way back to my Cabin as quickly as possible, annoyed that I'd been pulled away in the first place. _I hope she's calmed down now. I hope she's alright._

I opened the door.

_Oh. _

_Perhaps not then. _

I quickly scanned the mess that my Cabin had become in the short time I had been away. It was absolute carnage. Furniture had been upturned and everything that had been on my desk was strewn all over the floor. I took a step forward and my foot crunched on shards of glass from broken rum bottles. I didn't care about any of that. I cared about Belle. She was standing in the middle of the room, holding the one unscathed bottle in her hand. She looked ready to throw it, but when she saw me she froze. Her eyes were blazing with pain and fury. Tears were streaming down her face and her free hand was trembling. I couldn't tell whether it was caused by upset or anger. Either way, all I wanted to do was make her alright.

The door shut us both away from the rest of the world. "Belle," I said, gently. "Why are you crying?" She said nothing, but the anger in her face dissolved into sadness when she looked at me. It made my own heart ache. I looked to where the empty bottle was shaking in her hand and saw blood. I don't think that she even knew it was there. "You're bleeding," I told her. She still said nothing as I moved towards her. Something was seriously, seriously wrong and I didn't know how to make it any better. I didn't know how to make _her _any better. I pulled the bottle from her bleeding hand and took a look at the cut. _My poor darling. _She pulled her hand roughly from mine and stepped back. She looked away from me. _What's going on? _I moved closer to her and tried to turn her face towards mine, as if seeing the pain in her eyes would somehow explain it. Or at least let me share in it and take some of it away, even if I didn't understand what it was. She flinched and took another step away from me. _Was it something I did? _"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said, much more calmly than I had expected. "Nothing's wrong."

_I find that hard to believe. _

I looked around at the debris of her anger and raised an eyebrow. She set about trying to clean it up, throwing out the mess and the glass and trying to rearrange everything. The one thing she didn't do was look at me again. "Belle…" I tried again. All I wanted to do was grab her and hold her until whatever it was went away. I just wanted to help. _Why won't she talk to me? What can't she tell me? _"What's wrong? You can tell me, love..."

She straightened up as she threw away some more glass. "I'm just homesick," she said quietly and I felt as if all the breath had been knocked from my lungs.

_What…?_

_WHAT?_

_Did she… did she…?_

"What?" I managed to ask.

"I'm homesick," she said again, sounding colder than I had ever heard her sound before. "I really want to go home."

_But…_

_But this is your home. _

"To Port Royale?" I could hardly say the words. I hated those words. I hated that place. _How could she want to go back there?_

"Yes." She nodded. "I miss it."

"But," I stared at her. _Are we really having this conversation?_ _Don't leave don't leave me. _"You… you can't, love. You're a pirate. They won't let you go back, you'll be hung."

_Now you can't go back. You physically can't._

She looked angered and annoyed by my words.

"And whose fault is that?" she said coldly. _No. No don't say that. I love that you're a pirate. I love you. Don't blame me for that. _"James has given Beckett the heart and I assume he got what he wants in return. He'll be able to clear my name and I can go home."

_Bugger. _

_Bloody Commodore Goon. _

She sounded so confident of what she had just said. "You want to go home?" I asked, just to check. _She can't be serious. _

"Yes."

_No… no. Please._

"Why?"

She sighed. "I don't belong here, Jack," she walked past me, not looking me in the eye. _You do belong here, love. You do. _"I need to go home when all this is over." I caught her arm and turned her round to face me.

_How can you say that?! How?_

"But what if he can't clear your name?" I asked her. I sounded angrier than I meant to, but I didn't care. I needed to make her see sense. "Beckett won't hesitate on sending you to the gallows if you're pirate, love. No matter who your brother is! Then what'll you do?!"

"Then I shall gladly go," she said, fiercely. "Being dead would be better than living like this, in the company of pirates. I am so sick of pirates." She pulled her arm free of where I held it and turned away from me. I felt the magnitude of what she had just said hit me so hard that it almost knocked me back.

_Sick of pirates…_

_Sick of me. _

The door shut and I launched the bottle that was in my hand at it. The smash it made barely registered with me. I sank down into my chair and buried my head in my arms.

_Belle…_

_Belle…_

I was losing her. I had only just got her back and I was losing her again. _She's right though, Jack-y… she's not supposed to be a pirate. She's not supposed to be a part of this life you lead._

_Could I be a part of her life? In Port Royale. _

_You won't last long with that brand on your arm. _

_Bugger. Bugger. Bugger. Bugger. _

_Let her go._

_I'd rather be dead._

_You will be if you go to Port Royale a marked man… best to stay here and let her go._

I never wanted her to go back to Port Royale and back to her brother, but I had always known that she would. My time with her had never been a promised or permanent thing. I had known that from the start. Since the day that I had fished her out of the bloody sea when she'd fallen from that bloody Fort I had known it. That first time we'd met for a brief few seconds, parting with her had meant nothing- she was just a silly little Drowned Girl. The second time she had surprised me. I had known she'd be returning to Port Royale once we'd saved bloody Elizabeth from bloody Barbossa and parting with her after the Isla De La Meurta had been surprisingly hard. She was no longer just 'Drowned Girl'; she was Isabelle, my friend. The third time I had seen her she was never supposed to stay long, that was never part of the deal. The deal was the opposite, in fact. It was that I helped her and Will to give Beckett what he wanted and return everyone back to their normal, boring lives as quickly as possible. But by then she had arrived at a point where I had needed her most. She had protected me, fought for me… _cared _about me and along the way she had become more than just Isabelle. She'd become _my _Isabelle. My Belle. Mine. My best friend. The only person I'd willingly lay down my life for. The only girl I'd ever actually _loved. _And now, now that I was completely head over heels in love with her, the small issue of her having a home to go to and another life that was completely separate from me had conveniently slipped my mind. She'd never indicated that she'd wanted to stay her forever… but I'd thought…I _hoped _that maybe she would want to stay. With me. Maybe she'd need me as much as I needed her.

_Obviously not._

But I did need her. I needed her more than anything else. More, even, than the _Pearl. _Barbossa could have the _Pearl _if I got to keep my Belle.

_How? How can I let her go? How can I watch her slip away… again? _

* * *

**Thanks for reading. Review if you can :) Love you all.**

**LVxx**

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**Review Replies for Chapter39:  
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	41. The Immortal Captain Jack Sparrow

_I don't care about her any more. It's decided. Done. Finished. Over with._

_Good. _

My Cabin seemed too empty now, as I set about clearing the rest of it up. Too quiet. I wished that it would have the common decency to have some life about it, so that we weren't just wallowing in the sadness and the anger that Belle had left behind her. I was so confused about so many things. I hate being confused. Being confused is only fun when you're drunk, because then you don't care that you're confused… you're just happy not to have been sick, or been sicked-on. Firstly, I was still so confused as to _why _anyone would want to go back to that little, disgusting shit-hole that they call Port Royal. And Isabelle of all people… I thought she'd been happy here. Or was it just that _I _had been so happy to have her here that I hadn't noticed that she was, in fact, completely miserable?

_Why didn't I pick up on that? I have a tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature. It never once told me that Isabelle was troubled. How can that be?_

Secondly, I was confused as to what the conversation that we had just had all meant. Did it count as a fight? _I don't know. _Was she angry with _me _or just the situation she was in? _I don't know. _Were Belle and I now longer on speaking terms? _I don't know that, either. _Had I done something? _No._ Was she angry with me? _It didn't sound like it._ Was she sad? _Yes, definitely._ Was I angry with _her_…?

_Yes. _

_Yes, I'm angry at her for wanting to leave. _

_I'm angry and I don't want to speak to her again. I don't want to see her. _

_I'm angry that it hurts._

I sat down and stared at empty nothingness in front of me and felt strangely empty myself. It was not a feeling I liked. I felt as if I was lacking something, as if my life was missing something very important. I had felt like this before. When I'd lost the _Pearl. _But that had been much easier to deal with. _The Pearl _was a physical thing, something that had been taken from me that I could hunt down and win back. It had given my life direction, meaning and a goal. Belle wasn't like that. She wasn't an object to be owned or possessed and she shouldn't be. Isabelle was most beautiful when she was free. Like a bird that should never be caged or domesticated.

_She'd make a wonderful sparrow…_

_No. No. Don't do that to yourself, Jack-y. _

_Alright… a parrot then? A gull? A hawk? What else would she be?_

_Doesn't really matter what kind of bird she is, mate. She'll be caged in Port Royal, that you can be sure of…_

That's when I realised that I couldn't _keep _Isabelle with me. I couldn't force her to be here. I couldn't have her with me just to please myself. That would make me as bad as her brother, or that ginger buffoon she insists on associating herself with. The one that looks at her as if she's an investment to be bought, or a prize to get bidding on rather than seeing her for what she is- human. With life and laughter and love. And free will. It would be by her own free will that she would have to decide to stay here. I couldn't have her any other way. And clearly her own free will had decided that here was not the place for her. I still didn't understand why, but I understood that while I thought of her as _my _Isabelle; it was not because I owned her or in fact had any claim over her. It was more like I was Isabelle's Jack, if I thought about it properly. I was hers. I called her mine because she was so dear to me, so close to me, that I felt as protective of her as I would if she had been a part of me. Like another limb. A human-shaped limb. Which I'm glad she's not because on a literal level, that would make me look a trifle odd. And would also probably be highly uncomfortable for both of us. Things would have been far simpler if she was a ship, like the _Pearl_, that I could board and ride …

_Oh, wait. Accidental innuendo…_

_You're getting off track. _

_Sorry._

Ships were easy to deal with because once you'd set your heart on a ship and fallen in love with it, all you had to do was become Captain. I had seen _The Pearl _as mine, raised her from the depths, lost her to Barbossa and fought to get her back again. Easy. A ship can't turn round and declare her love for one Captain over another. It could never reject a Captain and sail off without him. It is crews that do that. _The Pearl _couldn't have chosen whether to stay with me or Barbossa.

_Although obviously if she could have chosen she would have chosen me because _The Pearl _is not an idiot and can see Barbossa for the scraggly-bearded fool that he is. _

No. The sad truth of the matter was that Isabelle was free to come and go as she pleased. She was free to love whoever she pleased. I couldn't control that. I couldn't control her. I doubted that anyone could. _And I pity the man who tries to, she'll have his head clean off with one look. _But where does that leave me? What is Isabelle's Jack to do when he has no Isabelle and he goes back to being just Jack?

_Keep busy, I suppose. _

_I need to find something to do. _

_Something far away from all memories of her until I can forget. _

I stood up. _No time like the present. _Feeling very odd indeed I left my Cabin and went to stand at the helm of my ship. _My _ship. Something that was definitely mine. Once Barbossa had cleared off.

Night fell and I hadn't even begun to feel tired yet, which is probably a good thing because I got the feeling that whichever one out of Barbossa and I to be the first to fall asleep would be the same one who woke up dead the next morning. Having already woken up dead once before, I decided that it wasn't something I was willing to repeat in a hurry. There was also the worry of which one of us would get the Captains Quarters. I wasn't, nor will I ever be, willing to share a bed with the likes of Barbossa. He looks like a sleep-kicker. Or worse… a biter. I shuddered and glared at him so that he knew that I knew his secret sleeping issues. He glared back.

_Glare all you like. Captain's Quarters are mine, Scraggly-Beard._

We continued to glare at each other in a match that could quite happily have gone on all night until we realized that there was quite a commotion going on down below us. Many of the crew had gathered on deck to stare at the waters beneath us. I squinted down and saw that the sea was full of bodies. Hundreds of them. Just floating serenely beneath the waves as if we weren't even there. I shivered.

_I don't like death. _

_I never want to be one of them._

As Barbossa and I moved down to the lower deck, the bodies that were coming towards us were no longer floating under the waves, but were sailing towards us in boats. I liked that even less that I had liked the floating ones. And I hadn't liked the floating ones at all. They hadn't been having any fun. There are two things I've noticed about the Land of the Dead, which puts me off it hugely. First of all it's a lack of rum and secondly it's a lack of fun. _That almost rhymes._ I'm pretty convinced that the two are linked.

"It's my father, we've made it back!" Elizabeth's voice cut across the silence that had filled the deck. "Father!" I looked to where she was waving and shouting and saw that her father was indeed sitting in one of the boats. "Father look here!"

_Poor lass._

"Elizabeth," I said without really meaning to. She looked at me and I could see the hope in her eyes. _You're a murderess, you should know the dead when you see them._ "We're not back."

I watched the hope on her face fade and it didn't give me as much of a sense of justice as I thought it might. _Poor lass. _She turned away from me. "Father!" her shout was move urgent than joyful this time. To my surprise, he turned his head.

"Elizabeth…" he said slowly. "Are you dead?"

"No!" she shook her head, clinging to the railing as she moved along to keep up with him.

"I think I am…" was her father's confused reply. _At least one Swann knows what's going on. _

"No… no, you can't be!" his daughter said adamantly.

"There was a chest you see…" he told her. _Hang on, this could be useful information… _"It's odd at the time it seemed so important."

_It probably is. _

Elizabeth, of course, being the Future Mrs Eunuch, did not care about any chests that her dead father may have come across. "Come aboard!" she pleaded.

"And a heart," Governor Swann continued as if she had not spoken. "I learnt that if you stabbed the heart, yours must take its place and you will sail the seas for eternity." _Eternity, eh? That's interesting… that's very interesting… "__The Dutchman_ must have a Captain." _**I**__ could be that Captain… _For a moment all I could see was myself at the helm of _The Dutchman. _For a whole eternity. _Eternity is such a long time… _

"Someone cast a line!" Elizabeth's shrill scream cut through my lovely vision of how I might consider spending the rest of eternity. "Come back with us!" she shouted to Governor Swann. When nobody moved fast enough she threw him the rope herself.

_Eternity means I wouldn't die. _

_I'd never go back to the Locker._

"I'm so proud of you, Elizabeth," her father said quietly as the rope she had thrown him splashed into the Dead Sea.

_I'd be able to call Jones's terrible beastie of the hunt… if it's still on one._

"Father! Father!" she screamed frantically. "Take the line!"

_Jones's terrible beastie would become __**my **__terrible beastie. _

"She must not leave the ship!" Tia's authoritative voice rang out and people ran after Elizabeth. I stayed where I was for a moment.

_Could I really cut out my heart…?_

_That would mean that Isabelle…_

_Oh my God. Isabelle. _

I blinked and looked up at where I could see her standing with the others. _Is she okay? _I knew that her family had been close to Elizabeth's. I walked up to join her on the upper deck. Will was holding a sobbing Elizabeth while Tia, Barbossa, Gibbs and Pintel looked on in sombre silence. Isabelle stood between the two groups, unsure of what to do and where to go. She and Elizabeth still hadn't spoken since the shores at World's End, but I could see how torn she was in wanting to comfort her friend. Her own sadness meant that tears were falling from her eyes, but I doubted she knew they were there. I watched her take a step forwards and pushed Gibbs out of the way. She took another step and I caught her arm. She turned, looking like a lost and bewildered child. "She has Will, love," I told her quietly. "She'll need you, but not just now."

Very slowly, she nodded. I pulled her close to me. She didn't resist me as I lead her slightly away from Will and Elizabeth and sat her down on the stairs. We sat in silence for a while. I didn't make her speak and she didn't cry again, not at first. And then her tears fell thick and fast, but silently. She tried to hide them from me, but I pulled her towards me and held her as close as I possibly could. I rocked her slightly, taking in her familiar scent, the feel of her hair under my chin and her warm body in my arms. When I felt her arms wrap around me I buried my face in her hair and placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head. "I can't believe he's dead," she whispered.

"I know, love," I said quietly. She sat up and looked up at me. Keeping one arm around her shoulders, I used my thumb to wipe tears away from under her eyes. She looked tired. Exhausted. "Were you close?" I asked tentatively. She nodded.

"He was… he was there the night my parents died," she said quietly. The arm I had placed around her shoulders squeezed her slightly closer. My free hand held on to one of hers. "And he looked after us. James and I. He made sure we were okay. He made sure James kept his job in the Navy and that I was looked after while he was away. I just… He was so…"

She started crying again, although she was doing her best not to. I pulled her back into a hug. "It's alright, darlin'." I said as soothingly as I possibly could. "It's alright to be sad."

She wrapped her arms around me again and I felt her body collapse into mine. We sat like that for hours. Sometimes she'd cry, other times we would just sit in silence, but she never moved out of my arms. Not once. Her head rested dangerously close to where my heart was. The heart I might have to cut out.

_Well… if Belle doesn't want it, I may as well cut it out. _

_This may, actually, be a way to solve all my current problems. _

_It worked for Jones, why not me?_

_Cut out the problem at its source- my heart. _

Somewhere between the last hour of darkness and the very beginning of dawn Isabelle fell asleep. I thought for a moment about moving her to her bunk, but I was far too comfortable. And there were so few people on deck that it was almost like it was just the two of us. _Barbossa can have the Captain's Quarters tonight. I'll fight him for it tomorrow. _

Now that she was asleep I kissed the top of her head again and in her sleep she sighed a sigh that sounded almost happy and content. I did it again and smiled, feeling the way her breathing had evened out. I rested my head on hers and looked out over my ship. I felt calm and peaceful. Happy with where I was just now and also with my new-found plan for the future.

_The Immortal Captain Jack Sparrow… well that certainly has a ring to it._

_I like it. _

_I like it a lot._

_Might get it engraved somewhere. _

_Possibly on my hat for everyone to see._

The sun rose a little higher and Isabelle stirred, dislodging my head from its comfortable position. She looked up at me, slightly confused to see me at first but then she smiled, still looking sleepy. _I could start every morning like this… except preferably in more comfortable surroundings. The steps of the _Pearl _aren't exactly cushioned. _

"Mornin', love," I said, smiling down at her.

_I love you, darlin'. _

She frowned a little, still looking adorably bewildered as to why she wasn't in her bunk. "How long was I asleep?" she asked.

I shrugged. "'Bout an hour," I guessed.

"Oh," she looked surprised and also tired. "Sorry I fell asleep on you."

_Don't be so ridiculous._

"That's alright, love." I pulled her towards me and she nestled her head back where it had been. We sat in silence for a moment and everything was peaceful. I was peaceful, she was peaceful and it seemed that everything around us was that way too. Even the sea seemed to have taken a leaf out of our book. The waves were gentle and quiet, seemingly still and content for once. The deck was silent, as most people were still asleep. Barbossa was mooching around pretending that he was a Captain when in fact he wasn't. As usual. But somehow I wasn't as annoyed as I should have been. I hesitated for a moment before letting myself rest my chin on her head again. She didn't seem to mind.

_Maybe she's fallen asleep again. _

_Good. I hope so. She's been tired a lot lately, that can't be good for her._

In my arms I felt her sigh. "Why?" she said quietly. "Why did he have to die?"

_That's never an easy question. To ask or answer.  
_

"He knew too much about the heart, I suppose," I told her gently. "And Beckett didn't want that."

_That's what happens when spoilt children turn in to spoilt adults with too much power. _

"He was murdered then," she said, bluntly. I didn't say anything and let her process the information in silence. The answer was obvious enough. _Is something like this enough to push her away from Port Royal? Knowing what her people are really like? Knowing what she'd be going back to? _She sat up and looked at me with fresh determination shining in her eyes. I loved that look. "What are we going to do about Beckett?" she asked me, with venom in her voice at the mention of his name. "Do you have a plan?"

"Yes," I told her. "I'm going to stab the heart."

It did not have the desired effect. I felt her body tense and then she drew back from me, staring at me with wide eyes and a small frown. I kept my arm around her shoulders, feeling uneasy.

"Stab the heart?" she repeated. "The heart of Davy Jones?"

_Well yes, his heart has been the main topic of conversation for some time… who else did you think it was?_

"Yes, love, I'm going to kill Jones." I smiled at her. "And then I can live forever." I smiled again at the thought of immortality. Without a heart it would be pain-free. I pulled her back in to that comfortable hug, but she wasn't having any of it. She shook herself free and stood up. I looked up at her. _What's wrong with you now? _She glared down at me.

"That's you're plan, then? " she asked incredulously. _Why do you look so offended? _"To live forever like Jones until the next person comes along and stabs _your_ heart? And what about the rest of us, those of us left to fight? And face Beckett _without_ immortality?"

_Yes, well when you put it like __**that **__it does sound a bit selfish. _

_Not that it's any of your business. _

"What does it matter to you?" I asked her. "You're going back to Port Royale."

_I hate that poxy little place. _

For a moment she was almost thrown by what I had said. I almost had her. "That's different!" she protested angrily.

_No it isn't._

"How?" I raised my eyebrows at her. She was going to have her own life in Port Royal. She was going to be safe, protected. And I was going to protect myself, just in a different way than she was.

"I don't have anything to keep me here," she said, angrily.

_Fine. _

I stood up to try and mask the fact that all the anger and frustration I had been feeling had left me. I looked at her, trying not to show that her words had whipped up a storm inside me. "Then, neither to I," I said quietly. We stared at each other for a long time. Her eyes seemed almost to be burning into mine.

_Go on. _

_Say it, Belle. _

_Say it._

_Prove that I do have something to keep me here. Something to live for. _

_Say it._

_Prove me wrong. _

_Show me that __**someone **__would miss me. _

_Go on, Izzy. Say it. _

_Tell me you love me. _

_Tell me you love me and I'll stay._

She said nothing and turned away from me.

_Yeah... that's what I thought.  
_

* * *

**Thank you so much for reading, as always. Please leave a review if you've got a sec! Thanks.**

**Review Replies:**

**GoTeamSkipper- Haha, yes they do have so many fights and miscommunications. I don't know how they have the energy for it, to be quite honest. I keep having to remind myself of them. The last one stemmed from her finding out about the Sparrabeth kiss and being sad about it. **

**Eponine Sparrow- Thank you! I'm so glad you like them and that you think I've captured him well. That means a lot. **

**Guest- Hahaha, I'm glad you liked the long arrres. They crack me up every time I watch the third one. Barbossa's so ridiculous, but that's why we love him. **

**thEcrEAtor23- Jack Sparrow is a great thing to be obsessed by. I'm happy to help :P Glad you're enjoying the story… should I be worried that you think like Jack? No… I think I'll let that be.**


	42. Danglers, Floaters and Barnacles

As the day progressed everyone's spirits seemed to plummet to the depths of the ocean. The complaints about the lack of water on board were beginning to annoy me. I had been thirsty for months in the Locker. They would all just have to get on with it. They'd left me to for long enough. I had little to no sympathy for them. Any of them. I was in a thoroughly bad mood with everyone on board. There wasn't one of them I wanted to lay eyes on. I couldn't believe that these idiots were the ones I had missed in the Locker. It seemed almost ridiculous now that they were all actually here.

_Maybe I was better off alone. _

_Well not alone… just by myselfs. _

I sat with the Charts and tried to block them all out. If I couldn't get out of here then I couldn't get to Jones. If I couldn't get to Jones then I couldn't stab his heart. And if I couldn't do that then there was no point in going back at all. Barbossa was still of the dreadful and naïve opinion that everything would be fine if he just stood at the helm and pretended he was important. He was wrong on two counts. Firstly, he was standing the wrong place- he should either be in the brig or not here at all. Secondly, things would never be fine if we ended up trapped here with no food or water and worst of all… each other.

_Enough of this over the edge shenanigans. It's unhelpful._

_Time to find a new set of instructions._

I moved the Charts again until a new sentence was formed. I stared at it. "Up is down," I ready. _What? _"Well… that's just maddeningly unhelpful." _Trust Chartman to have the most useless Charts and beard in the whole world. _"Why are these things never clear?"

"Clear as mud, Jack-y."

"What? Eh?" I glanced around for the source of the voice. _Who the hell said that? This was a private conversation with myself. How rude of you to interrupt. Whoever you are._

"Stab the heart," he spoke again. _Oh it's me interrupting my conversation. I suppose that makes it okay then…_

"Don't stab the heart," myself chimed in, appearing on the other shoulder.

_What silly advice from myself. I'll probably side with me on this one._

"Come again?" I asked him. He was hanging off one of my dreadlocks. _You are both a lot smaller than I remember._

"The _Dutchman _must have a Captain," he said.

_Doesn't really clear anything up you silly, tiny myself. _

"That's even more than less than unhelpful," I told myself. _The _Dutchman's _nothing like the _Pearl.

"Sail the seas for eternity," me on my left shoulder piped up again.

_I like the way you think, me._

"I love the sea," I admitted.

"What about Port," me asked. _Hate Ports. All of them. Especially the Royal ones. _

"I prefer Rum," I told me. "Rum's good." _Wish I had some… _

"_Making _Port," me clarified, strolling along my shoulder as if it were his own. "Where we can get Rum, and salty wenches…"

"Once every ten years," myself finished.

"What'd he say?" me shouted in my ear. _Keep it down, you'll give all three of me a headache. _

"Once every ten years," I repeated.

"Ten years is a long time, mate," me pointed out.

_Too long._

"Even longer given the deficit of Rum," I said glumly. _No amount of Rum I could hold on a ship would last a normal person for ten years. _

"But eternity is longer still," me said in my most persuasive tone. It's very effective. Even on myself.

"And how will you be spending it?" myself asked. "Dead?" I looked at him. _Oh I don't think so… How could you suggest such a thing? _"Or not."

_Not dead is 100% better than dead. Trust me, I've done both. _

"The Immortal Captain Sparrow," me said with the grandeur that it deserved.

_Better. That's much better than dead. _

"Oh… I like that," I smiled.

"You like that more than you like Isabelle?" my question from myself caught me off guard and for a moment I couldn't reply. Myselfs looked at me, waiting. I looked down at the Charts again.

"I…" I said. "I… I don't…"

"Can't fool us, Jack-y," me said. "We're you."

_Fair point._

_Damn._

"Is it relevant?" I dodged the question quite unsuccessfully, considering that it was myself I was talking to and nobody knows when I'm dodging something better than I do.

"Well you'd never see her again," me said solemnly.

_I don't like that idea. Not really. _

"Not true," myself butted in. I looked at him. "Once every ten years," he said, knowingly. I brightened immediately. _Good, I'm so clever._

_Well done me. _

"What'd he say?" me asked, louder than he had before.

"Once every ten years," I repeated. There was a silence. "I could still see Belle once every ten years."

"True enough," me admitted his error, but I didn't like his tone. It was the tone I used when someone had said something stupid or missed something that's obvious. _Don't say 'but'. _"But…" _Bugger. _"What'll you see every ten years?"

"Eh?" I glanced at him, annoyed that he was ruining my good ideas.

"Well… ten years is a long time, mate."

_You've said that before. _

"Even longer, given that it's Belle," myself had now jumped on the bandwagon of crushing my ideas.

"What?" I frowned. "I'd have an eternity."

"_She_ wouldn't," me reminded me and my blood ran cold. I could see myself nodding out of the corner of my eye. I gulped.

"So, you'd see her once every ten years… but her life wouldn't stand still while you were away, mate," he interjected.

"That's right," me agreed. "So, you leave to go off to sail the seas and ferry souls. First ten years- you come back and she's married."

_Bugger._

"Possibly to George," myself added, "with children."

_No._

"Second ten years and he'll have been promoted, moved to a bigger house… who knows where they'll be raising their children? Who knows if you'll find them in a day?" me continued.

"Her eldest will probably be joining their father in the Navy," myself added.

"Third set of ten years and she'll have grandchildren," me looked up. He looked sad. "And she'll be aging too, Jack-y. Let's not forget that. You'll see her getting weaker. You might see her ill, you might see her dying. You might see her dead. Or you'll leave her healthy and one day you'll come back and find out that she's been dead for years and you never knew."

_No. No. Please no._

"Or maybe you'll have to ferry her across," myself mused quietly.

_I couldn't. I wouldn't. _

"That's assuming she survives in to old age," me sighed. "Who knows what'll happen to her? You might never know. You may never find her in _one_ day."

I gulped and realized I was shaking as I touched the hard edges of my Compass. "I have my Compass," I said with determination. "I'll always be able to find her if I have that." I held on to it tightly for reassurance and didn't like the way myself laughed.

"How? By following what your heart wants most?" he asked. "You can't find anything that way if you don't have a heart to follow."

"Lock your heart away and you'll lose her forever," me agreed. I felt my heart sink.

I glanced quickly at where she was standing looking out at the setting sun. The mysterious aching, which had grown and spread like a fire ripping through my innards, got worse. Much worse. "We've already lost her, mate." I told me quietly. "She was never ours. She doesn't want to be."

Myself sighed, "Well, come sunset it won't matter."

_Sunset… set… You're a genius._

"Not sunset," I leant forwards to look at the clues on the Charts. "Sun_down… _and rise… UP!" _This is so good. I'm so proud of myself. All of myself. But especially me. _I stood up. "What's that?" I shouted, pointing to sea. A few people heard me, but that was all I needed. Hysteria tends to spread like a plague. I pretended to stare at something as everyone else strained to do the same. "What _is _that?" _Nobody knows. _"I don't know… what do you think?"

_I think there's nothing there. _

_Good observation. _

"Where?" asked Gibbs.

_Good, someone's hooked._

"There," I said, not moving my eyes from the spot I had chosen. Enough people had taken notice now for me to be able to focus their attention on the other side of the ship. I ran across and they followed.

_Good, you can always rely on people to act like sheep when you need them to. _

I did a highly accurate, yet manly, impression of someone finding something absolutely terrifying in the waters below. More people got caught up. I gave them a chance to catch up before I ran off, back to the other side. "What is it?" Elizabeth asked.

I screamed and ran from her. Everyone followed, possibly because they didn't want to be murdered by a murderess. Or because they were following me. I did it again. And again. And again.

"He's rocking the ship!" Pintel shouted.

_Clever, didn't expect you to be the first to get it. Points for you._

"We're rocking the ship!"

_Ah, now Gibbs has realized. _

The idea spread almost as quickly as the hysteria had. Even Barbossa knew what was going on. He ordered the cargo and the cannons to be cut loose. I could feel it all thundering and crashing beneath us. It was about the most useful thing that Barbossa had ever done. Now that people had realised they weren't running for no reason, our efforts became more concentrated and things progressed very quickly. It also meant that I could stop pretending to be terrified by every little wave I saw. The_ Pearl _pitched violently back and forth. I held on to the side as it rose several feet above the waterline.

_This is it._

_This could be it._

_This isn't it._

_Never mind. _

I let go and ran to the other side, as the _Pearl _pitched the other way. It was difficult to run up the almost vertical deck , I wasn't sure stupid people- like the Eunuch- would be able to keep up, but he did. We held on to the other side and hoped that gravity would soon do its job.

_This is really it._

_This might be it. _

_Nope._

_Never mind. _

I let go and we all started running again. I was beginning to wonder if this was even possible, or if I had completely miscalculated everything, the _Pearl _would never tip and I would spend eternity running from one side of her to the other like an absolute idiot. We reached the other side.

_This probably won't work._

_Oh wait._

_Wait._

Gravity took over and my feet slowly lifted from the deck as it actually became vertical to the waves.

_This is it. _

_This is happening. _

_We've actually done it. _

I heard someone scream and saw one of Tai Huang's men fall from where we were dangling. He was swiftly followed, and then crushed by, a loose cannon.

_Ouch. That would be a terrible way to go._

There was an awkward pause when we were just hanging, suspended in mid-air when I wondered whether the _Pearl _would actually tip any further or if we would dangle until our arms snapped off. I wasn't prepared to dangle forever. That would be a terrible life. There was a creak and I felt her start to roll the rest of the way over.

_Oh good. _

_No more dangling._

"And now up," I announced, just in case there was someone who reached a new level of stupidity (like Will) and hadn't understood what we were doing, "is down."

_I hope I'm right._

_What if I'm not?_

My feet hit the water.

_Ah, well… too late now. _

Every dangler took a collectively deep breath as the _Pearl _rolled over. She settled, upside down, with her hull in the air. Then the danglers all became floaters. Well not really floaters… more like clingers-on. Like barnacles. _Barnacles must have terrible lives. Simple, but terrible. _In the darkness of the water I saw someone accidentally floating away. _What a terrible barnacle. Who is more stupid than a barnacle and too incompetent to behave like one. _

Further down the line of danglers I saw the Deadly Strumpet start to panic and thrash around in the water.

_Will._

_Of course. _

_Well that answers the age-old question of who's smarter- a Eunuch or a barnacle._

_Turns out it's barnacles._

He grabbed on to something further down the ship and I saw his Deadly Strumpet calm down. The water was getting darker as the sun fully set above us. I looked around at everyone. This would be a very bad time to be wrong about something. If I'd been wrong about this and we'd turned the _Pearl _upside down only to drown ourselves everyone would be very cross with me. _Actually, no they wouldn't because they'd be dead. _

_Oh._

_Oh God._

_What the hell was that?_

A jolt passed through my entire body and somehow everything became a lot clearer. It was as if everything I had been feeling before it was a mere echo of how I was now. I could feel a lot more both physically and emotionally. The water around me flashed green and I understood. I was truly alive again. _The Pearl _began to rumble and shake. The water around us fell away and we were thrown to the deck. Everything came crashing down. For a moment it was like being caught in the waves of a terrible storm. There was water everywhere- in my clothes, in my eyes, in my ears, in my nose and mouth. I coughed and looked up. The last of the water was cascading over the sides of the _Pearl _and into the sea where it belonged.

"Blessed sweet westerlies!" I heard Gibbs shout. "We're back!"

I hauled myself to my feet and looked around.

_This is the sea._

_The __**real **__sea._

_Not some dead shadow that I've been trapped on. _

_This is the sea I know and love._

"It's a sunrise," said the Deadly Strumpet. We all took a moment to look out at where a small, beautiful sun was rising over the horizon.

_Oh… well this is lovely. What a nice day for every-_

_Oh. No._

Barbossa drew his pistol and aimed it straight between my eyes. I drew my own and pointed it right back at him. I heard a click as William turned his on me.

_I don't think so, Eunuch._

I pointed one pistol at him and one at his Deadly Strumpet, who had decided to get involved.

_I don't know why you're looking so offended, you did murder me. Or have you forgotten why we're all here?_

Barbossa had taken his pistol off me, so that he too could aim it at Mr and Mrs Eunuch. It says a lot about how annoying a couple are if they can unite Barbossa and I in mutual dislike of them. Barbossa started to laugh in his grim and sinister way. I knew it was a bluff, but I laughed along.

_I'm laughing at your beard, Barbossa. _

_Which isn't funny at all. It's atrocious. _

The false laughter spread and intensified as pistols were lowered at an even speed. Nobody wanted to be the first to be defenseless.

_Oh. Maybe we are calling a truce. Maybe this is real. Maybe we won't-_

_No._

_Nevermind._

All pistols were raised again and the laughter was cut short. "Right then," Barbossa snapped. "The Brethren Court is a-gathering at Shipwreck Cove and Jack you and I are a-going and there'll be no arguing that point."

His pistol was trained on me.

"I _is_ arguing the point," I told him. _I'll argue it to the grave. 'A-going' isn't even a word._ "If there's pirates a-gathering I'm pointing my ship the other way."

The Deadly Strumpet turned both barrels on me. She looked angry and disgusted by me, which isn't anything new. "The pirates are gathering to fight Beckett and you are a pirate!"

_Well noticed. Means nothing to me._

I turned both of my pistols on her, but then that annoyed Will, who did the same to me. _For God's sake, stay out of it, lad. You're not even clever enough to be a barnacle, you shouldn't have a gun. _

"Fight or not, you're not running, Jack," he told me. I moved one pistol back to him. _Who are you to tell me what I'll do?_

"If we don't stand together," Barbossa chimed in. "They'll hunt us down one by one till there be none left… but you."

_Exactly my plan. _

"I like the sound of that…" I said and Barbossa looked simultaneously annoyed and surprised. "Captain Jack Sparrow… the last pirate."

_It has such a beautiful ring to it._

"Aye," Barbossa stepped forward, moving his pistol closer to my face. "And you'll be fighting Jones alone, how does that figure into your plan?"

_You can't shoot me, you need me for your own plan._

"I'm still working on that," I admitted. "But I will not be going back to the Locker mate, you can count on that."

I moved my pistol to his face and pulled the trigger. I'd shot him once before, twice wouldn't be difficult. Except that nothing happened. Nothing but a little spurt of water. The _Pearl _was suddenly full of the sound of many clicks as every gun was tried. "Wet powder," Gibbs said angrily. _I didn't even know you were involved in this…_

I smiled at Barbossa as he waved his pistols at me, laughing at our mistakes. He turned away. _I still hate you and one day you'll suffer for it._

Now that shooting each other was out of the question, the deck was full of a tense, tense silence. Many glares were shot off instead of bullets. I wished that everyone on this ship would be swallowed by the sea and leave me in peace. _If Barbossa turns his back on me again I could strangle him… I could just grab him by the throat and-_

"We need water!" Isabelle's voice suddenly broke the tension and everyone looked at her. There was a slight pause and then a general agreement among the crew. Everyone who hadn't been involved in the disappointing water shoot-out still looked a little scared. Will arrived with the Charts before I even had a chance to notice he was gone.

He unrolled them and everyone gathered round. "There's a freshwater spring here," he pointed one out immediately. _How did you know that?_ "We can restock there and get back to shooting each other later."

_Over my dead body._

I looked at Barbossa. "You lead the shore party, and I'll stay with my ship."

_And you can stay on shore. Forever._

"I'll not be leaving _my _ship in your command," he narrowed his eyes.

_It's not yours. _

"Why don't you both go ashore and leave the ship in my command," the Eunuch piped up from in between us. _Are you mad? Are you actually a stark-raving lunatic? What makes you think that you have any hope in Hell of- _"Temporarily."

_Oh. Well that's not so bad then. _

I only agreed to it once Barbossa had. Things were still tense when we set sail. I had a feeling that they would continue to be tense until one of us was dead. And that one wasn't going to be me. I saw him standing there with his telescope out and trained on the horizon, thinking he was in some way important.

_I'll show you._

I pulled out the giant telescope that Isabelle had got for me and casually strolled up to stand beside him. I didn't say anything as I pulled it out and stretched it to its full capacity. _Please notice it. Please notice it. Please notice it._

_Yes!_

_I knew I was bigger and better than you._

I walked away smugly, having proved my point.

When the shore party was ready to sail, I noticed with a jolt that Isabelle was among them. She didn't say anything to me and she looked about as unhappy as I felt about the situation. I wanted to not want to speak to her, but it was incredibly difficult. She wouldn't even look at me. I tried not to look at her, but I could see her even when I wasn't. Which I know doesn't make sense. I was just so aware of her.

As we came ashore I saw something lying on the beach. Something huge. I squinted at it, trying to make out what it was. I stood up and stepped ashore and then it hit me. "The Kraken," I whispered without meaning to. It was dead. Its tentacles were entangled with one another and it smelt even worse than before. For a moment I went numb.

_This is it. _

_That is what killed me. _

I walked towards it, some of the crew ran past me to get a better look at it. I looked it in the eyes, something I'd never had the chance to do before it killed me. I thought I might be happy to see it dead. I thought that it might bring a sense of justice, but it didn't. That animal didn't know what it was doing. It couldn't think for itself. Jones thought for it. He was the real culprit. Him and Elizabeth. The Kraken should really have been free.

_Poor thing. Last of its kind._

_Died alone. _

_Suppose it lived alone too._

_Which is sad._

"Still thinking of running Jack?" Barbossa asked me. I didn't look at him. "Think you can outrun the world? The problem with being the last of something is that by and by there'd be none left at all."

_Not strictly true… _

"Sometimes things come back, mate," I pointed out. "We're living proof- you and me."

"Aye, but that's a gamble of long odds ain't it? There's never a guarantee of coming back. But passing on… that's dead certain," Barbossa said, I looked back to the Kraken. He was right, annoyingly. There was a knot in the pit of my stomach that I couldn't quite place. I knew he was talking about the Brethren Court and my Piece of 8. That was all he cared about. If I'd passed that on before I'd died he wouldn't have needed to come and get me. I'd probably still be there.

_Trouble is, I have nobody to pass it on to._

_Why does that bother me? It never used to._

"Summoning the Brethren Court is it then?" I asked.

"Our only hope," he replied.

_Bugger._

"That's a sad commentary in and of itself," I noted. There was a silence that felt strangely heavy.

"The world used to be a bigger place," Barbossa said as if it were some kind profound commentary on the death of the last Kraken. He was, as he often is, mistaken. The world hadn't changed shape or size, but its contents had changed. That wasn't what bothered me. What bothered me was that nobody cared that the Kraken was dead. Nobody mourned it. Nobody came to see where it was. There were people like Barbossa who lamented the loss of something that would soon turn to myth and be forgotten. And people like Pintel and Ragetti, who saw it as some kind of novelty. There were others too, far away from here, who wouldn't ever believe it had been real in the first place.

_Nobody cared that it was dead._

_Did anyone care that I was? Or rather, that I had been?  
_

_Would I be here now if other people hadn't needed me for something?_

_Not even needed me as a person, but needed something I owned._

_If I wasn't a Pirate Lord… I'd still be in the Locker. Washed up and forgotten._

"The world's still the same," I told him, as the knot in my stomach tightened. I wanted it to go away and stop reminding me of how miserable I was. How alone. A constant, aching reminder that nobody cared. "There's just less in it…" I reached out without thinking and found exactly what I didn't know I had been looking for. Isabelle's fingers entwined with mine as I took her hand. Barbossa said something and moved on, but I stayed where I was for a moment. Isabelle didn't move from my side. I turned my head to look at her. She was looking at the Kraken with a solemn face and sad eyes. I knew at once that she understood how I was feeling. I knew it in the same way that I had known her hand would be waiting for mine without having to look for her. She was always exactly where I needed her to be.

_Why are you here, Belle? You don't care about the Brethren Court. Why did you come for me after I died, when you could have gone Port Royal... where you want to be?_

As I looked back to the Kraken I remembered those moments before I'd died. It had been Isabelle who was in my last thoughts. She'd been the last thing I heard. I'd heard her screaming and crying and fighting to save me, even when I was literally inches from death. She'd had no ulterior motives then, and she'd been willing to do anything. How could I doubt her? How dare I doubt that she cared about me?

_She came to World's End over Port Royal._

I gave her hand a squeeze and felt her squeeze back.

_She came because she cares._

I looked at her again and in that moment I was filled with such an exquisite pain that I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to move again. I loved her so much. So much more than I ever thought was possible. And she _did _care about me, she did _love_ me. She _must _love me to have come all that way to save me. Even just to be here now. We'd fought, and yet she still held my had because she new I needed her. She loved me enough to put my safety and feelings above her own. She loved me enough to be the best friend I had ever had. She just didn't love me in the way that I wanted her to. And I couldn't be angry at her for that. I had tried so hard to hate her for it, but I couldn't really blame her. It was just easier for me to hate her than it was for me to love her in a way that could never be returned.

She turned her head towards mine. Our eyes met and I was thrown in to a new kind of beautiful torture. One I had been repressing since she had told me she wanted to go home. It made me surer than ever of my decision to become the new Captain of the _Flying Dutchman. _I didn't want Isabelle to be away from me, but I couldn't have her near me without feeling that excruciatingly beautiful pain. Cutting out my heart was the only way to stop myself from feeling it. It was a coward's way out, but I didn't have any other options. There was only so long I could feel like this before it drove me to insanity. She gave me a small smile. "You ready?" she asked. I nodded. There was a tug on my hand as she led me away. I felt another tug in my chest and knew that if the day ever came that I wanted my heart back, I would know where to find it.

Wherever she went, it would follow.

* * *

**Please review :)**

Review Replies:

**Eponine Sparrow: I love Jack and his thinking process because there's moments when he says/ does something that's really, really clever and then other times you just have to wonder what on earth is going on in that head of his :P**

**PirateNinjaCJS: ENOUGH OF THE SAD FACES. YOU'RE MAKING ME FEEL GUILTY. But I'm glad you loved the Chapter :D**

**GoTeamSkipper: Haha, thank you! Love all your ship names, call them whichever you feel better about. If only everyone could hear your advice, this would all be over a lot faster. **

**Guest: Haha thanks! Isabelle Gull just doesn't have the same ring to it :P Also, I'd be so annoyed if someone compared me to a seagull and I'm sure Isabelle would be too!**


	43. Captain Turner Needs The Pearl

**Hello. I'm so sorry, it feels like I have been gone for at least six thousand years. I've actually spent a month in Thailand teaching English to some lovely kids out there and my plan was to update the moment I returned. Unfortunately, my granddad died a few hours before I landed. We were very close and things have been very hectic since then. I'm sorry it's been so long, but I hope you all understand my reasons why.  
Thank you so much for reading ****  
LV xx**

I let my Belle lead me away from the Kraken. We were following Barbosa, but that didn't actually bother me all that much. I felt strangely peaceful. I looked down to where Isabelle's hand was still swinging in mine, and then I looked back to her face and smiled. After a moment she seemed to realise that I was looking at her and she turned to smile back. I walked a little closer to her and felt a little bit better. The two seemed to go hand in hand- being close to Belle and feeling better. It was a connection I had noticed since the day I'd met her. Soon I was feeling good enough to overtake Barbossa, so that I could be a proper Captain and lead _my _crew to what we had set out to look for. I could hear the rush of water that told me we were getting close long before I could actually see it.

_Oh good. Something's gone right for a change. I love it when things happen without a hitch. It's such a rare occurance-_

_Oh. Wait. _

_Why is there a body in the water?_

_That's not right, is it? Doesn't sound hygienic at all… _

Barbossa stepped past me to take a closer look. He dipped his fingers into the spring to taste it. _That's vile. _He spat it out before I had a chance to voice my disgust. "Poisoned," he announced, "Fouled by the body."

_That's even more vile. _

Pintel splashed his way through the water to roll the dead man onto his back. "Hey, I know him!" He said, looking shocked. "He was in Singapore."

_When were you ever in Singapore…?_

I heard Isabelle gasp and I looked at her. She was staring at the face of the dead man as if she had known him too.

_More importantly, when were __**you **__ever in Singapore? I doubt it's somewhere your brother would have taken you._

I glanced around at everyone else to find that they all had exactly the same look on their faces. Even Cotton's parrot screeched out, "Singapore!"

_Did everyone just go gallivanting off to Singapore while I was dead?_

_That is the rudest thing I've ever heard._

"Captain!" Marty shouted and I looked up at him. _Barbossa better not be looking up too because that was obviously directed at me. _He pointed to where Ragetti was standing at the shoreline waiting for us. "Oi!" He shouted to us, "We've got company!" He pointed out to sea, where another ship was pulling up beside the _Pearl._ It was unmistakeably one of Sao Feng's, Pirate Lord of Singapore.

_Oh bugger._

_I hate Singapore._

_Still… at least now I know it wasn't a holiday they were all on without me._

The air was filled with clicks as Tia Huang's men all aimed their pistols at me. _Of course… of course you're all secretly working for Sao Feng. That's just my luck._

_But I am not being shot for this. _

"He's the Captain," I pointed to Barbossa, hoping that they would shoot him immediately. It was obviously a huge disappointment when they didn't.

We were escorted back into the longboats at gunpoint. It walked over there with a heart that was heavy for two reasons- one, Barbossa was still alive and two, if Sao Feng was really here there was a very high possibility that I, myself, wouldn't still be alive very soon. Sao Feng and I weren't exactly friends. This was because he was one of the very few people I'd ever met that had the extraordinary ability to dislike me. Norrington suffered from the same affliction. I think it might be some kind of medical disease. William and his Charming Murderess had bouts of it from time to time, but I put that down to their inborn stupidity.

As the _Pearl _drew nearer to us I tried to make myself as small as possible. I hoped that if I somehow managed to hide myself and not say a word, Sao Feng might just look right past me. When we were all led from the longboats to the ship I did my best to hide myself behind Barbossa. I hoped that anyone looking in this direction would be too distracted by the horrific sight that was Barbossa to pay any attention to me.

"Sao Feng," Barbossa said as I ducked down behind him. "You being here is truly a remarkable co-incidence."

There was an agonisingly long silence. "Jack Sparrow…" Sao Feng greeted me. _Bugger. How did you see me? He doesn't sound too angry… _I stepped out from Barbossa's shadow and smiled at him. Maybe I could diffuse his anger with all of my natural charm. Or maybe he didn't have any anger. Maybe he'd forgotten. "You paid me great insult once."

_Bugger._

"That doesn't sound like me," I lied. Before I could lie any further I saw the blur of his fist moving towards my face and felt an explosion of pain as I was knocked backwards. I held onto my nose and clicked it back into place. _You need to work on your own manners before you go around telling me off for mine. _"Shall we call it square then?"

_Please say yes._

"Release her," demanded a voice that was annoyingly familiar. The demand was rather familiar too. Everyone turned to see the Eunuch barging his way through to frown at Sao Feng. "She's not part of the bargain."

_Funny how he always manages to forget Belle when he's making these bargains. I don't know how she chooses her friends, but she needs a better screening system. _

"And what bargain be that?" Barbossa asked him. He never got an answer.

Sao Feng looked round at his men. "You heard Captain Turner, he said to them."

_CAPTAIN?_

_**CAPTAIN?**_

_EXCUSE YOU, SAO FENG, BUT THAT WHELP IS NO CAPTAIN._

"Release her," Sao Feng ordered.

"Captain Turner?" I repeated aloud. _That's more insulting than being punched on the nose._

"Aye," Gibbs chimed in, looking as disgusted as I felt at the notion of William being considered a Captain. "The perfidious rotter led a mutiny against us!"

"I need the _Pearl_ to free my father," Will announced. _Over. My. Dead. Body. _"That's the only reason I came on this voyage."

_Rude._

"Why didn't you tell me you were planning this?" Elizabeth stormed forwards in her usual foul mood.

"It was my burden to bear," he replied coldly. I looked at the pair of them. The Trecherous Eunuch and his Charming Murderess.

_He didn't come to save me because he wanted to. Did anyone?_

"He needs the Pearl. _Captain_ Turner needs the Pearl," I pointed at him and Will glared. I looked to Elizabeth and saw no friendship in her eyes either. They were as empty as she was. Her reason for being her suddenly became clear. "And you felt guilty." _That's the only reason you came. To redeem yourself. _I looked at Barbossa, "And you and your Brethren…" I wasn't as surprised by him, I'd already hated him anyway. "Did no one come to save me just because they missed me?"

_I don't like this silence._

I looked around at everyone. Tia Huang and his men seemed to be completely indifferent. Many of my crew avoided my eyes. Then Belle stumbled forwards into the middle of everyone, almost as if she'd been pushed there. Our eyes met. _Please, Belle. Please. _I realized that she had been the whole reason I had asked this question in the first place. Seeing her friend's ulterior motives had made me wonder… did she have any? She gulped, her gaze softening as she looked at me. "I… I did," she said quietly.

_Brilliant. _

_That's it. That's all I needed. _

_Oh. Oh wait. Marty? You to? _

One by one Marty, Cotton, Pintel, Ragetti and Jack the Monkey all raised their hands. _Well this is better than I expected._

I turned to everyone I no longer cared about. "I'm standing over there with them," I announced. _Jealous? You should be. I've got all the best people. _I started to make my way over to them, but before I could get close enough to Belle to hug her for what she'd said, Sao Fen grabbed me and pulled me back.

"Sorry, Jack," he snarled in my ear. "There's an old friend who wants to see you first."

His grip on my neck was like a vice. "I'm not sure how many visits from old friends I can survive," I said honestly. _I quite like surviving…_

He pushed me over to the other side of the ship, where I could see white sails on the horizon. _That's never good news. _"Here is your chance to find out," Sao Feng said smugly.

_Nope._

_Don't know how I'm going to survive this one. _

_This is one overly fancy ship. _

I looked up at the _Endeavour _as I was rowed towards it. She was as obscenely pompous asher name suggests.

_I wonder who this old friend is?_

_I hope it's not Norrington…_

I was hauled unceremoniously up the side of the _Endeavour, _marched along the deck and almost thrown through the double doors of a cabin.

"Curious," a voice remarked, drawing my eye to a ridiculously small man who was standing looking out of the window.

_Not Norrington then._

_Worse. Much worse._

"Your friends appear to be quite desperate, Jack," he continued. _I resent that comment. Only some of them are friends. _"Perhaps they no longer believe that a gathering of squabbling pirates can defeat the Flying Dutchman." _I wonder if the heart's in here… _I began my hunt for it, knowing that Culter Beckett enjoyed the sound of his own voice enough to be too absorbed in it to notice what I was up to. "And so despair leads to betrayal. But you and I are no strangers to betrayal, are we?" _I think you branding my arm was a far bigger betrayal that me not delivering your 'cargo' as a privateer, Beckett. People are not cargo. And if freeing them makes me a pirate instead of a privateer then so be it. _"It's not here, Jack."

_Damn. Maybe he's lying. _

"What? What isn't?"

"The heart of Davy Jones," he replied. "It's safely aboard the Dutchman, and so unavailable for use as leverage to satisfy your debt to the good captain."

"By my reckoning, that account has been settled," I reminded him, continuing to look around at his possessions because I knew it would annoy him.

"By your death? And yet here you are."

_Still died, didn't I?_

_That is a hideous portrait of a hideous man. How vain of you to have it done, Beckett. "_Close your eyes and pretend it's all a bad dream," I advised him. "That's how I get by."

I looked at the portrait of the man I was talking to because it was slightly less traumatizing than having to look at the man himself. I found the staff that he was depicted to be holding leaning alongside the painting. I picked it up and pretended to be Beckett. _This is the most ridiculous I have ever felt. _

"And if Davy Jones were to learn of your survival?" he asked me. _Oh bugger. _I put down his stupid staff and turned away from his stupid painting. I was both overjoyed and confused to see him pouring out some drink. _I hope it's rum. "_Perhaps you'll consider an alternative arrangement." He brought two glasses of whatever it was over to me and held one up. _That glass is tiny… _"One which requires absolutely nothing from you but information."

I looked down at where Beckett had clearly been playing a very intricate game with mini-soldiers on a map. Childish, really. He also had nine pieces of eight lined up on the table. His intentions were disgustingly clear. _And his glass is disgusting tiny. _

_Why?_

_Why is it so tiny?_

_Beckett's really short, maybe this is a normal size to him._

I took the glass he held out to me. "Regarding the Brethren Court, no doubt," I stated. _I'll be having the other one too… One glass is not sufficient for a fully grown human person. _I took the other glass. "In exchange for fair compensation?" I drank down the first glass, feeling the beautiful alcohol burn my throat. "Square my debt with Jones..." I drank the other one too. "Guarantee my freedom?"

_And then I might buy you some proper glasses. _

"Of course. It's just good business," Beckett agreed.

"Were I in a divulgatory mood," I said, picking up one of Beckett's toy soldiers that looked unnervingly like him. "What then might I divulge?"

"Everything", he whispered and I turned to find him in an alarmingly and sickenly close proximity to me. "Where are they meeting? Who are the pirate lords? What is the purpose of the nine pieces of eight?"

_Well… that's a lot to divulge. But I suppose… I've got a fair price for it for it._

I paced around Beckett's cabin, pretending to think it through even though my mind had been made up almost instantly. I flicked through some more of Beckett's things and came across a rather nice fan. _Well, this is fancy. _I opened it and turned to face Beckett. "You can keep Barbossa," I told him and did not miss his smug smile. "The belligerent homunculus and his friend with the wooden eye, both. The pouty, charming murderess and Turner. Especially Turner. The rest go with me on the Pearl. I'll lead you to Shipwreck Cove, where I will hand you the pirates and you will not hand me to Jones. Bloody fair deal, don't you think?"

_I think so._

He raised an eyebrow. I didn't like the look in his eye. I never did. "And what becomes of Miss Norrington?"

_Why?_

I lowered my fan. "What interest is she to you?" I countered.

"Well, she's of no interest to _me. _But her brother on the other hand…" Beckett leaned forward. I tried my best to keep my expression indifferent. "He's been very worried about her. What shall I tell him? I believe he's planning to marry her off soon."

_No. _

"Tell him," my throat felt suddenly dry and I had to gulp. "Tell him she's safe."

He still looked smug. "Jack." He put down the Piece of Eight he had been fiddling with and stood up. "Jack I've just recalled. I've got this wonderful compass," he walked past me. _Bugger. _"Which points to whatever I want. So for what do I need you?

I turned around to find him holding out my own Compass to me. "Points to the thing you want _most_," I corrected him. "And that is not the Brethren Court, is it?"

He narrowed his beady little eyes at me. "Then what is, Jack?"

"Me," I said. _Obviously._ "Dead." _Unfortunately. _

"Damn," he muttered. I he threw me my Compass and I threw him his stupid little fan.

"Although," his eyes widened with the glimmer of an idea. "If I kill you, then I can use the compass to find - Shipwreck Cove, is it?- on my own." He raised his pistol. "Cut out the middle man, as it were."

_Bugger._

_This is why Goons should never think. They just can't do it. _

"With me killed, you'd arrive at the cove," I paced past him. He kept his gun trained on me. "Find it a stronghold, nigh impregnable... able to withstand blockade for years. Then you'd be wishing, 'Oh, If only there was someone I had _not_ killed inside to ensure that the pirates then come outside'."

I tried to stare him down. _Even his pistol is smaller than the average mans. Is everything Beckett has miniature? Does the man live in a dollhouse? _

"And you can accomplish all this?" he asked me.

_Obviously._

"You may kill me," I told him. _Several people have tried. _"But you may never insult me. Who am I?" He looked at me blankly. _Why does nobody ever get that?_ "I'm Captain Jack Sparrow." _Obviously. _The ship pitched violently as something blew into the side of it. Beckett slipped and stumbled backwards, one of his hands flailing about in the air. I grabbed hold of it and shock it. "Done!" I agreed.

_Time to go._

I ran to the doors and pulled them open. The two Goons who were doing a terrible job of guarding their Chief Goon started to run towards me, so I knocked them to the ground by slamming one of the double doors into each of them. _Goons are ridiculously slow. The only thing slower is a Eunuch._

I strolled out onto the deck and was almost hit by a cannon that was ploughing its way into the side of the _Endeavour. Well… somebody's started a fight. _I ran to the top deck and looked around. The _Pearl _was still there, but she was starting to sail away. _I will not watch her sail away from me again._ Igrabbed hold of a rope and one of Beckett's cannons, aiming it at the _Endeavour_'s mast. I tied my rope to the end of the cannon and popped Beckett's creepy tiny toy version of himself in the other end. _There's already one tiny Beckett, the world doesn't need any more. _

"You're mad," Beckett sounded both disbelieving and awestruck.

"Thank goodness for that, because if I wasn't, this'd probably never work." I lit the cannon and it went off with a boom that sent it flying backwards and me shooting upwards. I whizzed through the air. _Please let me land where I want to. Please. _I left the _Endeavour _far behind and saw the _Pearl _come rushing towards me.

_Get ready, lad. You're on your descent. _

_Am I actually going to make this?_

_Am I?  
_

_Oh good Lord, I think I am. _

_Quick. Grab onto something. Anything. You don't want to fall in the water and look like a fool._

I reached out for something solid and found myself connecting with the stern of the _Pearl. _I straightened up and stared at the solid, black wood of my beautiful ship in amazement. _I did it. I actually did it. _I could hear the sound of running feet and glanced over to see my crew all peering down into the waters where they thought they would find me.

_They didn't think I could make that._

_Ha!_

_Fools._

_When has a plan of mine ever failed?_

Barbossa was the first to spot me, but he had to look twice. I relished in the annoyed look on his face. One by one, everyone else noticed me too.

"And that," I told them. "Was without a single drop of rum." I winked at my Belle and she smiled. Then my eyes fell on William and my mind filled with hatred. I jumped down, landing on my feet yet again. _It would have been embarrassing if I'd managed the first jump and fallen now… _I glared at Will and he frowned back. "Send this pestilent, traitorous, cow-hearted, yeasty, cod beast to the brig," I commanded.

_I've always wanted to say that. _

_I'm sure it's bad luck to have a Eunuch aboard. _

* * *

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**Gothic Unicorn: Haha, don't worry. Feel as emotional as you like. I'm glad you liked the chapter, thanks for reviewing!**

**LillyLillyFairfa: Haha, maybe having a conversation with yourself just IS that awesome. If I were as awesome and interesting as Jack I'd never stop talking to myself.**

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	44. A Eunuch's Shenanigans with a Corpse

_CAPTAIN Turner…. __**Captain**__ Turner._

Even thinking about saying the words put a horrible taste in my mouth. _He's no better than filthy bilge rat. _Unfortunately, sometimes you need filthy bilge rats in your life. If you can train one well enough you can get it to do exactly what you want it to do. This was what I wanted to do with Will, even though I hated him. It seemed only fair to use him after he had used me for my beautiful ship. As if the _Pearl _would ever be loyal to him. I'm sure she'd rather sink herself than sail under his command. That's what I would do if I were a ship. Crash myself and Will right into the rocks, running over his charming murderess in the process and doing the world a huge favour.

_There'll be time for that later. You need him to be not drowned right now. _

If I were to pull off my deal with Beckett I would need Will, but, more importantly, if I wanted to get to the heart of Davy Jones then I would definitely need will. It seemed as if that was the only goal that we had ever had in common and thankfully our reasons for reaching that goal were different enough for him to allow me to stab it instead of him. I'd be doing him a favour. _Kind of me really. _

I sat in the shadows and waited for Will to escape from the brig. Will's only talent was escaping from things, as I had discovered the first time I had met him and he had sprung me from the jail of Port Royal. It was a shame that this was my first impression of Will because it set him up to be someone a little bit useful, when we all know that he's not. Not even remotely useful. Sure enough, for the first time in hi ridiculous life, Will did not let me down. He scampered onto the deck not long after I had sat down and I watching him struggle to tie a corpse to an empty barrel. He stared so lovingly at a knife that I was almost sick. _Eunuch's have such strange love interests. _"You escaped the brig even quicker than I expected," I said and he got such a fright that I would be surprised if he hadn't wet himself a little bit. He brandished his stupid little knife at me. I stood up and walked down the bow towards him. "William, do you notice anything?" I asked him. Will looked blankly around. _This was a rhetorical question… I'd never expect someone like you to notice anything ever. _"Rather...do you notice something that is not there to be noticed?"

_There's a nice, easy clue for you._

"You haven't raised an alarm."

_Very good, Eunuch._

"Odd, isn't it? Not as odd as this," I gestured to his corpse shenanigans. "Come up with this all by your lonesome, did you?"

_It's a ridiculous idea, so I'll assume it's yours. _

"I said to myself, 'Think like Jack'," he replied.

"This is what you've arrived at?" _I would never do any shenanigans with a corpse. _"Lead Beckett to Shipwreck Cove so as to gain his trust ...accomplish your own ends? It's like you don't know me at all, mate." _Actually… that does sound a little bit accurate. _Will lowered his knife and seemed to start thinking about exactly what he was doing now that I had put him so bluntly. Now that I had laid out every moral blunder he was making he seemed almost disgusted with himself. Which was odd. There were many things about Will that were disgusting, but this was what he was regretting? _I will never understand Eunuchs. _"And how does your dearly beloved feel about this plan?" He looked away from me. "Ah. You've not seen fit to trust her with it."

He turned his back on me. Will was so easy to get to. I jumped down and went to stand beside him.

"I'm losing her, Jack," he admitted. "Every step I take towards my father is a step away from Elizabeth."

"Mate, if you choose to lock your heart away, you'll lose her forever," I said, realising that I was echoing the advice that myself had given me over Isabelle while I had been leaving the Locker. _Oh God, I can't believe Will and I have something else in common. Thankfully, I'm making the right choice and cutting out my heart. _ "Now if I may lend a machete to your intellectual thicket… avoid the choice all together. Let someone _else_ stab the heart."

_By 'someone else' I mean 'me'._

"Who?" Will asked. _Only the best and most appropriate person for the job. _I smiled in my most I'm-the-person-you're-looking-for kind of way. "You?"

"Death has a curious way of re-shuffling one's priorities," I explained. He rolled his eyes. "I slip aboard the Dutchman, find the heart, stab the beating thing, free you're father and you'd be free to be with your charming murderess."

"And you would be willing to cut out your heat and bind yourself to the Dutchman… forever?"

_Why is he finding this so difficult to believe?_

"No mate, I'm free forever," I corrected him. "Free to sail the sea beyond the edges of the map and feel indebted to."

"You'd have to do the job though, Jack." he said coming uncomfortably close to me. "Ferry souls to the next world or you'll end up just like Jones." Will did the worst tentacle mime ever, but I knew what he meant. I was almost sick at the idea.

"I don't have the face for tentacles," I told him. _That will not be happening. _"But eternity has to count for something, eh?" He looked like he finally believed I was serious. I pulled out my Compass and handed it to him. He frowned at it. "What's this for?"

_I am not explaining the concept of a compass to you, you absolute buffoon. _

"Think like me and it'll come to you," I told him. _He'll work it out eventually. _Just as I was about to push him off the edge of the _Pearl_ he got a strange look in his eyes.

"What about Isabelle?" he asked me with a small smile. I stopped immediately.

_He knows. _

_The Eunuch knows._

_Should I lie about this? _

The look he was giving me told me that he would never be convinced otherwise. "I can't even be around her anymore, mate," I admitted. _Nice and ambiguous, not admitting that I love her, she might just be annoying me. A lot like you are, Eunuch. Can't stand to be around you either, but for very different reasons._ "The sooner I'm on _the Dutchman_ the better."

Will's eyes narrowed and for once it felt as if he was looking down on me. "You're a coward, Jack," he said.

_Shut up._

_I've had enough of this._

"So are you!" I said and pushed him into the water. I rolled the barrel and corpse combination off the side of the _Pearl _afterwards because I was being thoughtful and giving him something to cling to. "Send my regards to Davy Jones." I shouted after him, feeling in much better spirits now that the only person aboard the _Pearl _who knew my terrible, terrible secret was floating away. I turned around to go back to bed and caught sight of Isabelle in the darkness. "Oh." _Bugger. _" Hello, love."

_How long have you been there?_

"Don't worry I'm just going," she said sharply.

_Bugger. A while then._

_This is why Will looked so smug._

"Belle…" I walked over to her.

"I'm sorry I'm such a burden to have around," she said sounding hurt and angry. It was a horrible mix. She turned to walk away from me and my chest ached.

"Belle, it's not that!" I called after her without even meaning to.

"Really?" she turned around and her eyes flashed with the kind of fury she often displays that both scares me and makes me that little bit more attracted to her. "Then what is it?"

_Bugger. _

_Bugger. Bugger. Bugger. Bugger. Bugger._

_What's happening?_

_What do I say?_

She continued to stare at me with those beautiful, angry eyes.

_Tell her. _

_I have to tell her. _

"I promised William I'd stab the heart, love, remember that," I said slowly.

_Is this actually happening?_

She sighed and a small, frustrated frown crossed over her face, "You haven't answered my question."

_Am I going to…?_

"I need you to remember that, love."

_It seems that I am._

"I don't see what that has to do with-"

"William," I cut across her. "Has a reason to stay. He is engaged. He has Elizabeth and, therefore, it makes sense that I be the one to stab the heart."

"I know all this!" she narrowed her eyes at me. "I did hear your conversation, remember?" Her arms were folded across her chest, defensive.

"Will you let me finish!" I snapped. I startled her a little bit and she fell silent. _Okay, this is it. _I took a deep breath. _Just do it, Jacky, just say it. _"But what if I did have a reason to stay?"

A silence fell over both of us and Isabelle looked bewildered. _She doesn't get it. She doesn't understand. _"You just said that you didn't! And why would you promise Will if you knew you couldn't do it?!"

I couldn't even look at her. I looked down at my feet.

_You're going to have to actually say the words. _

_I love you._

_Say it, just, say it. _

_I can't. _

`"My reason," I muttered. "Might not be dissimilar to Will's."

The silence after my words crushed down heavily on the world around us, shutting out everything except Belle and I. "Oh… my…" I heard her whisper. I looked up at her. Her eyes were wide and her mouth hung slightly open. She was pale in moonlight, but seemed to have grown even paler since I had spoken.

_She gets it. _

_There's no going back._

"Belle…" I said quietly and she looked as if she was about to cry. "I…"

"**DON'T**!"

…_love you. _

Her voice was angry. So, so angry, but her eyes somehow seemed sad and so hurt. That one word, shouted at me in the darkness made me flinch away from her. It felt for a moment as if I had stopped existing. All I could see were her eyes. She glared at me. "Don't even bother finishing that sentence! I know where this is going and it can't!"

Her words seemed to hang in the air in front of me, a wall of ice between us that shattered into a million tiny little shards in the heat of our stares. The fragments of her icy words cut through me as they fell through the air and set me on fire. I could feel myself burning up from the inside out in a way that I had never felt before.

_Isabelle…_

I couldn't stop looking at her and those big blue eyes. She looked as if she too were fighting back tears, which I couldn't understand. There were many things I couldn't understand about the way she was looking at me. She was sad, but she was angry too. Was she angry at me for loving her? Or just for telling her about it because now everything was ruined?

_Don't blame me for that, you ruined it too, Belle. _

_You're the one who came out here and heard me talking to Will._

_You're the one who made me talk about it, made me say it. _

_You're the one who made me fall in love. _

I turned away from her and walked as quickly as I could towards my Cabin.

_Get me to Jones, so I can cut out his heart and be done with all this. _

When the sun rose it did little to warm the atmosphere between Belle and me. But it did bring with it a renewed determination to find and stab the heart of Davy Jones. I realized that there had been a very small part of me that had still hoped that she would somehow stop me. Previously, I had secretly been torn between my desire for immortality and my love for Isabelle. Despite having told myself that the heart was what I wanted and knowing full well that stabbing the heart would free me from everything she made me feel, I had always wondered if I would drop it all if she asked me to.

_I'll never know. I'll never have to make that choice. _

_She'll never ask._

I decided not to think about it, or her. Now was not the time for that and thinking about it wouldn't help anyone. Especially since we had just arrived at Shipwreck Cove.

"Look alive and keep a weather eye!" Gibbs called out, "Not for nought it's called Shipwreck Island where lies Shipwreck Cove and the town of Shipwreck."

_You can always count on Gibbs to lighten the mood._

Gibbs fell into step with me as the rest of the crew all sprang into action. "You know," I said, thoughtfully. "For all that pirates are clevercloggs we are an unimaginative bunch when it comes to naming things."

"Aye," Gibbs agreed.

"I once sailed with a geezer who lost both of his arms and part of his eye," I continued as we walked. I looked to Gibbs and as I did so I knocked in to someone. I knew instantly who it was. I froze for a second. _Belle. _I glanced at her. _Yeah, that was her. _I looked away again and carried on walking. Gibbs looked simultaneously confused and awkward. I wasn't sure it was possible, but he managed it. He knew that was not a normal interaction between Izzy and I. I knew he knew it, but we both knew that it was best not to acknowledge it. "What did you call him?" he asked me.

"Larry," I replied.

_Obviously._

_That was the stupidest question you've ever asked._

An odd silence fell over the _Pearl _as we neared Shipwreck Cove. It was enough to let me know that some people had never laid eyes on it before. I could kind of understand why people who were seeing it for the first time fell silent at the sight of the Cove. It's difficult to imagine just how accurate the description is. There must be near on a thousand damaged ships there, piled one on top of the other, but connected in a way that kind of almost makes sense. It's an untidy jumble that scrambles to make sense out of itself, but I suppose that's piracy for you, eh? It's a city built from the scrapheap of old ships and maybe if you'd never seen such a structure it would render you speechless. Unfortunately, I have. The tremendous silence seemed a little overdramatic. I'm right about the unimaginative name. (Obviously. I'm always right) When you break it down, Shipwreck Cove is basically a cove that is full of wrecked ships.

That's it.

That's all it is.

And if you can't guess that from the title then that's worrying.

One thing I could say for it was that the Cove had never looked busier. I had never seen so many ships moored there. Shipwreck Cove was usually fairly quiet, but not today. Today it was filled to bursting with pirates from every corner of the world.

_And there is very few of them I actually like._

_There's very few of them who actually like me, crazy as that sounds. _

"There's not been a gathering like this in our lifetime," Barbossa said sombrely. _You can always trust him to be overdramatic about everything. _

"And I owe them all money," I sighed.

_This could be an expensive few days… _

* * *

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